“Hello?”
“Did you find her yet?” Gina snaps in the phone. Calls with her are anything but pleasant, but I deserve it.
“Yes, I have found her. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet.”
“Good. You have three days to make this happen or I’ll call the cops and tell them that you’re stalking our daughter. You’ll be back in prison faster than an old woman can say ‘Amen’ in church. Oh, and don’t forget to give her the letter.”
“Yes, Gina. Is that all?”
“Yes. Stay in touch,” she says and hangs up.
I sit down on the bench and rub my hands over my face. How in the world am I supposed to make this meeting happen in three days?
When I look up I see the guy she’s been hanging around walk up to what seems to be their house. He’s with a girl with brown hair. Fucking asshole is cheating on my daughter. But when I look closer I recognize her features. It’s Katherine. She changed her appearance, but why? Then it dawns on me – Katherine runs when she is scared. Could she be planning on running again? I hope she doesn’t. She doesn’t have to live in fear anymore. Fuck. This is all my fault.
I need to get to her and I need to do it fast.
Chapter 19
Seth
Faith has been acting weird ever since we got back from Caige’s house two days ago. Sure, she said she understands what happens and that it’s okay, but something tells me that things aren’t what they seem. Not to forget her strange urge to chop her hair off and color it. Don’t get me wrong, she looks hot as hell with the new style, but if I didn’t know better, I would think there’s a reason behind why she did it. Something is off and I will find out what it is.
“Good morning, beautiful. I made breakfast for you.” I gently wake her. She smiles up at me with heavy eyes.
“What did I do to become so lucky?” The grin that spreads across her face makes my heart flutter. I can’t describe what this woman makes me feel. My life revolves around her and I want to take all her fears away from her.
“You exist. That’s all you really have to do. You brighten the room whenever you walk in. I have to catch my breath when I look at you. Sometimes I can’t believe that someone so beautiful and kind is all mine. It’s like I’m stuck in a dream, only that this is real.”
Her eyes fill with tears at my words. Did I say something wrong?
“I love you so very much, Seth Jacobs. I hope you’ll always remember that.” Why does it sound like she’s saying goodbye? What is going on?
She thinks I didn’t notice the new cuts that mar her beautiful thighs. She must’ve been cutting when I was in the hospital with Krystal. I feel so guilty for making her think that I was cheating on her with my ex. I’d never do that to Faith, she’s my world, the only reason I get up in the mornings. Ever since I came back from Afghanistan darkness tries to consume me, but one look at Faith and it seems like my own demons are nonexistent. She heals me without even knowing it. I’ve never talked to her about the things that go through my mind about my deployments.
“Peach, I have to go to base for a while today. I have to fill out some paperwork for my medical discharge.”
“Medical discharge? What does that mean?” she asks me.
“Because of what happened I might be able to get out before my contract runs out. I have to see various counselors and doctors to ensure that I can no longer serve. I’m still not completely healed from the injuries. Even when I do, there are still the images that haunt me.”
“Wait, images? What are you talking about?”
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. It’s nothing I won’t be able to handle as long as you’re by my side.” I stress to her how important she is to me. I feel like she‘s slipping away from me and I need to ensure that doesn’t happen.
“Seth, I want you to talk to me about the things that bother you. I’m here for you, okay?”
“I will, I promise. I really have to get going now though. I can’t be late to these appointments. I love you, Peach.”
“I love you too, soldier.”
“Please don’t go anywhere without somebody with you, okay?” I need to know she’s safe while I’m gone.
“I’ll be here when you get back.” She is smiling but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I feel bad for leaving but I really have to get this paperwork done.
I’m halfway to base when I realize that I forgot some paperwork I needed to bring in. Fuck. I call my command to let them know that I’ll be late. They’re not happy and I know I will never hear the end of it.
Once I get back to the house I walk into the bedroom to see Faith randomly throwing clothes in a suitcase. What the fuck?
“What the hell are you doing?” Faith turns around – a shocked look on her face. She didn’t expect me. What in the world is she doing? “Are we going on vacation or something? What did I miss? Why are you packing your shit?” I’m close to yelling at her.
“I’m sorry, Seth. I can’t stay here. I need to get away.” Tears are filling her eyes.
“What do you mean you have to get away? I thought we were okay? Nothing happened with Krystal for fuck’s sake.”
“It’s not that. I can’t stay here where Cory will find me. I can’t risk it.”
“Cory?”
“My father.”
“And you think running is the solution? I won’t let anything happen to you, Faith. Why don’t you believe me?”
“Don’t you understand? He won’t only come for me. He’ll hurt anybody who is close to me. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you, Skye, Caige, Braden or Abby. I don’t care if he gets to me - it’s you I’m worried about. I don’t want to risk your safety. It’s better if I leave. Please trust me on this.”
“Fuck this. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, for us. I don’t want to be away from you. I can’t believe you’re even considering this. I promised you, I would keep you safe. I’m not scared of your dad. Do you know what I do for a living? I have killed people, Faith. I’m not proud of it, but it’s my job.” I run my hands through my hair in frustration. I don’t like reliving the things I did in Afghanistan, but it’s the truth.
“I can’t, Seth.”
“Do you really want to throw everything away? Everything you worked so hard for? Your job? Your friends? What about Aunt Martha? She adopted you and you just want to fucking run away. Help me out here because I really don’t get it.”
“Fuck you, Seth. I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing it for you all.”
“No you’re not. You’re being selfish. You’re scared he’s gonna get to us to hurt you. What about us? Don’t you think it’ll hurt us when you leave? Do you really want Abby to grow up only knowing her godmother from pictures? Do you want to throw your friendship with Skye and Caige away? Do you really want to throw away what you and I have?” I don’t get it. Why is she so fucking scared he will go after us? Caige, Braden and I are more than capable of protecting ourselves and our family.
“No. I don’t want that, but what other choice do I have? I can’t even go to work right now.”
“You do have another choice – stay here and let other people be there for you for once. Stop pushing the people that care about you away. We love you and we’ll do anything to keep you safe. I’d lay my damn life down to protect you.”
“That’s the problem. I’d rather live knowing that you’re out there somewhere than you not being here at all. What if he does harm you? What if he kills you? This is the shit that runs through my mind all day. Fuck. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist. I’m already cracked, but that would shatter me. I love you so much.” Closing the distance between us, I cup her face in my hands to make her quit talking. I hope she listens to what I’m about to say to her. I can’t and won’t lose her.
“You’ll never lose me, Peach. I’ll always be by your side. I promise you, he won’t hurt me. I won’t let him get that far. I mean it, Faith. You’re stuck with me. Now, how
about you stop packing your shit and come to base with me? I’m not letting you go anywhere. You’re not running away.”
“But Seth...”
“No buts. You’re not leaving. We will get through this together like we do with everything else. It’s you and me for the rest of our lives. The sooner you accept that the better.” I gently kiss her and lead her down to the car. I can’t risk her changing her mind. I’m not entirely sure she isn’t still trying to follow through with her plans. The whole situation explains her behavior in the last couple of days – the distance, the haircut, the desperation in her kisses. She was saying goodbye.
She is quiet throughout the drive and I let her get lost in her thoughts. I’ll have to talk to her later about what just happened. I need her to understand that running away is not the solution for her problems. It saved her once, but who’s to say it will again?
Faith waits in the car while I take care of my paperwork and talk to my counselor. I made her promise she wouldn’t try to leave again and when I get back she’s still in the car. So far, so good.
“I’m sorry, Seth. I shouldn’t have tried to run away. I’m scared shitless that something will happen to any of you. I wouldn’t be able to live with that. He can hurt me all he wants, but you? I can’t take it. I don’t want to run, but I feel like it’s the only solution.”
“Faith, promise me you won’t run. I need you. We’ll figure this whole mess out, but running is not the solution. Promise me.”
“I can’t.”
“Promise me.”
“Seth...” Her voice is shaky and tears are flooding her eyes.
“No, Faith. We’ll get through this. Together. Side by side. What else do you need me to do to show you that we’re in this together?” She looks up at me and I can see it click. She’s finally realizing I won’t let her run even if I have to babysit her 24/7. She’s not going anywhere.
“I really don’t have a choice, do I?”
“No, you don’t.”
“Fine, I promise I won’t run anymore.” I look into her eyes and see the sincerity of her words reflected in them. Maybe there’s hope after all.
“We need to talk about the cutting too, Peach. Don’t think I didn’t see the fresh cuts.” Faith looks up at me embarrassed.
“I didn’t know what to do. The night when you went to Krystal’s everything got too much for me to handle. I had a weak moment. I haven’t cut in years. I’m okay.”
“Baby, I need you to talk to me when things get too much to handle, okay? I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You’re stronger than that. I’ll be here to help you. Always.”
“Thank you, Seth. I’m so sorry for being stupid and thinking running away would fix everything. I don’t know what I was thinking. You have your own demons and have to constantly take care of me and my shit when I should be there for you. I’m so sorry.”
“Shhh... It’s okay. You’re here, that’s all that matters. As long as you stay with me, you’re going to be safe.”
“I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.”
“Good thing you’ll never have to find out.” I wink at her. A shy smile creeps up on her face and in that moment I know we will be okay.
“I thought about your idea about getting out of here for a while. Why don’t we head to Helen this weekend? Just you and I?”
“That sounds like a good idea. I just have to go to my appointments with my counselors this week and do some work on base, but I should be good to go on Friday around lunch. How does that sound?”
“Great. I think a change of scenery will be great for us.”
The next few days fly by and on Friday we are on our way to our little getaway. Helen is a small town in Georgia that is supposed to resemble a German town. I used to go there a lot with my grandparents when they were still alive. We would hike in the mountains and go tubing in the river. They would let me indulge on all kinds of sweets. I have fond memories of this place and I’m glad Faith picked Helen for our little vacation.
Faith’s eyes sparkle with excitement once we arrive. The houses are built in a classic south-German style to look like a replica of a Bavarian town. Tourists crowd the sidewalks while we head up to the rental we booked for the weekend. We pull up to the rustic cabin we’ll be staying in and Faith’s eyes light up even more. This was a great idea. I want her to forget about everything for a while. Reality will have us back sooner than I’d like.
“This place is amazing,” Faith states once we get inside of the cabin. It’s equipped with a fireplace, comfortable loveseats, a king size bed, huge TV and my favorite, a hot tub. My mind is running wild with the things I plan to do to Faith this weekend.
“What do you want to do first?”
“I’m kind of hungry. Skye told me I had to try Jägerschnitzel while I am here. She said it’s amazing. I can’t believe she never cooked it for me if it’s that good.”
“Haha. Let’s find a restaurant then.”
After lunch we walk around the town a little bit. We check out all the stores and I laugh at Faith as she buys more souvenirs and shirts than she can carry. Of course I end up carrying most of it for her. I don’t mind though. I haven’t seen Faith so carefree in a long time. It’s like someone took all her worries away from her. I pray to God I am that someone. I want her to understand that she’s always safe with me, no matter what it takes.
We spend the weekend zip lining, shopping, hiking, binging on amazing food and making love in all kinds of various places. I don’t think there is one place in the cabin that we didn’t scrutinize.
Once Sunday comes around we both aren’t ready to head back home and I am already planning on bringing her back here in the near future. We had such a blast. It was good seeing Faith happy without any worries for once.
We arrive back in Savannah after the long drive. Faith is on the phone while I carry our stuff into the house. I leave her to finish her conversation with Aunt Martha. When she doesn’t come inside after ten minutes I go looking for her.
The sight that greets me instantly makes my blood boil. A guy in his forties is grabbing her arm. The shock on her face is palpable. When I look closer I recognize some of Faith’s features in his face – it’s her father.
Chapter 20
Faith
My worst nightmare is coming true. He found me. I knew it was just a matter of time but I didn’t expect it this soon. I try to wrestle myself free from my father’s grip on my arm but he’s still stronger than I am. All of a sudden I’m back in my childhood house, weak, lost, broken. The emotions are cracking down on me. What the fuck am I gonna do? He’s going to kill me.
“Leave her the fuck alone. I’m calling the cops and you’ll go right back where you came from.” Seth is here. Shit. Cory’s going to hurt him too.
“Seth, leave. I don’t want him to hurt you too. Please, he can do whatever he wants to me, but I can’t bear the thought of something happening...” I’m not able to finish my sentence when I feel my dad’s grip loosen. Seth has him in a chokehold and is wrestling him to the ground. Cory doesn’t even try to fight him which is odd.
“You. Will. Never. Hurt. Her. Again,” Seth exclaims through gritted teeth when he finally has my father pinned to the ground.
“I’m not here to hurt her. I promise. I want to apologize.” Cory pleads with Seth.
“Why in the world would I believe that shit? You abused an innocent child. You broke her. She was so damn young and had no way to defend herself. You’re fucking lucky I’m not putting a bullet in your head right now.” I see the fury in Seth’s eyes. It’s scaring me. I don’t want him to do something stupid.
“Please... I deserve your hatred. I know what I have done. I live with the guilt every day of my life. I just want to say my part then I’ll be gone. I will leave her alone and never come back again. Please... Please just listen to me, Katherine.” He’s now addressing me.
“Her name is Faith. Not Katherine. She is not the girl she used to be anymo
re, the girl you made her. Don’t fucking dare talk to her or I’ll kill you right here.”
“I have a letter from your mother.” That gets my attention. How and why does he have a letter from my mom? What’s his game? I’m so fucking confused right now. One part of me is scared and just wants to run as far as I can while the other part wants to know if he’s being honest. Does he really have a letter from my mom? Why after all these years is she trying to contact me? Does she know what happened to me? All these thoughts are running rampant in my mind right now.
“Seth, let him say what he has to say. We can still call the cops after he’s done.”
Seth looks up at me angrily, but I know he won’t fight me on this. “Are you sure? Faith, you don’t owe him anything. You don’t have to listen to his shit.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to know about this letter. Bring him to the bench in our yard. One wrong movement, Cory, and I will push the call button.” I show him my phone where I have dialed 911. He nods in agreement.
Seth is leading Cory to the back of the house never letting go of his arms behind his back. I wish we had some other restraint but I guess Seth’s hold will have to do for now.
I brace myself before I follow them. I don’t know what to expect. All these years I knew he’d come back for me and now that he has I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t want him to have a hold on me any longer.
“You’re lucky that girl can snap her fingers and I’ll do whatever she asks or otherwise your ass would be dead right now. How fucking dare you come back?” I hear Seth say to my father as I round the corner. He’s livid. I can hear it in his voice and see it in the way he holds himself.
“Seth, it’s okay. I can handle it. What do you want, Cory?” I turn to talk to my sperm donor. I refuse to acknowledge him as my father. He needs to know that he is nothing to me.
“Katherine... Faith... First off... I’m so incredibly sorry about what I did to you. I realize that I’m a monster and you deserved none of the shit I did to you. Seth is right. You were an innocent child. I could bring up excuses for my behavior, but I won’t. I take full responsibility for my actions. If you decide to call the police tonight, I understand. I deserve it and I shouldn’t have come here, but I knew they’d tell you I was released. I want you to know you don’t have to fear me anymore. Once I leave tonight I will never bother you again. I’ll go back to Seattle and will live my life. I’m not asking you for forgiveness, I don’t deserve it. All I ask you is to be the strong girl that you always were. I always admired your strength. Even when your mom left, you didn’t let it stop you from being who you are. I admired it and envied it at the same time. I wish I would’ve had your strength to move on, to be the father you deserved. Instead I let all my anger get to me and took it out on you. I’ll never forgive myself, you were my little princess. You were always so happy and I took that from you. It killed me seeing the scars on your beautiful skin. But it was already too late. So I drank the guilt away and hurt you even more. Fuck. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you but I know you don’t want that. Please, Faith, I beg you, live on, be strong, allow yourself to heal.”
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