“Are you okay?” Wolf asked. “I saw…” everything. He’d seen everything. Fantastic. As if April and I ever needed an audience. “I’m sorry.” All I could do was stare, tears streaming down my face, as he knelt down and gathered my papers and put them in the correct folder for me. My heart hammered, pain coursing through me so fast, I wondered if it’d kill me.
Wolf stood and placed the folders and books neatly on the table. Then he held his hand out for mine, which I declined. Not for any other reason than because of bitterness. April’s hatred was infectious.
“What you saw, it’s not…it’s not what it seemed.”
He flinched. “Really? Because it seemed like your sister ripped you a new one. Undeservedly so.”
Even after what April said, I hated the thought of anyone thinking badly of her.
“Just stay out of it.” I gathered my books in my arms. “She’s my problem, not yours.”
“I know, I just, I don’t know, thought we could talk it out,” he said. In the deepest part of me, I felt guilty for walking away, but I knew I had to. Nothing good could possibly have come from that moment. Not when I felt like jumping off a bridge. I glanced at my watch, it was already time to go call my dad. What I’d say? I had no clue. But I knew I had to leave. Forever.
“Hi Dad, it’s me, Norah, your daughter. The one who only calls you once a week. The one you abandoned while you’re off enjoying Moscow. You promised you’d be there when I called.”
Tears swarmed my eyes. This can’t be happening. Why wasn’t he answering? He knew I was going to call at this time. It was scheduled! The recording ended and the voice rattled off options. I sucked back tears and when it gave me the chance to erase and re-record I said yes. There was no way I could leave that message.
“Hey dad, it’s me.” I cleared my throat and forced myself to sound happy and cheerful. “I guess we missed each other. I’ll call next week around the same time. I love—”
Click.
The phone sat in the receiver. I held my breath. The room fell silent and unnerving. No other voices haunted the tight air around me, yet I felt as if it’d shatter at any moment. After using my three chances to call him—in a row—Dad never answered. What the hell else could’ve been so freakin’ important that his daughter sat on the backburner? And worse of all, I would have to wait another week to talk to him. It’s not like I could have left a voicemail about the fairy tale freaks or my suicidal sister. He’d call about April and I was almost certain they’d lie, as they had to begin with.
This place was not good for us. No way, no how. But as always, I failed at getting him the truth. And failure seemed to be something I did an awful lot lately.
The chair groaned as I pushed back, my feet dragging across the room as if I had on ankle weights. The urge to drown my sorrows flourished within. Drinking wasn’t an option, not tonight. It didn’t feel right, plus, drinking out of sorrow wouldn’t help in the long run.
But I had to free my mind, I had to find peace but I didn’t want silence, didn’t want to be alone. The nightmare of my life had to disappear and fast. I felt like I was drowning, sinking, hardly able to breathe through my failings.
I wasn’t sure where I was headed until a dark brown door stared back at me. The first time Wolf took me to April’s dorm, he mentioned where his room was, not the exact location, yet somehow, I found it. The two slashes carved into the wood looked like haunting eyes. I knocked three times before the door opened.
Wolf stood in the doorway, shirtless. I sucked in a deep breath and drank in his smooth, washboard abs. Droplets of water trickled down from his damp, shaggy hair.
“Norah?” Wolf’s thick eyebrows peaked with interest.
“He didn’t answer.”
He shifted out of the way, allowing me to walk inside. His room was dim. The crimson curtains, thick and heavy, were pulled shut, keeping the setting sun from entering. The bed frame was made of thick wood, like something you’d find in a cabin. It had a deep, forest green comforter and tons of pillows.
“Who?”
“My dad.” I swallowed back my tears but it was no use. “I tried three times.” Why wasn’t he there? What could’ve been more important than me? But I already knew that answer, I always had. April thought he favored me, but he didn’t. I was the easier of the two. The more tolerable one. The one who never challenged him.
I sank into Wolf’s arms. He froze for a moment before stroking the tips of my hair, holding me so close the wetness of his skin stuck to my cheek, but I didn’t mind.
“I’m never going to be his number one, am I?”
We were always on the move, always going from one place to another because Dad was never happy staying still. Never happy settling in one place where we could build a life like a real family. And I followed him, ready to conquer the world because I didn’t want to be without him. Now I was. He’d abandoned me and didn’t have the decency to answer one phone call because wherever he was, was more important than me. His life was always more important than mine.
“I want to be good enough.” I murmured.
“I know,” he said. “I know.”
A weight pressed on my chest, tightening my stomach into a million knots. The truth was heavier than the lies I fed myself. But out here, in a place where I functioned on my own, I couldn’t lie any longer.
“I’ll never be.”
“You are.” Wolf untangled his arms from around me and cupped my chin, dragging it to meet his fierce gaze. “You’re better than him. Better than anyone. If he can’t see that, then he’s an idiot.”
My throat tightened as I bit on the inside of my mouth. Tingles spread over my skin as we stared at one another. His eyes silently telling me truths I longed to hear. Curling up on the balls of my feet, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you.”
I kissed him on the cheek, his scruff tickled my skin. We were eye-level now, my attention flickered to his lips. Without thinking, I brushed mine against his. A craving built inside me, begging for more than a simple peck.
Wolf’s eyes were shut, but they opened when I stopped, staring at me as if kissing him was the crime of the century. Like a warning, crimson streaked his irises. After all the hype, did he not want to be kissed? In the time we spent together, the red usually meant he was upset or angry. Please don’t be angry, I wasn’t sure if I could handle him hating me too.
“Are you mad?” I choked the words out, barely able to speak. My knees knocked against each other.
“Furious.”
Wolf slammed his mouth into mine, kissing me so hard, I gasped. If this was him furious, I loved it. His hands traveled through my hair and ran down my sides.
The comforter scratched against my exposed skin as his thick arms scooped me closer to him, propelling us backward. His hot mouth ran down my neck and to my chest. Excitement seared through me. I’d forgotten how amazing he kissed. My mind clicked off and all I felt was him on top of me, cradling me up so I could take my shirt off, kissing me like we were the only two people in this dreaded castle.
I tried to suppress a moan as his teeth raked along my neck but I couldn’t, it felt like my body was on fire and the harder he sucked, the more I wanted him, the more I needed him. My hands discovered the ridges of his body, the tone and definition in the muscles he hid so well under layers of clothes. My back arched and my hands slipped beyond the strap of his pants, exploring the outside of his boxers.
When I realized he had stopped kissing me, I looked up hazily and met his gaze. His thick brows furrowed and he panted. The flecks of red in his honey eyes darkened.
The mattress sank as he flopped beside me and stared at the ceiling. I did the same. Above us was a mural of the night sky—stars, a moon, even gray clouds and low fog. In the dim light of the room, the stars twinkled like they were real.
“You should go.” His voice was low.
“Why?” I sat up and stared at him. Not a single part of me wanted to leave. “I tho
ught we were having fun.”
He chuckled low. “We were. But I can’t hook up with you.”
A haunting feeling washed over me. He didn’t want me anymore. I was a conquest, something he fantasized about but didn’t like as much as the dream. I swallowed hard, feeling more rejected than I had when I came here.
“I get it.” Bending down, I fished around the clothes on the floor for my shirt, yanking it over my head to cover my shame. “You don’t want me.”
“What? No.” He grabbed a hold of my face and made me look at him. “It’s not about wanting you or not.”
“Yes it is.” I broke from his grasp and stood up, holding myself tight. “You hook up with girls all the time, but not me. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Wolf laughed and rose from the bed. I bit on my bottom lip, my heart hammering against my chest like a freight train. “You are nothing like them.”
I scowled. “Can’t you just, like, I don’t know, pretend I’m someone else?” Even as the words slipped out I cringed. The last thing I wanted was for him to imagine some other girl when he kissed me.
“As tempting as that might sound.” He backed me into the wall, a wolfish grin toying with his lips. At least he found me amusing while I wished I could die of irritation and embarrassment. “You’re the only one I think about.”
My attention stayed on his mouth when he spoke, remembering how his lips molded against mine. “Then I see no problem.” Closing the space between us, I kissed him slow, dragging my tongue over his bottom lip and nipping at it with my teeth.
He growled and in one quick movement, he pinned my arms back against the wall. “You’re killing me.” My stomach lurched into my throat and his head fell beside mine. Hot puffs of air beat against my shoulder and then on my hair as he breathed into my ear. “You need to go before I change my mind.”
“Isn’t that the point?”
He growled again, low. His nails scratched against the wall behind me, his grip tightening around my wrists. Our bodies were still close, so close I felt every movement he made against me. I wished he’d change his mind. Something was going on in his head, a war or a battle. Either way, as I placed gentle kisses on his bare shoulder I found joy in driving him crazy. His head tilted, ragged breaths hit my hair and I willed him to kiss me again. I felt his lips hovering above my skin. Do it. Kiss me.
“God, Norah, you have got to go.” He broke away from me. My body screamed, completely on fire for him from the top of my head to the tip of toes.
I nodded dizzily and as my hand closed around the doorknob, the weight of his fingers on my back stopped me. I turned to him.
“You know I want you, right?” His pleading eyes were deep crimson, sparkling with splashes of gold. So beautiful. I nodded and he kissed me once, slow and soft, and unlike any way I’d ever been kissed. He pulled back and the lazy grin I loved slithered over his mouth. “See you tomorrow, princess.”
My steps echoed throughout the quiet corridor. Torches lit the dark hallway, the flames dancing along the walls. After walking for a few minutes without seeing a single person, I broke into a sprint until I reached the door leading into the courtyard. The door rattled shut and outside the chilly night air welcomed me into the night.
The temperature had dropped ten degrees and with each exhale, I saw my breath. My teeth chattered as I entered the Hero dorm. The halls were much like the rest of the castle with old stories painted along the walls, with more focus on tales like Little Red Riding Hood, and Hansel & Gretel.
I couldn’t believe I made out with Wolf, again. Damn him and his abs, luring me in like a moth to a flame. Kissing him only temporarily muted the true pain in me. By the time I rounded the staircase my feelings about Dad and what happened with April came crashing into me like a flipping tidal wave.
Kate roomed alone in the top of the tower, which had been an attic at some point. The curtains were a pale, stained yellow, bleached from the light of the sun. The bed in the corner was too small, even for her, with a comforter that had to be twenty years old.
The wood floor creaked as I stepped inside. Her tired pale eyes softened at the sight of me, her shoulders relaxing until she saw my face.
“Norah? Are you okay?”
The tears from the weight of the day slipped out and dampened my face. Her thin arms embraced me. I couldn’t believe how the night had turned. The realization that I wasn’t as important to Dad as I thought I was, then Wolf. God, Wolf. Guys complained all the time about girls, how we’re so confusing and emotional and hard to understand, but guys were bad too. Wolf was bad.
Moisture soaked my face as I broke away from Kate and sat cross-legged on the edge of her bed. She did the same. Her stringy blonde hair had curled on the ends from sleeping and her bed was a mess.
“Sorry for waking you up,” I whispered. “I didn’t want to go back to my room.” A blanket sat on the floor beside the bed. She leaned over and draped it over her frail shoulders. “My dad didn’t answer.”
“I’m sure there’s a good explanation,” Kate said. There probably was or he’d forgotten about me. Out of sight, out of mind. Kate’s stared at me, her eyes focused on the side of my neck and widened. “What is that?” Propping up on her knees, she leaned forward. My hand flew to the spot and I cringed from the pain of pressing in. What the hell.
“Is that a hickey?”
Beside the bed was a nightstand, Kate opened the door and fumbled around until she found a mirror—which she handed to me.
“Nooo…” I gasped at the quarter-sized bruise forming on the side of my throat. But I didn’t have one; I had three in the same vicinity. Omigosh. Sweat formed over my palms and the once cold room felt warm and sticky.
“I did something bad.” The only thing worse than almost hooking up with him was how bad I had wanted to. How much I tried to pressure him into it.
“How bad?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Wolf and I, we, um…” Not only did I want to have sex with him, I had three marks on my neck to prove it. Fan-freakin-tastic.
“Wow.” She breathed. “Was he good?”
Using the pillow beside me, I smacked her arm. “Kate!” Asking if he was any good was the last thing I thought she’d say.
“What? I want to know. I’ve actually always wondered about him. I know he’s experienced, but no one really says if he’s good or not.” She shrugged with a slight smile. “So, was he?”
The loose springs in her mattress poked in my back as I groaned and fell back on the bed. “Yes, he was great.”
“Just great?” The humor in her voice ticked me off.
“He was amazing, is that what you want to hear?” I replayed the last hour, the way his hands pinned me to the wall. I wanted to kiss him even harder. I still did. That had to mean something. “He was so good, I tried to sleep with him but he turned me down. At least one of us was thinking.”
“By the look of your neck, he wasn’t thinking too much.” She giggled. I smacked her again. “Ouch! Stop hitting me.”
“Stop picking on me and help. How am I supposed to cover this up? I don’t want anyone seeing it.”
Kate flipped onto her stomach and eyed my neck, thinking for far too long.
Tension built in my throat, making my bones ache, and most importantly the throbbing bruise on my neck from Wolf. Wolf. I licked my lips, the taste of his smoky mouth still lingering on mine. No one could find out about this. People knowing meant I had to decipher what tonight meant and how I felt. I wasn’t ready for that yet. The truth was, I went to Wolf because he knew what it’s like to have shitty parents and I trusted him. I trusted him with a side of me I hadn’t trusted anyone with. That scared me. A lot.
Kate shuffled across the room to the one dresser she owned. The top drawer opened with little effort and she pushed the contents aside till she found a thick brown scarf. She tossed it at me. “Ice should help but you’ll still need to cover it up.”
“Thanks. I owe you.”
“G
ood because I’m ready to collect.” Kate sat back down beside me and crossed her legs. “Tell me everything, beginning to end.”
I’d never had a hickey before. Well, that was a lie. Once in seventh grade when I made out with Rick Valdez in the back of the roller rink while other couples slow-skated. But his was nothing compared to the monster Wolf left on my neck. He really was an animal, wasn’t he? Since I wore very little make-up, I had to wait for Danielle to leave so Kate could come over with concealer. The thick goop stuck to my fingers like silly putty.
“This is never going to work,” I argued while dabbing it over the bruises. She handed me a wet rag to wipe my hands, then took control with the make-up, putting some powder over the top to suck in the moisture. “I should take a sick day.”
Kate snorted. “These are so hardcore. They could last for weeks.”
“Oh, god. I’m going to kill Wolf when I see him!”
“Or make out with him again.”
I resisted the urge to smack her, especially since I promised I wouldn’t after gushing out the details of my “experience” with Wolf. She seemed more excited by it than I was. Which led me to my next conclusion; I had to find her a boyfriend. Perhaps I’d see if one of Wolf’s friends were interested. I flinched at the thought and decided against it. Did Wolf even have guy friends?
Most of the day was uneventful, though I did notice more staring than usual, making me so self-conscious that I checked myself in the mirror a hundred times to make sure between the makeup, the scarf, and my hair down, you couldn’t see the marks.
The only time I ran into trouble was in combat class. I had to take my scarf off but refused to tie my hair back, which kept blocking my vision. It was then I decided those scenes in movies where girls play sports and/or sword fight or do any kind of combat at all with their hair down is totally fake. I tripped twice and almost fell on my sword. The entire class, Finn eyed me curiously, asking me if I was okay. Each time I muttered something stupid and mostly incoherent and started fighting again.
The Forgotten Fairytales Page 11
