I felt numb, my whole body burned with adrenaline as my chest heaved with harsh breaths. It was as if I were no longer in my own body, it was as if I were floating above my own body and watching without a care or feeling. There was no pain, there was only the thundering sound of my beating heart that rang through my ears, painfully so.
A scream pulled me from my hazy trance as I tried to grasp what the hell had just happened, I had no idea who screamed, was it me? Was I hurt? I opened my eyes truly for the first time in ten years, I thought nothing could petrify me more than what I went through with my father, but right now, I could feel the same terror as I watched blood trickle down the blade of the knife. The knife that was in my hand, the knife I had used.
"You fucking bitch!" Jack screamed, the pain in his voice making me turn to face him.
Oh. My. God.
Jack's right leg was pouring with blood, it was everywhere: his hands, his jeans, his boots, the floor. He desperately tried to stop the blood that was gushing from the knife wound on his leg. But I couldn't react, I couldn't think, I couldn't move.
I slowly turned my gaze to Angel, who now sat on the ground, propped up against the opposite wall. His breathing had evened out and color had come back to his defined cheek bones, but they were now covered in tears. He looked deflated, pained, and broken; he looked nothing like the man I thought I knew.
"Dad?" Angel whispered, his voice hoarse and shaky.
"This is your fucking fault! You piece of shit, you did this." Jack roared as he turned to his son. "You were never supposed to be born. What the fuck are you even doing here?"
Jack's face was multiple shades of red as he screamed at his son, trying to stop the flow of blood at the same time. All I could do was stare and watch Angel break further, not knowing whether the situation was breaking him or his father's words. Either way, Angel was shattering in front of me and no matter what he had done or what secret he had kept, I wasn't going to let my fallen Angel plunge into the darkness.
"Stop it! Just stop!" I screamed at Jack. "He is your son, how dare you speak to him like that!"
"What, are you serious? The fucker ruined everything, you are supposed to be bleeding out right now but instead it's me!" Jack screeched, the pain evident on his face as his lips formed into a tight line on his face.
"Say another word about him like that and I will gut you," I said in a slow determined voice.
I had no idea what had come over me or where the hell this confidence had come from, but I was grabbing it with both hands, I needed to protect him from his own demon.
"Neva, don't." Angel's voice soft and smooth like velvet, despite the pain.
"Listen to your piece of shit boyfriend, princess." Jack smiled as he glanced at Angel, winking at him.
Rage hammered through my body at a furious pace, chipping away at the little restraint I had left. Suddenly, I was charging towards Jack, my steps hard and fast as my body twisted with every move I made. Jack's face was a picture of fear as I reared my arm back, tightening my grip around the knife, still covered in his blood. I watched as Jack's eyes bore straight through me as if waiting for the blow, he knew it was coming and wasn't going to hide from it.
Chapter Four
Logan
“Dude, the cops told us to wait for them!” Tate yelled as I jumped out of the truck.
“I’m not waiting, Tate,” I deadpanned.
I needed to find her. It was the only thing that was running through my mind, keeping me grounded, stopping me from running into an unbreakable fit of rage. Turning hard, I threw myself into a run. I Spotted the house she said she was at. I turned my head as I made my way up to the porch, spotting Tate sheepishly get out of the truck.
“Christ,” I whispered through panting breaths.
We knew who was in there, we knew who had threatened her. It was him, the man who fucking broke her by breaking apart her family. I could see the desperation on Tate’s face, he was torn. He loved his sister, she was the one thing that kept him firmly on the straight and narrow. I couldn’t count the times I saw his shoulders shudder with silent tears, he never even knew I was watching. But, I did, every time. His father’s death had broken them both, but what Tate had to deal with and witness when he was a child tore him in two.
He was reluctant to go in there and face the man who had broken everything, I understood it. But at the same time, he was clearly desperate to get to his sister.
I reached the door, but swiftly realized it was locked when I jiggled the handle. Shit. Scanning the house, I tried to spot an open window or a side door. I couldn’t see any. Running around to the back porch, I spotted the door that lead out to the back yard. Trying the door, I breathed a sigh of relief when I it click open. Thank fuck.
I was going through the motions in my head. Find her, grab her, and get her out. Nothing else was important. I knew the temptation would be there to kill the bastard hurting her, but she doesn’t need that. She needs to be taken away from it.
As I walked through the small kitchen, I listened for anything that would clue me in to where they were. I couldn't hear anything. I made my way through the hallway, peeking my head around the door of the living room on my way. There was no one in there, but on the coffee table sat three mugs of still-warm coffee. Someone was definitely here. Turning around, I took a step towards the staircase when something caught my eye. It’s a photograph. Standing with a beautifully put-together woman, was him. Angel. His eyes were just as blue, but they look sad and hollow.
"You fucking bitch!"
My heart hammered against my chest as I heard the fucker's scream. Scanning my eyes around the hallway, I spotted a door underneath the stairs. My entire body went numb as I threw open the door and ran down a set of stairs, crashing my body through another door at the bottom.
Jesus H. Christ.
My heart fell out of my ass. Neva was charging towards an injured man with so much damn assurance it’s frightening. She has a fucking knife, and the guy’s leg was spitting out blood through his fingers. Shit. I needed to stop her.
“Neva! Put the knife down,” I said in a calm but firm voice.
She froze, her whole body became rigid and tense as she whispers my name. I had to swallow the lump that suddenly made itself at home in my throat. Jesus.
“Put the knife down, baby.” I whisper in the voice that always has been for her. “Sweetheart, put it down. It’s okay.”
My heart shattered as sobs broke through her beautiful lips. Her body shuddered violently, the knife dropping from her fingertips as she all but fucking broke into tiny pieces in front of me. My legs moved of their own accord. Her fragile body weakened and started to fall. And I don’t think I was breathing.
She dropped down onto her hands and knees before I could get to her, the sobs breaking through the eerie silence in the room. I blocked everything out, my focus solely on her. She looked so small, so fucking breakable, as I dropped to my knees beside her. I gently wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her towards me; her cold, wet body softly lulls against mine. And this is where I am supposed to be. Wrapped around her, loving only her.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I love you, Neva. Fuck, I love you so damn much."
The words spill from my lips as the last of my control finally disappears. She's safe. She's with me. She's mine. The room quickly filled with cops and paramedics, but I heard them before I saw them. My eyes never left hers, not once.
“You came.”
Her voice was husky and sounded painful. Christ, what has he done to her? Her eyes were fluttering, as if she was falling asleep. I needed to keep her awake. I slowly rained soft kisses across her beautiful face, careful not to hurt her. Her body responded immediately to my touch, covering her head to toe in goosebumps. I trailed my lips from her swollen red cheeks to her ear, hoping to god she will understand me.
“I will always find you, Neva. Always.”
Chapter Five
Neva
Anti
septic. I could smell it, I could taste it, I could feel it. It's harsh and potent against my nostrils, stinging my eyes even though they weren't open. My eyelids felt swollen and heavy as if paralyzed by a weight that won't let up, keeping me suspended in the dark. I wanted to open my eyes, but the more I tried, the more the darkness pulled me under, casting its black blanket over my fragile body.
I could hear a noise beside my head, but I couldn't move to see what it was.
Beep … Beep … Beep.
The noise was continuous, a steady pace that softly hummed to my ears. Lulling me into a sense of calm that I hadn't felt for so long that it pulls at a knot in my chest, but the knot isn't painful, it's soothing. As if someone were singing to me softly while gently plucking the strings of a guitar, it feels warm and comfortable. I could feel the blanket tightening around my body, the more I listen, the more I fall.
"We will fix this, we will fix her."
I could hear him, I could hear Logan. I tried to speak, tried to ask him what was going on but nothing came out. My lips were numb and heavy, and all I wanted to do was speak to him, see him. I just wanted to be held, desperately. Nothing was making sense, where am I? What was going on? I couldn’t move, I couldn’t move a single limb.
"Oh, my beautiful girl. What did he do to you?"
Mom? My mom was here? I tried to move my tongue in my mouth, but it wouldn't move. I wanted to scream out and ask why I was so numb and heavy, but at the same time weightless. I tried to move my fingers, nothing. My feet, nothing. Why was I feeling like this?
I was suspended in a world that I was neither in nor out of, a world full of pain and anguish. I was in limbo, not able to find the direction I needed to walk towards. I felt nothing, no pain, no trauma, no guilt. I wanted so much to stay in limbo, but at the same time would give anything to be back to where I need to be, where I wanted to be, where I should be. But limbo was slowly fading into black as the blanket constricted and tightened around me. I was falling into a deep, dark hole with no indication of it ending. Just like my nightmares.
Chapter Six
Logan
"Lorena, the doctors said she would be fine. They have given her enough pain relief so she can get some rest, her body and mind need to heal," I whispered as I hold Lorena tight.
The night has been long, so fucking long. Doctors had been waking in and out of the room for the past, shit, I didn't even know how long. Time seemed to just stop the moment I answered Neva's call. The call that I would never be able to erase from my memory.
Would she be okay? Shit, I had no fucking idea if she was going to be okay, emotionally anyway. She had been through so damn much over the past ten years that I didn't know if she would ever come back from this, I didn't know if she would be the same Neva that I fell in love with. The same Neva who broke my damn heart.
"How did this happen?" Lorena asked in a shaky voice as she wiped away her tears.
Christ, question of the year. How the hell was I going to tell Lorena about this? It would break her, it could break this whole damn family apart. I didn't want to tell her; how the hell did I tell her the man her daughter fell in love with used her so his scumbag father could beat the living shit out of her? How did I tell her that I could have prevented it all if I hadn't walked away from her?
It was painful enough holding Neva in my arms, broken and shattered.
"I don't know," I lied. "I don't know, Lorena."
As I held her close, my gaze landed on Neva, her face battered and bruised from the torture of what that fucker did to her. I quickly blinked away tears that threatened to fall as I took in the extent of her injuries, her bandages and her still body.
Fuck, the sick bastard had done a real number on her, using her like a damn punching bag. Christ, I never wanted to hurt someone so much in my life; what I would give for a few minutes with him, to let him feel just an ounce of the pain Neva went through.
"I'm going to get some coffee, do you want anything?" Lorena asked as she pulled away.
I had always been close to Tate and his family. Shit, he was like a damn brother to me, stepping in when my own stupid fuck of a father left me. Lorena became my second mom, letting me practically live at her house over the school holidays and weekends when I was a kid. She's an amazing woman and I was so glad that Neva had someone to lean on other than Tate and Low.
Looking at Lorena, I could tell the stress of all this was taking its toll, she hadn't slept. We all hadn't slept, those damn hospital chairs were so freaking uncomfortable that every muscle in my body ached. But it was Lorena who was having the hardest time; she had to watch as her husband’s body turned black and blue from the car wreck ten years ago, and now she's doing the same with Neva. No mother should have to see that.
"No, I'm good. Go and get some coffee and some rest, Lorena," I said softly. "I will be right here with her, she won't be on her own. I promise."
A small smile crept across her face, I knew she's worried about Neva being all alone in this room and if she woke up, we all knew she would freak out. She hated hospitals, ever since that day.
"You will make a woman very happy one day, Logan," she whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek before leaving the room.
"Yeah..." I sighed, even though she wouldn't hear me.
Turning to the seat beside Neva's bed, I sighed again, I really didn't want to sit in that damn thing but I wasn't leaving her side.
"You know you are totally paying for this when you wake up, right? Jesus, my back is going to be like a sixty year old's," I whispered to her, wondering if she could actually hear me. "Fuck, Neva. I really hope you can hear me, just so I can tell you just how damn much I love you."
I raked my hands through my hair as I slowly sat down, looking around the room, it's white. All freaking white. She was going to flip out when she wakes up. Thank fuck there weren't any damn flowers on the walls, the number of times I heard her counting the petals in her nightmares was enough to know that would completely freak her out.
The room was pokey and small with only one window and a small en-suite, we were put in a side room for privacy. Well, that’s what they said, but I knew it's so the cops could question her when she finally wakes up. The officer standing outside the room totally gave it away, idiots. I didn't know what the hell they were going to ask her. I mean, shit! She was tied up in a house while Jack beat her to a bloody pulp, for Christ's sake. What the hell was there to ask?!
I slowly sat back into the chair, mindful of the pain in my back from the hard seat. I took a large breath before slowly releasing it. I couldn't keep my eyes open much longer, I was so exhausted that it hurt. My eyes drifted closed, and I was back in the room where I found Neva charging towards the monster who destroyed her.
"Neva, talk to me baby. Please, stay awake," I beg.
Her eyes fluttered closed only seconds ago, but it feels like hours. The room is finally illuminated as the paramedics swiftly take charge of her. I'm not letting her go. My hands are tight around her small body, no amount of persuading could make me loosen my grip on her.
"Neva, please. Wake up, baby," I whisper.
There is blood on her face, dried and stuck to her like a second skin. I just want to clean her up and find the beautiful face I know is underneath the layer of pain. My eyes gaze down the length of her body, trying to assess her injuries. But I know the worst of her injuries are going to be the ones on the inside, the ones that aren't always clear.
"Sir, we need to get her into the back of the ambulance."
A female paramedic crouches into my eye line, her face full of sympathy as I tighten my hold around Neva. I can't let her go. I shake my head. I want to hold her in my arms, to soothe her, to warm her, to love her. Only her.
The paramedic looks at me with sad eyes. Neva is unconscious, that much I know. I know she needs to go to the hospital, but I'm not ready to let go of her yet.
"I'll carry her," I say, pulling her closer so I can get my balance to stand up.
The paramedic doesn't protest, it's clear I'm not leaving her side. Thank god. I manage to get to my feet with her in my arms. Her fragile body lulls against my chest. My heartbeat is wild and frantic as we walkout of the house, but I feel grounded by her heart beating steadily against my chest.
The sun had set since entering the house, leaving the sky a beautiful mixture of reds, pinks and purples. As I walk out of the house, I spot all of the cars outside. It looks like the entire police force responded. From the corner of my eye, I spot Jack being put into the back of an ambulance in cuffs, his son getting into a separate one.
"Oh, my god. Baby girl."
Tate Is quickly by my side as I make my way over to the ambulance that will take her to the hospital, the pain of what he is seeing evident on his face. Jesus, he looks completely fucking broken. Standing at the back of the ambulance, I haul us both into the back. Placing Neva on the gurney, I stumble back as paramedics go to work on her. They insert IV drips, and place an oxygen mask on her face.
I can feel my world crumbling as I try to stand up straight. My hand lands on a flat surface, the only thing keeping me up right.
"Sir? Will you be coming with her?"
I flick my gaze to Tate, who looks like he's about to fucking break into millions of pieces. Before I can even get the words out that I want him in the back with her, he shakes his head.
"No, you go. I need to call Mom." His features are hard, even though I know this isn't going to be easy for him. His relationship with his mom is hard, it has been for a long time.
"Tate, she is your sister," I protest. I want to be in the ambulance with her, but it's not my place.
"And you’re the man she loves," he whispers, pulling out his phone and making a call. "Go," he mouths at me.
She loves me?
"Sir, we need to go. Now," the paramedic says, breaking my thoughts.
Finding Me (Bad Boy #2) Page 4
