I waited. Watching as tears formed in her eyes, biting into her bottom lip with her teeth to keep it from quivering. She couldn’t grasp it. I have to show her.
I slowly took her hands in mine and stood up from the bed. My eyes searched the room for something, anything for me to show her. Then I saw the mirror. I walked backwards and pulled her with me, hoping she'd follow. She did.
I stopped just in front of the mirror and turned around, pulling her in front of me; I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, down her arms, leaving my hands on her waist, and rested my head on her shoulder while I held her close.
"Take a good look, Neva," I whispered into her ear. "I want you to see what I see. I want you to see exactly why I fell in love with you, and why I will never, ever stop. Can't stop."
Her delicious chocolate brown eyes stared right into mine through the mirror, her lips parted slightly on a gasp. My front is to her back as we gaze into the full length mirror in front of us.
“This.” I trailed my fingers over the curve of her waist towards the very edge of her hidden-from-sight right breast. “This curve right here, makes my heart pound.”
I watched her as she took in every movement with fascination. Her eyes widened as my fingers started their journey up towards her throat, her neck.
“Jesus, and this?” I lightly pressed my lips against her soft silken skin, right underneath her ear. “This, could quench any dehydrated man of his thirst.”
I suddenly noticed her skin was covered with goosebumps. I knew I had her attention now.
My fingers started, slowly, to trail up toward her temple. I lingered, waiting for the soft gasp I knew would escape those gorgeous lips. I lazily drew a circle against her temple, knowing it would drive her crazy. She gasped. There it was.
“But here?” I whispered into her ear. “I fell in love with your mind, before I even thought about falling in love with your body.”
I felt her knees buckle from my words. I quickly curled my left arm around her tiny waist, and continued with my exploration. My fingers slowly took in the contours of the beautiful skin on her cheek, before sliding down slowly to her full lips.
“Christ, these …” I paused, running my index finger across her bottom lip, “can make my knees give out with just a whisper.”
A moan escaped her mouth, and her head leaned back against my shoulder. I was practically holding her up just by her waist. I pulled her even closer, no doubt she could feel me against the back of her thigh.
“But what I love the most?” I slowly rained kisses along the skin of her delicate neck. “Is with a kiss, you can completely turn my world upside down, and inside out.”
I moaned as her unique scent filled my senses. She smells like the sea, always like the sea. My fingers caressed the back of her neck before sliding into her soft brown locks. Gripping tightly, I turned her face towards mine. I needed to see her. I needed her to understand exactly what I am about to do.
“I want to kiss you so bad,” I whispered, staring straight into her half-mast eyes.
I was waiting for her to come to her senses and push me away. I was waiting for her to order me out of the room and to never speak to her again. I held my breath, waiting for her to answer. Seconds rolled by. My heart pounded against my chest and my head spun from the lack of oxygen I deliberately starved from my body.
“Then kiss me,” she whispered breathlessly.
I sucked in the air my body so desperately needed. My eyes roamed her face before my mind finally registers what she said.
“Then kiss me.”
So, I did.
Our lips met, and my world turned completely on its head. I run my tongue slowly across her plump bottom lip, silently begging for entry into her mouth. She softly moaned against my mouth, and I swear I felt it rip right through my body and straight to my crotch. Jesus.
Her lips parted and I took her mouth hungrily. I was like a god damn man starved and she's my last meal. Our tongues danced together, slow and sure, like we have never been apart. The sensations of her have addicted me: tasting of sweet vanilla, yet the smell of a fresh ocean breeze. Jesus.
I’m suddenly aware of her hands against my skin. Her hands are so warm, they engulf my entire body in flames. She explored my abs with her right hand, while her left trailed patterns at the bottom of my back. I groan as her hand travels higher and scrapes against one of my nipples. Shit.
I missed her touch so severely, and was desperate to pinch myself to see if this was real. She was in my arms, kissing me. I’m in heaven. I felt her moan against my lips as I tightened my hold around her waist. Then I moaned as she pulled my bottom lip between her teeth. Oh fuck me sideways. I was so hard I thought I might pass out from the lack of blood flow to the rest of my body.
“Fuck. I have missed you, so much,” I whispered.
She pulled me even closer to her body. Our bodies were lined up against each other, from our chests to the very tips of our toes. Suddenly, I was even more desperate than before. I needed to be inside her. I need her.
“Oh god, Logan,” she moaned as my hand traveled to her ass and squeezed tightly.
“I know, baby.”
And suddenly I can't be close enough, nowhere near close enough. She has too many clothes on. I need her bare. Reluctantly I pulled away from the heat of her mouth and her soft lips. I need her to be with me on this.
“Neva, I need you to understand exactly what I'm about to do.”
Her eyes were still lowered with passion, highlighting her beauty further. Jesus, it hurt to look at her. My hands moved from around her waist and ass, up to her neck. I cupped the soft skin of her face and stared into those never ending chocolate eyes. Waiting for her to stare back at me.
“Neva, I need you with me, baby,” I said on a shaky breath. “No more running. Please, don’t run from me.”
Her eyes widened in surprise and locked onto mine. Fuck, she is gorgeous.
“I don’t think I could ever run from you, Logan,” she said in a sure voice.
I believed her. Her eyes never wavered as the words fall from her mouth. I was completely hooked, lined and completely fucking sunk.
“I love you,” I whispered.
I moved in closer, ready to take her lips once again, when out of nowhere she completely floored me.
“I love you too.”
I think I had stopped breathing.
I stood there like an idiot. Her lips were inches away from mine, so close I can feel her breath caress my lips. But too stunned to move. My brain can't think of a logical thing to say, and when I open my mouth, I said possibly the most idiotic thing I could think of.
"Sorry, run that by me again?"
She laughed quietly, as if what I just heard finally fall from her lips didn’t even happen. My head was dizzy and I'm sure I was about to fall on my ass. Then she opened those beautiful lips one more time.
“I love you too, Logan.”
My. Fucking. God.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Neva
I watched as a slow smile crept across Logan’s face as he took in what I just said. I love him; there's no doubt in my mind about my love for him. I just hoped I don’t take him into the pits of hell with me.
“Logan?” I whispered.
He hadn’t said anything since I told him that I loved him. He was completely still, staring at me. But, when my eyes flickered to his, I'm just as immobile as he is. He's staring right at me. No, not at me. Through me, seeing through all the layers of pain, of hurt of guilt. He was seeing through everything and finally seeing me.
“He has been here,” he said, shaking himself out of the long stare.
“Who has been here?” I asked, confused.
He stepped towards me, pulled me flush to his body again. My skin engulfs in goosebumps from his warm touch: reacting to him, needing him, loving only him. He bends down and traced his tongue slowly across my lips. I moaned.
“He has been here,” he whispered, before mo
ving slowly down to the collar of my shirt. “He has been here too.” He licked around the collar and engulfed my body in heat.
Then it clicked. He was talking about Angel. Angel had touched me in the places he was licking right now. My body heated further as I realized he is making his mark on me, an invisible mark only I would see, feel and love.
He dropped to his knees in front of me, pulling up my shirt and exposing the flesh of my stomach. He dipped his head and slowly rained kisses along the waistband of my jeans, before going to my zipper and giving it one swift lick across the seam.
“Even here,” he whispered, so quietly.
I trembled. My knees locked and I quickly reached out and ran my fingers through his hair, grabbing tight and not letting go. He words penetrated me and I wanted him to carry on leaving his mark.
“Then make him leave.”
As soon as the words left my lips, he was on me. Grabbing my by the waist, he pulled me up and placed me onto his lap. I never once let go of him. I don’t think I could ever let go of him. We didn't move, we just basked in the feeling of being in each other’s arms again.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, placing his hands underneath my shirt, running his hands along my bare skin. "Every single piece of you."
"Make him go away," I told him and pulled him towards my lips.
His lips slowly caressed my own, a kiss that warms me right through to my bones. His kiss was slow and full of promise, and I couldn't help but moan as he traced the length of my bottom lip with his tongue. I opened for him, giving him the permission to explore my mouth with his tongue.
He took my mouth, explored it, loved it, claimed it. Suddenly we moved, and I felt the soft surface of my bed against my back as he leaned over me. He positioned himself between my legs, and my body heated to the point of no return. I wanted him, I needed him, I loved him.
I could only watch with bated breath as he ran his fingers along the waistband of my jeans, his fingertips moving higher and higher towards to my bra underneath. He dipped his head and brought his lips to the skin around my rib cage, and nipped playfully. I moaned as my shirt moved higher and higher with each movement he made, making my head spin and my skin hum.
His hands reached my breasts, pushing my shirt over my bra. Dipping his head again, he placed a single lingering kiss on each of my breasts; first the left, then the right. I trembled as the warmth of his lips took hold of every nerve ending in my body.
"God," I whispered through a moan.
"No, just me, baby." He laughs against my breast.
I squirmed, I couldn't keep still. I was desperate for him, for us. He snaked his arm around my back and lifted me from the bed, pulling my shirt over my head in one swift move. He tentatively placed his right hand over my right breast and squeezed gently, pulling a soft moan from my lips as I let my head drop back between my shoulders.
"Jesus," he whispered, squeezing my breast a second time. "So damn perfect."
His hand slowly moved from my breast, around to my back. I felt the release of my bra as he unclasped the strap, slowly moving back around and sliding the straps down my arms. My nipples puckered at the small chill in the air, hardening even more Logan drank me in.
My bra was thrown on the floor, followed by his shirt. I watched as each defined muscle flexed with his movements, his abs twisting and becoming more defined as he moved back towards me.
"I love you," he said quietly, staring at me right in the eyes.
"I love you too."
His sexy smirk took over his lips before he brought them to my nipple. Kissed, sucked, licked and nibbled his way from the right to the left. I moaned from the pleasure that shot right through to my aching core.
In an instant, my jeans were on the floor, the only thing separating him from being inside me were my panties. At some point he had taken his jeans and tight black boxers off, and now held a condom wrapper between his teeth. He raised his brow and smirked. How was it possible he could make a condom wrapper look sexy?
Leaning down, he placed the other edge of the condom in my mouth. Copying his movements, I wrapped my teeth around it. In one slow movement, he pulled against the wrapper, ripping it in two. Pulling back slightly, he took the wrapper from my mouth and took the condom from it, discarded wrapper on the floor long with our clothes. He took his time, with slow measured movements he pulled the condom along his hard length, a low groan escaping his lips. Once he was completely sheathed, he cocked his brow one last time before grabbing my waist, pulling my core to his awaiting mouth.
With my panties still on, he ran his tongue down my center and hummed against me.
"I need in, baby. I need to love you."
"God, yes," I panted.
I was beyond desperate for him, I wanted him to know just how much I loved him, just how sorry I really was. He took my panties, and in one slow, measured pull, he ripped my them right down the seam, the lace fabric unable to resist his charm and strength.
Pulling my waist towards him, he stopped just as I felt the tip of him against me. I moaned, I quivered and I all but begged for him to push inside. But he didn't, he stayed right where he was.
"Tell me you love me, baby," he said, running those slow, lazy circles in the soft skin of my thighs.
"I love you," I whispered.
"Tell me you'll never run from me," he whispered, pushing the first inch inside me.
"I would never run from you." I moaned.
"Tell me that that you're mine."
Another inch, another moan, another spine tingling shiver.
"I'm ... I'm ... Oh, god." I groaned as he plunged deep inside of me.
He suddenly stilled, groaning as he stopped his movements. I panted so hard that it echoed all around us. Jesus.
"Tell me." He grunted, thrusting slow but hard.
"Yours ... holy shit! I'm yours!" I shouted as he picked up the pace.
He smiled. Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against mine. His eyes were staring right into mine as he thrust inside me. Taking me, claiming me and loving me.
"I love you so much." He captured my mouth with his.
"Jesus," I whispered. I felt a slow burn building inside of me, so close to erupting. "I love you. I love you. Shit, I love you." I moaned loudly.
He made love to me in a deliciously slow pace. Our moans molded together as he thrust and I met him every time. Suddenly he grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my head, holding me down as he loved me with each measured stroke. My legs started to quiver, the rest of my body following suit. I quickly wrapped my thighs around his waist, giving him a better angle and pushing my pleasure up ten-fold.
With one angled stroke of his hips, he thrust inside me, pushing me right into ecstasy and pulling his name from my lips. With two more hard thrusts, he called out my name and stilled inside of me.
After a couple of minutes we both get our breath back. Pulling out, he took off the condom and threw it into the trash can beside the bed. I was exhausted, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Logan lay down beside me and pulled me against his chest, spooning me from behind.
I closed my eyes, and fell into an uninterrupted sleep for the first time in months. We had a long way to go, each of us have hurt the other in more ways than we could have possibly imagined. I have hurt him over and over again, and I planned to make it up to him for as long as he will have me.
It’s funny how not so long ago, I thought I was just existing, not living. I had been living, I always have. I live because of Logan, I live for Logan and I wouldn’t be here in his arms without him. Time was something I wanted to get some control over, thinking that if you were just existing, then time would just slowly pass you by. But, I have come to realize, time will pass you by either way. It’s about what you do with that time that is the most important thing of all.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Logan
3 Months Later...
I smiled as I look around the table, taking a long pull of m
y beer. Everyone was here: Tate, Low, Dex, Trix, even the twins. But the one person I can't take my eyes off is her, Neva. She's laughing and joking with Dex, while holding onto my hand underneath the table with her vice-like grip.
"Baby, if you don't let up on my hand, it might just fall off," I whispered to her, making sure no one else hears me.
"Oh, sorry," she replied quietly, pulling her hand out of mine.
I took hold of her hand and squeezed it gently in my own. I knew she was nervous, I didn't want her to feel any more nervous than she should be. The road to here has been bumpy; like any relationship, we have our ups and downs. Neva is still seeing her therapist, but is doing well. She has come to terms with the fact that her father's death wasn't her fault. The nightmares are still there, still pulling her in and keeping a chokehold on her, but they are becoming less and less frequent.
The morning after we decided to trust each other, I asked her to move in with me. I wanted to go to sleep seeing her face and wake with her in my arms. I wanted to be there when her nightmares would destroy her in her sleep, but she refused. She said it was too fast, and that we had to build on what we had first. I reluctantly agreed, but five days out of seven she sleeps next to me anyway.
Now, we're at Bones and I could feel Neva's nervousness. She had finally plucked up enough courage to get on the stage and sing; it will be the first time she has sung and played in public for a long time. I have been silently listening to her practice in my apartment. Her voice slices through me every time, and makes me fall even deeper in love with her, if that's possible.
"Logan, I don't think I can do this," she whispered, leaning into my side.
I tilted my head slightly and gave her a small smile. She could do this, I knew she could.
Finding Me (Bad Boy #2) Page 16
