by Shealy James
Finding Me, Finding You
Finding Me, Finding You
By: Shealy James
Copyright © 2013 by Shealy James
ISBN-13: 978-1492831778
ISBN-10: 1492831778
All Rights Reserved
No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Finding Me, Finding You
Shealy James
Freshman Year
Chapter 1
Parker
“You leaving already?” Alexis asked as she sat up in the mess of sheets on her bed running her hands through her tangled sex hair. Usually I take a little pride in making a girl look like that, but not today. Her pink cheeks and swollen lips didn’t give me that last little pat on the back like usual.
Without thinking too much about the emptiness that hit me sooner than it usually does, I zipped my jeans and threw my t-shirt over my head. “Yeah. I’m moving tomorrow. Gotta pack.”
She crawled across the bed to get close to me. “Ohhh, I think you could stay a little longer.” She tried to sound flirty, but all I heard was whining. On her knees sitting up on her high four-poster bed, we were nose to nose. She ran her hands down my chest. As her hand continued south, she added, “I think I could make it worth your while.”
I pulled my car keys out of my pocket just in time to intercept her hand from copping a feel. “No thanks. Once was enough for tonight. I gotta head out. See ya later.” I grabbed the doorknob and started to leave.
“Parker!” Alexis whined intentionally this time. She jumped out of bed and stood in front of me completely naked and unashamed. Alexis was hot in a tiny rocker girl sort of way. Her blond and hot pink hair and pierced nose and eyebrow were certainly not what I picture on my ideal woman, but I wasn’t looking for an ideal. I just wanted easy and forgettable, and Alexis fit the mold for now.
“Sorry Lex. Next time.” I walked around her out the door knowing she wouldn’t follow. Grady, her roommate and the lead singer in her band, was home and did not exactly appreciate our relationship or lack thereof. He didn’t want it to cause drama in the band, but I was always upfront with Lex- sex, no strings, and no negotiation. She agreed, but she had been known to cause drama on occasion, so Grady was understandably wary. I would be too if I worried about her, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was upfront, and that was all she got from me. I knew that made me sound like an asshole, and maybe I was, but again, I just couldn’t bring myself to care.
I could hear the sound of the guitar before I entered the room and found Grady sitting in the living room writing music. “See ya man,” he said with a nod of his punk rock faux-hawk he was currently sporting. Right before I was out the door, he asked, “Hey Park? You coming to the show tomorrow?”
“Maybe. I’m moving in the morning. Meeting the new roommate, so we’ll see how that goes. I may need to get smashed to face the rest of the semester with the computer geek sharing the my cell.”
“Ha. It won’t be bad. It could be your dad and brother instead.” I nodded knowing the computer geek was definitely the lesser of the two evils in this situation. Grady then said something that probably never would have occurred to me, “Bring your new roommate.”
“Yeah. We’ll see. Later.” I headed out the door with a wave over my shoulder. I climbed in my Challenger and revved my engine before I backed out and started down the street. My car is a bitch on gas, but it’s the car I really wanted. I saved up for the down payment from working summers as an office assistant in the math department. Playing in the bar helped too. When my dad replaced my beat up Honda Civic with the Challenger for my graduation, he told me to put the money I had earned toward college living expenses. Yeah right. I was thinking about buying a new acoustic guitar.
Music was the one place I found solace, so when Guns N’ Roses ‘Don’t You Cry’ started playing from the radio, I turned it up to find some peace in the familiar rhythm and lyrics. I lost myself in imagining the chords, memorizing each note that screeched from Slash’s electric guitar, but the drive home was too quick to find any real clarity. I could have used it too. Pops was waiting on me when I walked through the door. He was in his recliner reading some math research journal, and I inwardly groaned before I greeted him with my usual “Hey Pops,” as I gently shut the front door.
He looked up from his reading, peeking at me from over his reading glasses that when paired with his stylish clothing choices screamed college professor. “You missed dinner. We waited at the diner for you.”
“Sorry. I rehearsed with the band. They have a new guitarist, so I was trying to help out.”
“Parker, sit down.”
Here we go, I thought while making a conscious effort not to roll my eyes or groan out loud. Pops took his glasses off and scrubbed his face with his hand. He always did this right before a lecture. I always notice how much older he looks right after he removes his hand from his face. Since my mom passed two years ago, Pops had aged at least ten years. His once brown hair had grayed all over in addition to the deep worry lines across his forehead and around his eyes.
Once I was seated on side the couch farthest away from him, he began. “I know that you’re an amazing guitar player. I get it. You’re young and trying to have fun, but college is important. You need to focus on school and soccer. If you want to play music in your free time, then go for it. You need to remember that your scholarships are ensuring that you have a place in that honor’s college. Being in the top of your class now puts you in a better position for graduate programs and a competitive job market. You have so much potential, and I don’t want to see it wasted on playing with a punk band in a bar. That is a waste of your time...”
I tuned him out and waited patiently for him to finish this bullshit lecture because I knew it would get worse if I interrupted. That always opened the “we taught you respect” can of worms, and I didn’t need that tonight. For a second I regretted not going another round with Alexis. At least I would have felt pretty great about myself for another hour instead of listening to this horseshit about my potential that I’m apparently not reaching or that I really should talk to someone who could help me “deal with my emotions.” When he stopped speaking, he gave me the look, the eyebrows up “why aren’t you answering me” look. I responded, “Yes sir. I know. School comes first and then soccer then music. I get it.”
“Parker. Not all music comes third. If you chose to-“
“Look Pops. I have to go pack. Don’t worry. I won’t let you down or embarrass you.”
I stood up to leave the room, but he couldn’t let it go. “It isn’t about letting me down, Park. It is about making us proud.”
“Yeah, Pops.” I walked out of the room. He had to bring Mom into it. Way to ruin a perfectly good night. I thought a second time about going back over to Grady’s to see Alexis again and let off some steam or even shoot the shit with Grady, but I wasn’t lying when I said I had to pack. I hadn’t even done one thing to prepare to move the next day mostly because I had avoided time at home all summer.
I threw my shirt off and smelled Alexis on me, so I immediately jumped in the shower. I turned the water to the hott
est temperature and scrubbed my whole body twice. When I looked in the mirror after drying off, my skin was bright red. I simply nodded my acceptance and threw on a pair of shorts before throwing clothes into my huge duffle.
I only wanted to bring one bag. The giant black duffle is what I took when I went to North Carolina for soccer training every summer for four weeks, so I expected all of my stuff to fit. Whatever didn’t fit could stay home. On the other hand, I didn’t want to have to drive home every weekend to get clothes. I could drive the thirty minutes home to get anything else anytime I want, but then I would have to hear Pops get on my case about my “potential” again. No thanks. Going to school close to home has its perks for most people, but I already thought I might regret not going to California like I had originally planned.
Because I only planned to bring the basics, it didn’t take me long to get everything ready for tomorrow. The only thing I made sure to bring other than the typical stuff was my guitar. I played with Grady, Alexis, and a couple of older guys from high school some still, but more often I played just to play. They let me play whenever I had time, but between soccer and a full class load for which I needed to keep my grades up for my scholarship, I didn't think it would happen nearly often.
Maggie
“Margaret, pack your toothbrush!”
“Yes Ma’am!”
“Margaret, did you pack your pink dress?”
“No Ma’am. I don’t need many dresses at school!”
“Margaret, is your soccer bag in the car?”
“Yes, Mother!” My tone had become progressively more impatient, and I was sure that I was going to duct tape my mother’s mouth shut if she asked me one more question.
My sisters were in my room trying not to let my mother hear their giggling. Catherine peaked out in the hall before she whispered, “Mags, ignore her. You’ll be fine, but don’t forget to make friends with your roommate right away. You don’t want her to shave your eyebrows off in the middle of the night or anything.”
“Catherine! Stop trying to scare her.” My other sister slapped her twin’s arm before turning back to finish straightening my unruly hair. “You’ll be fine. Your hair looks great. This outfit’s too cute on you, and best of all, Mom won’t be there tomorrow. You’ll have a wonderful time.” Carolyn winked at me.
“Time to go, Margaret. Max is finished loading the car.”
“Coming, Mother,” Carolyn shouted as we gathered up the last of my belongings and headed down to the cars in the driveway. Today was the day I had been waiting forever for. I was finally leaving the nest and heading for my first year in college.
Eliza, our housekeeper, stopped me on the way downstairs with a tight hug. “Maggie Anne, have a wonderful time and be safe. Call me every chance you get.” She was more like a mom to me than my own mother. She was the one who loved me unconditionally and never worried about what my hair looked like or what dress I was going to wear to dinner at the club.
“I will, Liza. Love you!”
“Love you, too sweet girl. Tell Max I said to behave himself.”
“Will do.” I smiled and hugged her tightly one more time. Other than Daddy, Eliza was the only person from home that I would miss everyday. I would have the only other important person with me.
Max, my best friend (ok, my only friend), and I had loaded up my small Audi SUV with all of his belongings. We were sharing a car at school because his father wouldn't let him bring his little sports car that he was given on his sixteenth birthday until he brought home a 4.0 college report card. I didn’t mind though. Sharing a car with Max guaranteed that he would be around, which made me feel better. This would be the first time ever that I wouldn’t be able to walk into his house and up to his room anytime I wanted.
The trunk of the car was full when we slammed it shut earlier that morning. His big black luggage was filled with his clothes while his masculine blue and grey bedding that I helped pick out was folded neatly into a big, blue container. His extensive computer equipment was neatly packed into boxes to ensure it all arrived safely and undamaged.
My parents were going to follow us in a near identical car that was similarly packed. Instead of black luggage, it held my floral Vera Bradley and light green designer luggage. Instead of simply striped bedding, mine had pink frills that I had no hand in choosing. My mother had everything to do with the final choices for my dorm room, but at that point I didn’t care.
"You driving or am I?" Max shouted as he walks the last steps across the trim, bright green front lawn of my parent’s ridiculous mansion.
Before I could answer, my mom announced in her nasally voice that she reserves for critiquing only me, "Maxwell, you know better than to let her drive. We would like to get there today."
As I tossed the keys, I glanced at Max and mutter, "Are we there yet?" He laughed and shook his head forcing his messy brown curls to flop around on his head. Max perpetually needed a haircut because he only went one when his dad will be in town, but we had never really been ones for caring about our looks. Today was the first time I asked my sisters to help with my hair. Usually my mother forced me into the chair so her glam squad could help “tame the mess,” her words, not mine.
"Ready?" Max asked as he started the engine.
I plugged in my iPod and pressed play on our "Get the hell outta dodge" play list that we spent the summer creating.
"Ready," I confirmed.
As we drove down our tree-lined street in Savannah, I watched without even a hint of regret as the large houses settled on a golf course passed. I had been waiting for this day for five years, and if it hadn't been for Daddy and Max, I wouldn't be going to the college of my choice. If it were up to my mother, I would be headed to her alma mater, Ole Miss, to find a husband. I didn’t even apply to Ole Miss, but somehow an acceptance letter found its way to our mailbox with my name on it. Fortunately I always have Daddy on my side, and he took care of my mother. She wasn’t allowed to speak about my college plans after he discovered what she had done.
Max and I had our hearts set on Emory in Atlanta since seventh grade when I went to a soccer camp the same week as Max went to a computer camp there. Max's mom always made sure we could do things together in the summer. Even if we weren't together, it helped each of us to know the other was only a walk away. We probably wouldn’t have ever gone to camp, or anywhere for that matter, without the other being close by. College was to be no different.
Emory was in a city full of excitement and different types of people. It was known for its academics, and I had been following the girl’s soccer team for as long as I could remember. There was something about the school that attracted the pair of us. We knew we would have our choice of schools since we both made almost perfect scores on the SATs, had perfect GPAs, and had enough community service and after school activities to kill a horse. I guess the one benefit of having few friends (or only one in my case) was that we had plenty of time to perfect our college applications. Max was valedictorian, and I was salutatorian of our graduating class of thirty-two from a small private school for the wealthiest children in Savannah. If our grades didn't get us into school, our parents' wealth was sure to do the trick, but we were determined to be accepted based on merit and earn scholarships to ensure our college experience was our own.
Daddy was supportive of our goal, but he wouldn't have cared either way as long as I was happy. Max's mom, Suzanne had the same sentiment. She is the warm and fuzzy kind of mom, the kind that bakes cookies and hugs you when you walk in the door. I always hoped my mother would learn to be more like Suzanne, but no such luck.
My mother spent our entire lives shaping my sisters and me to be the perfect accessories, or that’s what Max thinks at least. My older twin sisters, Catherine and Carolyn, are beautiful and everything my mother ever wanted, dainty. They both have green eyes and perfect chestnut colored hair that curls when it is supposed to and lies flat when they straighten it. They are well mannered, always perfectly dressed and s
omehow never wrinkle, just like my mother. As hard as I tried, my blouse never stayed tucked in, my panty hose always had a run, and there was always a stray tendril of my hair that will not cooperate. I have never once made it home from the nail salon without messing up at least one of my newly manicured fingernails…seriously, not even once.
My mother's list of my shortcomings was lengthy, so I didn't want to give her the opportunity to critique my choice of college on top of everything else, but Daddy originally insisted that she get to offer her two cents. I knew better than to think anything I wanted would be celebrated by my mother unless it was what she had chosen first, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that she wasn’t on board with us going to Emory.
I shook those thoughts out of my head and focused on the here and now. Max turned off our street and headed toward the highway. I turned the volume up as we both started shouting the lyrics to Bryan Adam’s 'Summer of '69'. The horrific singing continued for all three hours of the drive until we arrived. The campus was buzzing with activity. I had been here several times over the summer for soccer practice, but the campus was like a whole other place today. There were cars filling the lots and scattering the lawns, so their owners could unload the massive amount of dorm decor and luggage they brought. Someone moved out from a parking place near the front door right as Daddy pulled up, so he backed right into that space.
"Does your dad pay someone to save him a parking place everywhere he goes, or is he really that lucky?" Max asked as we drove further down.
"I wouldn't be surprised. Go park in front of your dorm, and then we'll walk over and unload here first, so Daddy can take my mother home before she starts complaining."
Max's dorm was next door to mine. We were both living in the honor student dorms, so there was only one dorm for women and one for men, but I was thankful when I realized they were next door to each other.
