by Tawny Weber
“Nope. Not questioning it.” Putting an easy smile on, he shrugged as if it wasn’t a problem. But she could see otherwise in his eyes. “I do think it’s a problem when every trainer sets their own rules instead of following a specific gym policy, but that’s just my opinion.”
“Since it’s not Mack’s opinion, I don’t see that there’s an issue.” Ava kept her expression friendly. But she waited a long enough beat to get her point across. “Is there?”
“Nope. No issue.”
But Ava could see that it was. Joe was the kind of guy who held strong opinions, and if he bought in as partner, ones he’d force on everyone.
Snagging a towel from the shelf, Ava dabbed at the sweat dripping down her cheek as she watched him stride across the gym. Friendly greetings followed him, as did more than one set of lusting looks.
Mack could do worse in partners, but Ava still didn’t want the guy for a boss.
Nerves jabbing at her like a stick in the back, she debated calling her mother, giving the trust fund conversation another shot. But any visit with Celeste was bound to touch on dating sooner or later, and since Ava was rolling around naked with her ex, she couldn’t in good conscious lie straight to her mother’s face.
She’d phone and make that appointment with the bank to discuss a loan. Later. Right now, she had things to do. Or, rather, Elijah to do.
Energized and empowered by more than just a good morning workout, Ava hurried up to Mack’s apartment. Eight thirty. Late by Elijah’s standards, but maybe—just maybe—she’d catch him still in bed.
She wondered if she’d ever felt this alive. Not in recent memory, that was certain. She’d love nothing more than to cap off a half hour of yoga, a session of Pilates and a vigorous kickboxing class with a heart-pounding round of sexual calisthenics.
A saucy smile playing over her lips, she inserted the key in the lock and imagined how she’d greet him. With soft kisses, easing him into their lovemaking? Or with wild heat? If he was in the shower, they’d go for water games.
Already damp with anticipation and excitement, Ava pushed open the door and practically danced inside.
And stopped short. What the hell?
A woman was curled up on Mack’s couch, cuddled under an emerald blanket that Ava knew to be cloud soft and warm. Streaky blond hair fanned over the pillow, framing a face straight out of a magazine. Not only model pretty but society perfect.
Who was she?
Ava knew most of Mack’s friends, and she wasn’t among them. And she definitely wasn’t the type he’d pick up in a bar.
That left Elijah. Was this someone he’d been seeing? Was that what he’d tried to tell her when Ava had shut him down a few nights ago? She hadn’t wanted to hear about his current life. She’d insisted that there was nothing between them but this moment.
Despite their agreement, she’d kept things in a strict no commitment mode. Just a little sexy fun. They were both free agents, neither encumbered by expectations or rules or strings.
She gave a low growl. Well to hell with that. Body tight, fight moves choreographing in her mind, Ava stormed across the room. She’d deal with Elijah first, then she’d handle the blonde.
A quick glance showed her the kitchen was empty.
Seething, she headed down the hall. Before she could slam the bedroom door open, a man stepped out.
Her scowl flashed with puzzlement.
That wasn’t Elijah. She blinked. “Diego?”
“Quequitos,” he said with a wide smile, using the Mexican word for cupcake before wrapping her in those huge arms. “Que pasa?”
“Estoy confundida,” she murmured. And she was, very confused. “What are you doing here? What’s going on?”
“I’m here to brighten your day with my awesome company,” he said as Elijah came out of the bedroom. Were they having some sort of top secret chat in there?
“You haven’t changed,” she realized with a laugh. Her hand cupped his cheek for just a moment as she appreciated the Latin perfection of his features.
“Oh, I’ve changed,” he promised, grinning. She could see something in his eyes. The same soul-deep pain she’d seen in Elijah’s. But in Diego she also saw acceptance. And, unlike Elijah, a glow of happiness. “I’m engaged.”
“No way,” Ava said, shooting Elijah a look as if expecting him to deny it. But he simply leaned his shoulder against the door frame and watched, expressionless. “El Gato is getting married? Seriously?”
“As a heart attack,” came the response. But it wasn’t Diego or Elijah who made the vow. Ava’s jaw dropped, her heart shifting just a smidge.
“Nic?”
Ava didn’t have time to absorb the shock before she was handed off to another set of strong arms. Nic Savino? Her honorary big brother? The man they’d named Dominic for?
Her heart racing with a combination of delight and fear, Ava pulled back to study his face. Unlike his men, Nic’s Italian features showed no sign of wear or woe.
“You don’t look a day older,” she declared. How fair was that? Four years and not one of these men had aged?
“Ava, I want you to meet Harper. My fiancée.”
Her hands still on Nic’s arms, Ava glanced down the hall toward Diego.
For a second, her heart sighed because the man looked so incredibly happy. Then her gaze shifted to the blonde from the couch. She was even prettier awake. And very comfortable with the men of Poseidon.
Ava recognized jealousy when it bit at her with its tiny, nipping teeth. Just as she recognized how ridiculous it was for her to lay any claim to the team. She might have been the only woman welcomed in their hallowed circle by virtue of her marriage, but that had been a long time ago. And while Elijah and his friends might be standing in her world again, it wasn’t as if she were a part of theirs any longer.
Pretending she didn’t feel the digging thorns of grief at a loss she hadn’t realized she owned, Ava shifted out of Nic’s embrace. Calling on early training, she found her socialite smile and stepped forward to greet the sophisticated blonde.
“Hello, I’m Ava.” She offered her hand. “I hope I didn’t wake you. I wasn’t expecting company. Or—” she glanced at the men “—a reunion.”
“I’m sorry to fall asleep on your couch,” the woman said as she stepped forward to clasp Ava’s hand. “It was a long night.”
Curiosity stirred, but Ava stomped it out like a bug. Harper was obviously in on whatever was bothering the men. Whatever it was, it was team related. Something Ava had never been allowed to be part of.
“Then you all must be starving. Let me get you something to eat,” she offered the group at large, hiding her feelings behind her best hostess smile.
“Don’t worry about it,” Nic refused. “We ate.”
“Then how about coffee?”
Avoiding everyone’s gaze, Ava quickly skirted through the mountainous bodies and down the hall to the kitchen. There she took a second to lean against the counter and try to breathe past the knot in her chest.
She’d missed them. How could she miss something she’d spent so many years telling herself she resented?
“You don’t have to serve them. I can make the coffee,” Elijah said, his quiet words sneaking up on her.
“But I want to. Unless Mack is around somewhere. You know how he likes playing hostess.”
“He cleared out for a while. Said he’d be back later on.”
Meaning he knew this was official Poseidon business, too. Tucking that thought away, Ava gestured toward the living room.
“Go visit with your friends. This won’t take long.” Keeping her back to him, Ava surreptitiously wiped her cheeks. “Why don’t you settle everyone in the living room? I’ll just be a few minutes here.”
They might have eaten, but she knew
these men—or she had once. So while the coffee brewed, Ava dug into the back of Mack’s pantry for the stash of cookies she knew was hidden there. She found a pretty enamel tray for the plate of cookies, cups, coffee and accompaniments. By the time she’d carefully folded paper napkins into triangles, she finally felt as if she had enough control to face them again.
A half hour later, she could have laughed at herself for worrying. Home, she realized. It was like coming home. The warmth, the acceptance, the familial bond. She hadn’t seen these men in four years, but they treated her as if it had been just yesterday. It would be the same with any member of Poseidon, she knew. It was their attachment to Elijah that had brought her into their hallowed circle. But their loyalty, once extended, was forever.
The men of Poseidon were a brotherhood. Closer than brothers, from what she remembered. They’d essentially grown to manhood together, fighting side by side since their early twenties. Everything they’d seen, done, gone through—it only strengthened the bond.
Her eyes met Nic’s as she refilled his coffee. Here, she felt guilt. She’d hurt one of his men. Reasons, circumstances, her own pain—the why didn’t matter. The bottom line was she’d caused pain to someone Nic cared about. And Nic Savino never forgot a thing like that.
Unable to face that look, Ava excused herself and hurried back to the kitchen under the pretext of more coffee. Once there, though, she simply stared out the window until she heard the front door open and close, the sound of voices fading.
“They had to go take care of a few things, but Nic asked that you stick around,” Elijah said when he came in behind her. “He’d like to talk with you when he gets back.”
“What’s to talk about?”
“He didn’t tell me. I guess we’ll both find out.”
What if she didn’t want to find out? What if she wasn’t ready for whatever was going on? Because something was, and it was big. Ava had spent enough time on the periphery of their world to recognize the feeling of something huge about to happen.
“What about you?” she asked. “Does this mean you’re leaving?”
“Probably.” His eyes searched hers, his expression intense. “But not for long. And not for good.”
“Right.” She tossed her chin.
A sound in the doorway interrupted Elijah’s comeback.
“Elijah? Is my mom here?” A little boy with shaggy chestnut hair and the face of an angel rubbed his eyes. “I can’t find her.”
“She ran out to pick up a few things, kiddo. You hungry?”
“Starving. Like, I could eat a hippo or something. Except I wouldn’t, cuz they’re really cool.” The boy’s blue eyes shone with curiosity when they shifted to Ava. “Hi. I’m Nathan. Who’re you?”
“Ava. I’m Ava,” she said quietly, melting in the heat of the emotions burning through her. Her thoughts drained away, leaving her mind buzzing and empty. Her anger sank into a murky puddle. Her heart cried.
From the look on Elijah’s face, he saw everything she was feeling.
“I can handle PB&J.” Digging through the cupboards, Elijah pulled out ingredients. “Or given that this is Mack’s place, almond butter and chutney on a pita. Sound edible?”
The boy grimaced but offered a polite, “Sure, thanks.”
Ava couldn’t stand it. No child should have to eat that. “Do you like quesadillas?” she heard herself asking. “Vegetables?”
“Yes, ma’am, I like almost all vegetables. Except lima beans cuz they taste like chalk. Quesadillas are good. Way gooder than chutney. Um, what is chutney?” The last was asked in apology to Elijah, who offered a grin and a pat on the shoulder.
“Nothing you want on a sandwich, kid.” He shot a careful look at Ava, who pretended to ignore it. She put every ounce of focus she had on making a snack.
She pulled asparagus, mushrooms, zucchini and red peppers from the fridge. Bypassing the Brie and the goat cheese, she went for the softer flavor of Monterey Jack. As Elijah talked about someone called Steve Rogers with the little boy, Ava quickly sautéed the vegetables, adding a dash of spice before spreading the softened pepper over sliced pita bread.
They just chatted along. Obviously they knew each other. How? Where had the boy come from? What was he to Elijah? It didn’t matter. She didn’t care. She cared only about getting lunch on the table, she told herself as she arranged the vegetables, sprinkled them with cheese.
Her heart pounding loud enough to almost drown out the conversation behind her, she tried to breathe as she slid the plate under the broiler. While the cheese bubbled and browned, she checked the fridge. Blocking the sound of the boy and Elijah laughing, she bypassed the cashew milk in favor of a couple of lemons and sparkling soda.
By the time she slid the pitcher of lemon soda and tidily plated quesadilla to the table, her movements were like a robot’s. Automated, emotionless, ice cold. She tried a smile, but it was so stiff it probably looked like it needed oil. With a muttered, “Enjoy,” she left the room.
She managed to keep her steps easy and even until she was out of sight. Then she ran. Hurrying into the bathroom, she locked the door behind her to keep Elijah from following.
The boy must be Harper’s son. She’d overheard Diego say he was napping in Mack’s room, but she hadn’t been prepared for the sight of someone so young. She didn’t know how long she sat on the edge of the tub bawling her misery out. But it was enough to leave her with a sore throat and swollen eyes. Finally, she sniffed back the last of her tears and scowled at the closed door.
Where was Elijah?
He knew she was upset. Why hadn’t he come to check on her? Why hadn’t he forced his way in here? He should be here, trying to make her feel better.
But, no. He had other things to do. Other priorities. Always, always other priorities.
Pain, four years rich, oozed through her, coating her every emotion, seeping into her every thought. Her mind raced with images, memories that dug deep, ripping at her heart.
She thought of the worst time of her life, when she’d sunk into a morass of hideous despair too miserable to be real, and Elijah hadn’t been there.
She could see her baby’s face so clearly. Porcelain and cold, empty. Gone.
She had the vaguest memory of screaming, screaming, screaming. The baffled sorrow on the EMT’s freckled face. The distant regret in the doctor’s voice. The tearful sympathy in her parents’ arms. But it had taken Elijah three goddamn days to come home. Who knew how long it had taken before he even got the message. He’d been off on one of his secret missions, saving the fucking world.
Yet here he was, there for someone else’s little boy.
She burst into guttural sobs of misery, all her shields collapsing. Ava didn’t know how long she sat on the edge of the tub, face in her hands, crying like the world was ending. However long it was, it wasn’t long enough.
Finally, though, she was empty. And it was time to get back to her life.
The new life she’d built. The one where she was strong and capable and in control. It took her a good five minutes of yoga breathing to reclaim that part of her, and even then she felt as if she were hanging on to it with her fingernails.
But Ava was in control. She stood, splashed cold water on her face, then dug into her duffel for the cosmetics she rarely bothered with.
When she was sure she’d erased all evidence of her meltdown, Ava pressed one hand against her belly to quiet the nerves jangling there and stepped into the hallway.
Quiet.
Why was it so quiet?
Where the hell was Elijah?
Tiptoeing in case she had to hurry back into hiding, she made her way down the hallway. Nobody in Mack’s or Elijah’s bedrooms. And the living room appeared empty. She peeked around the corner of the kitchen.
“Hello, Ava.” Nic didn’t l
ook up, but he lifted one finger in silent command that she wait a second.
A part of her wanted to turn around and leave, just to prove she could. But she couldn’t. Even as she rolled her eyes at her own timidity when it came to the power and command of the leader of Poseidon, Ava leaned against the kitchen door frame and sighed.
Whatever he wanted, he’d make sure he got it. So she might as well wait.
* * *
AFTER TAKING A moment to save his chosen driving route, along with two alternates, on his tablet, Nic turned his attention to the woman. Always beautiful, she’d grown even lovelier, rocking the buff and toned look just as well as she had her previous pampered appearance. But Ava wasn’t any better at hiding her emotions now than she’d been four years ago.
And right now she was an emotional mess.
She’d worked some female magic on her face, so her skin was dewy fresh, the tone even. But makeup couldn’t disguise the pain in her eyes or the determined set of her lips.
“Are you going to join me? Or stay poised in the doorway, ready to run?”
“I think I’d rather run,” she said honestly. But after another few seconds’ debate, she shrugged and joined him at the table. She kept her bag on her lap, though. As if ready to make a break for it.
She cast another cautious look around, but the room was empty other than Nic. “Where’s Elijah?”
She didn’t ask about the little boy. Not surprising, but her reticence didn’t make his job easier. Nic didn’t consider that a problem. He never expected easy.
“Recalled to duty.” He kept his words easy and light, a sharp contrast to the intensity of his expression.
“And he didn’t bother to say goodbye?” With a bitter laugh, Ava snapped her keys off the table, tucking them into the side pocket of her duffel bag.
“He didn’t have a choice.”
