Memory of Morning

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by Susan Sizemore


  "I have heard of the fashion," he replied.

  "This is a poor effort at fiction," I said. I was shriveling with embarrassment as his puzzled gaze grew somewhat contemptuous. "I pretended to write the details of the life of an adventurous sailor. There is no truth in the tale."

  "I see," he said, though I could tell he didn't. He added the red notebook on top of the brown ones the sailor was holding. Then he turned to go.

  This time Mr. Gate had to grab me around the waist to keep me from going after the man. A stern look from his single eye was all that kept me from shouting to give me back my property.

  "It'll come back to you," he whispered in my ear. "Don't worry your head about it."

  My eyes burned with tears at the loss, at the shock of the loss, but I managed to listen to the Second Officer's wisdom. There was nothing else I could do, anyway. I would simply have to wait, and hope for Clover's return. I would also hope that whoever was assigned to reading the manuscript didn't find it too ridiculous and poorly executed. Perhaps they wouldn't be able to make out my poor handwriting and bits of personal shorthand. I prayed to the All that I wouldn't end up being the laughingstock of all Port Seyemouth before I saw my story again.

  What was more distressing to me was that when the port official and his men were gone, Star was no longer in the room, either. How was I supposed to have a long goodbye cuddle with my dog when she wasn't there?

  "Star?" I called. I looked around. "Star?"

  Mr. Gate cleared his throat. "She's been taken below, Dr. Cliff. Returned to the kennel master."

  There were more than a dozen dogs on board, and probably twice as many cats. Big, fierce fighting dogs that worked with the marines, terriers to clear out the vermin, guard dogs that patrolled on each watch. But none was as dear as my Star. Still, she belonged to the ship, not to me.

  I did shed a tear this time, but I nodded my understanding. "Of course," I said.

  Erbesqe put her arm through mine. "Come along, it is time we were going."

  I knew she was more anxious to leave the Moonrunner than I, but that didn't make her any less right. I sighed, nodded, and left our cabin for the last time with her.

  I don't know why I hadn't expected anyone to notice our leaving. How very foolish of me. And how very glad I was when we came onto the main deck to find the entire ship's crew lined up at attention to bid us a formal goodbye. The sky overhead was leaden gray, but the sun was shining brightly on Seyemouth as far as I was concerned.

  In front of all the crew stood Captain Copper and Dr. Swan. Captain Copper was holding Star. Star was licking his chin, which didn't stop the captain from grinning at me ear to ear when our gazes met.

  I will tell you that my knees nearly buckled when he turned that smile on me. But it wasn't for the first time, so I managed not to show the effect he had on me. I hope. More importantly, they were all there to give us a fond send off, as spit and polished as you please. My heart nearly burst with the love I felt for this crew, my crew, and this time I didn't even try to stop from bursting into tears.

  The choir sang The Hymn of Going.

  When Captain Copper came forward and placed Star in my arms as my going away present, my bawling only became worse.

  Chapter Four

  It was a day of surprises. Not just for me, but for Star. The poor dog had never been on land. The moment I set her down on the dock she began to wobble on her short, sturdy legs. I couldn't help but laugh when she sat down and looked up at me with a glance that said, What have you done to me?

  I laughed and picked her up, even though bending over was a bit daunting as I was shaky being on land myself. I held Star up in front of me and told her, "Don't expect to be carried around like a princess on a pillow all the time, you'll get used to it."

  Then I looked past the terrier and saw - my family approaching!

  I gaped for a moment, hardly recognizing my parents and sister because they weren't somewhere I expected them to be. And it had been over two years. Not that any of them had changed that much - maybe it was just that I felt that I had.

  I put down Star and ran forward squealing, "Mommy! Daddy! Bell!" as enthusiastically as a happy ten year old.

  Star ran beside me, barking at these strangers, and my sister, being the most fearlessly loving person in the world, picked up Star and hugged the dog while I went into my father's warm embrace.

  By the All it was good to see them!

  "Why are you crying?" Mother asked when she took her turn hugging me.

  I sniffed. "I'm so happy to be home."

  She looked me up and down. "Where did you get that dress?"

  "I made it," I answered.

  "Oh, dear."

  My mother wears black most of the time, a black dress or a black robe or tabard depending on whether she's teaching, preaching, or counseling. Despite her own plain wardrobe, her sense of style is impeccable. She looked over the blue and brown plaid frock I wore with a jaundiced eye.

  I like to think I inherited her taste in clothing, but any talent I might have as a seamstress is nonexistent. Yes, I know, I am a surgeon, but I have discovered that sewing up muscle and skin is far easier for me than running a straight seam. Making ourselves new civilian dresses for leaving the Moonrunner had been a project Erbesqe and I had undertaken with great enthusiasm when an armed Fram merchantman had fallen Captain Copper's way as a prize and our quartermaster appropriated a quantity of cloth. Erbesqe selected a light green sprigged muslin and I decided on the plaid and we set about dressmaking. Her efforts turned out very pretty. I made mine as plain and simple as possible: high waist, simple round neckline, sleeves gathered at the elbow, buttons carved from spent wooden bullets by Lt. Eel - a nice touch I thought - and had been satisfied that it would do. Wrongly, it seemed.

  "Fortunately, I brought a trunk of clothes for you," Mother said.

  "She's teasing you," Father said. "But she did insist on bringing along more luggage than any ten people have a right to haul around. Not like the woman at all," he added with a confused shake of his head.

  Generally, Father does as Mother tells him to do as far as domestic matters are concerned, and everything works out fine. We all do, come to think of it.

  "What are you doing in Seyemouth?" I asked.

  Not that we weren't all familiar with the port town. Mother's family lives on Welis, and she has a cottage and orchards there. Seyemouth is the port where we always caught the ferry to Welis when we made summer visits to our Owl relations. Depending on the sailing weather or the time we arrived here from Avan or Cliffside, we frequently stayed at least overnight here in Seyemouth.

  "Are you on the way to visit Uncle Charle?"

  "We came for you!" Belladem proclaimed. "You, and Tennit and Alix too. All three of you are coming home. We'll all be together for the first time in years."

  "Letters arrived from the Admiralty," Father said. "Telling us that you and Tennit are free from active service. A letter made its way from Alix, as well, saying he is being sent home on leave. All of you due in Seyemouth within a month of each other."

  "So, we decided to make a family holiday and greet you one by one," Mother said. She hugged me again. "You're the first one home."

  "And very welcome, you are," Father added.

  Yes, I know it is a bit surprising to hear the names of not one or two, but four offspring mentioned in one family. You see, I'm told my parents did only plan on having a normal number of children, one or two at the most. They started out properly, with Alix. Three years later mother was with child again, and ended up with twins, Belladem and Tennit. That wasn't too much of a surprise as both Mother and Father are twins - not of each other, of course. Mother and Uncle Charle are twins, Father and Aunt Edime are twins. My parents met while at university when they both volunteered for a medical study a professor was conducting on what he considered a growth in the incidence of multiple births since the onset of the Red Fever. So, my parents ended up with three children. Then an accident
occurred and I was born not quite ten months after Bell and Tenn. My parents are a very affectionate couple. Being not even a year younger than them, Bell and Tenn often refer to me as "the third twin" or "the lazy, late twin".

  Frankly, I look more like Tennit than Belladem does, and she and Alix look a great deal alike. Tenn and I resemble the Cliffs, fair-skinned, chestnut-haired, blue eyed, on the tall, slender side. Roses of Ang, as the saying goes. Our brother and sister inherited mother's black hair, pale skin, and sooty-lidded gray eyes. Pure Welis looks. Belladem certainly inherited Mother's lush curves and full bosom. She is the family beauty.

  "You've gotten even more beautiful," I said, looking at her now. A pink blush brightened her pale cheeks. She cuddled Star closer. "You are glowing," I told her. "Are you in love?"

  She nodded.

  "Let's go somewhere comfortable and discuss all this," Mother declared. "The dock smells of sweat and garbage, and sailors from half a dozen ships are staring at us."

  Curiosity ate at me, but Mommy was right.

  Porters were instructed to bring my sea trunk to the inn where my family stayed in Seyemouth rather than to deliver it to the contractor's dormitory.

  We walked through the navy docks out to the busy streets beyond. I had assumed we would summon a public conveyance, but was led to a truly fine coach waiting on the street. It was lacquered a deep ox-blood brownish red, pulled by four matched grays. The white Cliff family badge was painted on the door.

  I didn't like that badge. Not because it wasn't a very nice design, but because of the bad memories of the summer I was ten and the entire family gathered at Cliff House to discuss whether the Cliffs were well enough off to apply for an official name. Uncle Eadum had recently become head of the family. Grandmother Cliff wasn't yet ready to cede her influence to her son. He declared it was time for badging, she claimed it was best to remain humble a generation or two longer. We are a large family, mostly loving, happy, and supportive of each other, but not that summer. There were arguments and factions and hard feelings, and all over whether or not we were important enough to ask the College of Heralds for a bit of recognition. The application was made, the Heralds granted the application, and peace returned to the family. But I still remembered the tension and fights that had ruined that summer holiday.

  I took my gaze off the badge and looked this amazing equipage over with awe. "Uncle Eadum has a new coach?"

  "He does," Mother said. "And loaned it to us for the duration."

  The inside was deeply cushioned, the upholstery of soft, buff leather. It was very grand, and not at all crowded with the four of us inside. It could easily hold eight.

  We were taken to Lilac House, the guest house where we always stayed in Seyemouth. The place is set in a garden on the ridge above the civilian side of town. There are woods behind the property and a view overlooking the bay below in front. It was late spring and the huge old lilac bushes surrounding the buildings were in bloom, pale purples, gray-purples, deep purples, whites. The color and scent was heady, overwhelming, and so very fresh and different from the sea-salted air I was used to that I thought I might faint from the simple, concentrated wonder of it.

  Mrs. Lilac met us at the door, as plump and welcoming as I remembered. Her smile faded when she got a look at Star. "You know my policy about animals," was the first thing she said. "That can stay in the kennel by the stables."

  Oh, no she couldn't! "This is no dog," I said. "This is a war hero. She fought at the Battle of the Arum Sea. I'll give you a plume to let her share my room."

  Mrs. Lilac gave the dog, then me, a narrow stare. "A plume a week."

  "Fifty pins."

  "Seventy-five."

  "Fifty-five."

  "Done."

  Mrs. Lilac and I nodded agreement to each other.

  I noticed my mother looking at me as if she'd never seen me before. "What?" I asked her. But I realized what was puzzling her before she could answer. "Bargaining becomes a way of life in the navy," I explained.

  I remember how confused I'd been at first when I went shopping in a port town for the first time and sailors had laughed at me when I handed over coins for the price a merchant named - just like the middle-class landswoman I was. With some instruction, observation, and practice I was soon bartering just like everyone else. I suppose now I was going to have to learn how to shop properly. But in the meantime, Mrs. Lilac and I had come to an accommodation that suited us both.

  "Come along, Star," I said, and led the way into the inn's front hall.

  Chapter Five

  Father's secretary was waiting inside with a stack of correspondence for him - so much for a relaxing family holiday for us all. The pair of them disappeared into an empty parlor after Mr. Cliff - he is a cousin - and I greeted each other and caught up a bit. Mother led the way upstairs to the second-floor room I was to share with Bell. I was delighted that the room's windows looked out over the garden and woods, having had enough of sea views for the moment.

  Mother marched to a tall, carved and painted clothes cabinet and dramatically flung open the left side door. "A feast for the senses!"

  I cooed fondly, recognizing several of my favorite frocks hanging within the cabinet. Among the daydresses there was the cream with red print, the gray with yellow trim, and the green-leaf patterned dress.

  "Timeless designs," mother said as I pulled out each favorite. "Thank goodness, for the sake of our budget."

  "Budget?" I asked. "Our budget?"

  When we reached fifteen our parents gave us each a stipend of one hundred twenty crowns a year. That is a perfectly respectable amount of money, and we Cliffs are reared to understand and be careful with finances. As far as I know none of us has ever had to ask for an advance on our allowance, and we used this money not only to pay for our clothes and other living expenses, but also our very first-class educations. Our stipend continued even after each of us reached our majority at twenty-one. I'd left my affairs in the capable hands of the family financial advisers in Loudon - also Cliff relations - when I went to sea.

  Had something happened to my investments? Had the family become poor in the last two years?

  "Budget?" I asked again, a flutter of worry in my stomach.

  "Look at your other things," Mother said. She was smiling, laughter in her lovely gray eyes. "Then Bell and I will explain the plan."

  It came out THE PLAN - sounding very important and secret. Except that Bell giggled, which certainly helped make THE PLAN sound more like fun than some dire threat.

  I explored deeper in the closet. There were two new daydresses, one striped in cream and blue, and a dressy ecru outfit with touches of lace on the bodice and around the hem.

  Two evening dresses were also familiar, the muted gold silk and the emerald satin. It was the new dress I took out of the cabinet and held up for a closer look. "Lovely," I said. The dress was black lace, and from the cut I imagined how well it would show off my cleavage. Now, black might be normal day wear for clerics like my mother and sister, but it is fashionable evening wear for everyone else. Black is for grownups. I was now twenty-three, and certainly an adult, but I had never had a black dress before.

  I squealed in delight and whirled around the room holding the black dress to me. Until I stopped in sudden confusion and confronted my mother and sister. I thrust the dress out before me.

  "What on earth do I need this for?" I demanded.

  Bell's giggling turned into a peal of laughter. She bounced where she sat on the bed. "For the Season, of course!" she declared. "We're going to Loudon for the Season."

  "The black will do for before the Season," Mother said. "That won't begin for some weeks yet."

  "We?" I asked Bell. "You already live in Loudon, don't you?"

  The last I had heard she was still assigned to the choir of the First Temple of the Heart of the All the Gods - known as just The Heart, or First Temple, or First Heart, most of the time. It's a big place, an ancient pile of holiness and religious intr
igue. Most clerics would bite off their own or someone else's hands for a chance to serve there. Belladem was assigned to First Temple because she has the most beautiful singing voice in all of Ang. This is no exaggeration. My elder sister has won every musical accolade that is to be had from everyone who knows what they are talking about. To hear Bell sing - well, it is a privilege that can break your heart, or send it soaring to all the moons and back again.

  "Of course your sister is still at the Temple," mother said. "What did she just tell you about our going to Loudon?"

  "She said Season?" I looked between them, utterly puzzled.

  Nobles have what they call the Private Season every spring and summer, but as much as fashion circulars and rumor pages might gush over these illustrious events, they are not open to anyone of lesser rank than those of the third noble order. Not that we gentry don't have our own social calendar for this time of year, people need to meet their mates somehow, but we untitled folk would never dare use the term Season to describe our parties, balls, and concerts.

  "Season," I said again, and a thought struck me. "The Dowager has declared a Public Season?" Mother and sister nodded. "But...but..." I sputtered. "There hasn't been a Public Season for, I don't know? Two generations?"

  First there'd been the Red Fever - of which there were still outbreaks. And then the war with the Fram, as well as the pirate depredations. Except for the twice yearly Solstice Song, public celebrations had become a thing of the golden age of the past.

  "The declaration of a Public Season didn't come from the Dowager," Mother said. "The Emperor himself read the document from pulpit at First Temple, and a copy of it has been sent to every other temple in the country."

  "Why?" I asked.

  "That is so you. What does it matter?" Belladem asked.

  I knew what Bell meant - I always think things through, probably think too much. I analyze, and spontaneity is a stranger to my makeup. I have this tendency to find layer upon layer of meaning when situations can be perfectly simple. I can confuse issues when I could just be having fun.

 

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