by R. S Burnett
Sighing, I decline her offer and wince when I touch my lip.
“See you in a minute.” She hangs up.
Holding my breath, I chance a look in the mirror. Cringing at how bad it looks, I start rubbing the dried blood from my chin and the cut by my eyebrow. I’m not brave enough to run a brush through my hair, so I throw it up in a loose pony tail, but the lump on the back of my head is unavoidable. I immediately pull my hair back down so it’s loose around my shoulders again, remembering the nail marks that are no doubt visible on my neck.
My passenger door opens and Sophie leans in. I keep my head down and close my eyes, silently willing myself to keep it together, at least until I’m on my own.
“Brooke, look at me.” My head snaps up at the sound of Matt’s voice. I look around, but Sophie isn’t with him. “I’m on my own,” he informs me while running his gaze over every bump, scrape, cut and already forming bruise on my face. I don’t miss the way he winces when he sees my jaw that has already started to swell.
“Anywhere else?” he asks, looking as though he’s dreading the answer; I can only nod.
“Where?” his concern is my undoing, and I feel a lone tear run down my cheek making me flinch when it touches the cut on my lip.
“My ribs and left ankle,” I whisper but I know that he’s close enough to have heard.
I watch as he sighs heavily and comes around to my door. He smiles at me and politely ignores the way I flinch away from him as he lifts me from the car and continues to carry me into the building and up the stairs to my room.
“How is she?” I ask as he sets me down on my feet outside the door and pulls my arm around his shoulders.
“Worried,” he says full of sympathy.
I nod and take a deep breath as he opens the door and we enter the room. He helps me walk over to Sophie’s bed and sits me down.
I manage to wince only once and hold back the groan as my ribs protest at the awkward position.
“Brooke! What the hell were you thinking, going alone?” Sophie demands.
She sits next to me on the bed and uses a wet cloth to wipe away any dried blood that I missed during my inspection in the car. I’m saved from answering her when my phone rings. Already knowing who it is, I prepare myself for the normal phone call I always get after my ‘visits’.
“Hello?”
“Are you home yet?” my step dad hisses into the phone.
“Yeah.”
“Who’s there?” he demands as usual.
“Just Sophie and me, no one else,” I reply knowing that if he knew there were any men in my room, the next time will be worse. I chance a glance around the room; Matt turns away from me, but not before I catch a glimpse of the pure rage on his face.
“Remember, you tell anyone…”
“Yeah I know, I die,” I finish for him.
“Very well, see you soon. Oh, and wear something…nice next time. I have something a little different planned; something we have never done before. In fact wear a skirt,” he laughs down the phone at me before he hangs up.
I can only stare at the phone.
He basically just told me in advance that he’s going to rape me. He’s never even hinted at it before, but I don’t think for a second that he doesn’t mean it. I’m a little surprised it’s taken this long, but that doesn’t stop my stomach from turning. I somehow manage to throw myself off the bed and toward the bathroom, where I make it just in time to empty my stomach into the toilet.
A few minutes pass and I think I can hear Sophie crying softly, but I can’t be sure because there’s a slight ringing in my ears.
Matt comes in hands me a glass of water and some tissues.
I weakly smile my thanks to him and think that he’s going to leave; instead, he closes the door and sits down next to me on the bathroom floor. I notice that he’s careful to sit a small distance away from me and makes sure not to touch me. I can’t help the snort that escapes my mouth from thinking that just a few hours ago; I was in a similar situation but yet completely different.
“Any reason for your sudden need to toss your stomach contents?” he asks me softly.
“I can’t go back there on my own, ever again,” I tell him while struggling for breath; belatedly, I realise I’m crying.
“Well, I would have said that months ago.”
“No. He told me to wear a skirt next time.” I start sobbing as the reality of it hits me.
“He didn’t…today did he?” he asks, stiffening slightly.
My body shakes with the sobs that come when I realise how I only narrowly escaped that fate today: if he’s thinking it, then there’s no reason why he didn’t do it today.
“That son of a bitch!” Matt shouts next to me, making me jump.
“No, no, not today. He said next time,” I quickly correct when I realise he took my silence for the wrong answer.
“Damn it, Brooke! There isn’t going to be a next time,” he sighs. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have come with you. I told you this yesterday,” he says more softly, and seemingly has his temper controlled.
“I didn’t want to bother you. I knew you had plans to go tonight, which you’re missing by the way. You should get a move on; you’re already late.” He just stares at me, looking at a loss for words.
“Could you help me up please?” I ask him softly, bringing him out of his trance.
Once he’s set me down on my own bed, I clear my throat getting their combined attention.
“I think you should both leave now. I’ve kept you from your party long enough. If you help me down the stairs, I’ll give you all a ride over.”
“No, we’ll stay,” Sophie insists, making her way over to my bed and gingerly putting her arm around me.
“No, I would really like to be on my own…honestly, I can deal with it better that way. I’m probably just going to go to sleep after I’ve iced my jaw.”
“Are you sure?” Matt asks.
“Of course, go have fun.” I smile.
With a little more coaxing on my part, they finally leave for the party. I ice my jaw and settle in for another restless night’s sleep.
***
I’m woken up by the sounds of someone opening and closing drawers and cupboards in our little kitchenette. I pull my eyes open and frown at the sight of a topless Tucker, moving around in my kitchen muttering “coffee” to himself.
“In the freezer,” I call out, amused.
He drops a mug in the sink at the sound of my voice, then spins around to face me smiling sheepishly.
“Morning, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I throw my legs over the side of my bed and gingerly stand to test my ankle. There’s only a little pain, so I limp my way over to him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, moving around him to start the process of making coffee.
“Matt and Sophie took my room last night because his roommate had a few guys over. So they kicked me out of my room and sent me here.” He watches me pour the coffee beans into the machine. “Can’t you just use the stuff from a jar?” he asks, and laughs at the look I send him.
“Not if you want a decent cup of coffee,” I sigh, bending over to inhale the scent as coffee drips down into the pot.
“You’re crazy,” he laughs at me.
“No, I just like coffee,” I correct and get two mugs. We wait in silence for the machine to finish and then sit at the small table.
When he sits opposite me, he frowns at me.
“What?” I ask warily.
“What happened to your jaw?”
I lift my hand up to touch it; and although it’s not swollen, it’s sore. I’m guessing from the way he winces when I do, that I have a bruise on it.
“I slipped in the bathroom, caught it on the tub.”
“Ouch,” he grimaces.
Despite my injuries, I feel well rested. I haven’t had a peaceful night’s sleep in seven years. As soon as the abuse started, so did my nightmares.
<
br /> “I didn’t keep you up last night, did I?” I ask trying to keep my expression blank.
“Uhh…no, why? You were asleep when I came in,” he replies, watching me curiously.
“No reason, I usually keep Sophie up most of the night, that’s all.”
“I’m a light sleeper and slept right through. So, you must have been quiet,” he smirks at me.
I feel my jaw drop open as I realise what he’s implying I was doing finally registers in my brain and glare at him.
I’m completely caught off guard when he raises his hand towards me. I watch wide-eyed as it comes closer; and before I can stop it, I flinch away from him just as his hand comes up next to my face.
He quickly pulls his hand away and his eyebrows pull in together.
I turn my attention to my coffee when I am no longer able to bare his questioning eyes. A few minutes of silence pass before I hear him sigh.
“You didn’t slip in the bathroom, did you?” he asks quietly.
“I did,” I reply sternly, not looking up from cup.
“Brooke…”
“I’m going to take a shower.” I cut him off and push away from the table.
When I come out of the bathroom, the room is once again empty. I rush through getting dressed and dry my hair. Making another cup of coffee, I settle down into a full day of studying for a test I have tomorrow.
Two
“What’s he staring at?” Sophie whispers in my ear. I look and over to where she’s staring at someone.
I shrug, “He’s in one of my classes.” I smile over to Jason and he gets up to start heading our way. “Oh shit,” I whisper to her and watch as Jason takes the seat next to me.
“Hi Brooke,” he smiles at me.
“Hey,” I smile back, not sure what he’s doing because we’ve only spoken a few words to each other since we met at the beginning of the year.
“I was thinking…it would be good if we went out sometime,” he says, taking me off guard.
“Umm…”
“I know we haven’t really spoken, but I’d really like the chance to get to know you,” he smiles.
I’m aware that he’s waiting for me to say something, but I just sit there staring at him.
Sophie pokes me in the side, “Uh yeah, sure,” I say quickly.
“Great. We’ll arrange in next class,” he smiles getting up, tapping the top of the chair he’s just vacated. I watch confused as he walks off.
“Well, that was interesting,” Sophie says to herself.
“Umm … no, that was bizarre,” I correct.
“Not really. Everyone thought you were gay. But, after hearing Tucker spent the night in our room; it’s been decided that you’re straight, just shy.”
“Oh my god,” I groan and start hitting my head on the table.
“What’s up?” I hear Matt say from somewhere above me, but I continue my head banging.
“Jason Hunter just asked Brooke out,” Sophie explains.
“Really?” he asks, not sounding that surprised. “Are you going?”
“No wonder she’s always covered in bruises if she does stuff like this,” I hear Tucker say beside me.
I lift my head to see him watching me curiously; Matt and Sophie quickly look down at their food.
“How do people know you spent the night in my room?” I ask, ignoring his comment.
“Uhh…people saw me leave…don’t worry; everyone knows nothing happened,” he assures me confidently.
“How?” I ask, not sure I want to know the answer.
“Because, I’m talking to you now and you haven’t hit me yet,” he says, as if it’s obvious.
“That can change,” I smile innocently at him, making him chuckle softly.
“I’m glad we decided be friends.”
“Where was I when we had this discussion, because I don’t remember agreeing to any such thing,” I frown at him.
“When you say friends, do you mean…?” Matt asks Tucker, but eyes me curiously.
“No. But that’s a good idea.” Tucker watches me for a second.
“What’s a good idea?” I ask, worried now.
“Why don’t we do the whole friends with benefits thing?” he asks seriously.
“Because…I don’t think I’d enjoy having the benefits you’d give me removed,” I answer back not missing a beat.
“Just friends it is then,” he says not perturbed and starts eating his lunch.
“You two are weird,” Sophie sighs, watching us bemused.
Matt nods in agreement.
“I’ve got to go, I got a date to arrange, apparently.” I stand up from the table picking up my coffee.
“What date?” Tucker asks looking up at me from his plate. I shrug and walk away as Sophie starts explaining the Jason situation to him.
When I walk into English, a few people nod at me. I manage to hide my surprise and smile weakly back at them. Normally I manage to slip in to my classes unnoticed.
I slump down into my usual chair and gather my things from my bag. When I look back up, Jason is sliding into the chair next to me, the one that Tucker sat in last Friday.
“Long time, no see,” I smile shyly at him.
“Yeah...was it random? Me approaching you like that?” he asks with a shy smile of his own.
“Just a bit; normally people just leave me alone.”
“But you don’t mind? Me asking you out?” he checks. I shake my head at him. “Great. Can I have your phone so I can program my number into it, please?”
I pass him my phone and catch Tucker watching us.
“Was there anything in particular you wanted to do on our date?” Jason asks mindlessly, while he taps his contact information into my phone.
I’m unable to answer him when our conversation gets cut short by the lecture beginning. I rip out a piece of paper from my notebook and scribble a note on it for him to see.
No, what did you have in mind?
He leans over to read it, and then writes his reply. We carry on our conversation on paper.
Dinner. Movie. Bowling. Coffee. Golf?
Golf? I look up and raise an eyebrow at him; he just shrugs grinning. Dinner’s fine.
It’s a date then. Tonight?
“Mr. Hunter, is there something interesting going on up there?” We both look up when the lecturer calls to Jason.
“No, Sir. Just helping Brooke with her notes,” he replies easily.
“Well, Miss Daniels, maybe you should consider taking one of Mr. Hunter’s tutoring sessions if you’re having problems,” he raises an eyebrow at me.
“Of course,” I reply, sinking into my chair to avoid all the eyes that are now on me.
You’re a tutor? I quickly write.
Yeah, extra credit. Do you need help keeping up? He’s smirking at me now. I roll my eyes at him and slip the paper back in my notebook, deciding to start paying attention to class.
* * *
“How was it? Where did you go? What’s he like? Did he kiss you?” Sophie doesn’t even wait for me to close the door before she throws her questions at me, bouncing on her bed excitedly.
“Good, FB’s, sweet, yes,” I answer all her questions while stripping my jacket off and collapsing on my bed while she screams and claps her hands together.
“Oh my god,” I groan and pull a pillow over my head to block her out.
“Aww, come on Brooke. I’ve known you nearly three years now and I’ve never been able to do the whole girly date run down with you before.” I look up from my pillow to catch her pouting at me.
“Fine. You can question me on the way.”
She freezes at the subject change. “Where are we going?”
“Wear something…pretty,” I wink and get up to grab my suitcase from under the bed. She claps when she notices the dress I’ve selected; there will be no shy Brooke tonight.
We meet Gavin outside the old gym where he hands us our tickets. The building’s full and we have to push our way
through to the bar. We squeeze our way through the crowds as Sophie guides us to the front, getting us as close to the cage as possible. This isn’t the first fight we’ve been to, so we both know that as soon as it’s over, we’ve got to make a quick exit, unless we want a few bruises of our own.
The lights dim as one corner of the cage is lit up by a spotlight, illuminating the first contender. He isn’t one I’ve seen before, but he looks mean and fast. His opponent is Gavin’s friend Jack. The fight starts quickly and like every other time we’ve been here, I flinch with every hit.
Thankfully it’s all over just as quick as it started when Jack knocks the other man out in the second round. We make our quick exit, meeting back up with Gavin outside.
“Are you coming to the party?” Gavin asks us both.
“Of course,” Sophie laughs.
We follow Gavin and Jack back to Jack’s house in my car.
When we get there, the party is already in full swing. Sophie and I quickly fall into the festivities, drinking and dancing with the guys that I have known for years and introduced to Sophie my Freshman year.
By the time Jack turns up to the house, with a two blondes hanging off his arms; I’m more than drunk as I stumble over to him.
“Hey there, Bee” he catches me as I stumble and one of his blondes glare at me now I have his attention and not her.
“Jack, Jack, Jack! Why do you do it to yourself?” I look up at him, closing one of my eyes to see him better.
“I’m not hurt” he assure me. This is something we regulary go over and it still doesn’t sit well with me.
I’m about to start my lecture on how he might not be hurt tonight but he will someday when Dave pulls me away from Jack, twirling me through to the kitchen where a line of shots are spread out on the counter.
“Sophie!” I shout, not taking my eyes off Dave as he fills the shots glasses with a grin.
“Holla!”Sophie stumbles into the kitchen and pulls me into a hug “What’s up?”
I point to Dave and the shots and we both wait while he turns back to us and leans a hip on the counter, folding his arms across his chest.
Sophie and I glance at each other and grin as we decide which of the drinking games Dave likes us to play, as we try – and almost always fail – to prove that we aren’t lightweights. I just hope that I’m not too hungover tomorrow, you never know with these parties. I pull up the front of my dress, securing my breasts that are now spilling out of my dress and tilt my head, feigning deep thought.
