by Tim Miller
Zombie Reign:
A Fake Zombie Story
Tim Miller
Copyright © 2015 by Tim Miller
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Cover Design and artwork by Meghan Chadeayne
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. | —Edgar Allen Poe
Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Also by Tim Miller
About the Author
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.
—Edgar Allen Poe
Introduction
Thank you for picking up my book. I thought before we got started, I’d give you all a little warm up as to how this book came about. This is in fact, loosely based on true events. The truth, I was along with several others cast in a film to be known as “Zombie Reign.” Over time however, I discovered there really was no film and a list of other problems. The detailed accounting of events can be found on my blog at http://timmiller.org. I won’t bore you with all of those details here.
I did want you to know that I have taken EXTREME creative license with real events for the sake of this book. This story is a work of fiction based on my own personal experiences. So I have done my best to make sure no character in the story directly reflects any persons in real life. Many of the story’s characters are a mish mash of some of the real life personalities I had witnessed.
The same goes for many of the events. Since this book is a horror comedy, I did my best to make it both horrific and funny. I’m hoping I achieved both. I simply ask when reading this book, to put any ideas of who is what in real life aside and just enjoy the story. There are some events that are true, despite how crazy they are. Even as a writer, I can’t make some of this stuff up. There are many other events however, that I have taken to the furthest degrees of crazy for the sake of the story.
So that is enough of my rambling. I thank you all again for taking the time to pick up this book and read about some crazy adventures. If you’re a fan of my usual extreme horror, I tried to include enough death and gore to satisfy everyone. If not, well I understand that too. After the stress of what I experience, this book was quite enjoyable for me to write. I hope each of you enjoys reading it.
Tim Miller
Chapter 1
Clarence Ringo stood in front of the mirror and stretched. It was just after eight in the morning. He was ready for the day. There were things to do and preparations to be made for his film. Shirtless, he stood looking at his reflection, flexing as he admired the definition in the muscles that wasn’t actually there. While others saw a pot belly and man boobs, he saw finely chiseled pecs and abs. Sucking in his gut and sticking his chest out, he growled into the mirror.
“You are the world’s greatest film director,” he said as he pointed at his reflection. “You are fucking unstoppable. You are goddamn indestructible!” He changed poses a few times, flexing and twisting around. Though he hadn’t been to the gym in months, he was extremely impressed with his physique. After a few moments of flexing, he finally walked over and got dressed.
So much to do today. His film, “Zombie Reign” was about to come true. It had to come true. Nothing could stop him now. Once he was dressed, he grabbed a soda from the fridge and a bag of cheese balls before he sat on the couch. The TV was already turned on as he flipped open his laptop, munching away on cheese balls. His cell phone went off next to him. Wiping the cheese crumbs off his fingers he grabbed the phone and answered it.
“Hello?” he said.
“Clarence? Whatcha doin’ babe?” Lisa said. They had been dating for six months and he made her his executive producer on “Zombie Reign.”
“Hey! Oh just working. You?”
“You work so hard. You need to take a break. Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Maybe an hour or two,” he said.
“Wow. Don’t do that to yourself. I worry about you.”
“It’s so sweet how you worry about me.”
“Of course I do. So what time is the casting call? I thought it was this morning.”
“No, it’s at noon. I had to move it.”
“Oh ok. Same place?”
“No, they said they had a meeting there. I found a conference room downtown they said we could use.”
“Oh great.”
“Just one favor though. Could you float me $300.00?”
“For what?”
“It’s, uh to rent the conference room. Its three hundred for the day.”
“Jesus, Clarence!”
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll pay you back once we get our money.”
“Okay,” she sighed. “When do you need it?”
“Just bring it at noon.”
“Ok babe. Any word when we get paid?”
“Not yet. The investor was supposed to call me this week to schedule a meeting. I think she’ll give me a check then.”
“Oh, that’ll be great. You’ve waited so long.”
“Yeah, it’s been a long haul, but we’re almost there. Not much longer now. We just need to fill a few more roles and this will be a go.”
“Sometimes I just can’t believe it.”
“Oh believe it. Our lives are about to change. See you at noon,” he said as he hung up and tossed the phone onto the couch. Lisa was a great lady, when she wasn’t bugging him about money. He was happy to have her though; she took care of everything for him. That way he didn’t have to bother with all the leg work. This was his vision after all; he needed to be planning, strategizing, and realizing this dream. He had just turned the sound back on the TV when his mom came walking into the room.
“Clarence. Are you going to be able to help me with rent this month?” she asked.
“Oh yeah! Yeah, definitely.”
“That’s what you said last month. I can’t keep paying for both of us.”
“I know mom. I told you I’ll pay you back, as soon as I get the money from the movie.”
She rolled her eyes.
“God, I’m so sick of hearing about this movie. You’re forty-two years old! Where’s the movie?”
“I know, mom. Didn’t you teach me to never give up on your dreams? These things take time.”
“I did, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a job while you chase them.”<
br />
“This is my job!”
She looked at the TV and the bag of cheeseballs and shook her head.
“Ok. Just try to at least help me out this month if you want any more cheeseballs.”
“I will. I promise,” he said as she walked out. Once she left he looked at the time. It was almost eleven. Fuck. He got up and put the cheeseballs away and headed to his car. Well it was his mom’s car, but it may as well be his since he drove it all the time. She had retired from a local insurance company after working there for thirty-five years. She had planned on moving to Florida when she retired, but he talked her into staying in Texas. He wanted her to watch his dreams come true.
As he drove, he thought about all the great things he’d do with his fame and fortune. There had been people along the way who told him he was full of shit. He had no time for such losers. Part of why he was recasting was because of having to fire so many after the last shoot.
Several were complaining about not being paid and having to do their own stunts. One flat out refused. Just who did that asshole think he was? I’m the director. You work for me! he thought. But that was part of the film business; not that he’d actually made any films. These actors all have egos and sometimes need to be put in their place. If that didn’t work, they were out. But today would be a good day. He just got a new assistant director who is excited for this project. It would be great to get some fresh faces to work with.
As he pulled up to the conference center, there was a line of people already going down the street and around the corner. A smile crossed his face as he took in the crowd. This was going to be a great day.
Chapter 2
Chloe Ryan stood in line outside the convention center taking in the other actresses standing around. This was her third audition this week. The other two had been for local car commercials. This one was for a feature film and the lead role in a zombie movie. She loved horror and zombie films, so this would be a dream come true if she landed it. There were hundreds of girls there who were much prettier than she.
Looks didn’t always mean you could act though. She tried to be realistic about her own abilities, and she truly felt she was pretty good. Finally the doors opened and people started streaming inside. Once inside they were herded into the convention hall where there was a platform in the middle with a microphone. They gathered around the platform and waited. And waited. And waited some more. They waited for almost two hours.
Some of the people left. Chloe had thought about leaving herself, but then she thought this might be a test of some sort to weed people out. Finally a door in back opened and a Latino man came walking toward the platform along with a tall blonde. The blonde climbed onto the platform, grabbed the microphone and began to speak, or more like yell.
“Attention everyone!” she shouted as feedback squealed over the speakers. She took step back and tried again, this time speaking with an inside voice.
“Sorry. Attention everyone. Thank you for coming to today’s open casting call for Zombie Reign. It’s an honor to be a part of this project. I know you all have been waiting, so without further ado, here is the film’s creator and director, Clarence Ringo!”
Everyone applauded as the Latino man walked to the mic. He was about the same height as the blonde, had a stocky build and his black hair was slicked back.
“Thank you everyone for coming by. It’s truly an honor to have you all here today. It has been a long haul with this project. Almost eight years we’ve been trying to make this happen. Eight long years of hard work, blood, and sweat. Now we are well on our way to making this film a reality. Some of you will take that journey with us!”
As he paused, they erupted with cheering. He stood back as if to take it all in before stepping back to the mic.
“So we’ll get started with auditions here. They are cold auditions, so we’ll be handing you lines when you audition. I’ll tell you now that you probably won’t hear anything today. We’ll go over all the auditions, and then start scheduling callbacks. Sound good?”
Everyone clapped as he held up a hand.
“One little thing I want to do here. When I say Zombie, you say Reign. Ok? Here we go. Zombie!”
“Reign!” everyone screamed back at him.
“All right! I like that!” he said as he jumped down and walked back into one of the rooms. Everyone began milling about as they waited their turns. Chloe wondered how long it would take to get through this many people. One by one people were called into the conference room. She chatted with a few people who were there. One girl named Liz came up and talked to her.
“Weren’t you at the Toyota place audition the other day?” Liz asked.
“Yeah! I thought you looked familiar!” she said as her and Liz hugged. Liz had gone right before she did at the last one. Part of her wanted to ask Liz if she’d heard back from them, but decided not to.
“You ever hear anything?” Liz asked. “I haven’t yet.”
Chloe laughed as she shook her head.
“Nope. Not a thing. I wonder if they cast someone.”
“Who knows? I just go to these things until I land something.”
“I try to,” Chloe said. “But it’s hard not to think about it. Especially after twenty auditions in a row with no call backs.”
“Yeah. But it only takes that one,” Liz replied.
“So you think they cast someone?”
“Probably. That would be my luck.”
“Mine too,” Chloe said.
Looking around, Chloe noticed there were even kids there to audition. She supposed there would be some kids in the zombie apocalypse. To her right, a couple of people were doing some warm up exercises. Making funny noises with their lips as well as some weird, howling sounds. She hadn’t done that since high school drama class. With so many amateurs there, maybe she stood half a chance.
The ad had said big budget, major motion picture, but she was kind of skeptical. Maybe they had already cast some big names. Maybe they got someone big like Brad Pitt or James Franco! Yes, she was a fan of James Franco, something she often caught hate for. It would still be a dream come true to shoot a film with him. She wouldn’t complain no matter who it was with. First thing’s first anyway. Get the fucking part first. Then she can find out who she’s working with and what she’ll be doing.
By her estimation, she had maybe another month’s worth of savings if she didn’t land a part soon, maybe two. She’d worked two jobs for over a year, saving everything she could so she could pursue her dream of being an actress. She’d been at it for just over two years now. In that time, she’d done a few commercials here and there, a couple of modeling gigs, and a small part in an indie film that didn’t pay.
“Chloe Ryan!” someone screamed her name. She looked and saw a young woman with a clipboard standing outside the conference room. As she walked over she tried to keep her composure. While she wanted to run over there, she didn’t want to appear too excited. She got to the door and the woman smiled.
“You’re Chloe?” she said.
“Yes!”
“Ok, all set?”
“I sure am.”
“Great! Step right in there, the production team is waiting.
Chloe took a deep breath and walked through the door to her future.
Chapter 3
Brody Collins took a seat next to Clarence, Lisa, and Mia, the casting director. Over the past several hours, they’d been watching various actors and actresses come in and read lines. This wasn’t like any audition he’d been to before. When he first arrived just before noon, he was amazed at the disorganization.
“Where’s Clarence?” he asked Lisa.
“He’s on his way.”
“It’s 12:15. He’s late for his own casting call?”
“Hey, this is his project; he can do what he wants.”
“Ok, I guess.” So they waited. Clarence did finally show up around 12:30, by then they had begun letting people in. But Clarence still wasn’t ready. He w
as playing Temple Run on his tablet for almost an hour. When Brody tried to get his attention, Clarence just waved him off. When he was done with that, he and Lisa said they had to talk and went into one of the other rooms. They were there for another hour before he went out to give his big welcome speech.
Once the auditions began, Brody sat next to Clarence at the large table.
“You have a copy of the script?” Brody asked.
“Huh?” Clarence replied.
“The script?”
“Oh, right. No, I don’t have the script here.”
“No script?”
“No, no one sees the script,” Clarence said.
“Why not? How will we do auditions with no script?”
“I don’t want someone trying to rip off my movie. I made up these sample lines. Everyone will read off these.” He held up some sheets of paper.
“Ok then. Send the first one in I guess.”
For the next few hours they saw some actors who did extremely well, and others who were horrible. Some were worse than horrible. The odd thing was, Clarence seemed impressed with everyone. No matter how bad they were, he told them they were amazing. A few people he offered parts right there on the spot.
“Aren’t we doing callbacks?” Brody asked.
“Yeah, but for the ones who are exceptional, I want to lock them in now.”
“They aren’t locked in until we get them contracts.”
“Yeah, I know. Those are coming. I got this, don’t worry,” Clarence said as he smiled and patted Brody’s shoulder.
Brody shrugged and sat back down. It wasn’t lost on him that every one of these “exceptional” people happened to be an extremely attractive female. After dozens more auditions, a girl named Chloe stepped in. Just one look at her and Brody suspected she’d be getting a part. She had short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Other than Lisa, she was the only blonde he’d seen all day. The girl had a huge smile; it was like she couldn’t stop smiling.
Brody handed her the lines and told her to begin. She read them as Lisa read with her. Once she was done she looked at them nervously as Clarence began clapping.
