From the speakers, a children’s choir caroled “Joy to the World!” And for a brief, uncharitable second, joy did indeed possess Ava. It sprinted through her blood, then died just as quickly as the import of his words hit home. “Oh!” she exclaimed softly. “Oh, poor Deenie! After everything she’s been telling people, she’ll be so humiliated!”
“Poor Deenie nothing!” he countered. “Her willful distortion of the facts has gone on too long and caused enough trouble. It has to come to an end.”
“I suppose it does,” she said. “But why are you telling me all this?”
“Because I also want to make it clear that this has nothing to do with you or what might have been between you and me. You should feel no guilt or responsibility for any of it.”
In other words, Don’t leap to the conclusion that with her out of my life, I’ll be inviting you into it. “Then why bother telling me at all?”
“Because you’re probably the person she’ll turn to, and I felt it only fair that you be prepared ahead of time to cope with her. You know how she is. Most of the time, her actions and reactions are over the top. I don’t flatter myself that she’ll be heartbroken when I clear the air with her, but she’ll probably feel she must act as if she is.” He gave a rueful smile. “We both know drama is right up her alley—the tragic princess, and all that.”
“On stage, perhaps,” Ava said sharply. “But don’t assume her emotions are quite that shallow in real life.”
“I’m not. All I’m saying is that they never went very deep with me in the first place. I was a convenient understudy: a stop-gap solution to a problem I suspect she’s still not willing to address. In any event, please don’t let yourself get carried away with guilt if she cries on your shoulder. As I said at the start, you play no part in any of this. None at all. So go ahead with a clear conscience and be the good friend to her you’ve always been.”
“When do you intend to speak to her?”
“Tonight, I hope.”
“On Christmas Eve? Couldn’t you have timed it a bit better than that?”
Clearly exasperated, he said, “I’ve tried. I asked her to stay behind at the house yesterday and she took off with you. I tried to see her last night, but she begged off, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. And today she’s pulled a complete disappearing act. Her parents claim they have no idea where she’s gone or when she’ll be back. If it weren’t contrary to everything she’s said and done lately, I’d think she was deliberately trying to avoid me.”
In other words, more of Deenie’s erratic behaviour. “Well, she hasn’t confided in me, if that’s what you’re wondering. But if she does get in touch, I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.” Ava regarded him expectantly, wishing he’d leave, and at the same time loath to see him go. “Is that all you came for?”
“That, and to say goodbye in case I don’t see you again before you head back overseas. When do you leave?”
“January the fourth.”
He scanned the room, taking in the brass bowl of holly and clove-stuffed oranges on the coffee table, the cedar swag draping the mantelpiece, the Noble fir standing tall and proud in the window alcove. And finally, reluctantly, brought his gaze to bear on her. “How much longer do you plan to be away?”
“My present contract expires in March, but I’ve been offered a promotion which would keep me there another two years.”
“Will you accept it?”
“Probably,” she said, dreadfully afraid he’d see how close to tears she was. It didn’t help any that “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” happened to segue into “Winter World of Love” just then, filling the room with nostalgia and foolish notions of romance. “There’s nothing to bring me back here in a hurry.”
“There’s your family.”
“Oh, I’ll visit. Often.”
“Maybe we’ll run into each other the next time you’re here, then.”
“It’s possible.”
“Ava—”
“I think you should go, Leo,” she said. “I really don’t see that we have anything further to say to one another.”
But he wasn’t done torturing her quite yet. Reaching into the pocket of the jacket he’d thrown over the arm of the sofa, he pulled out a small box wrapped in gold paper. “I have something for you.”
“I don’t want it,” she said, her throat swelling with emotion. “Please, Leo, just go. Leave me alone. You’ve done enough.”
“It’s nothing much, a token of friendship, that’s all. Something to remind you of Christmas back home when you’re baking under the hot desert sun next year at this time.”
There it was again, that word “friendship” which could mean everything—but in this case meant not nearly enough.
He held out the gift. Came closer.
But she shied away, her composure so fragile she could almost hear it splintering.
Accepting her rejection, he shrugged and placed the package on top of the others already stacked under the tree. “Just in case you change your mind,” he said, then turned and left.
CHAPTER NINE
AVA couldn’t face attending Christmas Eve service at Saint Martha’s in her present mood, not when she knew that everyone on the street would be there, including Leo. So as soon as her parents left for the church, she changed out of her silk-wool dress into warm slacks and a sweater, borrowed her mother’s down-filled jacket, and took Jason for a walk along the lakefront. The overcast sky had cleared somewhat, reducing the snow to an occasional flurry and allowing glimpses of moonlight to flit between ragged streamers of cloud. The air had an unmistakably northern bite to it, sharp and pine-scented.
This was Owen’s Lake as she’d always known it, the place where she’d always thought she belonged. This was Christmas, pristine and perfect, just as she yearned to experience it when she was thousands of miles away and living in a culture which didn’t recognize the traditional celebrations she’d grown up with. And she could hardly wait to get away from both!
I hate you, Leo Ferrante! she thought balefully, as she passed the big white house where he’d grown up. You’ve spoilt everything that mattered to me. Home, the holidays, and my friendship with Deenie.
But he hadn’t done it alone, and that was what grieved her the most. She’d been his accomplice, every step of the way, as much the instrument of her present misery as he was. More so, really. Because he couldn’t have taken over her heart so easily if she hadn’t let him in to begin with.
A few yards farther along the curving path and just as she drew level with the Manville home, she heard a sound.
“Psst!”
Startled, she glanced up and saw nothing but the pale gleam of moonlight on the picket fence running along the bottom of the garden. The house itself was in darkness, except for the winking lights strung along the back porch and one window on the upper floor.
Deciding her imagination was playing tricks on her she hauled Jason up short on his leash and was about to turn back the way she’d come when a shadow, blacker than the rest, emerged from the bulk of the neighboring hedge. “Psst! Ava!”
“Deenie?” she exclaimed, recognizing the voice. “What on earth are you doing?”
“Waiting for you. I saw you coming along the lakefront.”
“So you thought you’d hide out in the bushes to ambush me? Aren’t you a bit past the age for playing such games?”
“I don’t want anyone to know I’m here.” As if that wasn’t already clear enough, she tugged Ava into the shelter of the hedge. “Listen, something’s happened, I need a really, really big favour from you, and I don’t have much time to talk about it.”
“What is it?” Ava asked warily, wondering if Leo had dropped his bombshell.
But, far from sounding or acting as if she’d just received a dressing-down, Deenie seemed charged with restless energy and a brittle kind of excitement. Casting a furtive glance over her shoulder, she plucked again at the sleeve of Ava’s jacket and said, “Can we go b
ack to your place? No one will think of looking for me there.”
Not waiting for a reply, much less agreement, she followed up the question by towing Ava and Jason along with her as she scurried like a hunted rabbit over the snow-packed path to the Sorensens’.
Only when she was safely ensconced in Ava’s room, with the door locked and the blinds drawn, would she elaborate further. “Brace yourself, girlfriend,” she began, curling up at one end of the bed, the way she used to when they were teenagers trading adolescent secrets. “What I’m about to tell you is going to come as a bit of a blow. I’m running off to get married.”
“No, you’re not,” Ava said flatly. “I already spoke to Leo. I know he’s not in love with you.”
“Leo?” Deenie’s eyes grew wide with astonishment. “What’s he got to do with any of this?”
“Nothing. That’s my whole point.”
“But I didn’t say I was marrying him, silly!” Her face lit up in a dazzling smile and she hugged herself in unfeigned delight. “Oh, Ava, the most incredible, wonderful thing has happened! Marcus and I are together again. He phoned me yesterday afternoon from La Guardia to tell me he was catching the redeye to Denver, and from there to Vancouver, and that he’d be landing at Skellington Airport at eleven-forty this morning.”
“So that’s where you were!”
“Huh?”
“You disappeared without a word to anyone, Deenie. Your parents were worried.”
“They’d have been more worried if they’d known what I was up to! My mother’s going to throw a hissy fit when she finds out I’m marrying Marcus. She doesn’t think male dancers make good husband material.”
“I see. So what’s this huge favour you want of me?”
“Well, we’re eloping tonight. We’ll fly to Las Vegas to get married, then join the rest of the company in Chile next week.” She grasped Ava’s hands in the first show of genuine delight since their reunion. “We’re going to be partners again, in every sense of the word. As soon as the company doctor gives me the all-clear on my ankle, we’ll be dancing together again—but as man and wife this time.”
“And?”
“And I want you to explain to my parents. You’ll do it so much better than I will.”
Ava let out a squeak of stunned laughter. “You must be joking!”
“No,” Deenie said in an injured tone. “I’ve never been more serious. Look, Ava, this isn’t a decision I’ve made on the spur of the moment. Marcus and I have been in touch constantly over the last week or so. Remember the night of the dinner party, when you came looking for me in my bedroom? I’d been on the phone with him then.”
“What I remember is that I found you in tears.”
“Because he’d been phoning nearly every day, begging me to come back to him, but never once offering me the kind of commitment I wanted, and I was afraid he never would.”
“So you used Leo as a bargaining chip?” Try though she might, Ava couldn’t mask her dismay.
“No more than he used me—perhaps not as a ‘bargaining chip’ as you so quaintly put it, but certainly as a diversion to relieve the boredom of being laid up with a bad back for so long.”
“And the Markovs?”
She made a face. “Okay, so I used them, too.”
“And that whole business of looking at the house yesterday was just another part of the plan? You conned Leo into meeting you there, then showed up with people you knew would run to Marcus with the tale of how you were on the brink of setting up house?”
“What do you want me to say? I’m used to giving a convincing performance.”
“You’re a brat, Deenie, and I’m furious with myself for having let you string me along like this.”
“Well, there wouldn’t have been much point in putting on an act if I went around telling people that’s all it was, now would there?”
“Rationalize your behaviour any way you like. My answer remains the same regardless. I absolutely will not act as the go-between here. You’ll have to tell your parents the truth yourself.”
“I can’t. My mother will weep copious tears and my father will look as if I’ve driven a stake through his heart. But you’ve always been so good with words and with people’s feelings, Ava. It’s why you make such a fabulous nurse.”
“Buttering me up isn’t going to work, Deenie. I won’t do it, and you have no right asking me to. For once in your life, you’re going to have to clean up your own mess.”
“Perhaps,” Deenie said, a distinct chill entering her voice, “I haven’t made my position clear. My lover—my true love—is waiting for me in the departure lounge at Skellington Airport. I came too close to losing him once already. I don’t intend to risk having it happen again by missing our flight.”
“If he was half the man you think he is, he wouldn’t be lurking in the next town and letting you face this alone. If he really loved you—”
“The way you love Leo, Ava?” Deenie’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, please! Spare me the naïve, wide-eyed stare! Do you think I haven’t noticed the way you are around him, circling like some timid animal afraid to get too close, and either blushing like a rose every time he looks at you, or practically falling into a dead faint?”
“You always did have a vivid imagination, Deenie,” Ava retorted, feeling the betraying blood surge into her cheeks.
“And you always were a rotten liar, though why you feel you have to fib to me I can’t imagine. Listen, maybe you care about him, and maybe you don’t. That isn’t the real issue, is it? What matters is that you and I have been friends for too long to let anything or anyone come between us. So please, do this one thing for me and I’ll never ask you for another favour as long as I live.”
“No.”
Deenie studied her in silence for a moment, then said, “I really hate it when you get that look on your face. You’re not going to budge, are you?”
“No.”
“Not even if I grovel?”
“No.”
“I half expected you might take this attitude.” She sighed and pulled an envelope out of her bag. “Will you at least give them this, then? Tomorrow, after I’m gone?”
“No.” She was tired of being put in the middle. Tired of trying to accommodate everybody else at the expense of her own sense of decency.
“It’s just a letter explaining—”
“I don’t care. Give it to them yourself. They’re your parents, for pity’s sake! Show them some consideration—some compassion.”
“Good grief, whatever made me think I could count on you?” Deenie flounced off the bed and planted her fists on her hips. “You’ve changed, Ava. All that desert air has dried up your sweet nature and left you miserable as an old prune.”
“I’m sorry if I disappoint you,” Ava said, sadly. “But the truth is, we’ve both changed. Our values are different. We want different things out of life.”
Deenie glared at her a moment, then burst out crying. “I know,” she sobbed, flinging herself into Ava’s arms and hugging her fiercely, “and I can’t stand it. But I can’t help who I am, either. I’d find living in this town about as interesting as watching paint dry. But Marcus and I are two of a kind. We belong on a wider world stage. So please be happy that we’ve finally found our way back to each other.”
“If he really is the right man for you, then I am,” Ava said, returning the hug before asking, “As a matter of interest, does Leo know about any of this?”
“Oh yes!” Deenie rolled her eyes in mock dismay. “I told him this evening after he collared me just before dinner and read me the riot act for letting people think our relationship amounted to more than it really was. He can be a real pain when he puts his mind to it, spouting off about moral integrity and such. Why do you ask?”
“I just wondered.” Wondered if he’d followed through on his decision to speak up, or if he’d slithered out from under the responsibility when he learned Deenie had set her sights on someone else and thereby spared him the a
ggravation of having to play the heavy.
“He’s much more your type than he is mine, you know.”
“Perhaps.” Ava steered her to the door. “Listen, Deenie, the church service must be just about over. Go home and wait for your parents and do the decent thing. You’ve got plenty of time before you need to leave for the airport.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She scrubbed at her face and pulled on her coat. “We’ll be in touch?”
“Of course.”
But it was a bittersweet goodbye, even though neither of them came right out and said so. Because they both knew things would never again be the same between them. Too much deception had eroded the openness and trust which formed the cornerstone of their friendship.
Christmas Day passed quietly. Word that Deenie had eloped with her dance partner percolated through the neighbourhood and added a little extra spice to the roast turkey and plum pudding. Her mother threw the predicted hissy fit and her father hid in the solarium with his orchids.
“Would you be terribly disappointed if I went away for a few days?” Ava asked her parents, after dinner that night.
“Not a bit,” her mother said. She’d seen the unopened gift from Leo still sitting under the tree. “We understand perfectly.”
“Your mother might,” her father declared, “but I don’t. Where would you go?”
“I’d like to drive up to Topaz Valley Resort and do some skiing.”
“On your own?” Her father didn’t look impressed. “Doesn’t sound very exciting to me, spending Christmas with strangers.”
Nor to me, Ava thought miserably. But it beats hoping Leo will show up at the front door, vow his undying love, and ride off into the winter sunset with me thrown over his shoulder—something which clearly isn’t in the cards.
As if she could read Ava’s thoughts, her mother said sympathetically, “It’ll be a nice change. You’ll meet new people, make new friends.”
Catherine Spencer - Christmas Passions Page 8
