by annie nadine
“I can honestly say that he has never been more than a friend in my heart.” She was surprised how much better she felt with Baden near. Even hearing Micah’s name didn’t restart the tears.
“And Eli?” Now this was where Baden was paying close attention. Annie stopped and thought about what he was asking. He could feel her soul stir with Eli’s name and it caused him to feel uncomfortable.
“Am I in love with Eli? I hardly know him,” she answered.
“Do you think time is a factor in falling in love?” He asked quickly after her response.
“No,” she said with him in mind.
“Is there a reason you brought that up as a point or was it to avoid having to answer?” His words sounded very guarded. What was he even doing? Why was he even here? These questions and more played around inside his mind.
“No. I do not love him,” she said outright. But he could feel the uncertainty in her soul.
“But you could love him more so than Micah?” Annie started to feel as if she was being interrogated.
“Tell me, who do you think you may be in love with?” Annie asked a little frustrated.
“I…am not in love. I have just decided,” he proclaimed. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed by his words.
“Oh,” she said quietly.
“Would you ever consider loving Eli?” He pushed the matter. The fact that he asked again after she had already answered annoyed her. If he didn’t love anyone, and especially not her, then why did he keep asking who she was in love with?
“I cannot say I have given it much thought,” she said a little tersely.
“Consider it now,” he urged. She felt so irritated that she lost her patience with him.
“Well, he is kind and thoughtful. He took me in when I had nowhere to go. I could possibly think of worse men to share my life with.” Then she remembered Eli’s life expectancy in comparison to hers and it put a damper on her reasoning. Then the biggest decider came to mind, Eli wasn’t Baden. “But there are reasons I would not choose him,” she finished weakly, losing her steam.
“It seems you have put more thought into it than you claim.” Baden sounded cold. Annie pushed herself up on her arm and stared down at where she thought he was, it was hard to see through the dark.
“You have forced me into an answer and now I am to blame?” She couldn’t believe it. Before he could respond there was a soft knock at the door. She froze, hoping whoever it was would go away.
“Annie, are you awake?” They heard Eli’s voice call through the door. She moved off the bed as best she could in the dark.
“You need to hide,” she whispered frantically to Baden. He remained silent. “Baden?” She whispered again when he didn’t respond.
Assuming that he had hidden, she walked over to the door. Before she opened it she felt what she was wearing to make sure she was covered. When she remembered she was still wearing her day dress she opened the door to find Eli in the hallway with a small lamp. He came in and closed the door. Subtly she checked the room to see if she could spot Baden but she didn’t get much time before Eli spoke.
“Sorry to disturb you. I just arrived home and Garrick informed me of…” He opted not to rehash what had happened with Micah. “I was passing to my room and I thought I heard you speaking.” He looked around the room and she panicked a little.
“I…I was just talking in my sleep. I do that when I am upset,” she lied hurriedly to distract him. He placed the lamp down on the nearest table and came back to her.
“I am sorry, Annie.” Before she could do anything he pulled her into an embrace. She hesitated at first but let herself hug him back. It felt nice that he cared about her and that he wasn’t afraid to show it. “It hurts to lose someone,” he said empathetically. She looked over his shoulder and saw the window open. Her heart sank because it meant that Baden had left and she didn’t know when or if he would be back. Eli pulled away and looked at her.
“Annie, you are freezing,” he said concerned. He ran his hands along her arms to try and warm her. He looked around for a rug but then noticed the window was open. “Why on earth is your window open?” He asked as he walked over and closed it.
“It must have been open during the day but I fell asleep in the afternoon and have not been up since.” She wasn’t sure if that was a lie or not because it may have been the case. Eli latched the window closed and drew the curtains. He walked back over, picked up the lamp and took her hand.
“You should get some rest. It is late and if you so desired we may still start your lessons tomorrow,” he said trying to cheer her. Casually letting go of his hand, she climbed into bed and let herself slip under the covers. She ignored the fact that she wasn’t dressed for bed, as long as it got Eli out of her room quicker. Maybe then Baden would come back. The sheets felt warm where Baden had been laying and it made her feel a little sad.
Eli took a seat next to her and placed the lamp down. It made her heart unexpectedly beat a little faster and she started to fiddle with the sheets, she didn’t want to risk it getting out of control like it had before. In the soft glow of the light he thought she looked quite lovely and had to hold himself back from kissing her.
“Yes. I think having our first lesson would be the best thing to take my mind off today,” she said trying not to think of Micah or Baden. Eli reached out and gently touched her face to comfort her.
“Once he has had time to think he may realise what he has lost,” Eli consoled. Tears started to well in her eyes so he leaned down and kissed her cheek, dangerously close to her lips. She sucked in a breath, waiting for it to be over. What if Baden was still in the room, hiding? When Eli pulled away he kept his face close to hers and she looked up at him wide eyed with fear. Fear that Baden might have seen that but also that somewhere inside of her felt warm from Eli’s touch.
“Thank you,” she said trying to break the tension.
“Sleep well, Annie.” When he said her name he looked down to her lips. She half smiled, positioning them awkwardly to deter his thoughts. The thoughts that were so obviously clear on his face. Why couldn’t Baden look at her that way?
“I will find you after I have eaten and then we can start the lesson,” she said referring to their plans for tomorrow. He pulled away from her and took the lamp from the bedside table.
“Whatever pleases you best,” he said as he stood to leave. She gave him a small smile before he left and closed the door.
Her room was again shrouded in darkness but she still made her way to the door and locked it, resting her head against it in relief that he was finally gone. She didn’t know why but she had the potential to get carried away with Eli.
As she turned to go back to bed there was a soft noise and then someone was in front of her. She was pinned with her back against the door and someone close to her body. Before she could be alarmed she felt his warm breath and his sweet smell. It was Baden.
“He loves you,” Baden said of Eli. Annie thought of rebuking him but she decided not to. If she was honest with herself she already knew it was true, she just wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Baden’s face was close to hers, so close she could feel his breath on her lips. He leaned his arms on the door, either side of her face and pushed himself against her body even further.
“There is something in me that feels inclined to agree with you,” she said breathlessly.
“I do not want you to love him,” he said bringing his lips even closer to hers. She let out a shuddering breath caused by his closeness.
“Why?” Is the only word she could manage but it came out as a sound rather than an actual word. Baden slid one of his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer.
“Because I want you to love me.” As he whispered the words his breath blew into her mouth and it felt like it filled every part of her that was empty. She couldn’t help but lean in to kiss him but suddenly she was left alone in the dark room. She felt a cool breeze where the window stood open and thi
s time she knew he was gone.
Filled with disappointment, Annie slowly made her way over, closed the window and went to bed. She couldn’t even be bothered getting dressed, this day had dragged on too long and it was catching up with her.
Part of her was euphoric that Baden wanted her to love him but then she realised he hadn’t said he loved her. Then he just left when she was about to kiss him. Doubt filled her as she began to think on it more. It felt like he wanted her as a prize of some kind. Everything he did seemed to be looking more and more selfish. Soon she fell into a restless sleep, all the while thinking of Baden.
When Baden knew she had fallen asleep he came out of the shadows of Annie’s room where he had moved to when she had tried to kiss him. He went and stood by her bed, just watching her as she slept. He had wanted to kiss her tonight but he couldn’t, he couldn’t do anything until he was sure. He just hoped that he would be sure before the things he did pushed her away.
CHAPTER 14
As soon as Annie ate in the morning she sought after Eli. Not surprisingly, she found him in the library reading a book peacefully. She walked into the room and noticed there was a space cleared on the carpet for them to practice. The furniture was pushed back so it lined the book shelves and made an outline for their practice space on the carpet.
“Good morning,” Eli said as Annie walked in. He glanced at the clock on the wall then back to her. “Just.” He smiled playfully.
“It is rather late,” Annie agreed, missing the joke entirely.
“Do not be ridiculous, I was having fun with you. Now we must do something about those clothes before we begin.” He placed his book down and walked over to his desk. She noticed some clothes folded neatly, sitting on top of it.
“What are they?” She asked as she approached the desk.
“These are some old clothes I wore when I was twelve. I found them so you would not have to wear a dress.” He held the clothes out for her, pleased with how thrilled she looked. She took them smiling thinking of how fun this would be.
Annie hurried excitedly to her room and changed as quickly as she could. The black pants fit well enough but were a little tighter than expected, as they had been made for a young boy rather than a shapely woman. The white shirt was far too tight and the buttons were strained to their limits around her bust. She squeezed into the grey vest and was glad for it as it helped to cover her more appropriately, though the buttons on that were also working hard to contain her. Seeing that she had no other option for her attire at the moment she decided not to care. It was only Eli that would see her anyway and that didn’t bother her. She was too eager for her lesson to give it much thought.
Annie ran enthusiastically downstairs and into the library. Eli was waiting for her in the space he had cleared, looking up as she burst through the door and into the room. He was dressed in loose, tan pants that were rolled to his knees and a comfortable, white slip-shirt.
“I think you must have had a growth spurt after twelve,” she commented as she inspected her clothing. When Eli failed to respond she looked up concerned that she had offended him. She found that he was also inspecting her clothes. When he realised she had noticed he busied himself with rolling up his sleeves.
“Yes, well. Sorry that I did not have time to organise more comfortable attire but this shall do for now. We will arrange an appointment with Antoinette.” He finished with his sleeves and walked over to his desk to get something. “You may want to tie your hair back,” he suggested.
Without warning he flicked a hair tie over to her that he grabbed from the top draw and she only just managed to catch it. As she tied her hair in a ponytail he walked over and started throwing cushions on the floor where they were about to practice.
“From the look of your groundwork things may get rough,” Annie said as if to prepare herself.
“Do not fret, I shall be as gentle as I possibly can,” he promised. “Now, I just want to see your natural instinct. So come at me,” he directed.
To brace himself he stood with his legs shoulder width apart and his arms out in front of him. All of a sudden she felt nervous and she had to swallow hard to try and push the feeling away.
“Just run?” She asked shyly, barely able to find her voice.
“Do not worry, you will not hurt me.” He grinned cheekily. “Give me your best,” he dared. His challenge made something inside her rise to the occasion and she ran at him without warning.
When she was a young girl she had always played rough with the boys from school in the field, favouring that rather than spending time with the other girls. She drew on that experience and lunged herself at Eli. He didn’t expect her to do that, so as she collided with him he fell backwards and she landed on top of him.
“I am sorry. Are you hurt?” She asked panicking as she lay on top of him. To her relief he started laughing.
“I am fine,” he assured through his laughter. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“Not at all,” she said with a smile.
“Great, again.” He jumped up and took her with him, placing her on her feet. “Now attack me.”
This time she got nowhere before he had her restricted from behind, though he was careful not to hurt her.
“You will not have strength against them so you will have to use creativeness. You have what they want and they will be distracted by it,” he explained whilst still holding her. He tried to put the fact out of his mind that she could be attacked again, as it concerned him to distraction.
“Right.” She took in what he was saying.
“So if you do not get a chance to stop them before they reach you then you may get your chance if they try to bite you or…hurt you.” He faltered before he used the word kill.
She knew it was a true possibility, and he was only teaching her, but that didn’t stop the chills it gave her to think of herself in that situation. She suspected that the training really wouldn’t do anything if she was confronted by a snatcher but she thought it was probably better than nothing.
“So what do I do if they have hold of me?” She asked trying to move out of his hold but failing.
“If you have a dagger with you then you will have more of a chance. If you can drive it into any part of their skin it will distract them. Though that may mean you lose your dagger. In that case you will need a backup,” he explained, sounding as if he was thinking aloud.
He finally released her and walked over to the day bed. He lifted the hidden lid and pulled out half of the velvet lining holding five of the daggers. It was stiff and easily moved and acted as a cover for a lower section. She walked over and looked at what he was doing.
Underneath were assorted chromium pendants, tipped with polished bone. They ranged from crosses to decorative trees with sharp ends, to smaller plain looking daggers. Some were even disguised to suit as a necklace or possibly a brooch.
“What are they?” Annie asked as he knelt down beside him and searched through the box.
“These are daggers you can carry on you without anyone realising.” He chose a cross that had an irregularly large lower part and was looped onto a leather piece of cord. It was long enough that it would sit below her bust and be covered by any dress she wore. He knelt down next to her and placed it around her neck. She took the cross in her hand and inspected it closer.
“So, this is my back up?” She asked.
“And…” He pulled out another ornament. This had the same handle as the larger daggers, except smaller and thinner, and the blade was a little shorter.
“Where will this go?” She asked as she took it from him, letting the necklace drop.
“In your hair,” he said with a smile. She looked at him in surprise then realised the ingeniousness of it.
She pulled the hair tie out of her hair and threw it on the ground. She twisted her hair around the bone until it felt tight enough before spearing it through her hair so it ran vertically along her head. It sat tightly against her head but could easily be
removed if it was needed. The bone was hidden by her hair and the handle looked like an adornment designed specifically for hairstyling. She felt a little uncomfortable with the fact it was bone but she tried to put that out of her mind. Eli raised his eyebrows to show his approval.
“When I played as a little girl my hair tie would often break. I would find the nearest twig and manage it to hold my hair back,” she explained the origin of her hairdo.
One of the boys she used to play along with as a child came to mind, his name was Nathaniel Eddon. He had shown her how to tie her hair back with a stick, knowing how to because he had seen his sisters do the same thing. Every now and then she wondered where he ended up in life.
“I must say, I am thoroughly impressed,” he said, distracting her from her thoughts. He was pleased that she would be well armed if it ever came down to it, not that he ever intended to let that happen.
