by Imani King
"How did you get this in here?" I asked, swigging straight from the bottle.
"You fucking savage, Barlow. Use a goddamn glass." Josh Barton shoved a shot glass at me and nodded towards a cabinet at the back of the room. "Snuck it in two weeks ago, didn't we? That cabinet is always empty and we knew they were gonna be searching everyone tonight. So we just stocked up when Sokolsky's older brother was in town to buy us the liquor."
I grinned, impressed at the unusual forethought from my teammates. I guess if there was partying involved they could manage it.
"So," someone said, coming up behind me and slapping me on the back hard enough to make me take a step forward. Only one person was big enough to hit that hard as part of a friendly greeting I turned around. Yep, Steve Carlson. Our biggest and best linebacker.
"Steve," I said as someone else pushed a shot into his hand. "What's up, man?"
"Tonight? Probably me, later on. So many cherries just ripe for the picking - you know what I'm saying?"
I knew what Steve Carlson was saying. When I didn't respond immediately he started razzing me.
"Oh yeah, Barlow. Heard you got yourself a bitch. Full-time bitch, I mean."
There was something jarring about hearing Tasha referred to as a 'bitch.' Before we'd gotten together that kind of language was just normal locker-room stuff. I had no trouble taking part. And I knew if I said anything I was going to get the 'aww, we just mean a female' line - a line I myself had, I was sure, probably used a few times. Still, I didn't like it being used in reference to Tasha. I looked around for the vodka and signaled one of the guys to pour me another one.
"What?" Steve asked, watching me closely. That asshole always knew when he'd gotten to someone. And up until that point, it had never been me. "How many bitches you called bitches before, Barlow? You gonna go all white knight now because it's your girl we're talking about? You think she's something special, do you? Yeah, I can see that puppy-dog look in your eyes right now, man. Well, listen up. You're gonna go off to college - and believe me, these Reinhardt bitches ain't got shit on college ladies - and she'll still be here. How long do you think it's going to take her to get a little lonely? How long 'til she's hopping on every dick she sees?"
I knew what Steve was doing. He was doing what he always did when he sensed a sore spot - poking it over and over and over until he got a reaction.
"Fuck off, Carlson" I said, snatching a shot out of someone's hand as it was offered to me and downing it in one gulp. 'You're just mad because you're never going to get so much as a kiss on one of those fat cheeks of yours from a girl like Tasha."
"What was that?" Steve boomed, stepping towards me. I did the same, getting up in his face and everyone just piled on and pulled us away from each other before it could go any farther. It was Sokolsky who dragged me to the back of the room and handed me a bottle of water.
"Cool it, Kaden. It's prom night. Don't let that piece of shit get to you - you know he's just sore because he doesn't have NFL scouts swarming all over him like you do."
I opened the water and took a big gulp. "Yeah," I said to Aaron. "I know. I'm sorry, man - actually, yeah, I'm sorry. Here I am getting all steamed up over this shit and I know damn well I gave it to you for months. Karma's a bitch, huh?"
To his credit, Aaron just waved my apology off and told me not to worry about it. After that little almost-fight with Carlson the atmosphere in the room seemed to chill out a little. A bunch of cheerleaders showed up, which admittedly created a handy distraction for the rest of the guys and I drank more vodka. A lot more vodka, actually. I remember looking outside and noticing that it was already dark out - it had still been daylight when I'd left Tasha in the gym. It crossed my drunk mind to go and find her but as soon as I tried to head out someone - I forget who - handed me another shot and started talking about the relative merits of various about NFL quarterbacks - a topic which even my sober self wouldn't have been able to resist.
It was in the middle of that conversation, which involved about ten of us and which none of us were really following, that I felt a hand on my back. A small, obviously female hand. Tasha. She'd come to find me. I reached back behind me and squeezed her ass.
Was it a dimly lit room? Yeah, it was. There was only a single light on, right at the back - we didn't want to attract any attention from teachers. So yeah, the room was dimly lit but mostly, I was completely fucking drunk. When I turned around to kiss Tasha I just...didn't look. It seemed obvious that it was her.
It was only a few good seconds later that the taste of cigarettes actually registered in my brain. Cigarettes? But Tasha didn't smoke...? I stumbled back and allowed my eyes to slowly focus on the person in front of me. A face and a body appeared out of the spinning colors.
Kelsey Richards. FUCK. She was smiling, too. Had she done it on purpose? I took an awkward step forward and immediately felt someone dragging me back.
"Whoa, cool down, Barlow. We don't hit women."
I turned to see who was holding me back. Carlson. Anger tightened my throat. "I wasn't going to fucking hit her!" I bellowed, yanking my arm out of his grip. And that much was true - I wasn't going to hit her. I was just trying to get myself the hell out of there. As soon as Carlson had let me go, I lurched towards the door, determined to find Tasha.
"Kaden, wait!"
It was Kelsey, and she was grabbing my sleeve, trying to stop me. "Kaden! Wait a sec - I just want to talk to you."
I spun around and slurred "Fuck off!" She was lucky I was too drunk to put a sentence together at that moment, because I wanted to say a lot more. Kelsey knew I was with Tasha - everyone at school did. Without the dampening effects of alcohol on my brain I think things would have gotten a lot uglier. Even with the "fuck off" her face was already crumpling into tears and Carlson was already moving in for the kill, wrapping his arm around Kelsey and pointing towards the door, shouting at me to get out. Which is exactly what I wanted to do.
Chapter 12: Natasha
I've never had a night quite so cleanly split into the 'before' and the 'after' as I did on the night of my high school prom. After Kaden left to spend time with his friends I found my own group and we snuck off to the bathroom to drink horrible mixed drinks that Maisie had made and then poured into sports-drink bottles. I took a sip of something bright neon blue and made a face.
"Ugh, Maisie, that's awful! What is that?"
She grinned. Well, it's Kool-Aid. And vodka.
"Did you put any sugar in the Kool-Aid?" Lena inquired after tasting the mixture and making a very similar expression to mine.
We all turned to Maisie, anticipating the answer. "Oh my God - I didn't! Are you supposed to put sugar in Kool-Aid?"
I started laughing. Maisie had grown up in a slightly more well-off family than me. "Yep," I told her. "But maybe you had to grow up in a house where Kool-Aid was a thing."
"At least I didn't mix it with Sunny-D" She giggled, forcing herself to take a sip from the bottle, this one containing a bright red liquid. "Oh God, you guys are right this is disgusting."
"Never mind," Sadie piped up. "There's always the after-party. Besides, I don't want to get too messy tonight - there's already people throwing up on the field outside."
We, after a few more small, unwilling sips, abandoned Maisie's failed attempt at drink mixing and stood in front of one of the mirror, fixing our makeup and hair.
"What about you?" Lena asked me, catching my eye in the mirror. "Are you coming out with us later?"
"I - um, I don't know," I said. "Kaden said he wanted to meet up but I don't know what our plans are."
"Where is Kaden, anyway? He seems to have disappeared with the rest of the football players. Do they have some kind of exclusive prom that none of us are allowed to go to? He's welcome to come with us later, if you want. Sadie's parents are out, we were going to go back there and then maybe for a drive up into the hills? Have some drinks and watch the sun come up?"
It sounded like a decent plan. I wasn't con
vinced I was going to join then - I was already missing Kaden, and that was only exacerbated by what had happened that afternoon - but I told Lena maybe.
The vodka had a nice effect. It had hardly been very much but I wasn't what you'd call an experienced drinker at that age - a lot of my classmates were doing it regularly but my life just didn't allow a lot of time for partying. We headed back out to the gym and danced to a few more songs, all of us in a big, laughing group.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the momentousness of the occasion. It was probably both but whatever it was I found myself swimming in a strange feeling of pre-nostalgia in the gym, dancing away happily and giggling every time one of the balloons broke free and floated down to bop one of us on the head. There was a sudden consciousness that in a few short weeks, this tight group of girls was going to splinter off in all directions. Lena and Sadie were going to college in state. But Maisie was going to California. Andrea and I were staying in Little Falls. We'd promised each other a thousand times to stay in touch every day. Messages, Snapchat, phone calls, whatever it took. But even then I knew it was soon going to be very different - even if we did manage to keep all our promises of constant communication. All our lives were about to start moving along very different trajectories. I wasn't sure if it made me happy or sad.
"What's that look on your face, Tash?" Lena asked, coming up behind me and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You getting all morose about the future again?"
Ha. My friends knew me too well. "Yeah," I confessed. "A little, I guess. You promise to call me and message me all the time, right? We all promise to do that?"
"Yes!" She reassured me, squeezing me tight. "We have all promised. It's happening. And we'll come back to Little Falls all the time - we have family here. So Thanksgiving, Christmas, summer - we'll see each other a lot."
I forced a little smile. She was trying to make me feel better but all I could think was that a few times a year, during holidays, was in no way the same things as having your friends there all the time, living similar lives and knowing the same people.
"Where is that sexy boyfriend of yours, anyway?" Lena demanded. "I bet he'll cheer you up. Let's go find him!"
Where was Kaden? It had definitely been more than an hour - it felt more like two hours, actually - since I'd seen him last. I let my best friend lead me out of the gym. "Don't worry," she said. "We'll find him - he's off with the jocks doing beer bongs or whatever it is they get up to when there aren't any girls or teachers around."
The school seemed to be mostly deserted. It was a strange feeling being in those hallways, usually packed with loud, boisterous students but empty now, and silent.
"This feels weird," I said. "It almost feels like a haunted house or something - it's so eerie being here with no one else around."
"Yeah, totally," Lena agreed. "It's really freaky all empty like this. Did Kaden say he was leaving? He didn't, did he?"
"No," I shook my head. "He was definitely staying here - he said he was going to meet me in the gym but that should have been, like, an hour ago."
So we set off to find my errant boyfriend. I remember how happy I was that day, I remember the relief I felt in my finally trusting Kaden, how sweet and careful he'd been with me. I'd even managed to block out all thoughts of his coming departure from Little Falls and, for once, convinced myself to live in - and enjoy - the moment.
Soon enough, down one of the side hallways on the second floor of Reinhardt High, we heard the sounds of people having fun coming from a classroom with the door closed. A little light was escaping under the door and Lena turned to me, grinning.
"I bet that's them. And I bet someone smuggled in a ton of alcohol."
As we walked towards the door it opened suddenly and a couple of football players I recognized stumbled out into the hall. One of them was having a serious amount of difficulty walking and his friend was supporting him. I don't think they even noticed us.
Then we got to the door and peeked inside. I spotted Kaden immediately because he was taller than most of his teammates. He was standing about halfway across the classroom with his back to me. What happened next was unequivocal. There was a girl, a blonde, and she was hanging onto him from behind. It was Kelsey, the girl from the football game. At first, I tried to tell myself that it was a friendly gesture but then Kaden reached down behind her and grabbed her ass. Not a pat, a grab. A big handful of Kelsey's ass.
Beside me, I heard Lena gasp softly. She grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me away, but I seemed to be frozen to the spot. I could not take my eyes off what I was seeing, even as my stomach dropped into my feet and a feeling of mounting horror came over me. I watched Kaden turn around and start kissing Kelsey. Again, not a peck on the cheek. A deep, slow, full-on kiss. The kind he'd given me mere hours before. His hands were all over her.
The next thing I knew, Lena was dragging me down the hall, swearing. "That piece of shit. That motherfucker! Fuck him. Fuck him, Tasha! You're way too good for him!"
Everything was a blur. I nearly tripped a few times - not because I was drunk but because my limbs didn't seem to be working properly. It was like too much of my brain was occupied with processing what I'd just seen. I hung back, silent and stiff, as Lena explained to the rest of the group what we'd just seen.
"We're leaving," she announced as my friends all crowded around me with gentle hugs and support. It was probably only their presence that meant I was able to hold it together long enough to make it out to the limo we'd rented for the night. Once we were in the limo, however, I immediately yelled at the driver to pull over and leaped out onto the edge of the road, bent over double, to violently throw-up. Andrea and Lena stood on either side of me, stroking my hair.
"It's OK, Tash," Andrea said. "Just let it out, it's OK. We're here."
As soon as I was finished puking I sank to my knees in the gravel as the reality of what I'd seen in that classroom sunk in. It was Kaden. I wasn't mistaking him for someone else. It was Kaden with his hands casually all over Kelsey, as if the afternoon we'd just spent together hadn't meant a thing.
"Oh my God," I wailed, covering my face with my hands as the sobs poured uncontrollably out of me. "Oh my God. That was Kaden! That was him!"
To their credit, my friends stayed with me. They didn't try to coax me back into the limo or listen to the driver when he started getting impatient with us. They just stayed next to me, putting their hands on my shoulders, stroking my hair, telling me they were right there. It took a long time for me to calm down, too. A long time for my ugly sobs to ebb into deep, shuddering breaths. When I stood up my knees were studded with gravel and my mouth tasted of vomit. Someone handed me a bottle of water without my having to ask and someone else brushed off my knees. Then they helped me back into the limo and I lay down across Lena's lap, despairing.
"Where do you want to go?" Sadie asked as the driver pulled back onto the road. "Because we're with you tonight, Tasha. And if you don't give us some directions I think we're all going to end up charged with murder before the night is out."
I looked up, assuming she was joking but her face was deadly serious. "No," she said. "I'm not joking. I hate him. I fucking hate Kaden Barlow."
There was general affirmative murmuring and nodding and I burst into tears again - tears of appreciation.
"Thank you guys," I blubbed, wiping the tears and snot off my face with my wrist. "Thank you so much for just...for just..."
"Tasha," Lena said, holding my face up so she could look me in the eyes. "Where do you think we would be? Where would you be if someone had done this to me? Or to any of us? Here, right? Well, that's where we are. Here, with you. And we're not going anywhere. So tell me what you want to do tonight and we're with you."
What did I want to do? I wanted to turn back the clock an hour, maybe two. I wanted to have that image, the one I could not get out of my mind, of Kaden's hand on Kelsey's ass, out of my mind. But I couldn't have those things. I didn't want to be around anybo
dy except my friends. So no parties. No driving up to the hills, either, because that would just remind me of the afternoon I'd just spent there, in Kaden's arms.
"You know what?" I asked, looking around at my friends, at all of their faces shrouded with concern. I'd told them all about what happened with Kaden in the hills. "I'm still sore. From this afternoon. I'm still sore."
Many arms were around me. Lena punched the limo door hard enough to earn a rebuke from the driver.
"FUCK HIM!" She yelled, rolling down the window and leaning out to scream it louder: "FUCK KADEN BARLOW!"
I smiled at that. "Come on then, Sadie whispered comfortingly. "Tell us what we're doing tonight, Tasha. And don't say dropping you off at home because that's not happening."
That kind of was what I wanted. To be left alone so I didn't have to suffer the embarrassment of my humiliation in front of anyone else. But I knew that that option was out and deep down I knew it was the wrong one anyway. The last thing I needed was to be left alone.
"Your parents aren't home tonight, right?" I asked Sadie, sniffling and wiping my nose again.
"Nope. Won't be back until tomorrow night, actually. You want to hire some male strippers and invite them over, Tash?"
She was joking. "Actually," I said, taking a deep, wobbly breath. "I kind of just want to hang out like we used to do in middle school."
"A sleepover?" Lena asked, her eyes lighting up. "Yeah! A sleepover. That is an excellent idea, Tasha. And let's make cookies, too. Is the grocery store still open?"
The grocery store was still open. And that is how a group of teenage girls in fancy prom dresses and too much makeup ended up wandering the aisles of Hawley's Grovery at 11:45 p.m. on our prom night, filling the cart with anything and everything we desired.
"Hop on!" Andrea instructed, nodding at the front of the shopping cart. I hopped on and she raced down the aisle, narrowly missing a display of vitamins at the other end.
