by Sandy James
Or better yet, the suggestion that he marry Beth.
Instead, she just sat there, her hands folded and resting on the manila folder on her lap. Inside the folder were papers they needed to fill out and bring back to Alexis. He knew those didn’t bother her. What did were the bombs Alexis had dropped.
He couldn’t stand the silence. “Tiffany never told you anything about Emma’s father?”
Beth shook her head.
“Not even a hint?”
“Not even a teeny, tiny hint. She always told me that he didn’t want to be a father and that she just wanted to forget.” She turned her head to stare out the side window. “She confided in Mom, not me.”
The sadness in her voice tore at his heart. He wondered if part of the pain was because she hadn’t truly had a chance to grieve for her sister. Within days of Tiffany’s death, Beth had been back in Cloverleaf and taking care of Emma. Now she had to be hurting that her sister had kept her in the dark about Emma’s father. Knowing how much Beth had done for Tiffany, protecting her from their mother’s harsh criticism, she had to feel betrayed that Tiffany had turned to Carol with such a big secret.
Robert reached over to take her hand in his.
Beth let out a little sigh. “I made a lot of assumptions, which were obviously wrong, especially if Mom knew.”
“Such as?”
She shifted her gaze to his face. “I thought Tiffany might not even know the guy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tiff was kind of, um, wild. If she was in the mood, she’d pick up some guy at a bar and…” Her shoulders rose in a shrug. “It wouldn’t have been the first time she’d had sex with a man she didn’t even know.”
“I see.”
“I hate myself for thinking that about her, especially because she’d cleaned up her act.”
Robert squeezed her hand, not knowing what to say. Beth had spoken of Tiffany often over the years, usually expressing her concern about her baby sister’s self-destructive lifestyle. He could understand why she’d assumed Tiffany might not know Emma’s father.
“I’ll call Mom tonight,” Beth said with a decisive nod. “I need to know for sure. If she does know, we need to convince that guy to let Emma stay with us.”
“That’s one problem down.”
“One? What’s the other?”
“The house,” he replied.
What Alexis had said about him owning their home as both an asset and a liability to the adoption had hit him hard. He wanted to be sure nothing interfered with Emma being his daughter. If that meant rushing things in his relationship with Beth, so be it. There’d be plenty of time in the future for the two of them to hash out exactly how they felt about each other. The way she gave of herself so freely, both in the bedroom and out of it, told Robert she cared for him. And he’d grown to need her in his life. Without her, there was no reason to face each new day.
Swallowing hard, he jumped into the pool with both feet. “I’m ready to put it in your name, too. Then there won’t be a problem with it anymore. We’ll both be owners of a paid-in-full home.”
There. He’d said it. He’d actually given her half of a five-hundred-thousand-dollar home just to show her how much he loved her and Emma.
So why was she frowning at him?
“B, tell me what’s bugging you.”
“You’re giving me half the house? Just like that. Here, have half of my ultra-expensive, showcase house.”
“Yep. I don’t want anything to mess up this adoption. Emma is ours. We need to be sure no one has any reason to question whether we’d be good parents.”
Robert pulled into the driveway of his sister’s home. After killing the engine and shoving the keys into his pocket, he looked over at Beth. She was still frowning the same way she always did when someone had hurt her feelings. Problem was, he had no idea what he’d said that could have been remotely injuring.
“Now what’s wrong?” he asked, resisting the urge to throw his hands up in exasperation.
He was never going to understand her. He’d tried. God knew he’d tried. Up until she started scowling at him, he’d thought he’d done a good job of giving her what she needed to be happy.
After all, he’d stepped up to the plate and assumed responsibility for her and for Emma. How many men would do that?
He’d given her a bigger and much nicer home when she’d been in that cramped studio apartment. He’d helped her arrange great child care for Emma during the times when one of them couldn’t be with her. And he’d shared himself with Beth in a way he’d never done before—body, mind, and heart.
Anger sparked inside him. Why wasn’t she thanking him for all he’d done instead of getting pissed? Why wasn’t she excited that adopting Emma wasn’t going to be too difficult?
Beth interrupted his inner diatribe. “Did you get a chance to get the stuff we needed at the grocery store? I gave you that list this morning…”
“Stop changing the subject,” Robert snapped. Then the answer hit him right between the eyes. The grocery store. Beth’s list. “That explains everything.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The grocery list. I remember everything that was on it, and that explains things.”
She threw her hands up. “Oh, well, that clears it all up. For one of us.” With a weighty sigh, she put her hands on her thighs. “Could you please tell me why remembering the grocery list explains anything?”
“You had me buy chocolate bars.”
Her eyes narrowed.
Since he knew what was irking her, he didn’t get angrier. “You’ve obviously got PMS.”
* * *
If Beth hadn’t laced her fingers together, she would’ve smacked Robert. But she wouldn’t hit him. No matter how much he deserved it. “Why does every man on this whole stupid planet think that whenever a woman’s upset, she has PMS?”
“You mean you’re n-not close to that time of the m-month?”
His nervous stutter eased some of her annoyance, but she kept her hands squeezed together just in case he said something else stupid. “Did it ever cross your mind that you might be the reason I’m upset?”
“Me? What did I do?”
You want Emma and not me!
Instead of shouting her frustration, Beth bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “Never mind.”
He shook his head. “Nope. You don’t get off the hook that easy.” When he reached for her hand, she let him take it. “Look, B. I only want to understand what’s got you so upset. Help me understand. Please.”
She knew he was frustrated, and the blame lay with her. How could he possibly figure things out if she wasn’t honest with him? But how could she tell him how much she wanted him to love her the way she loved him? There was no way she’d put her heart on the line like that. What if she told him the truth, that she loved him, and he said something thoughtless like thanks?
None of this would be a problem if she were the kind of person a man like Robert could love.
Would Carol’s critical voice ever leave her alone, even in her own thoughts?
Beth tried to focus on the more obvious problem. She wasn’t about to let him put her name on that deed. “I can’t take half the house, Robert.”
He shot her an incredulous glare. “W-why not?”
“I just can’t. It’s too much.”
He pulled his lips into a grim line, lost in thought for a few moments. “So you won’t let me put your name on the deed?”
She shook her head. “It’s your house.”
“It’s our house,” he insisted. “Yours, mine, and Emma’s.”
“You’re very generous.” She squeezed his hand. “And I’m grateful you’d be willing to do that. I can’t let you.” Lifting their joined hands, she brushed a kiss on his knuckles. “You’re such a giving man, Robert Ashford. I thank God every day He sent you to me. To us. It’s just not right for me to take that kind of money from you.”
The man act
ually blushed.
“But I do thank you for the offer.”
“You really won’t let me give you half the house?”
“Nope. No way.”
His sigh filled the silence that settled between them. “Well, then… That only leaves us one choice if we want this adoption to work.”
This was the most confusing conversation she’d ever had. “One choice? What do you mean?”
“You’re just gonna have to marry me, B.”
That’s it? That’s his marriage proposal?
Beth closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. She wasn’t normally a weepy person, but it seemed like she’d done nothing but fight back tears since Tiffany’s death. When she should be doing backflips because the man she loved had just said “marry” without even stuttering, she was on the verge of wailing in anguish.
There would be no sweet, romantic moment, no image to treasure of Robert dropping to one knee as he asked her to be his bride. Instead, she’d have the memory of the businesslike statement that stole away every ounce of tenderness from the proposal.
Beth gave herself an inner scolding. Reminding herself that she was thirty and that she was long past girlish notions of romance, she tried to focus on the good in the situation. Robert wanted to be Emma’s father. That much was crystal clear.
What wasn’t nearly as cut and dry was whether he held the same kind of affection for Beth. Desire? Definitely. But love?
Teaching for years had shown her so many different family situations. The marriages that held no love were the easiest to spot. No way she’d let herself be one of those wives who constantly had to look at her husband with a suspicious eye, nor would she be the type of woman who would find herself searching for affection outside her marriage when her husband grew cold.
But Robert wasn’t cold. At least not yet. If she loved him, if she kept giving her heart freely and let him know how much he meant to her, couldn’t he learn to love her in return?
God help her, she just didn’t know.
“B?” He squeezed her hand.
“Can I think about it?” Even though she wanted to shout that she would be his wife, she had to search her heart to see if she could get past his brusque order that should have been a tender question.
He didn’t pull away, but the hurt was clear when he turned to look at her. “How long?”
“How long what?” From the moment he’d said they should marry, she’d been drowning in thoughts that ranged from disappointed to elated and back again. Her brain couldn’t seem to concentrate on what he was saying now.
“How long do you need to think? I d-don’t mean to rush you, but we should get this s-settled before we start the p-paperwork.” He tossed her a weak smile. “Otherwise Alexis w-will have to do it all over again with your m-married name.”
“Give me a day or two, okay?” she pleaded, despite his clear nervousness. “I just want to think it all through. For Emma’s sake.”
Robert gave her a curt nod. “Anything for Emma.”
Chapter Fifteen
“He what?” Dani leaned forward, jostling everything on the small table.
Beth knew the question was rhetorical, but she answered it anyway. “He asked me to marry him.”
Asked wasn’t exactly the right word. More like told. Not that it mattered. Even though Beth desperately wanted to be Robert’s wife, she wouldn’t accept his proposal when the only reason he wanted to marry her was to make Emma’s adoption easier.
“Weird,” Dani said. “I sort of expected it, but to hear the news is still… surprising. It’s just so damn fast.”
With a shrug, Beth picked up her glass and took a sip of her sangria.
“I mean, you’ve known each other a long time, but you’ve only been a couple since you moved in together. It’s been really fast.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely been fast,” Beth admitted. “Trying to adopt Emma pushed things ahead of a normal relationship.”
“So what did you tell him?” Dani picked up her own glass, taking a drink of her white wine.
Beth had called to invite the Ladies Who Lunch to a night out, but she needed to talk to her best friend first. When she’d pulled up Mallory’s number, ready to call her and Jules as well, Beth couldn’t make herself dial. To tell the Ladies—all of them—that the only reason Robert had brought up marriage was because he wanted to be Emma’s father would be humiliating.
But Dani would understand and not give her those I-feel-so-sorry-for-you eyes she expected from the other Ladies. Once she was able to talk it through with Dani, then she could confide in the others. So when she finally called all the Ladies, Beth made sure to give her and Dani a window of time to themselves. They’d meet early, and Beth hoped Dani would help her come to a decision before Jules and Mallory arrived. Unfortunately, Dani had arrived twenty minutes late, eating up a great deal of their “alone” time.
A rail-thin waitress came over to set their stuffed mushroom appetizers on the table. “Refills?”
“Not yet,” Beth replied. “We’re waiting for two more people. Then we can get drinks all around.”
“I’ll keep a lookout for them,” the waitress replied before flitting to another table in the bar.
“Sorry I was so late, but why’d you ask me to meet you before Jules and Mallory?” Dani asked. “I mean, you’re gonna tell them about the proposal, right?”
“Like I could keep it a secret.” Beth let out a sigh. “I just wanted to see what you thought first.”
“What’s to think? Yes, I think it’s hasty, but then again, you love the guy and have known him for years. He’s a great father to Emma. Marry him.”
Gathering up her courage, Beth revealed her deepest fear. “He doesn’t love me.”
Dani dismissed the heartrending statement with a simple wave of her hand.
So much for empathy.
“He doesn’t love me,” Beth insisted. “He loves Emma.” Finally. She’d said the words aloud. Now someone else would understand why she was rattled by the proposal.
“You’re jealous of a baby?” Dani rolled her eyes. “Of course he loves Emma, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, too.”
“He cares for me. I know that. But…”
“But.” Dani shook her head. “With you, there’s always a but. Shit, I’d love to get my hands on your mother right about now.”
“My mother?”
“Yeah. I want to give her a good smack upside the head. Maybe two.”
“Why?”
“Because she made you think you’re never good enough.” After another sip of wine, Dani leveled a hard stare at her. “You are, you know.”
This whole conversation had gotten too far off target. Dani was supposed to recognize Beth’s fear. Instead, they’d morphed their night out into some kind of therapy session. “I’m what?”
“Good enough. I’d bet my entire retirement savings, pathetic though it may be, that Robert loves you—probably every bit as much as you love him. Everyone else sees it. Why can’t you?”
“Sees what?” Mallory asked as she set her hands on Beth’s shoulders.
Funny, but the friendly squeeze Mallory gave her, added to Dani’s confident tone, made Beth feel a little better.
“That Robert loves her.” Dani moved her purse from the chair next to her.
Mallory sat down and waved back toward the entrance.
Whipping her head around to see who Mallory waved to, Beth smiled as Jules came striding into the restaurant, heavy purse in tow and phone firmly in her hands.
What would she do without the Ladies Who Lunch?
After rapidly touching her screen several times, Jules dropped her purse, took a seat, and finally put her phone aside. “Catch me up.”
“On what?” Beth teased. “The drinks or the conversation?”
“Both.”
The waitress came back as promised. After drink orders were given, Beth figured she should fill the Ladies in on the latest development in
the soap opera that was her life.
Dani beat her to the punch. “Robert proposed.”
“Congratulations,” Mallory said with a genuine smile. “I knew he would.”
“Me too,” Jules said. “Now that he’s finally got you, he’s not gonna let you go.”
“It’s only because of the adoption,” Beth said, taking another taste of her drink.
“Bullshit.” Jules. Blunt as always. “We all knew he’d propose. He just needed to work up the guts. The guy has had a thing for you for years.”
“Ben and Connor wanted to start a pool, but we wouldn’t let them,” Mallory added. Then she stared hard at Beth. “But you still don’t think he wants you, do you?”
“He only wants to be married so the adoption will go smoothly,” Beth replied.
“She doesn’t believe he loves her as much as he loves Emma,” Dani said. “Will you both tell her he loves her? She doesn’t believe me.”
“C’mon, Beth.” Jules took her drink from the waitress. “Open your eyes. How can you not see it?”
“Because I’m not anything near the kind of woman he usually likes.” The sangria had definitely loosened her tongue.
“Oh, now I get it.” Jules sipped her margarita before setting it down and shaking her head. “You’re wrong, Beth. Robert’s changed. Even the guys noticed it. Sure, he might’ve played the field the last few years…”
“Yeah,” Beth drawled. “With lots of skinny blondes.”
“So what? He was a single guy,” Mallory said. “He was also kind of… immature. I think he’s grown up since he went into business for himself.”
“Probably ’cause he’s not around teenagers all day now,” Dani said with a smirk. “Admit it. The men who teach at our school are all a bit juvenile. Part of being a high school teacher.”
“They end up like Peter Pan,” Mallory added. “They never grow up. But I think Robert’s changed.”
“You’re absolutely right, Beth,” Jules said. “He played the field. A lot. But you and Emma mean the world to him. He’s ready to settle down now.”
