by Sandy James
“I’m t-trying to stop.”
The fact that this was their first fight wasn’t even that funny, but ever since he’d been a kid, he’d had this problem. If he tried to keep too tight a rein on his feelings, something would “set him off,” as his mother used to say. He’d start laughing and simply couldn’t stop himself, like some valve had been opened and couldn’t be shut again until the pressure had been released.
Although he wanted to apologize, Robert couldn’t catch his breath. He was laughing so hard his side hurt.
Beth stomped back to the bed, holding up her fists as though she was ready to deck him. Instead, she grabbed her pillow, tucked it under her arm, and stomped out of the bedroom. She slammed the door behind her.
* * *
“Jerk,” Beth said as she pulled the fuzzy blanket over her. “Stupid butthole.”
She’d bedded down in the soft chair she’d chosen when she’d decorated Emma’s room. It was large enough that when Emma grew, she could still sit next to whoever was reading to her. At least it made a good makeshift bed. Beth had curled up on the chair sideways, drawing her knees up and leaning against the back. Although she was comfortable, there was no way she was going to be able to sleep. Not for a long time.
After punching her pillow again, she finally laid her head down. Thankfully Emma hadn’t awakened when Beth slammed the master bedroom door. She hadn’t even stirred when Beth came into the room, fumbling around to make herself a place to sleep. Emma slept peacefully, giving a sleepy sigh from time to time and looking like an absolute angel.
The guest room had a perfectly comfortable bed, but Beth had needed to see Emma before going to bed. Her gaze had settled on the big chair, and she’d curled up on it without another thought. The fuzzy blanket that always lay over the chair offered more than enough warmth.
The only light came from the small night-light and the touch of moonlight that slid through the slats of the wooden blinds. The nursery had an ethereal glow, the toys looking as though they were various shades of gray and blue. Even Emma seemed supernatural in the low light.
Beth watched her daughter sleep, wondering if she could survive losing her. In a short time, Emma had permanently planted herself in Beth’s heart. Her eyes filled with tears again, but she took a few deep breaths to banish them. Not only did she hate the idea of waking up Emma, but she wasn’t one to wallow in self-pity.
But the reality of the situation refused to let up, weighing on her as though she were Atlas trying to hold up the whole stupid world. While she was sitting there, wondering whether Darren was going to swoop in like a thief and steal her daughter, where was Robert?
Laughing his butt off.
What exactly was so darn funny?
Anger accomplished what fear hadn’t by making a few tears spill over her lashes. Her heart was wounded, but she couldn’t seem to indulge in a cathartic cry. She flipped the pillow over to the cool side, punched it again because it felt good to do so, then laid her head back down. Closing her eyes, she let her exhaustion scatter her thoughts until Robert’s face sabotaged them.
There wasn’t any anger left in her, which was why she had an epiphany. Robert hadn’t been laughing at their dire situation; he’d been laughing the same way Beth had been crying. Because he needed the release. She’d seen it before. Many times. Students who got the “giggle fits” for absolutely no reason. Heck, it had happened to her once or twice. Like at her great-aunt Agnes’s funeral.
She and Tiffany had sat listening to the minister ramble on and on about Agnes’s rather boring life. Their gazes connected, one of them sputtered, trying to hold in the building laugh, and then… boom. Two adolescent girls were laughing uncontrollably, gasping for breath and holding on to each other.
Everyone had stared at them until Carol snapped at them to go outside. They’d both been grounded for a month after that, and Carol had made them write apology notes to Agnes’s daughter. That had been worse than being grounded.
Beth let out a heavy sigh. She should go back to bed. With her husband. About to toss the blanket aside and go to her own bed to tell Robert she forgave him, she heard the quiet footsteps. The mountain had come to Mohammad.
Robert crouched next to the chair. “You’re s-still awake,” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
“I couldn’t sleep, either.” He put his hand on her leg and stroked gently. “I’m sorry, B. I d-didn’t mean to laugh. I—”
“I know. I overreacted.”
“I can’t sleep without you.”
“I was just coming back to bed,” she admitted. “And I’m sorry, too.”
She tossed the blanket off and stood. After handing him her pillow, she folded the blanket and put it on the chair’s back. Then she took Robert’s hand and led him back to the bedroom. Instead of crawling between the covers, she sat on the edge of the mattress and pulled him down beside her. She didn’t let go of his hand.
“D-do you know what made me start laughing?” he asked, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.
Beth shook her head.
“We were having our first fight.”
“That made you laugh?”
“It just seemed so… absurd. Hell, B, we’ve known each other for so many years, but we’ve never had a fight before.”
That statement made her think hard. Surely they’d quarreled over one of the houses they’d worked on together. Yet not a single argument came to mind. “You’re right.”
“It just struck me as weird that we’ve only been married a couple of weeks and we were already squabbling, but you still wouldn’t cuss.”
“Your sense of humor is bent, Robert.”
“So I’ve been told more times than I can remember.” He let out a heavy sigh. “We shouldn’t be fighting. Not about this.”
“Not about anything.”
A rueful chuckle slipped out. “Two people living in the same house are bound to fight, B. That’s inevitable. There’ll be times, lots of times, you want to smack me just like you wanted to tonight. If you think we can be married and never quarrel, you’re going to be disappointed.”
Having grown up with parents who fought more often than most playground bullies, Beth nodded. She’d wanted to believe her marriage would be perfect, but even her optimism had its limits. Being optimistic was one thing; being naïve was something altogether different.
“But we shouldn’t fight over this horrible, scary situation.” Drawing her hand to his lips, Robert brushed a kiss against her knuckles. “When things get tough, we need to learn to depend on each other, to lean on each other. We shouldn’t push the other away.”
What he was saying made perfect sense. “We’ve both been on our own for an awfully long time. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that I don’t have to do this alone.”
“It’s weird, isn’t it? Having to always think about what someone else thinks?”
This time it was Beth who chuckled. Weird didn’t even come close to describing how much different her life was now that Robert was in it. Everything was topsy-turvy, and although she often felt as though she were riding a whirlwind, she was exactly where she wanted to be. With her husband.
“B?”
“Yeah, honey. It’s weird.” The sadness of the day threatened again, bringing with it that fear she couldn’t seem to escape. She leaned her head against Robert’s shoulder. “I can’t lose her.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I know. I promise to be Mr. Nice Guy from n-now on. I promise you this, B. We’re gonna do everything we can to keep her. I don’t care how much it costs.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“You should be smiling, Beth!” Dani handed her a grape. “This is the last day we have to see kids. Then we get two months of freedom!”
“I know. I just…” Beth shrugged. She didn’t want to turn into a whiner, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Emma.
They hadn’t heard a peep from Darren since that April meeting. Now it was the end of May,
and all Beth could do was worry. Who in her right mind wouldn’t be concerned with nothing to do except waiting for the bomb to drop?
Robert tried to keep her spirits up, and Alexis was doing everything she could to push their adoption petition forward, but Darren was the obstacle that kept anything from being permanently decided.
She tried a smile.
“You look like someone just told you your mother was in the office to see you,” Dani teased.
“Gee, thanks, Dani.” Beth took the grape and popped it in her mouth.
Mallory gave her a sympathetic look. “We just want to see you smile. I know things are rough.”
“What’s the latest gossip?” Jules said as she breezed into the room. After dropping her heavy purse on the floor, she set down a large brown bag. “Put away that healthy crap, Ladies. I brought gyros from Acropolis!”
“Wow!” Mallory opened the sack. “I can’t imagine they’re still warm after coming all the way from Greece.”
“Smartass.” Jules jerked a pile of napkins from the top of the bag, set them aside, and started passing out foil-wrapped sandwiches. As she set one in front of Beth, she said, “Heard anything yet?”
Beth shook her head and picked up a couple of the napkins. She and Robert had been playing their cards awfully close to their vests, but she needed to open up to her friends. Their love and support meant everything to her.
She told them what she knew as she spread out the napkins and opened up her lunch. “Alexis is trying to find out what’s going on. Darren hired a real shark, or so Alexis calls him. Is that an insult to lawyers?”
Jules sat down and fiddled with her own sandwich. “Not an insult, per se. More of a comment on a lawyer’s morality—or lack thereof.”
Dani nodded. “It means they go for the win no matter what.”
“Great,” Beth grumbled.
“I don’t think you need to worry,” Mallory said. “Shark or not, there’s nothing bad he could possibly say about you or Robert. You’re great with Emma. She’s so happy and so healthy. She’s got a great home with two parents who love her. What’s to criticize?”
“You make us sound like saints.”
Dani spoke through a mouthful of gyro. “You’re close.”
“Aside from a few nights I’ve seen you tipsy,” Jules said, “mind you I said tipsy not drunk, on strawberry daiquiris, I can’t think of anything you’ve ever done that anyone could use against you.”
Neither could Beth. Her life had been nothing but conformity. Following rules and doing what she was supposed to. So unlike her sister.
Although she’d never have told Tiffany, sometimes Beth admired her. Her baby sister wanted something, she went for it. Sure, she got in trouble. A lot. Yet there was no doubt she lived her short life to the fullest, and Tiffany was never one to have any regrets.
No, she left that for others. Like the bind she’d left her daughter in.
Beth had to be honest about one other thing. Tiffany might have done exactly what she wanted to do, but she often left heartache in her wake. What kind of conscience could she have had to care so little about the people she hurt as she grabbed what she wanted like some kid in a candy store?
The teachers at Douglas High often groaned whenever they heard one of the students saying, “YOLO.” You only live once. The motto a lot of kids in this generation lived by, and one that was ruining society as far as Beth and her colleagues were concerned. Well, Tiffany had been the queen of YOLO, and she’d died not even knowing what a hornets’ nest she’d stirred up. Unfortunately, the person who could suffer the most was Emma, the one person Tiffany should have protected.
“I’m not perfect,” Beth muttered.
Dani laid her hand on Beth’s arm. “No one’s perfect, Beth. We just wanted to reassure you that no matter what Darren’s lawyer tries to find, there’s nothing he can use against you.”
“Robert’s every bit as squeaky clean,” Jules said. “You two have nothing to worry about.”
“Besides,” Mallory added, “everyone in Cloverleaf is behind you two. And you know the Ladies are always in your corner. If there’s anything we can do to help, we’re there.”
The door to the lounge opened and the principal, Jim Reinhardt, walked in, followed by a burly sheriff’s deputy.
The deputy held folded papers with a blue jacket, and Beth’s heart leapt into her throat. On every legal drama show she watched, anytime a character was served with a summons, it was exactly like this. She had no doubt Darren was finally making his move.
“Ladies,” the principal said, “I’m sorry to bother your lunch, but this officer has something for Beth.” He inclined his head toward her.
The officer strode over. “Are you Bethany Rogers Ashford, ma’am?”
She nodded before grumbling, “I’m too young to be a ma’am.”
He held out the papers. “Consider yourself served.” At least he had the decency to look a bit contrite when she let her eyes find his.
It was hard to be mad at the guy since he was only doing his job. With a trembling hand, she took the papers. She couldn’t even find her voice to utter a polite “thank you.”
Turning on his heel, the deputy left through the door the principal opened. Her boss looked back at Beth. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have let him come up if he hadn’t insisted.”
“It’s okay, Jim. It’s not your fault.” Besides, it really didn’t matter where she was served with papers. The result was still the same. They would have to fight for Emma.
She stared at the folded papers, wondering if she should read them and try to make some sense of them. To her, reading legalese was akin to trying to decipher hieroglyphics.
“May I?” Jules asked, holding out her hand. “Connor and I have dealt with a lot of legal paperwork, and that’s what you’ve got there.”
Beth gave her a curt nod and handed them over as her cell signaled a text from Robert. The message wasn’t at all surprising.
just got served papers. you?
Since she wasn’t sure if he was with customers, she didn’t call. She merely typed back yes and waited while Jules flipped through the pages.
And the verdict is…
“These are different than real estate papers, but from what I gather, Darren is seeking full custody of his daughter.”
Beth hung her head. “Damn.”
* * *
“Remember,” Beth scolded. “Keep your temper.”
Robert deserved the scolding, so all he did was nod. He wasn’t sure why he needed the caution, considering they were going to talk to Alexis. Darren was nowhere near. If he were, Robert would need a whole lot more than scolding. He’d need someone to hold him back so he didn’t put his fist right through the guy’s face.
Empathy, Robert. Beth had said it a million times. It was just too damned hard to dredge up empathy for a man who was trying to take Emma away from them. After reading and rereading the papers, Robert was fairly sure Darren wasn’t even offering them a crumb like visitation rights. He wanted Emma all to himself.
The door to Alexis’s office opened. “Come in, come in.”
Robert put his hand on the small of Beth’s back, guiding her to the doorway. She hadn’t said more than a dozen words all day, so lost in thought he wondered if she had lapsed into some kind of catatonia.
Despite the heart-to-heart talk about sharing the sorrows as well as the joys, Beth had pulled into herself and wouldn’t lean on him. This was too much for her to handle alone. Hell, it was too much for him to handle alone. He needed her, but she was shutting herself off, keeping herself at a distance that made him worry not only about losing Emma but also about what would happen to his marriage if they lost their daughter.
The assistant had followed them into the office. She hovered near the chairs where he and Beth had sat. “May I get you some coffee? Water?”
“No, thanks,” Robert said, looking to his wife.
She merely shook her head.
; As efficient as ever, the assistant shut the door behind her when she left.
“So,” Alexis began, “it’s worst-case scenario. Darren Brown wants Emma to himself and to cut you two out of her life. Now, what I’m here to tell you is that he’s not going to get everything he wants. Not when I’m on your side.”
“What can we do to help?” Beth asked, her voice tremulous.
“Right now, just be honest with me,” Alexis replied. “I need to know anything and everything that their private investigator can turn up.”
“They’ve got a PI?” Robert shook his head. “Where’d Darren get that kind of money? Is he selling drugs?”
Beth let out a low hiss. “Stop it.”
“Yes, Robert,” Alexis continued, “he’s got a PI. Trust me, he can afford one. His business is very successful. I prefer not to spend your hard-earned money, at least not until after depositions. And only then if something comes up fishy. Something looks promising, I might hire one to take a deeper look.”
“Depositions?” Beth asked.
“Questions under oath,” Alexis replied. “Which, by the way, are scheduled for next week. You’re off school now?”
Beth nodded.
“Then you and Robert can finish before Darren arrives. I’m going to depose Kelly as well since they’re getting married in a few weeks. Although…” After opening the green file, Alexis plucked out a paper and set it aside. “According to his attorney, Darren isn’t going to add Kelly to the petition. Seems a bit odd.”
It did to Robert, too. Why would Darren not want to share his daughter with his wife? Or was it because Kelly didn’t want to be a mother to Emma? Either way boded ill for Emma’s future.
At least there was one big thing on their side. Beth. “Good luck to them trying to dig something bad up on Bethany. She’s as pure as the driven snow.” He gave her a smile she didn’t return.
Folding her hands and setting them on the desk, Alexis leveled a hard stare at Robert. “And what about you? Anything you’ve tucked back deep in your own closet that you forgot about?”
“He smoked pot,” Beth blurted out.
