“I’m sorry,” she said. “I put you through quite an ordeal.”
“As long as it has a happy ending. Speaking of endings,” he said, standing and walking to the window, “our neighbor appears to have given up on the community.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mr. Lucy. He moved out late this afternoon.”
“Really?”
“I happened to see him loading his car and I came out to see what was up. He said he was leaving.” He turned back to her to see her reaction. She seemed happy about it. He didn’t want to pursue it, and even if he did, he thought this wasn’t the time. He could set her back if he pressed too hard. Someday, maybe she would tell him. Without analyzing it further, he knew he would dread it. “And that’s not all,” he said. “There’s a lot more excitement in town. The Slattery boy is missing,” he added and told her all about that.
By the time he arrived in the morning to take her home, she already knew the horrible story. The news had spread rapidly throughout the small community, leaving people dazed with the realization that such a horrible thing could happen in their town.
“All the families are devastated,” he told her. “Their kids seemed to be doing so well.”
“They were all working with Adam Lucy, weren’t they?” she asked as they drove home.
“Yes and apparently he was responsible for uncovering the terrible deed. He got some of the story out of Sheila Cohen and reported what he knew to Bill Carman who informed the police. I guess it was all too much for his sensibilities,” Bart said. “Everyone thinks that was why he left. Can’t say I blame him about that.”
“Is that what people think?”
“Well, why not, Ellen? The man is making so much progress and suddenly, it all turns bad. It must have been very difficult for him to have had to turn them in.”
“Oh Christ.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe that for a moment.”
“Well I don’t know why not. He was a great help when I needed it.”
“What do you mean?”
“He happened to be there when you…you overdosed. He was bringing you a review book for Business English.”
“What did he do?”
He was sorry he had brought it up. She seemed terrified.
“He helped carry you out of the house and rode in the car with you while I rushed us here. He stayed with me for a while and then I found him a ride back. That’s all, but I must say he was very concerned about you and didn’t leave until he heard that you’d be OK.”
She said nothing. She looked out, hypnotized by the sides of the road that seemed to turn liquid as they drove on. Everything seemed so different to her. It was as if she had been away a long time, “as if I died and came back,” she thought. Even her own home looked strange. She was glad to be back, but it all looked so changed.
“Want some coffee?” Bart asked. “I’ll put it up.”
“Yes.”
“Go ahead, sit in the living room. Rest.”
“I’m not an invalid, Bart. It’s all right.”
“Nevertheless, you should take it easy for a day or two until you work yourself back into a schedule. The doctor said so. I heard him.”
“All right. I’ll take it easy.” He kissed her on the cheek and went into the kitchen.
She went right to the front window in the living room and stared out at the street. It was as quiet as ever, but she half expected to see Adam Lucy come walking down the sidewalk. She imagined him in that heavy, turtleneck sweater, moving with a firm stride, the little puffs of breath forming at his mouth, his head high and straight. He would stop in front of her house and turn to look at her in the window.
Something drew her out. She couldn’t help it. She went to the front door and made a quiet exit. Bart had turned on radio in the kitchen so she thought she couldn’t hear her anyway. She walked down the steps and crossed the front lawn to get a better look at the house in which Adam Lucy had worked and lived. Actually, it didn’t look much different now. It always looked deserted, even when he was in it. He did nothing to cheer it up. He accepted it for what it was. He wanted it that way. She should have seen that; she should have realized that meant something.
“Where are you?” she whispered. “Are you really gone?”
Back in her house, Bart was making her coffee. He was probably whistling along with a song on the radio, she thought. He was happy about her being pregnant. All these years, she was unable to conceive, and then suddenly she does.
It’s his child, she thought, looking into the side window of the old house, a window that was more of a mirror because of the reflected light and the darkness within. She saw herself standing there. She looked sad, forlorn, lost, almost as though she had been used and then left behind. Right now, she didn’t want this child, but what could she tell Bart?
“Hey,” he called from the doorway. “What’s going on?”
“I was just getting some air,” she said. “It’s good to be out.” She started back. He stood there looking past her at the old house. “Bart…” she began.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” he said. “Body chemistry. It just changes. Why? Who knows? But we can be grateful, huh? I bet it’s a boy.”
“Yes,” she said. A cool breeze made her shudder. “I bet it is, too.”
Bart put his arm around her and they started for the house. She looked back once more and she realized he would be born and he would grow up in the shadow of that house. It made her wonder if Adam would ever come back.
The thought would linger, sometimes a nightmare, sometimes a fantasy. How many times would she see a tall man in a sweater and wonder? He’s not gone completely, she realized. He can never be gone completely. It was part of the magic and the mystery, but also part of the terror.
She closed the door behind her and went in with Bart to talk about the changes they would make when the baby was born.
Epilogue
As soon as he made the turn onto the town’s Main Street, he could see that this community was experiencing an economic resurgence. A number of storefronts had face-lifts and there was new construction visible everywhere. There was a definite brightness and life here. He knew this was a community with a growing pride in itself.
The sidewalks and the street were relatively clean, and the people who walked briskly in and out of the stores and up and down the avenue looked affluent. Everything about the village announced “upward, mobile middle-class.”
Most of the store owners had put up their holiday decorations. There was a festive atmosphere that was apparently contagious. People greeted one another emphatically; there was music in the air. It cheered him to see such happiness.
He pulled off to the side when he saw the school bus approaching. On the way into the village, he had passed the centralized school system. It was a modern, brick building with a great deal of window space, cheery, open, and rich. He had to pause on the highway and admire it and the beautiful playing fields to the side and rear.
He was proud of the way he sensed these things, proud of the way he always headed in the right direction. It was as though he could smell the possibilities. As usual, the trip had been worth it.
He got out of his car in the village and walked across the street to a cozy-looking luncheonette. All the customers turned his way when he entered. He went right to the counter and the woman behind it smiled at him warmly.
“Special of the day is fresh turkey,” she said.
“Sounds great.”
“The whole dinner?”
“Please.”
She shouted the order to the cook and turned back to him.
“Coffee?”
“I’ll start with a Coke,” he said. She poured it and brought it to the counter. There was something about him that told her he was a man she could talk to.
“Passing through?”
“Oh no. I want to settle here for a while.”
“Really? In business?”
> “No,” he said. “I’m a tutor.”
“A tutor?”
“A professional tutor. I help kids who should do well in school, but don’t.”
“Oh,” she said, “you’ll have plenty of customers in this town. This is a hangout for the high school students, and I know from the way they talk, that a number of them could use a tutor.”
“Is that so? Well, maybe you can tell me a little about the people here,” he said. His smile brought her closer.
“Been here most of my life,” she said. “I can tell you just about everything about everybody.”
“That’s wonderful,” he said.
He began to ask questions.
The wind from the west brought in a solid layer of low, dark clouds and the shadows lengthened and deepened throughout the luncheonette. Outside, the residents of the community began to walk faster. They all sensed an impending storm.
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