I didn’t even think that maybe he was working. I assumed he was done with me, but I was apparently wrong, which bothers me. I don’t know why. Not that it matters, because that’s not what I care about anymore anyway.
“What does any of this even mean?” I ask the sky.
Wyatt touches my cheek. “It means I didn’t want you to leave, Angie Benson. It means I liked having you next to me. It means the next time you’re in my bed with your blonde hair on my pillow, you should stay there. It means I wanted you to stay.”
The connection between us is so strong that it terrifies me. I barely know this guy. He lives in Tennessee, and he rides a freaking horse. He’s the polar opposite of me in every way. Yet, the desire to kiss him is so great. I remind myself that he doesn’t know that because of the night in question, our lives will forever be tied. We created a life, and now both of ours are altered.
“Say something,” he urges.
I say the only thing that matters anymore. “I’m pregnant.”
Wyatt
SHE’S WHAT?
“I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “You’re what?”
“I’m having your baby.” Why does it sound like she just had her dog run over?
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. It’s why I’m freaking here! Congratulations, Dad.” She keeps talking, but I can’t hear anything.
She’s pregnant.
I’m going to have a kid.
I start to go through that night to see how the hell this could happen, but we were smart. Nothing happened that I know of. The condoms were fine. Yeah we went at it quite a bit that night, but I wasn’t even drunk.
This is wrong. I’m careful. Very fucking careful. It can’t be mine.
“Honey,” I say now that I’ve figured it out. Her eyes dart to mine. “I’m sorry to hear that you’re goin’ through this.” Her lips part as she sucks in a breath. “But it’s not my baby. I feel bad and all, but there’s no way it’s mine.”
“Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?” Angie screams each word. “Not yours?” Her voice grows louder. “I haven’t had sex with anyone else! I’m nine weeks. Do the math, genius.”
I watch her foot tap as she waits.
“We used a condom.”
I can see the steam coming from her ears. “News flash! It didn’t work!”
“You’re absolutely positive?” I ask again. “I mean, it’s a hundred percent.”
“Yes, Wyatt. I’m one hundred percent pregnant.” She sighs and then adds, “With your baby,” as if to clarify one more time that I am, in fact, going to be a dad.
“Shit.”
It’s possible, and I doubt she’d come all the way down here to trick me into something. It’s not like she likes me very much or thinks I’m this great guy. If she’s nine weeks, that’s exactly when she was here last time. It’s also safe to assume that my soon to be sister-in-law knows, and she wouldn’t lie—not about this.
“That’s what I’m saying. So, yeah . . . we’re having a baby. You’re the father.” Her eyes pierce through me. “So, now what?”
“Okay.” I start to pace as my mind gets ahold of the idea that it’s definitely my kid. “You’re pregnant. Right? I mean, it’s not ideal, but it’s not the end of the world. We’ll be fine.”
“Fine? How the hell is this fine?” Angie’s eyes start to water. “None of this is fine, Wyatt.”
My need to fix this kicks in. I’m a man. A man who can fix things. So, that’s what I’ll do. “I’ll tell you how. You’ll move here. We’ll get married. I’ll put an addition on the cabin, and then we’ll get things settled. You can always work for my brother. Then, I’ll go back in as an owner so we can—”
“Whoa! Hold up there, buddy!” Angie yells. “Are you out of your mind? Married? Move here? No. No way!” She shakes her head and starts to gasp for air.
I rush over and grip her shoulders. “Easy. Breathe.” She takes a few deep breaths as I lead her to the steps. “Sit. You need to calm down.”
Angie looks at me, and I see it all. Her fears are clear in those deep blue eyes. I’m taken aback by the fact that I can’t stop thinking about how pretty she is. The first time I saw her, I wanted her. It was crazy, since I’ve always been attracted to brunettes with green eyes. It’s no wonder why. But Angie is something else.
Her attitude only makes her more irresistible. We had our one time, and then I knew I had to have her again. When she came back for Zach and Presley’s engagement a few months ago, she was more than willing for round two. The sex was explosive, but more than that . . . I was drawn to her like I haven’t been with anyone else.
She lit me up and then left me burning. No one can blame me there. She was right when she said I never called, but I haven’t heard from her either. I went out to handle the ranch, only to come back and find her gone. Presley told me she took an early flight home, and that was the end of our fling. When Zach let it slip that Angie was coming to town, I figured we needed to air some stuff out, so I showed up. I had no clue the girl was knocked up.
“I’m not marrying you.” Her defiance is cute.
“You’ll change your mind.”
“I’m not moving here either.” Angie crosses her arms.
The hell she’s not. “We’ll work that out.”
“I’m not kidding. I’m pregnant, but that doesn’t mean—”
“It means everything,” I say while grabbing her hand. “It means everything to me. I’m not going to be okay with you raisin’ our baby in Pennsylvania. And that means that everything is different.”
She sighs and pulls her hand back. “A minute ago you didn’t even think it was yours. Now suddenly you want to marry me?”
“I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt you, Angie. But you show up here after months without a word, sayin’ you’re pregnant. I’m not sure what you expect.”
She stands and releases a groan before looking back at me. “I expect nothing.”
“Well, now you can expect me to be a man and take care of my responsibilities, and that means we’ll get married, you’ll move, and I’ll take care of you.”
“You’re insane!” She grips the side of her head. “Maybe that’s how shit works in Bell Buckle, but not where I’m from. I’m not going to marry you just because I’m pregnant. We’re not sixteen and in high school. I don’t need someone to ‘take care of me’,” She does that in air quotes. “The last thing we should do is get married out of obligation. It’s not fair to either of us or our kid. I’ll be fine on my own.”
What the hell is wrong with women? Are they all this thick headed? Or maybe it’s just the females I’m around all the damn time. “Let’s get one thing straight.” I move around so we’re face to face. “You’re not alone. You’re not on your own. We,” I move my hand back and forth between us, “are having a baby. You and me. Not you on your own.”
“I appreciate that. I really do, but I don’t know much about you other than you’ve been in love with my best friend since you were a kid and that you’re really good in bed.”
I don’t miss the tinge of hurt in her eyes when she says the first part. She’s not wrong. “We’ve known each other for almost two years now. You know more than that about me.”
Crap. It really has been that long. We’ve spent that time bickering, annoying each other, or screwing.
“Right.”
“And you know a lot more than the bullshit you spewed.” I challenge her. “I spent a lot of my life in love with Presley, but I spent just as much time knowing she wasn’t mine to have. You know that I would do just about anything for anyone. You’ve seen the way I am with Cayden and Logan.”
“I know.” She finally turns her eyes to mine. “I know you’re a good guy, but I don’t really know you.”
“Just like I don’t really know much about you, other than you really like when I did that thing with my teeth—”
She slaps my arm with her free hand. “Shut your face.”
“
I’m saying we both have a lot to learn about each other. But seein’ as we’re about to spend the rest of our lives raisin’ a kid. I think we should spend the time before that happens—together?” I ask it as a question, but the truth is that I’ll be around for this baby.
I’m not letting my child grow up without a daddy. I want to teach him how to hunt, farm, ride a horse, and a lot of manly things. If it’s a girl, she’ll be a princess, and I’ll make sure to teach her what evil little shits boys are. I deserve that chance. I won’t let her take our kid up north where I can’t be part of his or her life. It ain’t fair, and it ain’t happening . . . whether she wants it or not.
Angie
“I DON’T THINK IT’S SUCH a bad idea to move here,” Presley says as she works in the kitchen. Wyatt and Zach left to go handle some work on the ranch, so since we’re alone, Pres has taken this opportunity to try to sell me on all the ideas she’s concocted in the last few hours.
“Do you know me at all? Do I look like the kind of girl who can wake up on a farm? I don’t like livestock. I don’t do dirt. I’ll die out here because a coyote will eat me! I’m a city girl. I can’t handle the lack of shopping, restaurants, and overall—life here.”
I’ve always lived downtown. There’s not one thing that I can say I dislike about how I live. I have everything I could want.
“You’d have us,” she says while keeping her eyes down.
“Ohhh no you don’t.” I see the game she’s playing. Pres didn’t want to leave Pennsylvania, but she had no choice. I do. I don’t have to live here. I can afford my life fine on my own. Will it suck? Yup. But I can manage. Coming down here would be more of an upheaval than having a baby in Philly. “You can’t use this to get what you want.”
She looks up as she puts the knife on the counter. “I’m not using anything. Look,” her features soften, “you’re up there all alone. Your parents are gone. Your brothers are gone. I’m gone. I want to know my niece or nephew. There’s so much here that would make it easier for you, Ang. You’d have an entire support system. I think you’re being stubborn.”
“I am not!” Well, I kind of am. I know she’s partially right, but it feels like I’m losing everything. “I can’t move here. I can’t give up everything because Wyatt lives here and I live there. What about the bakery? What about my life, Pres? I feel like I’m screwed either way.”
“You have Erin at the bakery. She’s more than capable of handling things for a bit. It was the whole damn reason you brought her on,” Presley throws back at me. “And as for your life? Babe, it’s going to be all about the baby. You’ll see. It’s the most rewarding job you’ll ever have.”
I groan. “I’m not ready for all this. I didn’t want kids. I mean, I did in theory, but the more years that passed, the more okay I was with not having them. Now I’m having a baby with a guy who lives like four states away. It sucks. It’s not ideal at all.”
She doesn’t get it. I don’t expect her to. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. All I know is that I’m truly pregnant and that things are going to change drastically after the little nugget gets here.
Presley pauses and then her face brightens. “What if you stayed until the baby came? Or maybe until the wedding and then see how you feel?”
“I need a drink,” I grumble. “But I can’t have one! I already hate being pregnant.”
She chuckles and goes back to cooking. “You have no idea, my friend.”
“You can shut up now.”
“Whatever you want.” Presley grins and busies herself.
We sit in comfortable silence. I give myself a few minutes to calm down and start to make a list of pros and cons. I can’t even believe I’m even considering this. I love Bell Buckle—in theory. It’s peaceful, full of heritage and beautiful homes. There’s so much history that I don’t even have to look to find it. It’s just not my home and I can find plenty of history in Philly. Here, I can’t find a quick Chinese food place or grab a cheesesteak from Geno’s. I’ll have to cook. My coming here also means losing the bakery. It means dropping the one thing that I’ve really done on my own.
God, this sucks. Already all I can think about is food.
The pros are the people, though. Presley, Cayden, Logan, her family, Zach, Wyatt, and his family. They’ll be here to help with the baby, and they’ve already accepted me into the family. It’s a pretty big pro. I won’t have that in Philly. The Chinese food guy won’t come watch the baby so I can shower. I shudder. That would be gross and creepy. Plus, it doesn’t matter if I have all the cheesesteaks in the world, they won’t give me a shoulder to cry on. I also can’t ignore the fact that when I’m in Philly, I miss Presley and the boys. I would be lying if I didn’t wish we were living in the same town again.
“Pres,” I whisper. “I’m scared.”
When I drag my gaze away from the countertop I was staring at, she’s already leaning against the edge watching me. I know that look. I’ve seen it many times. She’s trying to find a way to talk me off the proverbial ledge. “I know you are. I would be, too. This is a lot for you and I can’t give you the answers, but I can tell you that you’re loved. You would have a lot of people who would help you.”
“Where would I even live?”
Her mouth opens and closes before she lets out a heavy sigh. “You know you can live here, right?”
“I couldn’t.” I shake my head.
She’s getting married in six months. The last thing I want to do is disrupt her new life with Zach. There’s not a shadow of a doubt that they’d welcome me in. But I have to think of not only them, but myself as well. I would kill her. I love her, but living with her isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I like being able to kick off my shoes and eat ice cream from the carton. Presley wants the shoes in a neat row by the door and believes there’s a reason for a bowl. We’re different. I’m more free spirited. She’s more organized.
I need to be on my own.
“Why not?” I give her a look that says everything I thought and she giggles. She knows that if I don’t kill her first, she will off me. “Then the only other option is Wyatt.”
I sigh. Damn him. “You know he was all alpha stupid with saying we will get married?”
“I’m not surprised. It’s not being alpha—it’s being Southern.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning he wants to take care of you. He’s a good man, Ang. He will always take care of his responsibilities. He was raised that way, and his mama raised him right. He may act like a child most of the time, but he’ll do right by you and this baby.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t want to be his charity case. Just because we had sex, it doesn’t mean he needs to give up everything. He can still be a father to our child without me having to move here. I would never keep the baby from him.”
She nods. “I don’t think anyone is disputing that, but do you remember when the boys were little?”
“Yeah?” I don’t know where she’s going with this.
“A lot happens when they’re little. The first smile. The first time they start to crawl or walk. It’s a lot of little things that only happen for the first time—once.”
I don’t disagree with her. “That said, I’m not certain that means I should uproot my life.”
“Don’t you think it would be nice to have help with an infant? He’ll be a good dad, and he wants to be there.”
“I know he’ll be a good dad, Pres. I’ve seen how he is with Cayden and Logan.”
I believe that deep down in my soul. Wyatt made it clear that he’ll be around for the baby. He wants to be involved, and I’ll never begrudge him his own child, but I’m not marrying the man. He’s lost his damn mind if he thinks I’m going to because he thinks it’s “the right thing to do.” Whenever I finally decide to marry someone, which will probably be never, it’s going to be for the right reasons.
“It’ll work out,” Presley says with conviction. “I know it.”
“U
gh!” I drop my head in my hands. “Everything is so fucked up!”
“Or maybe everything is finally falling into place.”
Since I’m not really sure about the rules for pregnancy and coffee, I grab a cup of tea, head out to the wrap-around porch, and plop myself in one of the Adirondack chairs. With everyone still asleep, the house is quiet, and the pre-dawn morning is peaceful. I take a sip of my drink, wince, and make a mental note to ask my doctor about my coffee allowance. There’s no telling what kind of awful bitch I’ll become if I can’t have it, but I don’t want to do anything to hurt the baby in the meantime.
I sit, staring out at the rolling hills before me. I hold the cup in my hand as the steam rises, and then I spot the garden figure I gave Presley when she bought the house in Media. Two girls sit on a swing, holding onto each other as if they’re all the other one needs. After college, I wanted to be sure she’d always have me close (not that I was ever really far to begin with), but seeing she brought me here to her new life, I can’t help the smile.
Presley’s life hasn’t been easy the last few years thanks to my brother. She had everything. A husband, kids, a new business, and happiness—then she lost it all. It fell apart, no, it imploded. Losing my brother by suicide was awful enough, but then I lost her in my everyday life and it was devastating. But she didn’t fall apart.
She didn’t quit.
She rose up from the ashes, and while it wasn’t an easy road, she did it with grace. I know some think otherwise, but I’ve known her most of my life. I’ve seen her weak. I’ve seen her distraught, and I’ve seen her be brave for her kids.
That’s the one thing that I can honestly say about her, she always puts those boys first. They’re her priority, and her choices may not be what I would do, but they come from love. I need to find that part of myself.
Say You Want Me Page 3
