Shopping. Umm, yeah. “I would love that!”
We stop in front of the car, and she pulls me into her arms. “You have no idea how special you are, baby girl. No idea.” Her hands hold my shoulders as her green eyes study mine. “You’re a wonderful woman for comin’ here. I know it wasn’t easy. I know you struggled, but I see how that boy looks at you. I see how you look at him, too. Lovin’ someone isn’t a choice when you find someone worth lovin’. I believe that there are some things outside of our control that force us into situations.”
“Like having a baby?” I ask with a smile.
“Exactly,” Macie confirms. “But you and Wyatt are real. You were faced with an impossible situation, darlin’. I want you to know that I love you as if you were my own daughter. I know you already have a Mama,” she presses her hand to my cheek, “but you’ve got me if you ever need a fill-in.”
My heart swells, and I can’t stop the flurry of emotion that floods forward. Everything inside me cracks wide open. I burst out in a sob and wrap my arms around her.
My mother has never said anything remotely like that. She’s never told me how special I am, not that I can remember at least. She left me when she no longer could care. Not physically, but in every way that mattered. I haven’t spoken to her in two months. This should be one of those times a girl has her mother.
I weep for the mother I don’t have.
I weep for the broken girl inside me who so desperately needs this.
And I cry tears of happiness that I have someone like Macie Hennington in my life.
This is another thing Wyatt unknowingly gave me.
“Don’t cry, honey. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She rubs my back, and I release her.
“I’m sorry.” I step back and rub my eyes. “It’s these damn hormones. I swear, they make me a freaking lunatic.”
She half smiles and rubs my arm. “Wyatt’s told me a little and then Presley told me a whole lot more about your mama. I’m real sorry. I love my boys more than anything, even when they drive me nuts. You’re not without people who love you, Angie. You’ve got a whole town full of Mama’s who will come to your side. Especially if we get to love on that baby, okay?”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“No thanks needed, honey. It’s what family does.” Nothing I could say right now would adequately describe what I feel. She seems to sense that and handles it for me. “I really better be on my way. Rhett wants me to make his favorite meal, and I haven’t done a thing yet. You go on and find out what you’re havin’! Then call me.” She winks.
“You got it.”
She rushes off, and I head home, which is comical since we live on the same land. The entire time she rides behind me, I replay the words she spoke and how she just held me and let me cry on her shoulder. She is warm and loving—the kind of woman you love instantly. I decide right then that I want to be more like Mrs. Hennington than my own mother.
She veers off toward the main house, and I head to our place. Huh. Our place. I really like the way that sounds.
When I pull into the driveway, Wyatt is there waiting. “Hi, baby!”
I jump out of my car and rush toward him. “Hi, honey!”
He gives me a long, wet kiss before releasing me. “How was your day?” Wyatt asks.
“Good. Yours?”
“Better now.”
I smile and he leads me toward the truck. Once we get settled and are on our way, I fill him in on my day. He laughs, rolls his eyes randomly, and comments here and there.
“Oh!” I exclaim.
“What?”
“Mrs. Kannan is putting in a cappuccino machine!” I grow excited again. “She said that she’d been thinking about putting one in, and she heard I know a lot about them. She made me promise to show her how to use it when it gets here.”
He nods, but his eyes stay focused on the road. “That’s great.”
I figured he’d comment a little. I mean, he knows my deep love for coffee. This is about as close to a Starbucks as I’m going to get, and I was trying to open the conversation a little. “Wyatt?”
“Hmm?” he doesn’t even glance my way.
“Did you hear me?” I ask with a little bite to my voice.
“I did. You love coffee. It’s great. I’m happy you’ll have the comforts of home while you’re still here.”
What the fuck?
I lean back in my seat and try to figure out what the hell crawled up his ass. I don’t think I said anything wrong. If anything, I was trying to get him to ask more questions so we could talk about me staying for a bit longer. My mind was truly made up weeks ago, but the last few days solidified it. I’m not ready to leave him. I’m not saying I’m ready to get married or anything . . . just maybe give this parenting thing a real shot together.
Then it clicks. Today is the first time he’s going to get to see nugget—he’s probably just nervous.
We get to the office where I’ll have the ultrasound. He doesn’t really say much, but he doesn’t miss a beat as he helps me out of the car, opens the office door, and makes sure I sit.
“Did I do something?” I ask, unable to ignore it anymore.
“No, why?”
Am I losing my mind? “You’re being distant. I talked about the cappuccino machine, and then it was like boom!” I clap my hands together. “Wyatt disappeared.”
“I’m sorry, Ang. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Okay . . . like what? We talk about everything. I don’t understand why you’re pulling away from me right now.”
“Angelina Benson.” My name is called by a pretty nurse by the door.
I guess this conversation is tabled.
We get up, and he places his hand on the small of my back. I’m half tempted to swat it away, but I’m a little nervous suddenly. She leads us into a room with the ultrasound machine, gives me some quick instructions, and leaves.
I hop on the table and fear starts to invade my mind. I worry my hands, and Wyatt walks over. “What’s wrong?”
“Now you want to talk?”
He sighs and takes my hands in his so I can’t fidget. “Why are you worrying yourself?”
I pull my hands back. “Oh, you can have your feelings, but I can’t have mine?”
“I said nothing’s wrong.”
Right. He really should be more convincing. “Well, nothing is wrong with me either.”
I’m being petulant, but he’s being an ass.
He shakes his head. “Women.”
I’ll give him ‘women’. “Asshole.”
Thankfully, the technician enters. She introduces herself and gets me set up.
“This is a little cold,” she warns as she squirts the goo on my belly. “Do you guys want to know the sex of the baby if I can see it?”
“Yes!” I answer before he can say a word.
Wyatt chuckles. “We’d like it if you can. I think she’s going out of her mind not bein’ able to shop.”
I roll my eyes and look over. With a few clicks on the machine we start to see actual human body parts. “Oh my God! Wyatt! Look!” I wave my hand, calling him closer. His fingers lace with mine as we both watch the screen.
Then, the most amazing thing happens. Our tiny little baby shows on the screen. The sounds of my and the baby’s heartbeats echo in the room as we stare at the life we’ve created.
“That’s our baby?” he asks.
The technician smiles and nods. “This here is the heart,” she says and points to the image on the screen. “Four chambers. All look healthy.”
“It sounds so fast,” I say in awe.
“Is it supposed to be that fast?” Wyatt questions.
“It’s a very healthy heartbeat, Mr. Hennington. A baby’s heart beats at a much higher rate than an adult.”
He nods.
I look back to the screen and she continues on. It’s so cool and so real. This is nothing like the ultrasound pictures Presley had with the boys. Now the photos look s
o detailed since it’s 3D. I can literally see the baby’s body. She shows us two legs, two arms, and all the organs look good. We can see its little face and all of the features are formed. It’s a real freaking baby.
“Okay, now let’s see if the baby will cooperate and show us the goods.” She smiles as she clicks and twists the wand over my belly.
I can’t believe this is our baby. I know I was excited before, but this is beyond my dreams.
“There we go.” She smiles.
Wyatt and I both look at the screen closer as she types: It’s a girl!
“I SWEAR TO GOD, ANGIE,” Presley warns. “If you don’t tell me what the sex of that baby is tonight . . . I’m not responsible for what’ll happen.”
I laugh. I’ve made them all wait for the last three and a half weeks. I don’t know why I wouldn’t tell them, I just wasn’t ready to share, which of course drove everyone nuts. Added bonus.
“I’ve been patient, sugar, but I’m dyin’ here. You wouldn’t want to let an old lady die before knowing what her grandbaby is gonna be, do you?” Macie lays on the guilt.
Wyatt glances at me and grins. “Fine,” I huff. “I guess we can tell you.”
Both of their eyes shift between us and then we yell, “It’s a girl!”
“I knew it!” Presley hurries forward and hugs me tight. “You totally needed a girl.”
“I agree!” I laugh. “Think of all the pretty stuff we’re going to get!”
Mrs. Hennington pulls me into her arms and then Wyatt’s dad follows. “I’m so glad you’re going to give this family a girl! I don’t think I could’ve listened to Macie grumble for another ten years about the boy things.”
He’s such a sweet guy. He doesn’t say much, but when he does, it’s important. I was really nervous around him the first few times, but then I realized he’s a big teddy bear. Wyatt explained that he enjoys the quiet and doesn’t feel the need to fill the world with noise.
Everyone laughs and talks about how happy they are. It’s the first time all of us have truly celebrated anything with the pregnancy.
Wyatt glances at me every now and then, still in his funk. We haven’t talked about whatever is bothering him, and he doesn’t offer anything up.
I thought we’d crossed some threshold, but it seems we haven’t. Instead, I feel like we’ve regressed.
We sit around the table for dinner. The boys are excited to get a girl for a cousin. They offer various suggestions for names, which is ridiculously entertaining. Wyatt grumbles about boys and what they think about girls while I laugh.
“You should name her Belle,” Logan sniggers.
“I like that name!” I say.
“Because we all live in Bell Buckle.” He laughs at his own joke.
“Well, cross that one off,” Wyatt huffs. “Not that it matters if Belle is in the name.”
I glance over at Presley, who gives me a look. It seems I’m not the only one picking up on his mood. “What does that mean?” I ask.
“Nothing.” Wyatt looks over and shakes his head. “It means nothing, I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” I lean in close, drop my voice to a whisper, and place my hand over his. “I feel like something is bothering you.”
“What about Gertrude?” Cayden offers.
“No.” I shake my head. My grandma’s name is Gertrude, and while I love her dearly, it’s not a name I’m giving my daughter.
The boys continue with some of the most horrible names possible. I try to picture what she’ll look like. Hopefully she has blonde hair, like me. We all know blondes have more fun, and get away with more. I hope she has Wyatt’s light brown eyes and his nose. He has a great nose. No matter what, I’m sure she’ll be beautiful. I have faith in that.
“What about Faith?” I say as it hits me.
“Faith?” Wyatt repeats. “You like that name?”
I smile and nod. “Faith Hennington.”
He puts his fork down and leans back. “I like it.” Then he grabs my hand and squeezes. “I like it a lot.”
I start to wonder if I’m imagining all of this. His hot and cold mood swings are giving me whiplash, but right now he seems like he’s okay. Maybe it’s something at work? Maybe he’s nervous about the baby? Or is it because he thinks I’m still planning to leave? I still haven’t talked to him about it because I want to talk to Erin first. It could take a good amount of time for me to get things in order, and I need to know my life is set before I start making any promises. I doubt he would be this upset about that, though. I’ve been pretty clear with my actions that he’s won me over.
Hell, maybe it’s just his man-period.
“Well.” I shrug. “We can put it on the short list.”
We finish dinner and all sit out on the porch, listening to the rain. Zach and Wyatt argue about some football game and then move on to the problem Zach is having with some buyer up north. Presley and I sit quietly, drinking wine and apple juice respectively.
“I keep feeling these weird bubbles in my stomach,” I tell Presley when it tingles for the third time in a few minutes.
She smiles and leans forward. “That’s the baby moving, Ang.”
“What?” I gasp. “I mean, wouldn’t it be like a kick or something?”
She giggles. “Not at first. Not until you’re further along, but that tingling, moving feeling that’s almost like gas?” I nod, letting her know I’m following. “It’s the baby.”
“Holy crap!” I rest my hand on my stomach with a grin. “She’s become so real to me.” I whisper and then worry at my bottom lip. “Pres, what do you think is going on with Wyatt?” My eyes move toward him. “He’s being weird. It’s making me question things.”
I get hung up on this a lot in my mind. With never really loving someone, do I even know what love feels like? I love people, obviously, but loving a man is totally different. It’s things that I never experienced before. He’s the first thought I have in the morning. I wonder if he brought his lunch or if he’s thinking of me, which then usually leads to me stopping by and seeing him on my way to the bakery.
He does the sweetest little things too. The other day he ordered a Keurig and every different flavor of Starbucks cups he could find. I’m waiting for him to hire a barista at this point. Then, he kissed my nose and told me I didn’t need a Starbucks, I had it here.
And then he went back to being moody.
“I noticed . . .” she trails off.
“Maybe he doesn’t feel the same way about me.”
She shakes her head. “No. I know that boy, and I see it in his eyes.”
I thought I did, too. “Well, the way he’s been this last couple of weeks is not love. He’s barely able to tolerate being around me.”
“Love can be so many things.” She shakes her head. “It can be beautiful, exciting, full of so much hope, even freeing, but it’s also scary as fuck. You give yourself to a person in a lot of ways. But you need to talk to him.”
Until the ultrasound, I thought we were there. Now, it feels like we’re pulling away more than we’re coming together.
“I’m not the one with my head up my ass.”
“Uh huh.” She laughs.
“What does that mean?”
“It means we have to go forward, babe. Make him listen to you. If you do nothing else, don’t let him slip away from you. All we have is right now and, apparently, two idiot men that we love,” I laugh as I look at Zach and Wyatt. They’re freaking sword fighting with Cayden and Logan. However, they’re fighting each other while the two boys watch.
“I’ve never been more grateful for having a girl.”
She laughs. “Yeah, I get the dumbass who skipped the awful baby part and is now teaching them all the joys of being country boys, which means more laundry and dirt in my house.”
“Would you change it?” I ask.
“Not one single thing.”
I nod. Me either. Even with Wyatt being funky . . . I wouldn’t change anything.
&n
bsp; “I’m so tired,” I grumble to Wyatt as we drive home in my car. It’s almost midnight, cold, and wet. We hung out with Presley and Zach, played some cards, and I ate my weight in cake.
Presley always has cake. Really good cake.
“We’ll be home soon. I need to check on the new foal at the ranch,” Wyatt explains.
Cooper called him and asked if we could stop by. I wish he would’ve said no, but he’s Wyatt, which means he helps everyone. The Townsend ranch isn’t far from us, but I’m so exhausted that I just want to get home.
“I can’t believe how freaking cold it is.” I pull my sweater tighter around me.
Wyatt cranks the heat in the car, and I shiver.
“I’ll get you to bed soon.”
“Promises, promises,” I joke. “If you don’t start putting out again, I’m going to find someone else.”
“You wish.” He grins.
Back to warm we go. Men are weird. “Worried much?”
Wyatt’s eyes shift back to mine. “Not at all. I give multiples.”
“Oh, please!” I laugh. “I’ve had better.”
“I heard you and Presley talking.” He clues me in. Wyatt’s voice shifts to try to mimic mine. “Oh, Presley. You don’t even know. Wyatt is so good in bed, I about died. He’s the best I’ve ever had.”
My eyes roll so hard I’m surprised they’re still in my head. “Idiot.”
I lean back, look out at the road, and try not to smile. He’s so stupid, but I know that I love him. I need to tell him and then get him to work through this.
“So you really like the name Faith?” Wyatt asks.
“Yup.”
“What about Isabelle? We could call her Belle,” he suggests.
I shrug. “The boys will still call her Belle and make fun of it.”
“Then I’ll make sure Zach and I mess with them until they stop.”
While that sounds fun, I’d rather not give her any chances of being picked on. I went to school hearing all kinds of fun crap about my name. Angelina doesn’t sound like a name that’s easy to twist into a joke, but boys will find anything.
Say You Want Me Page 16
