I knew he couldn’t be as accepting as he had seemed to be. I step out and stare at the two of them for a moment before shifting my look solely to Dylan.
“Okay, that’s enough. He did not rape me. He was eighteen when you were conceived.”
Dylan sputters and shrugs his shoulders. I know it’s not much of a concession. He takes the water bottle from me and then storms up the stairs to his room, slamming his door. I turn to Ryan.
“I have never said anything like that to him. Ever.”
“Don’t worry about it. If he was with an eighteen or nineteen year old, I could see myself having issues with it. We probably shouldn’t have been dating, but we were and he’s the result. I’ll deal with whatever anger he needs to get out.”
I sit down on the couch right in front of him as he sits on the coffee table. “You never raped me.”
“I know,” he tells me, looking me in the eyes. I see his regret.
“You’re not quite three years older than me. It might have been different if you were ten years older, but almost three is nothing, really.”
We are quiet for a long while before I look up to him and see his eyes water as he stares at me. I can see so much on his face right now that I have to fight the urge to pull him towards me.
“I loved you so much. I never wanted to leave you. My dad convinced me that it was the best thing for you. I had no idea you were pregnant. Then when you called me, he told me you were just trying to get me back and I had to stay strong because you were so young. He said that since the state was involved with you, they’d arrest me for statutory rape or something. Even that Simon guy said something similar. I’m so sorry. I should have…”
My eyes tear up as I give in and pull him into my arms, holding him tightly. I’d always thought it was strange the way he was acting, but I never thought it was because of his parents, or Simon for that matter. I thought Simon understood.
“Your dad knew I was pregnant when I called you,” I confess.
He pulls back. “What?”
I clear my throat. “I called you at home first, but he wouldn’t let me talk, so I went to your house. Your dad answered the door. I told him I needed to talk to you, or at least write you a letter, that it was important. I didn’t expect you to take me back, I just had to tell you something. He said it wasn’t a good idea and refused to give me your address. I begged him, and finally confessed that I needed to tell you I was pregnant. I told him that I didn’t expect anything out of you or them, but I thought you should know.” Ryan sat for a long time just staring at me. I grew uncomfortable under his gaze. “I’m sorry.” I blurt out.
“Why didn't you tell me this before?” He shakes his head. “I don’t understand why he’d do that. Unless, he thought I’d get into trouble. What exactly did he say to you?”
I decide to only answer his first question, because I honestly don’t want to relive the latter questions. “Because you wouldn’t listen to me. The first time you called was horrible and then after you calmed down, you only wanted to talk to Dylan.”
He nods agreeing. “And my dad, what did he say, Shay?”
I look down for a moment and steady myself. “Your dad told me not to tell anyone because you could go to jail.” He lifts my chin so that I’m looking at him. “Then he told me to keep my legs closed from now on. I’m paraphrasing, because there was some really harsh language in there that doesn’t need to be repeated.”
Ryan makes a really disgusted noise before standing. “I need to go,” he growls as he heads to the door.
I grab his arm. “Hey, it was almost sixteen years ago. Just let it go, please.” When he still doesn’t move, I say, “For Dylan.”
He slowly turns towards me, taking my hand from his arm and holding it in his. “Shayla, my dad died two years ago.”
I gasp. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I shouldn’t have told you.”
He waves me off. “It’s fine. I just need to process all this. I have no doubt he said that to you. He’s said several things to me over the years that I didn’t understand, but now it all makes sense. I need some time to think. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I nod. “Okay. Drive carefully.”
“I don’t need to drive. I live next door.” He chuckles. I look at him confused. “I bought the old Brammer house a year ago. That’s when I found out about Dylan. Sarah Davidson was the real estate agent. She mentioned you and you being pregnant. She had no idea the baby was mine, but I marched right over to the Thorns and asked them. They didn’t want to talk to me, but after I saw his picture, there was no denying it.”
I knew he’d gone to them, but I didn’t know the circumstances. “Why didn’t you tell me when we talked?”
“I didn’t want you to change your mind about moving here.” He had me there. I definitely would have reconsidered.
“You want to see my house?”
“Yeah, but maybe tomorrow. I’m beat and you need to process, remember?”
“You’re right. Plus, if you came over I wouldn’t let you leave.” He chuckles.
“I’m sure that would make our angry son so happy.”
He frowns, all teasing gone. “I really hate that he thinks that about me.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think he does. He’s just angry. He has a lot of pent-up feelings. I mean, the only man he’s ever known as a father cut all ties to him. He basically lied to him most of his life. Then he finds out about you. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the age difference thing.”
“Right, we’ll talk. Hopefully, he won’t hate me forever.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“What about you?”
I smile sadly. “I could never hate you, Ryan. We’ll work something out.”
He gives my hand a squeeze. “I love you, Shay. Always have and always will.”
I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s totally serious. I believe him, but I can’t tell him I’ve always loved him. It may be true, but I need to guard my heart a little while longer.
Chapter Two
Shayla
I wake up early the next morning. It’s still dark out, but I can’t seem to fall back to sleep, so I head to the kitchen for some coffee and a piece of leftover pizza. I feel like death warmed over. Unfortunately, it’s not a feeling I’m unaccustomed to. This is often the feeling I get after pulling double shifts at the hospital. Thankfully, my new position is mostly days with only a few on-call nights.
I take my very nutritious breakfast to the window seat in the den and stare out to my backyard. It’s hard not to think of my parents when I see my old tree house. My dad spent a month of weekends building the thing. It’s survived well through the years, but Pop recently hired a treehouse expert to make sure it was stable enough for an adult. He also turned it into a mini man-cave for Dylan. He has no clue. I’m actually pretty excited to show him later today.
I’m not sure how long I sit thinking about all the times my parents, Ryan, and I played in this backyard; even Ryan’s parents and siblings were here all the time. Our house was always full and loud. No one would have guessed I was an only child. I may not have had a ton of friends from school, but I had plenty from my parents’ friends who mostly had kids around my age. I never felt deprived or like I was missing out. I loved my life and my parents. I had everything a kid could ever want or need. It was perfect and I want that for Dylan. I’m startled when I hear a throat clear behind me.
“Morning,” Dylan says, his voice thick with sleep.
He looks like he’s had a rough night. I open my arms to him and just like he did as a little boy, he curls up beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist, letting me cuddle him.
“Don’t tell anyone,” he mutters.
I giggle. “I won’t ruin your street cred.” I kiss his forehead. “It doesn’t matter how old you are, sometimes you just need your mom. I know I sure do.”
“I’m glad I still have you. I feel like a jerk for saying that to R
yan. I was just so angry. I mean, I’m not a kid anymore. I know about rape. Sometimes it happens on dates.”
“I assure you that he did not rape me. We were very much in love. I was sad and lonely, but I loved him, and I chose to give him my virginity.”
“Gross,” he mumbles, making me laugh.
“I’m just being straight with you, babe.”
He sighs and tightens his hold on me. “I don’t think I could handle it if I was a product of … that. My friend from school, Jenni, was, and she said she felt guilty, and even though her mom and stepdad loved her, she had a hard time connecting with her mom.”
“I’m sorry that happened to her mom, but it’s never the child’s fault. Please believe me; you were not created out of trauma.”
“I do.” He sits up to face me. “I was worried that’s why you wouldn’t tell anyone who my dad was.”
“I didn’t tell anyone because I knew he was eighteen and I was a minor. I didn’t want him to be in trouble and even though we dated when he was a minor, it wouldn’t have mattered. My parents were gone and I was in the system. I had no adult to say they approved of us. Things were different back then.”
“That was probably smart then.” He takes my cold coffee from me, smiling. “I’ll get you more. Did Maw bring over those homemade pop-tarts she was talking about?” His hopeful grin is adorable and very reminiscent of his father at his age.
“Yep, in the fridge, or there’s cold pizza.”
“No way. I need the tarts!” He takes off running to the kitchen.
Shaking my head, I follow. I turn the corner to see him already popping them into the toaster. “You know, I’ve told you your entire life, since learning to walk, to stop running in the house.”
He smiles big. “Sorry.”
“Sure, sure. Your dad is coming over in about an hour,” I tell him as I look at the clock.
He grimaces. “How bad does he hate me?”
“He doesn’t. He was upset that you thought that, but it’s understandable. You should probably apologize for yelling at him though.” He nods but says nothing. I don’t dwell. “Registration for school starts at noon. You excited?”
“Not really. I do want to try out for football though. Did Ryan tell you when tryouts were?”
“Saturday, I think.”
“Do you think we can find my cleats and gear before then?”
I nod, taking a sip of my fresh coffee. “I labeled the box. The movers were supposed to put the boxes in each room.”
He groans. “I have so many boxes.”
I laugh. “Probably more than I do.”
We chat for a few minutes as we eat, then head to our rooms to get ready for registration. It doesn’t take me long to get ready, and by the time I’m heading down the stairs, the doorbell is ringing. I open it with a smile when I see Ryan standing there. He’s wearing a pair of navy basketball pants and a white polo with the school’s eagle logo in the corner.
“So you’re coach today and not Detective Jacobs?”
“Yep, though I’m going into the station after registration. Is our boy ready?” He kisses my cheek as he enters the house.
“Probably. Want something to eat or drink?”
“Nah, I have a coffee in the truck.”
“Hey, Ryan,” Dylan says as he enters the kitchen. He’s wearing faded jeans and a vintage t-shirt with converse sneakers. I smile at him. “What?”
“Nothing, it’s just surprising to me how little styles change. Your dad wore something like that when he was in high school.”
“I still wear stuff like that,” Ryan chuckles.
Dylan looks down at himself. “Maybe I should change.”
“Don’t be like that.” I laugh and hand him the shirt he’d asked me to press earlier this morning.
After Dylan gets his shirt on and I’ve gathered my things, we head out to Ryan’s truck. The drive to the school is fairly uneventful. We pull up about twenty minutes later. It’s strange to me how little it’s changed.
“I’ll go with you to the office, but then I have to go to the gym,” Ryan explains as he helps me out of his truck. He’s always been a gentleman.
“What exactly do you do here?” Dylan asks his dad.
“I’m one of the temporary assistant football coaches until they find a replacement. Then I’ll probably just fill in and help out.”
“What happened to the last one?” I ask.
Ryan chuckles humorlessly. “He was caught with the head cheerleader. She was eighteen, but that doesn’t really matter to the school board.”
“I’d say not. That’s awful.”
“Pretty much. So, after he was fired, they asked me to fill in. I’d been helping out before it all went down, so it was an easy transition.”
“You played in school?” Dylan asked.
Ryan stops by the school’s trophy case and points to a picture of him next to a huge trophy. “Yep, we won state that year. We’ve only won state twice since.”
“That’s cool. My old team won state a few times. We even had a few students go to the Little League World Series in baseball.”
“That’s awesome. I’m proud of you, son.” Ryan clapped Dylan on the back, making his son smile broadly. “You okay?” Ryan asks me as he runs a hand down my arm.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s kind of surreal. I mean, not much has changed. Some updates, but basically I feel like I’m right back where I was.”
“I know what you mean. I felt that way when I first came back.” He opens the office door for us.
“Well, as I live and breathe. Look who the wind blew in!” Jeanie Montgomery yells as I walk through the door.
“Hi, Jeanie.”
“I didn’t believe Gale when she said you were coming home. Good to see you, sis.” She hugs me tightly. Jeanie is one of Gale’s best friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows every facet of my life.
“It’s true. I’m back.”
“And this must be Dylan. I feel like I’m in 1994 again. You’re a spitting image of Ryan at your age.”
“If it’s my age, then you’d have to be back in 1992,” Ryan smirks. She slaps him playfully.
“Shut up, you fool.” She turns to address Dylan. “I’m Vice Principal Montgomery. Don’t believe a thing these two have to say about me.” She sticks her hand out to Dylan. “Welcome to our school.”
“Thanks.”
We chat for a few more minutes, then Ryan excuses himself to the gym and Dylan and I headed off to find his classes and meet his teachers. The day is full of familiar faces, some I wish I could permanently forget, but others are a nice surprise. By the end of the day, Dylan’s met a few of the guys from the football team and is excited about trying out Saturday morning.
Dylan and I head over to the gym to meet up with Ryan. On entering the gym, we find him in a heated conversation with a woman. I recognize her as Dylan’s English teacher. She looks over to us a few times as she argues with Ryan. I wish I could hear their conversation or at least read lips. The sight in general makes me nervous, though I have no idea why. I have no claim to Ryan.
“Enough,” I hear Ryan yell, his hands go to his hair, pulling roughly. He looks like he’s about to lose his cool. He turns from her and heads over to Dylan and me.
“This isn’t over, Ryan!” she yells after him.
He rolls his eyes and groans. “Ready to go?” he asks us cheerily. No sign of his previously expressed frustrations.
“What was that all about?” I ask.
“I’ll tell you later. How about we go get some lunch? There’s a new place that serves Thai food not far from here. It’s pretty good.
“Okay, but I need to get home soon. I have work tomorrow.”
He frowns. “I didn’t think you started for a few weeks?”
“Officially, I don’t. But they want me to fill out some paperwork and talk to a few people.”
“Who’s staying with Dylan?” Ryan asks.
Dylan chuckles and repl
ies, “I’m fifteen, Dad. I can stay by myself.”
Ryan just stares at our son. He’d yet to call him Dad. Dylan looks confused back and forth between his dad and me.
“What? Did I do something wrong? Why are you guys staring at me?”
Ryan shakes his head. “You called me Dad.”
Dylan blushes. “Oh, uh … sorry. I didn’t reali …” Ryan waves him off.
“Don’t apologize. I want you to call me Dad. It just took me by surprise. I like it, really.”
“Okay. I can stay by myself,” he says, going back to the previous topic.
Ryan nods. “If you want, but I don’t have to be at work until four. I thought maybe we could hang out. Do you like to fish or golf?”
“Golf? I haven’t been in months. I was in First Tee when I was little.”
“Cool, I’ll set up a tee time.”
“Mom, do you know where my clubs are?”
The acceptance they have for each other is heartwarming, though I worry about Dylan blowing up again. It’s to be expected really. I think he wants to let his dad in, but teenagers are fickle creatures.
“Yeah, they’re in the garage. I had the movers unpack that already.”
“Awesome. So you think you can get a tee time, Dad?”
Ryan beams at his son. “Of course.”
He pulls out his phone and calls immediately, setting it up for nine A.M. The rest of the day we spend eating, laughing, and just being a family; it’s probably the most fun I’ve had in years. It’s not that we were an unhappy family with my ex-husband, but this is different. I feel a sense of belonging here; I just hope it isn’t premature. I worry that Ryan will decide this isn’t what he wants.
“You look happy,” I say as I sit down on the sofa after refilling our coffee cups.
Dylan is out in his man-cave, which he totally flipped over. He ran straight over to the Thorns looking for Pop, but he was still on his fishing trip. I can see the two of them hanging out in there for days.
“I am.” Ryan turns towards me. “He called me Dad. I didn’t think I’d ever hear that from him.”
“He just needed to feel comfortable, and wanted. Todd has really done a number on him. I mean, he’s always known Todd wasn’t his biological father and, until last year, he was a good dad. He was at all his games and practiced with him. He really was the perfect parent.” I hate feeling like I’m sticking up for my ex, but it was true. Todd was a great dad.
Vengeance (Oak Grove Suspense Book 1) Page 3
