by Paul Langan
His father sighed and shook his head, pausing as if speaking was a great effort. “All of us been through too much these days. I see you walking around like you got the weight of the world on your shoulders. I know you’re angry at what’s happened. I am too,” he admitted, sniffling slightly. “But if I learned anything since I got sick, it’s that life is too short for fightin’, Hakeem. The world is already full of enough bad things. We don’t need to waste our time making it worse, especially not with the people in our family. ”
Hakeem’s face burned with shame. “I know, Dad. I’m sorry,” he muttered.
“Now listen to me. Tomorrow is my checkup. Doctor’s gonna test me to see if the cancer is still in remission. No matter what happens, your mother and I need you to be strong right now. So I am only going to ask you this once. Can you and Savon settle this yourselves?” Dad asked, his face firm and serious, his eyes unblinking.
Hakeem’s mind snagged on his father’s words. Be strong. The advice pained his ears. Inside he didn’t feel like he had any strength left, not for Detroit or Savon or anything. I’m tired, Dad, he wanted to say. But how could he?
And what about Savon?
Hakeem had no idea what to do with him. For some reason, Savon refused to even blame him for starting the fight. Probably because he was protecting himself, Hakeem guessed. By taking the blame for the fight, Savon never gave Hakeem the chance to reveal the hidden money. But what if Savon refused to point a finger at Hakeem for another reason?
And what about the money? It probably came from robbing stores, Hakeem thought, but he wasn’t absolutely sure. Savon’s words were rude, but there was something else to them. Something sad. Listening to Uncle James yelling in the distance, Hakeem could not bring himself to tell Dad or anyone else what he knew. Not yet. Not if it involved Savon getting in more trouble for something he didn’t do. One way or another, Hakeem had to find out how Savon had gotten so much cash. And if it turned out that Savon was the thief, he would tell everyone then. Not a moment before.
“Yeah, Dad,” he replied finally, trying unsuccessfully to meet his father’s gaze. “It’s like Savon said. Just a misunderstanding. No big deal. ”
“You sure?” Dad asked, moving closer.
The back of Hakeem’s neck began to sweat. His heart pounded like a piston.
“Yeah, I’m s-s-sure,” Hakeem said, trying his best to avoid his father’s tired stare.
Hakeem left the house an hour early. He could not look at his father, knowing the lie he had told. And he could not stand to be around Savon, who sulked in his room long after Uncle James left.
While Hakeem got dressed, Savon refused to acknowledge him. Instead he sat on his bed almost zombie-like, his body completely motionless. Hakeem tried twice to talk to him, but Savon put a Walkman on and turned it up so loud that Hakeem could hear it in the hallway.
Hakeem headed straight to the laundromat Anika had pointed out the night before. She was the one person he could talk to. Glancing in the glass window, he spotted Anika inside talking to a tall wiry young man with a sharp, angular face. Hakeem had seen the face before, the day his family arrived at Uncle James’s house. It had made him uneasy.
Inside the laundromat, a row of pale yellow washing machines thumped and shook loudly. A number of people sat in plastic chairs opposite the machines. A few were reading magazines. One was sleeping. Anika was in the back involved in an intense conversation with the stranger. Hakeem walked back to meet her.
“I told you. I can’t do this anymore, Rasul,” Anika said to the man. “I don’t want any part of it. ”
“Girl, why you trippin’? This ain’t nothin’ new. ”
“I’m out, Rasul,” Anika said, moving her hands as if she was pushing something away. “You hear me? Out. ”
“Hi, Anika,” Hakeem cut in, sensing she was in trouble.
“Hakeem!” she exclaimed, surprise on her face.
“Who’s this?” Rasul asked, staring Hakeem up and down.
“Rasul, this is . . . my cousin, Hakeem,” Anika answered before Hakeem could speak. “He’s visiting for a couple days. ”
Rasul’s eyes narrowed slightly, but then he stepped back. “Anika, I’ll catch up with you later,” he said, turning and walking away.
Hakeem watched as he quickly left the laundromat.
“What’s all that about?” Hakeem asked.
“It’s a long story, Hakeem. Rasul’s my ex-boyfriend, and he’s still trying to get back together with me,” she said quickly, her eyes darting rapidly as she spoke. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you my cousin. It just made things easier. When Rasul gets jealous, he can get ugly,” she added.
Hakeem studied her face. He didn’t know whether to believe her. She looked nervous and uncomfortable. And he didn’t like the way Rasul eyed him just before he left. “You all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “He just gets on my nerves sometimes. Anyway, what are you doin’ here? I thought you’d be at your uncle’s store. ”
“I’m on my way there now. I just thought I’d stop by and see if you were here. ”
“What happened to your face?” she said, pointing to where Savon had punched him.
“Me and Savon got into a fight,” he admitted.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe he hit you,” she said, running her hand near the welt on his face. “I know that boy has a big mouth, but he don’t go around hurtin’ people. At least he didn’t used to. ”
“He didn’t this time either. I pushed him first,” Hakeem admitted. “I feel bad now ’cause Uncle James was really rough on Savon. ”
“You try to talk to Savon about it?”
“I did, but he wouldn’t let me. I shouldn’t have shoved him, Anika, but he got me so mad that I lost it,” Hakeem grumbled, angry at himself.
“Believe me, I know about that. Back in the day, Savon was always on my case, tryin’ to tell me who I shouldn’t be friends with and which places I shouldn’t go. He was bossin’ me just like his father bossed him. Finally we broke up ’cause all we did was fight all the time,” Anika explained.
Hakeem felt his eyes twitch. He didn’t like to hear about Anika and Savon, though he was curious. Even if it was old news, it still bothered him, adding jealousy to the sour mix of emotions he had for his cousin. Through the corner of his eye, Hakeem noticed the time on a dusty wall clock. “I gotta go. ”
“I’m glad you came to visit me,” Anika replied, her eyes pulling him out of his thoughts. “Maybe we can see each other later. That is, if you’re not too busy. ”
Hakeem could not help but smile. “I’ll see if I can fit you in my schedule,” he teased.
“Call me,” she said, grabbing his hand and writing on it. “Here’s my number. ”
“Girl, you’re crazy,” he said looking at the ink on his palm.
“Call me later,” she said with a wave and a smile.
At 4:00, Hakeem leaned against a dumpster in the back of the furniture store. He had just loaded a sofa onto a truck, and he was taking a break.
He and Uncle James had barely spoken all day. Once Hakeem had tried to apologize for what happened, but Uncle James had cut him off before he could really say anything.
“No, Hakeem, I’m the one who is sorry. I asked you to keep an eye on him, and I shouldn’t have done that. You were just trying to do what I told you. You got nothin’ to apologize for,” he had said.
“But I pushed him first. ”
“Hakeem, you don’t have to stick up for him. I know what happened. ”
“I’m not, Uncle James. “
“Hakeem, it’s done. Savon isn’t going to hit you again, not while he’s livin’ under my roof. And he ain’t gonna leave the house for a week either. The time inside will do him good. He’s got a lot of thinkin’ to do,” Uncle James insisted. “Maybe then, he’ll get his butt back in the store where he belongs. ”
Hakeem wanted to protest, but he could see Uncle James had made up his mind. And
when several customers walked in, Uncle James left him without another word. Business, it seemed, always came first. Frustrated, Hakeem busied himself in the back of the store and stayed out of Uncle James’s way.
Still, he had a queasy feeling about Uncle James’s decision. It meant Savon would be in the house all the time. And he was almost certain to be even angrier than before.
And what about Savon sneaking out the window each night? Uncle James knew nothing about that. Hakeem was sure Savon would do it again. Especially tomorrow, Friday night, the time Savon and his friends had made plans. The same day Dad was going to the doctor.
Hakeem shuddered with a growing sense of dread, a feeling that increased as the day wore on.
“Look at your face,” Mom exclaimed when she picked up Hakeem at work. She, Aunt Lorraine, and his sisters had not been home when the fight broke out. They had left early for a full day of sightseeing in the city. “What did he do to you?”
“Nothin’, Mom. I’m fine,” he replied, feeling his swollen cheek. “We just had an argument, that’s all. ”
“Well your father told me that, but he didn’t say nothin’ about your face. ”
“Just don’t say anything to Savon, okay? That will only make things worse,” he said, leaning back in the seat and trying to hide the bruised part of his face.
“That cousin of yours doesn’t give me a good feeling at all,” Mom said, driving the car out of the parking lot. They passed two young men walking by the small shopping plaza. One of the guys was Anika’s friend Rasul. He pointed toward the dollar store as he walked.
“Well, he won’t be going anywhere for a week at least,” Hakeem said. “Uncle James grounded him. ”
His mother nodded and then turned to him. “You two gonna be okay in that room by yourselves?”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” he lied, telling her what he thought she wanted to hear.
“Say your prayers for your dad tomorrow. I’m worried about what the doctors might find,” his mother admitted.
“I will, Mom,” he said, avoiding her eyes again, fear lurking in his own heart.
As they parked in front of the house, Hakeem’s pulse quickened. He wished he could avoid Savon, but he knew there was no way. He had to try to make peace with him.
On the front porch, Hakeem heard the sounds of his sisters’ laughter followed by the sound of Savon’s voice coming from inside the house.
“I told you you were rugrats. Two little rugrats from California,” Savon said amidst the girls’ giggling.
Hakeem opened the front door to see Savon sitting on the couch tickling Charmaine and Charlene, who rolled gleefully on the floor to escape him. All three of them stopped as soon as Hakeem entered.
“What happened to your face?” Charmaine asked.
“You got a big bruise right there,” Charlene added, pointing to it.
Savon stood up suddenly, and headed up the stairs.
Hakeem cringed, looking for a way to escape their questions.
“Would you mind your own business and leave your brother alone,” Mom jumped in. “He bumped his face at work today. ”
The girls seemed satisfied with their mother’s explanation, though they stared at his bruise as if their eyes were glued to it somehow. Without waiting for more questions, Hakeem followed his cousin up the stairs.
Savon was sitting at his desk, writing something in a notebook, when Hakeem entered.
“I’m sorry for pushing you,” Hakeem said, the words rushing awkwardly out of him. “And I’m sorry your dad punished you. He wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to tell him what happened. ”
“Man, I don’t need your apology,” Savon said, his voice heavy with resentment. “You can take that someplace else, ’cause I ain’t havin’ it. ”
Hakeem closed the door. “Look, Savon, I don’t know what you’re into—”
“That’s right! You don’t,” Savon barked. “So just stay outta my business. ”
“Savon, your dad’s the one who told me to keep an eye on you,” he cut back, trying to explain himself. “I didn’t tell him, but I know you’re planning to sneak out tomorrow night. ”
“Man, I don’t care what my dad said. You ain’t my babysitter!” Savon countered, his face an expression of outrage. “This is my house, my room. You already got my parents treating you like the son they wished they had. And now you gonna try to control my life too?” Savon’s voice wavered slightly. “Yeah, I got plans on Friday, and I’m gonna keep ’em. I got to! Not you, not Dad, not anyone is gonna stop me. Just keep your mouth shut and stay outta my face!”
Savon turned on his stereo and cranked up the volume.
Hakeem was speechless.
Chapter 7
At dinner, the table was uncomfortably quiet. The metal clink of silverware was the only real sound during the meal.
Hakeem could see the worry in his parents’ faces as they ate. He knew they were thinking about tomorrow. He was too.
Next to them, Savon ate as if the pork chop on his plate was an enemy, stabbing his fork into it in tense silence. Even Charlene and Charmaine were subdued, eyeing everyone nervously as if they sensed that talking was bad.
Hakeem considered alerting the family to Savon’s plan, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The idea of another clash with Savon made his head ache with stress. He could not imagine how the two would survive another day, let alone the whole summer or longer. But all that wouldn’t matter if Dad’s checkup turned out to be bad. Then his whole world would melt away.
Be strong, he told himself, the words seeming hollow and unhelpful. He wished he could see his friends.
When Uncle James came home complaining about kids in the neighborhood, Hakeem excused himself from the table. He had to get out. There was only one person he could go to.
Hakeem grabbed a phone and dialed the faded number on his palm. The phone rang several times before it was answered.
“Hello,” Anika said sternly, as if the word itself annoyed her.
“Anika?” Hakeem said. “It’s me, Hakeem. ”
There was a brief pause.
“Oh, Hakeem! I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else,” she said. Hakeem could hear her repositioning the phone. “What’s up? You sound bad. ”
“Rough day. I was hopin’ we might do that guitar lesson tonight. ” Hakeem said, praying she would agree. Anything to get out of the house.
Again, Anika was quiet for several seconds. He wondered who she expected. Rasul, he guessed.
“I can’t go anywhere now. I’m here with my Grandma,” she said. There was another pause. “But if you want, you can come over. ”
Hakeem sighed in relief. “I’ll be right there,” he said.
Racing back upstairs, he grabbed his guitar and notebook, afraid to leave it with Savon again, and headed out. Seconds later, he walked up the concrete steps to Anika’s porch and knocked on the door. Then he heard the click and snap of the door being unlocked.
“Hi, Hakeem,” Anika said as the door opened. She eyed the street cautiously as she greeted him. “Come in. My grandma’s upstairs sleeping, but it’s okay. She can’t hear us, not without her hearing aid. ” Anika’s voice trailed off as she spoke.
Hakeem stepped into the front room of the house. It was the same shape and size as his aunt and uncle’s living room, though it seemed much older. The air felt slightly musty, and the furniture was worn and faded. A collection of family pictures lined the wall, but most were yellowed with time. One was a black and white photo of a man in a military uniform standing proudly in front of the American flag.
Near the front door was one picture that looked more recent then the others. It depicted a round-faced woman who appeared to be in her thirties standing with her arms out. Behind her was the glistening ocean. She had a friendly smile.
“That’s my cousin in California, the one who’s waitin’ for me,” Anika said, locking the front door. “That beach is not far from her house,” she added, gazing
at the picture as if it were some perfect place. A promised land.
Hakeem thought the beach in the picture resembled one he and Darcy used to visit before the world turned upside down. Before the cancer. “Reminds me of home,” he said, old memories flickering and fading in his mind.
Anika studied him closely, her almond eyes dark and mysterious. Looking at them, Hakeem could almost forget the last two weeks.
“Come with me,” she said. “Come with me to California. You know you wanna go back home. ”
“Girl, are you serious?”
“I gotta get outta here, Hakeem,” she confessed. “There’s just too much drama here for me right now. ”
Hakeem nodded at her words. He could see she meant what she said, and he understood. He felt exactly the same way since he left home. “Is it Rasul?” he asked bluntly, unable to hide his curiosity. “I saw him tonight near my uncle’s store. ”
Anika lowered her head and rolled her eyes, confirming his suspicion. “You don’t even want to go there,” she said. “Put it this way. The only thing I like around here these days is that guitar of yours. ”
“And not me?” he teased. Anika laughed slightly, her smile attracting him like a magnet. The time with her was like an oasis from his family.
“Maybe just a little,” she said, running her fingers through her hair. “So when are you gonna teach me how to play?
“Are you sure you’re ready? I require my students to be dedicated,” he said, pretending to be serious.
She rolled her eyes and gave him a mock scowl.
“Okay. Sit down,” he instructed.
Anika sat on the edge of the faded couch, and Hakeem sat beside her, his leg against hers. Putting his notebook down, he took the guitar and placed it gently on her lap so that it rested on her thigh. He suddenly got nervous. He had never been this close to any girl except Darcy.
“Now I’m gonna position your hands,” he explained, trying to stay calm. Carefully, he reached around her back and took her left hand. His fingers trembled slightly. Her skin was soft and warm, and she watched him curiously as he placed the neck of the guitar against her palm. Then, with his heart racing, he took her other hand and placed it on the face of the guitar in front of her stomach.
