“We’re taking the dope and selling it.”
“Rome, are you fucking kidding me? You have lost your damn mind. I’m not no damn drug dealer,” Greg shouted. He needed to take it down a notch.
“Keep your motherfucking voice down. Can you think of another way to get the money to buy some more guns?”
“What about that bitch from the apartment? Do you think she knows anything?”
I said, “No, I think she got screwed, but it might be a good idea to find out her story.”
Greg was thinking for a change. I was surprised.
“I guess I can work on that then.” Greg was pouting, not a good look for a grown-ass man.
“We’ve got to get those guns or we are going to be in some real shit, right in our backyard.”
“Rome, your gambling is out of control. It’s what got us into this shit in the first place. I didn’t sign up for this, and I’m damn sure not going down because of it. You’re my boy and shit, but damn. You’re pushing it. Motherfuckers looking for us on the street and shit, fellow cops acting all shady. This ain’t cool, Rome. Work it out because I ain’t going to jail for you or any other motherfucker. Real talk. You got me in this shit and I’m counting on you to get me out.”
He grabbed his coffee cup and stormed out of the room, and I was glad he was gone. Greg and I had been friends since the academy, but his bitching was getting on my damn nerves. Yeah, I fucked up, but at least I had a plan. What did he have? We’d seized over $3 million of heroin and cocaine during the cartel raid. Normally, the drugs would’ve been destroyed. For some reason, though, we still had them in the evidence room. I took some of it and I planned on taking the rest to get out of the hole I had dug for myself. Greg thought things were bad, but he’d flip the fuck out if he knew how deep this shit had become.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
VERÓNICA RAMSEY
“Hey, girl. This is a surprise.” I stepped away from the door to allow my sister to come in.
“Where is my nephew? I want to see him.”
“Oh, really? He’s in his playpen.” I was surprised but tried not to let it show on my face.
A few minutes later, she came back carrying LM. “He’s such a good baby. I’ve never heard him cry.”
“That’s because you haven’t been around him much. He can go when he wants to, but for the most part, he’s a pleasant baby. He kind of reminds me of Ramón when he was little.” The smile disappeared off both of our faces.
I said, “I miss Ramón so much. He had so much life left to live, it’s unfair.”
“I know. I think about it all the time.” She coddled and cooed with LM. The mood in the room was melancholic. “Verónica, we haven’t had time to talk. Tell me what is going on with you.”
I was taken off guard. “Huh? I’m good. You know, just taking care of the baby and my husband.”
“How’s that going, the husband part?”
Why was she asking me about Moses? I thought it was a little personal and didn’t want to discuss it with her. “It’s going well, why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason. I was just wondering. We talked about Mike all the time. You never talk about Moses so I thought I’d ask.”
“Wow, for real? I hadn’t noticed.”
Victória got me to thinking. She was right, I didn’t speak of him because in the back of my mind, I still felt guilty about the circumstances of our relationship.
“Liar, and the truth ain’t in you.” She laughed but she was so right.
I went to sit next to my sister because I needed a hug. “Victória, I feel so lost sometimes. I want to be happy. I want to let go and love my husband the way I did when we first met but I can’t. I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy. So many people died. Hell, you almost died. How am I supposed to go on and pick up the pieces?”
She pulled my head onto her shoulder as I cried. “Sweetie, I mean this from the bottom of my heart. You’ve got to get past this. You owe it to LM and Moses. Even if you don’t see it, your baby can feel it. And on the real tip, you got a good man and you’re tearing him apart.”
I pushed away from Victória. How could she possibly know how my husband was feeling? “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. Just like you pushed away from me, I see you pushing away from him.”
I was afraid to speak and my heart was pounding so hard. “Has he said anything to you?” I practically whispered.
“No, he doesn’t have to. It’s written all over his face every time your name comes up. You have to remember that even though a lot of shit has gone down with Madre and Padre, you, me, and Padre are still family, and Moses already feels like the odd man out. You’ve got to show him how important he is in your life.”
“You have spoken to him!” I was upset and felt like she was keeping a secret from me.
“No, I haven’t. I swear.”
LM had fallen asleep in her arms, so I picked him up and carried him back to his bed. Leaving the room, I thought I was going to have an opportunity to think but that wasn’t the case because Victória was right behind me. “Are you following me?”
“Uh, no. I thought we were having a conversation. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I just thought you were going to stay in the living room. You didn’t walk around the house before.”
“And you’ve never left the room in the middle of a conversation before, either. What’s up with that?”
I felt defensive and like she was trying to pull something from me that wasn’t there. “Well ... um ... I’ve never had a baby to tend to before.” I was fidgeting and feeling very uncomfortable. Almost as if I were standing in front of her naked, exposed with a huge wart on my ass.
Victória said, “And you’re using the baby as a shield to keep me away. What’s really going on?”
“Why are you drilling me?”
“Why are you so defensive? You’ve always been my best friend and right now I don’t feel like I know you at all.”
Wow, I felt like she slapped me in the face. Was I losing my mind? I folded on the floor like a balloon without air.
Victória dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around me. “It’s going to be okay. I know it is. God didn’t bring us this far to leave us.”
I tried to pull away because I was seeing my sister in a different light. She always encouraged me but now it was like she was looking inside my soul and it was a little intimidating.
“I keep trying to escape this depression but every time I turn the corner it’s right there in my face again.”
“I think it’s normal—at least from what I’ve read—for a new mother to feel this way. But your situation is more complicated because of what we’ve been through. All I’m saying to you is that if you love the man you married, don’t shut him out. Let him know what you’re feeling. The last thing you want him to do is shut down because you’re shutting him out.”
I looked at her. “When did you get to be such an authority on relationships? It isn’t like we’ve had the best role models.”
“Maybe that’s how I got to be such an expert. I’ve spent so much time watching and listening.”
“Point duly noted. So other than offering advice, what brings you around my neck of the woods?”
We had gotten up from the floor and went back downstairs so we could talk without waking LM.
Victória flopped down on the sofa. “I just left the hospital, but I wanted to see you before I went home to get some sleep.”
“Fuck, now I feel like the worst daughter in the world. I’ve been so busy with my own shit, I didn’t even remember to ask you about Padre. How is he? God, I feel so bad.”
“He’s okay. He agreed to have the surgery.”
That made me feel better. “Wonderful. What made him change his mind?”
“I think he realized he couldn’t keep putting it off.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m going to ask Moses to watch LM tomorrow so I can go visit
Padre. I feel so bad.”
“Don’t, he understands. However, he did make me promise that we wouldn’t stop looking for Tilo no matter what happens to him.”
My anger boiled. “I knew it. None of this shit was about me or Padre. It’s always been about Tilo. Why the fuck should I put my family on the line to go after this bitch?”
“Because if you don’t, she’s going to keep coming back. She’s not gonna come after me because she thinks I’m in a coma. But you and Moses aren’t, so it’s not going to end as long as she knows there is a threat to her safety.”
“Oh God, I can’t deal with this,” I wailed.
Victória touched my hand. “Yes, you can, because you don’t have a choice. If you tie Moses’ hands, you are both sitting ducks—especially if she ever finds out about the money Padre gave us.”
“How is she going to find out about the money? I haven’t mentioned it to anyone.”
“Why haven’t you told your husband?”
I gasped. I couldn’t tell if her tone was accusatory or if I was just tripping. Either way, I didn’t like it. “How do you know I haven’t told him?” I bluffed.
“Because you said you haven’t told anyone.”
She had me cornered. “Oh, um ... I, um—”
She laughed. “You’re a horrible liar.”
I felt like crying all over again. I didn’t even have a good excuse for not telling Moses. It wasn’t a conscious decision, I just never got around to it.
Victória rolled her eyes. “Don’t start up with the waterworks again. Maybe you have your reasons for not telling him. But I’m going to say this and be done with it: our whole life was built on deception. Don’t make the same mistake our parents did—whatever the reason.”
CHAPTER FIFTY
TILO ADAMS
“Finally.” I kicked off my shoes and waited for the bellhop to bring up my bags from the lobby. It was a hair-raising trip, but I was finally settled in a suite at the New Yorker. I couldn’t have been happier to be out of Atlanta. I felt trapped in the city, afraid to go out of my own room. In New York, though, the most impersonal city in the world, I was free to be me. I leaped off the chaise and grabbed the hotel phone.
“I’d like to order room service please.” I was ready to act an ass because they placed me on hold without even asking me if I minded. How fucking rude. The wait wasn’t long but since patience had never been part of my MO, it was enough to push me into bitch mode again.
“Can you have someone send me up a menu?”
“You should have a copy of the menu in your room,” the voice over the phone said.
“Do I sound like I want to fucking look for a menu? Just do your damn job and have someone bring me a friggin’ menu, and don’t take all damn day doing it.” I hung up the phone. Nobody could do bitch better than me. I was in a suite, so they should be used to attitude and an innate sense of entitlement. The doorbell rang before I could continue checking out my rooms.
“About time,” I snippily replied when the bellhop brought up my bag. I didn’t have many; it was just heavy as hell. He lingered in the doorway for a few seconds. If he thought I was going to give him a handout, he was sadly mistaken. I examined my bag to make sure the bonds were still in the false bottom. The doorbell rang again before I could get them out.
“What?” I shouted as I ripped open the door.
A startled Hispanic woman stood there with a full menu in her hands. She appeared to be scared of her own shadow. She handed me the menu and backed away. It was a good thing because, even though I was pretty certain she wouldn’t understand a word I said, I would have cussed her out just because. I tossed the menu on the chair and promptly forgot about it.
“What was I doing?” I looked around the room trying to remember what I was doing before I was interrupted. The room was beautiful but distracting because there were too many things to look at.
“That’s right. I was about to take a bath.” I started taking my clothes off on my way to the bathroom. A nice long bath would help me to relax. Then, maybe, I could finally go out and get some clothes for my trip. A nice white robe was draped across the oversized tub and I put it on while I waited for the tub to fill with scented water. Just as I was about to get in, my cell phone rang.
“Shit, where’s my fucking phone?” It shouldn’t have been difficult to find, especially since I’d just gotten in the damn room. But my dumb butt was running around the room naked like a crazy person, and I didn’t find it until it had stopped ringing.
“Fuck,” I shouted. I stood poised to pitch the damn thing against the wall but stopped at the last minute. Why the fuck are you throwing the phone? I checked the last call and dialed it back.
“Hello?” he said after the third ring.
“Greg, what’s up?” I switched from bitch mode immediately because he did not play that.
“Yo, I’m done with this shit. Where you at ’cause I need some pussy?”
I did not like his tone. “I’m in New York, boo.” I wanted to call him a motherfucker so bad I could taste it, but I knew it would not be a good idea.
“I thought you were going to tell me before you jetted. I’m on my way.”
“No. You can’t come right now. I need you to keep an eye on Rome for a little bit longer.”
“Aw, hell no! I told you I’m done with that shit. The mofo gets on my damn nerves, and I’m not no damn babysitter.”
“Greg, sweetheart. We’ve come too far to fuck up now. Just a little while longer and we’ll have the bigger prize.”
“Tilo, real talk, I can’t do it. If that motherfucker calls me a bitch one more time, I’m gonna bust a cap right in his motherfucking face.”
“Think of the prize, boo. You like money. I like money—”
“I like pussy, too, and my pussy is in fucking New York without me. Now, how about that?” He was angry.
I hated to make him mad because his anger could be lethal. I could’ve used some dick too, but I was thinking long term and he was thinking about a few minutes at best. Good minutes, but not enough to blow several million dollars over.
“Baby, I am starving for some dick. My pussy is acting like I’ve lost my damn mind, but if you leave now, you’re going to leave too much money on the table and you don’t want that, do you?” I will shoot you my damn self if you do that.
“No, I want it all, but I’m telling you this shit is taking too long. Rome finally said he was taking the dope, and I’m gonna give him subtle hints as to where he should take it, but this shit about taking the money and the guns is a little bit much. You got to make up your mind, which one is more important? ’Cause your greedy ass can’t have both.”
“Why can’t we have both? Think about it, Greg, South America is wide open now and we’ve got an opportunity to take it.” I thought it was important to say we; but, in reality, it was all about me. I was tired of taking the back seat in life. I was about to jump in the driver’s chair, and anybody in my way, shame on them.
“Because you are relying on a jackass to deliver. Rome is one straw short of a bale. He’s a loose cannon, and now that you’re putting a foot on his neck, he’s acting like he ain’t got shit to lose. Now that would be fine if the motherfucker was in this by himself, but you’ve got me posted next to this motherfucker—all up in the spotlight and shit.”
“Calm down, baby. You’re just horny.”
“You damn right I’m horny. My joint is so hard, it could knock down a wall and shit.”
“Aw ... If I were there, I’d take care of that for you.” I allowed water to splash as I jumped into my tub and turned on the jets.
“What did you say you were doing?”
“Taking a bath. A nice, long, hot bath. Oooh I wish you were here.”
“Fuck, don’t go playing with a nigga, ’cause I’ll beat the motherfucking jet to New York—that’s how much I want to be fucking right now.”
“But if you were here, boo, I wouldn’t fuck you. Oh now, fucking i
s for kids. I would make love to you like a grown-ass woman. I would pull your long, hot body into the tub and wash every amazing inch of you.” I could tell by the way he was breathing that he was getting into my soft words. “I would slide between your thighs and take your big dick into my mouth and suck it as bubbles dance around us, masking our aroma. Have you ever had your dick sucked while underwater?”
“Uh ...”
“After I come up for air, I’ll wash your balls. One ball at a time. Savoring your sacks and giving them the attention they deserve. One squeeze and I come up again, kissing you. Fucking you with my mouth. That’s the only fucking we’ll be doing.”
“Damn, baby.” His voice got deep.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. My voice was harsh and commanding.
“Rubbing my dick, ma.”
“That’s my dick and I didn’t tell you to touch it. I want to do it.”
He drew in a deep breath. I could feel its vibration over the speaker in the phone. You couldn’t tell me he wasn’t stroking his dick.
“I just miss you, boo. It’s been so long.” He moaned.
I felt it reverberate in my pussy. I missed him too, but I couldn’t allow my pussy to think for me. I had to be stronger than that. Girl, maybe some good dick is what you need. You ain’t had none in so long, your shit is about to dry up and fall off.
“Shut up,” I snapped.
“Huh?” Greg said.
I could feel his mental wheels screeching to a halt. I had to recover quickly.
“I just want you to feel my body pressed against yours. No words.” I sounded lame even to myself, but I said the first thing that came to my mind. These voices speaking to me were becoming rather annoying. I was having a difficult time deciphering what was real or what was only in my head.
“I feel you, baby,” Greg said, obviously back in the moment and waiting to shoot his load.
In my sexy voice, I said, “I want you to grab my dick and stroke it.”
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