She started typing on her screen without meeting my eyes, which pissed me off. Who the hell did she think she was anyway?
“You’re not going to give me a date?”
“Nope. Next flight is in three hours. Is that soon enough?” she asked before she swiped my card.
“That’s cool.”
“One-way or round trip?”
“One-way. Atlanta don’t have anything left for me.”
“Were you being serious?” she asked with her arm raised in the air.
“Yeah, I was. But no worries. All things happen for a reason.” I was sulking. I wasn’t used to being turned down, and it didn’t matter that I didn’t really want to go out on a date with her. She continued the transaction without advising me of the cost.
“One drink, that’s all.” She handed me my ticket and clocked out.
“So what made you change your mind?” I asked once Nancy and I were seated in Ruby Tuesday on concourse C of the Delta wing. I allowed her to choose the place and the one she picked was near the gate for my flight. I was truly curious about her abrupt change of heart because it wasn’t like she owed me anything or had anything to gain by doing so. For a moment I thought she wasn’t going to answer. Nancy and I had been inseparable at one point in time, but over the years, our relationship dwindled away to nothing.
“To be honest, I don’t know. I thought I was going to hate your ass for the rest of my life.”
“Damn, hate?” I wasn’t expecting her to say that and I quickly took a sip of my drink just to have something to do with my mouth. I knew that I’d hurt her feelings but never in a million years did I think my disappearing act would result in such a strong emotional response.
“Hey, I was young back then.” She shrugged her shoulders and took a drink herself. She started rifling through her purse.
“You still smoking those cigarettes? You know those things are going to kill you,” I said, laughing.
“We all got to die someday.”
Damn, back in the day she would have gotten all hot and bothered just for my mentioning death and her in the same sentence. I didn’t know this person sitting across from me at all.
“True. So tell me what’s going on with you? I don’t see no ring, so are you married?”
She looked surprised by my question and her eyes shifted to my ring finger. “If I were married, I wouldn’t be in this bar with you,” she snapped back.
“What’s wrong with having a drink with an old friend?”
“You are not my friend.”
This was going to be a lot harder than I’d originally anticipated. While I didn’t expect to walk back into her life and be greeted with open arms, I didn’t expect this verbal sparring match. “Damn, Nancy. Even though things between us didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, I’ve always considered you to be a friend.” Part of me just wanted to throw some money down on the table and get the fuck out of there. I didn’t need this bullshit.
“Whatever.” She played around with the straw in her glass and kept looking at her watch like she had someplace else to be.
“Shit, you clocking your watch like I’m keeping you from something. Please don’t let me hold you up any longer.” I was done with begging a bitch. It wasn’t like I was trying to get some pussy after all these years anyway. However, I said the wrong thing because I immediately sparked a dangerous reaction by my words.
“You know what, fuck you, nigga!” She was stubbing out her smoke and trying to get up at the same time.
“Nancy, hold on. Why are you getting all upset and shit? I was just trying to be respectful of your time. You didn’t have to cuss at a brother.” I was trying to hold back my laughter because her girth, coupled with her anger, may have contributed to her inability to get up out of the chair.
“No, you hold on. I didn’t ask your sorry ass to have a drink with me. Did I? No, you asked me, and when shit ain’t going the way you think it should, you want to do the same old shit you did back in the day—roll the fuck out.” She was no longer trying to get up, but I could tell she was still mad as hell.
I looked around the restaurant to see if anyone was looking at us because sister girl was rather loud. “Why you got me on loud speaker? Take that shit down a notch before you get us thrown up out of here,” I hissed at her. She had a right to be a little upset or even downright mad at me, but I was not about to allow her to show her ass on me in public.
“Because your ass threw me out like dirty dishwater once you were done with me.” She was fumbling with her cigarette again, trying to get it relit, and I was glad we were in one of the few places in the airport that allowed people to smoke. Hell, she almost made me want to light up my damn self, but I’d kicked the habit years before.
“It wasn’t like that and you know it. We just drifted apart,” I said.
“You’re a liar and the truth ain’t in you.” Any other time I would have gotten pissed by anyone calling me a liar, but she was so comical I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
“Oh, you think I’m a joke?” Once again she tried to snub out her cigarette and get up at the same time in a confined space. She was butting people in the back of their heads with her big ol’ ass, which only made me laugh harder.
I didn’t stop laughing until I realized that she was actually going to leave me sitting there without answering any of my questions. “Nancy, wait. I wasn’t laughing at you per se. I was laughing at the way you said it.” I was sincere when I said it and I guess she must’ve heard it in my voice because she plopped back down in her chair. I signaled the waitress for another round.
“Just so you know, I don’t take too kindly to being laughed at. By you or anybody else for that matter.”
“I wasn’t laughing at you. Never that. I thought about you often over the years.”
“You didn’t pick up the phone. Hell, my number ain’t changed, just my disposition.” She was coming back with the one-liners and it was truly comical to hear.
“I thought about calling but I wasn’t ready for you.” Once again, I was being honest with her.
“You might have been worth something if you wasn’t running up behind that other bitch who had your nose wide open.” She was referring to Tilo, so I wasn’t about to tell her that she was still in the picture. Tilo was running me even back in the day, much the same as I ran Nancy. But Tilo was like a drug to me and I just couldn’t say no to her. She even had me asking Nancy for money and giving it to her. I should have had a problem with asking her but I didn’t, and that was one of the reasons we stopped kicking it. That and Tilo’s threat to kick my ass to the curb if she even thought I was dishing out her dick to someone else. She didn’t mind my getting money from Nancy, but she drew the line at sharing the dick.
“Like I said, I couldn’t give you what you wanted.” It made no sense to sit there and lie to her about my involvement with Tilo. She knew I loved her back then, and I assumed she wanted to know the deal now.
“I guess that shit didn’t work out too well for you, did it?” She started laughing as if she’d said some kind of funny.
“Nah, it didn’t work out.” I wasn’t really lying when I said it didn’t work because, physically, Tilo wasn’t around, we rarely saw each other, but she still resided in my heart.
“So what’s in Baltimore?” She cocked her head to the side as if she genuinely wanted to know.
“I have family there, but actually I’m ready for a new beginning.” We sat in silence for a few moments. I was trying to think of a way to bring the conversation around to the real reason I was sitting inside the airport with her in the first place.
“Humph, if I hadn’t put in so many years at this airport, I’d leave too. I’m sick of Atlanta. I’m sick of the traffic, wages, and most of all, the men.”
I knew better than to tackle the subject of men, especially since I knew that last part was directed at me. “You could transfer to another hub if you really wanted to leave.”
“And get the shit end of the totem pole when it came to my schedule? Oh, hell no, I don’t think so. I’m gonna stick it out here until I can hang it up for good.”
“I hear ya. I didn’t think about what it would do to your tenure here.” I nodded my head in agreement. I admired the fact that she had a job she could retire from, and I was still flipping from spot to spot with very little stability to my income. That’s another reason why I continued to fuck with Tilo. She was offering a means to get out of the rat race and live in the lifestyle I’d only dreamed about. Throw in some good pussy, it’s a wrap. “Hey, did you know the dude who shot his ex-wife and her boyfriend?”
“Yeah, I knew him. It’s messed up. They got shit all twisted around here.” She finished her drink and looked at me expectantly.
I signaled the waitress. So much for the one-drink limit Nancy had imposed. I was grateful the liquor loosened her tongue and lightened her attitude with me. “What’s his domestic battle have to do with you and your job? I don’t get it.”
“You know the drill, because of his clearance, everybody is on alert. See the media didn’t tell the whole story. She filed for divorce and he wouldn’t agree to it. So she turned things ugly on his job by telling the bosses that he was smuggling contraband through the airport. Now they looking at all of us all crazy when we come through.”
“Got it. That’s fucked up. Is there any truth to her claims?”
“I’m not sure about that. I knew the guy, but I wasn’t all up in his business and shit.” Her words were beginning to slur. I didn’t know how much longer her spirit of cooperation would last.
“So I still don’t understand why this presented complications for you unless you’re doing a lot of traveling.”
“Damn, nigga, do I have to spell it out for you?”
I wanted to choke the bitch and tell her yeah, but I just looked at her.
“Okay, it has nothing to do with travel. Seniority has its privileges, and one of those privileges is the ability to forego going through TSA screening. On a good day, screening can make the difference of being late for work, so it’s definitely something I enjoy. Now this motherfucker done messed it up for all of us, and now we have to go through the line just like everybody else.”
“That’s fucked up. I can see why that would have you twisted.”
“Yeah, like I said before, it’s fucked up. Plus, his wife claimed he was smuggling drugs in and out of the country. The bitch gave names and we have to make sure we’re not issuing tickets to folks on the list.”
“That sucks because you don’t even know if the bitch was telling the truth. How the hell did she know what the man was into?”
“Oh, she knew. I don’t know what all she said, but obviously there was enough truth to it to convince my boss to adhere to the list. We’re supposed to immediately alert security if the people named on the list even attempt to buy tickets. We have pictures posted at each terminal so they can’t get by us. I was told if we messed up and issued a ticket to someone on the list, it was grounds for immediate termination and a possible criminal indictment.”
“Shit, that’s some bullshit right there. If someone calls security on me, I’m gonna turn this bitch out and sue the hell out of everybody in this motherfucker while I’m at it.”
“Exactly. That’s my point. The bitch must have been convincing.”
“Shit, I’d love to see that list,” I said, laughing.
“Ah, fuck that. I’m not gonna lose my job over no bullshit. Fuck that.” She got up from the table like she’d finally put together why I was there in the first place.
I grew apprehensive because I did not want her showing her drunk ass now ’cause there was no telling what she would say now that she was fired up with a little booze.
“Fuck, I gotta go.” She shook her head and backed away from the table as if she was suddenly afraid to turn her back on me.
I waited until she’d left the restaurant before I hightailed it out of the airport. I was pretty certain I wasn’t on the list, but I was equally certain I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever seeing that list.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
VERÓNICA RAMSEY
I didn’t start to feel apprehension until I rounded the corner to our house. Even though my mother-in-law didn’t call me, I was still apprehensive about leaving my baby with her. As I put my key in the lock, I paused to see if I heard the telltale signs of screams to gauge how their visit was going. I was greeted with blessed silence.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked my mother-in-law, who was nodding out on the sofa. I smiled when I noticed the baby monitor on the end table closest to her.
She sat up as I approached. “You back already? I was just taking a catnap.”
“Where is Mr. Ramsey?”
“Child, he’s stretched out across the bed. He said the house was too quiet and he couldn’t keep his eyes open.”
“Quiet? Then I guess everything went well?”
“Shoot yeah. My baby got up, drank his bottle, played with us for a little while, and went right back to sleep. He was a perfect angel.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as I settled on the sofa next to my mother-in-law. “Perfect. I was scared you were going to call me crying. I’m glad everything went okay.”
“Honey, please, I have a way with men. Didn’t my son tell you that?” She laughed and I could not help but to join in. Mrs. Ramsey was such a jovial woman, it was hard not to smile just being around her. “How’s your dad?”
“He’s doing fine. As long as he doesn’t develop an infection he should be coming home sometime next week.”
“That’s good, that’s good. I know how worried you must be.”
She didn’t know the half of it. It was times like this that I missed my mother the most. She was my sounding board for a lot of things, and I missed having her around to talk to when I was confused and needed some guidance. I felt like I could talk to Mrs. Ramsey in the same manner, but I was hesitant to say a lot of things in front of her because a lot of my confusion surrounded her son. I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t love him or was unhappy in any specific way.
She said, “What’s the matter, child? You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world around on your shoulders.”
I looked at her in surprise because she almost read my mind. Most days it was exactly the way I felt. “Huh? Oh, I’m fine. Just a little tired is all,” I replied.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and take yourself a nap. I’m here and I’ll look after the baby while you get some rest.”
“I’m not sleepy. You ever feel like it’s too much effort to even comb your hair? I’m that kind of tired. I don’t want to do anything.”
“Honey, I feel like that every day, but you’ve just got to go on and press on through it. I think you and Moses need to spend some quality time together without the baby. Maybe a weekend getaway would be a good idea.”
“Ah, man, I like the sound of that. I don’t think I’d know how to act if I were to go someplace with my husband and not have to worry about feeding or changing the baby. Wow, that would be something else.”
“Why don’t you plan a little trip then? We can watch the baby for you while you and Moses go somewhere”
“I wish! Do you know that I’ve never been on a vacation in my entire life? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself nor would I know where to go. Besides, Moses is so busy—”
“Nonsense. If there is one thing that child of mine knows how to do it is let go and have fun. He’s been all over the world, so I’m sure he could plan a little trip for you two. It could be like a honeymoon for you, and it’ll do a world of good for your marriage.”
My head sprung up at the mention of our marriage. Was my mother-in-law trying to tell me something? Since Moses and I didn’t have the typical courtship, I was unsure of how much of our relationship Moses revealed to his parents. I didn’t know if she knew that I was married before or if she knew we were having an
affair before my husband’s death. I began to feel nervous and uncomfortable. “I think I might take you up on that nap idea. It’s not often that I can go to sleep in the middle of the day.” I stood up to leave, but Mrs. Ramsey pulled me back down next to her.
“Verónica, what’s wrong? At times you seem so distant. I don’t want you to feel like I’m prying, I just want to help.”
Ever since Moses told his family about me, Mrs. Ramsey seemed to have taken up residence in Atlanta and visited at least once a week. She said it was one of the benefits of retirement and I truly appreciated her for offering love and support to me, but we barely knew each other. I was afraid that once she found out the sordid details of my marriage, she might not love me anymore, and I didn’t think my heart could stand it. I wasn’t as strong as I used to be.
“Mrs. Ramsey, there’s a lot of things you don’t know.” I pulled away again.
“What did I tell you about calling me Mrs. Ramsey?” she warned.
“Sorry, old habit. But things are complicated right now. Maybe when things get a little better around here, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
“That’s the problem with you young people today. You always assume there will be time to do the things you put off doing today. Life is not promised to you, so there is no better time than the present time. I’ve learned that over the years.”
I wanted so much to open up to her but my head just would not follow my heart. There was too much at risk. I stood up, ready to end our conversation.
“Honey, my son does not keep secrets from me. He tells me everything.”
I was astonished by her admission but still leery. I didn’t believe Moses told her everything. “I’m sure he does. You two have such a wonderful relationship. I wish I were closer with my mother.”
“Yes, he told me about your marriage and your affair. He even told me that he once wasn’t sure that my grandchild was his.” She chuckled, and it relieved some of the pressure I was feeling about being alone with her and confessing some of my sins.
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