The Wrong Way: Hanson University: One

by McKenna Kerrick

  It should be noted that I am trying, really trying, to not look at the mark I left on her neck as we sit at the table.

  Alex gave his nod of approval when we showed up, but Ian's been quiet while sitting on the other side of me.

  I don't know what's going on with Ian. Sometimes it feels like he's waiting for me to explode or something; but over what, I don't know.

  Lila is sitting on my right, her chin propped up on her fist as she listens to some of the football tales. She looks good today in her t-shirt and shorts. And now that we're at least talking again, it's nice to see that little smile curving the corners of her lips.

  “But Killian has the best stories,” one of my teammates says.

  “You do?” Lila lifts an eyebrow st me in question.

  “None you want to hear about,” I shrug.

  “Did you haze someone and feel bad about it?” she asks.

  “No.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Mostly about how fast he can sneak a girl into his room at away games,” Ian deadpans.

  “Oh,” she squeaks.

  I glare at Ian but he's too busy looking at his phone to notice my annoyance.

  “I guess that's not really surprising since that's your M.O.”

  “Lila,” I sigh and drape my arm around her shoulders to give her a gentle squeeze.

  “What?” she looks at me warily.

  “I haven't done that in a while.” About two months to be exact. Which, for me, should feel like a lifetime. But I was serious about wanting someone who didn't want the football player version of me.

  Even with my little slip up on Sunday night.

  “Eh, he's right,” Alex chimes in. “I guess Killian hasn't done that in a while at away games. Still looking on weekends, though.”

  Lila shifts uncomfortably and tries to shrug off my arm that's still around her. I hold firmly instead of giving her what she wants.

  “Yeah, but it's getting a little old,” I say. “Maybe I've just partied too much that I've basically gotten it all out of my system.”

  Everyone stops to stare at me.

  “What?” I scowl. “I'm not allowed to think partying is a waste of time when it's not what I want anymore?”

  “And what do you want?” Alex asks, propping his chin on his fist like Lila had done and batting his eyes at me.

  God, I want to hit him. Maybe a few times in the face to make a point. “Just someone who I can chill with. There's no pressure to put on a front or talk about football all the time.”

  “Hey,” Gage scowls from across the table. “Football is a great topic to talk about.”

  “Sure, with all of you assholes,” I smirk.

  “Lila, do you like talking about football?” Alex asks her.

  She hesitates before answering. “Well,” she winces at me, “not so much. Killian used to make me sit on the practice feel and pretend call the plays he made up when he was a kid out to him. I learned way too much about football.”

  Everyone starts snickering at that.

  “You made her call plays out to you?” Alex snorts. “Gee, no wonder you have such a big head on the field. Thinking you know everything.”

  “I do know everything,” I point at him. “Enough to get the ball at least.”

  “He has a point,” Ian shrugs. “He does get the ball. That's why the NFL is looking at him.”

  “So what else did Killian make you do as kids?” Gage asks Lila. “We need dirt.”

  “No, you don't,” I frown.

  Lila ignores me though and leans forward. “In middle school, he was starting to get really popular and all the girls wanted his attention. He hated it.”

  “Why would you hate it?” Gage scoffs.

  “I wanted to focus on sports,” I roll my eyes. “Forgive me for not wanting a harem of girls.”

  “Anyways,” Lila cuts in, “he used to tell people that we were dating so they'd leave him alone.”

  “And you went along with it?” Ian quirks an eyebrow.

  “He bought me dessert for the whole charade,” Lila shrugs. “I'm not crazy. Who in their right mind is going to turn down an extra cookie or a slice of chocolate cake?”

  “She was probably the envy of everyone at lunch,” I chuckle.

  She'd only faked being my girlfriend all of seventh grade. Eighth grade I'd figured out that girls were cool and flirting took practice. I don't think I'd ever flirted with Lila, just brought her food and ate with her.

  Man, those were simpler times.

  “Did you like being his girlfriend?” Alex asks.

  Damn, he's not even trying to be subtle at all. His eyes are twinkling in mischief and I know for a fact if he was within arms distance, I would have whacked him upside the head for that comment.

  “I don't think it really counts,” Lila shrugs. “I mean, we didn't do anything. All he ever said was that we were together. We hung out all the time so everyone just bought into it. But nothing special ever happened.”

  “Aw,” Gage fake pouts. “So he wasn't your first kiss?”

  “Hell no,” she starts to laugh. “My first kiss was with Archie on the swings in fifth grade. After that,” she pauses and bites her lip as she thinks, “I think it was Sam who played on the baseball team in eighth grade.” She pauses again before adding, “Yeah, it was definitely Sam.”

  “I take it Killian scared him off?” Ian asks.

  “No,” I answer immediately. “Alex had the pleasure of doing that.”

  “Because you dared me, you fuckwit,” Alex points at me. He'd grown up in Hanson too, joining our little group later on in life when girls weren't normal to have around as often without people thinking you were into them.

  “Either way,” Lila raises her voice to talk over us, “Sam didn't last long. Alex threatened to beat him up or something.”

  “That is not what happened,” Alex immediately jumps in. “He kissed you and was going around telling everyone about it and bragging.”

  “I'm not hearing the bad part in this,” Gage shrugs.

  “There wasn't a bad part,” Lila rolls her eyes.

  “Anyways,” Alex continues, “I come up to him and tell him that he's running his mouth about Killian's best friend. And of course, Killian is standing there with me all pissed off from Sam kissing Lila.”

  “Why did you care?” Gage turns to me.

  I don't answer.

  “So Sam tells me to shove off, and Killian dares me to hit him,” Alex finishes.

  “You dared Alex to hit Sam because Sam was going around telling people he kissed me?” Lila gapes.

  “You shouldn't brag about kissing someone. It's rude,” I frown. “Haven't you ever heard don't kiss and tell?”

  “We were twelve!” Lila grunts in frustration and stares around the table. “Do you see how much of a caveman he's always been? It's ridiculous.”

  No one tries to refute her on that. They're all very well aware of how overprotective and ridiculous I am. Although I'm starting to wonder if maybe overprotective is just another word I like to use instead of jealous.

  Because I can admit to being jealous back then. Irrationally so. I didn't want Lila kissing anybody or having anyone else take her attention off of me. I've always been selfish with her, and it's something to this day that I've not grown out of.

  Lila flips her hair over her shoulder and rolls her eyes at me. I'm too busy staring at the mark that's now on full display for everyone in the Union to see.

  So yeah, I might actually be jealous.

  And yeah, I might have a thing for my best friend.

  This is going to be a disaster.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lila

  “...but what you're really going to love is that it's a dance,” Nina keeps going.

  “Why would I love that it's a dance?” I ask before rolling onto my stomach to look at her right-side instead of upside down. “I'm not even invited,” I point out.

  “You will be.”

>   That makes me snort. “By who?”

  “I thought Killian asked you last year?” Nina frowns at me.

  “He did,” I answer bluntly. “Up until twenty minutes before he was supposed to come get me and then texted to tell me he was taking another girl.”

  “He did what?” Her mouth falls open.

  “It was last year,” I tell her. “Put your murdery face away.”

  “Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't I know about this?”

  “Because it wasn't a big deal?” I shrug. “Just like this year it isn't a big deal.”

  “It's the sports banquet for after the playoffs, win or lose! Of course it's a big deal.”

  Maybe to her, but not to me.

  “I'll ask him to take you. I need someone to talk to while they drone on and on about sports.”

  “You do realize, like you just pointed out, that it's a sports banquet?”

  “So?” Nina stomps her foot in irritation. “I still want you to come.”

  “I don't get to make that decision. And besides, it's two months away. Killian could meet someone by then and be happy.”

  “He won't,” she answers matter-of-factly.

  “Pray tell, how do you know that?” I raise my eyebrows at her.

  “Lila, you're obtuse.”

  “No, I'm not.”

  “You're the exact kind of girl he's looking for. You fit his description to a T of what he wants in a girl. Doesn't care about his popularity? You. Doesn't care if he goes to the NFL? You. Doesn't want someone to fawn all over him? Definitely you. Are you noticing a pattern here?”

  “Me.”

  Nina smiles, pleased with my answer. “Exactly.”

  “Doesn't matter. Just because I fit the criteria doesn't mean he thinks of me that way.”

  “So it's just one major coincidence that he describes you but doesn't want you? That's really what you're going with here?”

  “It's all I've got.”

  “Why?” She rolls her eyes. “Because you think he couldn't possibly be into you?”

  “I don't have to think, I know he isn't. He's never made any moves on me.”

  “Oh,” Nina deadpans, “you mean like when he got all up in your grill and started making sexy moves on you? Or when he gave you a hickey? Yeah,” she snorts, “that definitely sounds like someone who isn't into you.”

  “He didn't know it was me! And he called it a mistake.”

  “Potato, po-tah-toe.”

  “It is not!”

  Nina squints at me. “Do you like him, Lila?”

  “What?” I reel back as much as I can from my position on the bed.

  Nina answers slowly, enunciating each word as she speaks, “Do you like Killian Blane?”

  “I don't know. Maybe.”

  “That's not a no.”

  “It's not a yes.”

  Nina glares at me. “I can't tell if you're being a moron on purpose or you actually have no idea. But I'm pretty sure you do. And there's nothing wrong with it. It was bound to happen eventually.”

  “What's that supposed to mean?” I gape.

  “Oh, come on, Lila. He's freaking gorgeous. You're not blind.”

  “I can admit he's gorgeous.”

  “The kind of gorgeous you want to tackle and make out with.”

  “Oh, so now I'm tackling him?” I snort.

  “You should.”

  “Nina!” I stare at her. She's insane if she thinks that's something I really want to do. Well, it might be now that I think about it some more.

  “What?” she asks, looking taken aback.

  “I can't just, you know, go around tackling people.”

  “You wouldn't be tackling people, just Killian.” Her eyes light up. “Get it? You'd be tackling him, since he plays football? I'm so hilarious.”

  “Real Comedy Central material here,” I deadpan.

  “Besides, you should've seen the way you two looked together at that party.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Definitely into one another.”

  “We didn't even know who the other one was!”

  “So? That's just chemistry speaking for itself.”

  “I don't want to have chemistry with Killian.”

  Nina blinks at me. “I think you do. I think you've been around long enough to realize that you're perfect for each other and you just don't want to get hurt. Think about it, Lila. I've been your friend for three years now. How many conversations have we had about Killian?” She gentles her tone to add, “It's okay to have a crush on someone that literally everyone on campus has a crush on.”

  “If I just agree can we stop talking about this?”

  “Probably not, but I'll take your agreement that you like him.”

  I roll over so I can sit upright and sigh heavily. “Okay, so I might have a crush on Killian. Maybe.”

  “Why is this so confusing for you?”

  “Because I don't think about him that way. And then, you know, that night happened. And I just keep thinking about how I liked it, before I realized it was Killian. It put butterflies in my stomach. But maybe it's just from the alcohol and not knowing who it was.”

  “We didn't drink but two beers each that night. And you're not a lightweight, so I don't think you can blame it on the alcohol.”

  Which means the butterflies were real.

  Great. Just great.

  “So I guess I like Killian.” The words feel funny coming out of my mouth. New and a little scary. “This is going to be a disaster, you realize that don't you?”

  “Why would it be a disaster?”

  “Oh, gee, I don't know. Maybe because he's my best friend?”

  “Best friends fall in love all the time.”

  “We're not in love! I don't even know if he likes me.”

  Nina stares at me. Her eyes flicker towards the door then back to me. I can already see where her mind is going, but she says it anyways. “Go tell him.”

  “Are you insane?” I screech. “Why would I do that?”

  She gives me her best Duh face. “Because you like him.”

  Yeah, definitely going to be a disaster.

  I take it back. What I thought would be a disaster before wasn't anywhere close to how I'm feeling right now. The football team is throwing a backyard barbeque. Or maybe backyard-of-the-apartment-complex barbeque would be more accurate.

  Either way there's a massive amount of people here and Nina finally found an outfit to wear after searching all morning. Why anyone felt the need to dress up just to eat a hamburger was beyond me.

  Killian's standing next to Alex and Ian, looking deep in conversation. So I take this time to look at Killian, really look at him from my new perspective of liking him.

  He's wearing jeans and a t-shirt. The material of each molding to his body like they were made specifically for him. Whoever said guys with flat butts are nice, lied. Because his ass looks amazing and it's definitely not flat.

  Normally I'd be shoving these thoughts away, and it takes me a moment to remember that it's okay if I like him. Just because, like Nina pointed out earlier, I have a small crush on someone that everyone on campus has a crush on, it doesn't mean I have to act on it.

  At that moment, as if Killian can sense me behind him, he turns and locks eyes with me immediately. Almost like a magnet.

  “You're here,” Killian says.

  “Why wouldn't I be here?”

  “Usually you're early.” He points up to where the window of my apartment is. “Since you live right there.”

  “It look Nina longer than I thought to pick out an outfit.” I turn to gesture towards Nina on the opposite side of the lawn. She's got on a skirt and a fancy tank top.

  “That explains it,” Killian smiles.

  “Hey, Lila,” Alex says from over Killian's shoulder. “It's so nice of you to ask me and Ian how we are. We're doing great, thanks for asking.”

  Ian snorts.

  “Hi guys,” I wave to them and step into their little circle.

>   “So what's up?” Ian asks.

  “Not much.”

  “Anything new?” Alex ponders

  Jesus. Do I have I like Killian Blane tattooed on my forehead and no one told me? I didn't think so. “Not really.”

  “So where's Brad?” Ian asks and looks around the yard. “Did you invite him?”

  “Ah,” I scratch the back of my neck, “no. No, I didn't.”

  “What happened to your date? Did it not go well?” Ian frowns.

  “Look,” I sigh. “I just told him I wasn't interested in him anymore and we went our separate ways.”

  “You did?” Killian looks like he's not sure if he believes me or not.

  “Well, he hates you,” I remind Killian. “And I just don't like the fact that everyone thinks I'm some either weirdo or goddess for not having knocked boots with you.”

  “So his dislike of me meant you didn't want to be with him?” Killian looks far too pleased by that.

  “Not exactly,” I roll my eyes.

  Before either of us can say anything else, a few girls slip between Killian and me. One keeps going until she's standing next to Alex, while the two others are practically pawing at Killian’s shirt.

  “Ladies,” Ian smirks. He slips from between Killian and Alex to stand next to me. He lowers his voice and says, “You'd think these groupies would give them one minute of peace, but no.”

  “Why don't you have any groupies?” I ask him in a hushed tone.

  “I do,” Ian shrugs. “But I've never actually gotten involved with any of them, so they don't come up to me like they do with these two idiots.” He pauses. “Well, they do sometimes but very rarely.”

  “Jeez,” I wince. Looking back over at Killian, it takes every bone in my body to not react to the fact he's got both arms flung over those two girls. He's not paying a lick of attention to them while he carries on a conversation with Alex.

  “Killian,” one of them whines and tugs on his shirt that she's got fisted in her hand.

  He glances down at her and frowns a little. “What?”

  “We wanted to know if you'd come dance with us,” she complains.

  Killian glances over to the makeshift dance floor where there's mostly girls moving around. “No, I'm good for right now, but thanks for asking.”