Lila licks her lips. “Do you remember when you started calling me baby doll?”
“Yeah,” I frown. She's totally gone off her rocker now. I have no idea where she's heading with this. “You used to carry around that Godawful baby doll that only blinked one eye because the other one fell out. It was frightening and you refused to throw it away.”
“And do you remember in high school all the girls that used to get really mad that you would call me that?”
No. I feel almost ashamed to say I didn't know any better to know if that hurt a girl’s feelings. It's just something I've always called Lila, never thought twice about not calling her it just to satisfy someone else. I shake my head.
“Well, it happened.”
“I'm lost. You're angry that I call you baby doll? It's been fourteen years, you could've said something a little sooner if you didn't like it.”
“That's not the point.”
“Lila,” I groan in exasperation. “What the hell is the point?”
“I'm confused,” she answers slowly, but that still doesn't make any fucking sense to me.
“About what? You've known for over half your life why I call you that.”
“Killian, I'm trying to tell you something important.”
I pull in a long breath and look at her. She's worrying her lip with her teeth and I soften a bit. She looks like she's ready to bolt out of the room or throw up. Neither are exactly something I'd be okay with.
“I'm confused,” she repeats almost in a whisper, “about you.”
“About me?” I repeat and frown.
“Yeah.”
“Why? What did I do?”
“It's not something you did, it just sort of happened.”
“Okay,” I answer slowly, not following her at all. “Because I don't want a relationship and neither do you? So I made you confused about what you want?”
“No. Yes. I don't know,” Lila tosses her head back on the couch. “I'm just going to say it and I don't want you to say anything, okay?”
“Okay,” I frown.
“I think I like you.”
Did Hell just freeze over? Am I dead or did she really just say that? And she told me not to say anything.
God, she caught me so off guard that she pretty much rendered me speechless. I thought I was the only one feeling this way.
I'm moving before I even realize it. Cupping the back of her neck and dragging her face towards mine. There's no time to register the shock and make her aware of what I'm doing, although I'm pretty damn sure it's obvious.
There's absolutely nothing in the world that could have prepared me for Lila's kiss. She smells like warm vanilla cupcakes and it's an addicting scent that makes the kiss feel heady and drugging.
I don't let it last long, maybe a few long, drawn-out seconds before I pull away and stand up. My hands are shaking, my heart beating too hard in my chest.
You're supposed to give her two months, Killian.
Right. And with that thought, I turn and walk calmly out of Lila’s apartment to the four feet it takes for me to enter my own.
That line in the sand?
It's gone.
Chapter Fifteen
Lila
The air feels stale, if that's even possible.
It's like the moment he took over my senses, I could no longer think straight. To be fair, I had already quit thinking straight when I decided to tell Killian what was bothering me.
It was too much pressure, like a balloon filled with too much air that it was bound to pop. And I popped.
And he kissed me.
And then he walked out and took all the air with him, leaving me with stale air and a whole lot of confusion.
Did that really just happen?
I pinch my arm, then rub at the angry red mark. Okay, so it was real. He really kissed me.
Holy shit, Killian Blane kissed me.
My best friend. My partner in crime I've had since I was kid. Someone who drives me insane and makes me happy all in one swift go around.
And now I'm angry. He fucking left.
Before I can rationalize what I'm doing, I'm moving to my front door and start slapping my palm against his door in anger.
It opens a fraction of an inch, but I shove my way inside. Too hyped up on adrenaline to know any better.
“What did you do that for?” I demand loudly. My quiet, shy filter is long gone.
“What did I do what for?”
I poke him in the chest with my finger and say, “You kissed me! Again.”
“If you want to be technical about it, I kissed you when we were ten.”
“Killian!”
He looks like a stone has settled over his face. Something that makes it impossible for me to read what is happening here.
“What just happened?” I feel like the floor has been ripped out from under my feet.
“You said you thought you liked me. And to not say anything afterwards.”
“So the logical conclusion to all of that was to kiss me?”
“Lila,” Killian sighs, “you think you like me. Why do you think that?”
“I don't know.” I shift on my feet.
“I want an answer.”
“Well, so do I.”
“You first.”
What are we, twelve? I resist the urge to kick him in the shin and fold my arms across my chest. This is already embarrassing enough, and it's not ever going to be not embarrassing so I might as well keep digging my hole.
“You can tell me,” Killian gentles his voice, but the stoney look on his face remains.
“I don't know. You were just there one day.” I press my back into the wall in the hallway. “I don't know how.”
Killian gives me a crooked smile. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Now it's your turn,” I point my finger at him again because he's too far to poke in the chest now. “Why did you kiss me?”
“I wanted to see if you were serious or not.”
Really? So he kissed me so he could figure out if I was serious? Goodness, that hurts a little.
“You should probably go back to your place now, Lila.”
“Oh.”
Killian shifts until he's got his arms braced above my head, staring down at me with hooded eyes. “You need to go, Lila, before I kiss you again. I'm barely hanging on to my resolve as it is, baby doll. So you need to go.”
Part of my wants to be brazen, take the initiative and kiss him. Do a little happy dance that at least I'm not alone in this messed up way of feeling things for each other. But the other part, the one that's warning me very loudly that if this goes too far that there's no going back, has me ducking under Killian's arm so I'm closer to the front door.
“I'll see you later, Lila,” Killian says while facing the wall. He drops his forehead down to rest against the drywall and shuts his eyes.
I can't seem to get words out from around the ball now stuck in my throat. So I nod my head, even though he can't see me, and step out the door.
Once outside, I press my back up against his door and close my eyes.
There's a chance that our friendship is already going up in smoke, and I don't even care.
My attention is shot to hell.
It's Wednesday, and except for catching fleeting glances of Killian on campus, I haven't really seen him in two days.
I feel like my whole world has been tipped on its axis, and I have no idea what to do about it. Or who to talk to. I've been avoiding Nina. Because while she means good, she tends to play into the fairy tale aspect more than the realistic one.
Unfortunately for me, today just seems to not be my day as Brad steps into the classroom and spots me.
There's no way he can play it off like he wasn't looking for me, considering he's not even in any art classes. And I'm only proving myself right as he steps into my studio space.
“Hey,” he says and shoves his hands into his black jeans.
Wow, he really is wearing all black. H
ow had I not noticed that before? Because you wanted to move on from Jared. Right, because of that.
“So,” Brad clears his throat. “How are you?”
Confused. “Fine.”
“I feel terrible the way we left things.” He shifts on his feet. “So, I'm sorry.”
“Okay.” I'm not in the mood to deal with him, but I'm too polite to just outright tell him to go away.
“About the Killian thing,” Brad adds, like I didn't catch what he was apologizing for. “I shouldn't have said those things to you. He's your best friend.”
“Thanks.” Go away.
“But, I mean, I wasn't too far off the mark, was I?” Brad shrugs. “So now it's your turn.”
“My turn to what?” I frown.
“To apologize to me.”
He's got to be joking, but his face says he's serious. “Why would I apologize to you?”
“I saw the pictures of the party, Lila. Who knew Killian couldn't even manage to get every girl on campus so he throws himself at you.” Brad shakes his head. “That's where the mark on your neck came from. I can understand why you'd be embarrassed to tell me Killian attacked you.”
Now that makes me bristle. “Killian didn't attack me, we were both drunk. Neither of us knew who the other one was because I didn't turn around. So no, I don't owe you an apology. I'm not your girlfriend and never was.”
Brad frowns. “But I thought we had a good time together.”
Maybe that first night when we met, but not since then. “No. We didn't. And that's why I ended things. I don't like being talked down to and Killian and I aren't anybody else's business.” I fold my arms across my chest.
“I don't know why I even bothered. You're just going to turn into one of the thousands of girls he's slept with,” Brad huffs in disgust.
“Hey!” I yell rather loudly, knowing people are going to start eavesdropping but I don't care. “First off, I don't care if you hate Killian because he slept with your loser ex-girlfriend who obviously didn't give two shits about you, but don't ever talk to me like that.”
“Or what? You're going to get Killian to come beat me up like he did your ex? I heard all about that little stunt,” Brad wrinkles his nose. “I've been wanting to pound that shit-stains face in since I knew who he was.”
I don't think, I just react.
I pull my fist back before whirling it into Brad’s smug face. That, albeit, doesn't look so smug anymore as blood starts dripping down his nose.
His face jerks back, eyes wide, as he makes this high-pitched whine noise before darting out of my studio and running for the staircase.
“Shit,” I breathe out and grip my wrist tightly in my hand. “Holy shit, this hurts.”
Jane pokes her head around my studio, eyebrows raised as she looks over at me. Her mouth falls open. “Oh my God, Lila, did you just punch him?”
“Yeah,” I wince and start hopping side to side. “No wonder guys do that, it felt good. But dear God, I think I broke my hand.”
“Shit,” Jane winces and comes over to me. “Let me see it.”
I hold it out and she takes my wrist, not touching my knuckles that are starting to swell and are bleeding. It looks gross.
“Well, you're definitely going to need to get it bandaged. Come on, let's go to the clinic.”
“I'm going to be in so much trouble. I just hit a student,” I say in horror. “They're going to kick me out of school.”
“No, they aren't. We could all hear you, and he totally deserved it.” Jane reaches down, her hippie skirt swaying around her knees as she picks up my backpack. “Let's go.”
We walk out of the building, several pairs of eyes straining to get a look at us. There's little splatters of blood on the ground from where it's running down my hand.
“I think you split it open pretty good,” Jane winces as we walk along the pathway.
“I think I need to amputate my hand off,” I sniffle, the pain settling in tenfold.
“This is why girls don't go around punching guys. Their faces are made of concrete.”
I sputter out a laugh. “Yeah, I'll gladly agree to that.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I broke my hand once punching someone. I was learning boxing, I wasn't listening to my coaches properly so I broke my hand.” Jane gives me a sympathetic look. “You'll be okay once it gets looked at.”
“Yeah,” I grunt.
When we make it to the clinic, they give me a rag and a clipboard to fill out. Jane takes the clipboard while I lay my hand on the rag, it hurts too much to try and wipe off any blood.
“Lila Summers, born May 11th, 1994.”
Jane scribbles down my answers on the clipboard for all my information, including in the description box that wants me to explain why I'm here.
“Just write ‘I think I broke my hand’.”
“Defending yourself,” Jane tacks on to the end, but I roll my eyes.
“I doubt Brad was going to hit me.”
“Doesn't matter. He was getting all up in your face and screaming.”
“That's not an excuse.”
“Trust me, it's going to be fine. You might get written up to the Dean, but they're not going to kick you out of school. They let underage kids go out and party on the weekends and wind up with alcohol poisoning and don't kick them out.”
“That seems like a completely separate thing,” I point out.
“Well, it's close enough.”
Some perky young nurse calls me back, and Jane goes with me to hand her the clipboard. The nurse gives me a funny look, and I have a feeling she's wondering how someone so small decided it would be a bright idea to hit someone.
It wasn't.
And an hour and twenty minutes later, after having my hand x-rayed and put into a splint, the campus police dismissing the case and moving along, I'm finally free to leave the clinic with a lighter feeling in my chest.
But that also might be the painkillers they gave me.
I bet I'll sleep really well tonight with these things.
“Oh God,” I groan and smack my forehead with my uninjured hand.
“What is it?” Jane asks as she shifts so I can slide my backpack on my back.
“It's Wednesday.”
“And?”
“It's the day I hangout with Killian.”
“Oh,” Jane looks a around campus. People are spilling out of buildings and moving along with their day. “I take it this is going to be a bad thing?”
“He might murder Brad.”
“And that's a bad thing?”
“I mean murder him literally.”
“He is overprotective,” Jane agrees. “So it's possible.”
I give her a look.
“Okay, it'll probably happen,” she shrugs. “But you'll be okay.”
I blow out a breath.
Nothing about this week has been anything close to okay.
Chapter Sixteen
Killian
I'm nervous as hell. My palms are sweating and I'm pretty sure I just broke out into a full body sweat at the thought of Lila coming over tonight.
I'd just sent a text message to her, telling her I was going to pick up some chicken and wedge fries for tonight, but she hasn't answered me.
Alex leans against Ian’s side from beside me and jerks his chin in my direction. “Ian,” Alex says, “do you think Killian's been acting weird since the beginning of this week?”
“Why, Alex,” Ian adapts a stuffy accent, “I was beginning to think I was the only one who noticed.” He drops the accent and glances at me. “Dude, are you alright?”
“I'm fine,” I deadpan.
“You look like a preteen girl trying not to pass out when a hot guy says hi to her,” Alex smirks.
I flip him off in response.
“Seriously, man, what happened with Lila?” Ian asks, stepping in front of me.
I clench my jaw and move around him. “Nothing.”
My two idiot friends share a look
that makes me want to caveman yell at the sky.
“Would you two quit trying to interfere with my life?” I demand.
“Uh, no. Your life is fun to interfere in,” Ian shrugs nonchalantly.
“Plus, we’re your wingmen,” Alex adds. “So, therefore, we need to know what's going on to help you out.”
“I kissed her.”
“Woah,” Ian steps in front of me again. “What did you just say?”
“I said I kissed her,” I sigh and stop walking.
“Like, you actually kissed her?” Alex asks, looking dumbfounded.
“Jesus, yes. I fucking kissed Lila,” I glare.
“But, I thought you were going to wait?” Ian frowns.
“I do. I am. That's why I walked away afterwards. It was barely even a kiss,” I shrug.
“You walked away?” Alex gapes. “Are you out of your mind?”
“Yeah, I am,” I snap at both of them. “I was trying to be the nice guy and give her space to figure herself out and what she wanted. And she decided to drop a fucking bomb on me and tell me she likes me. What was I supposed to do?”
Alex immediately responds with, “Kiss her.”
I deflate a little bit at that. “I didn't mess it up, did I?”
“Your friendship?” Ian asks. “That's up shit creek without a paddle. You can't just go back after kissing your best friend. But you've finally gotten out of the friend zone,” he smirks and claps a hand on my shoulder. “Congratulations, man.”
“Shut up,” I grunt.
“Killian and Lila sitting in a tree,” Alex starts singing in a girly voice.
“I hate you,” I point at the quarterback.
“Oh, you do not,” Alex laughs. “So how was it?”
“How was what?”
“The kiss, asshole,” Alex rolls his eyes. “Was it everything you were hoping it would be?”
I pause. Was it? I didn't really go into it thinking of how it would be, or thinking at all for that matter. Just this overwhelming need to kiss her.
“Look at his face,” Ian snorts. “Of course it was everything he wanted.”
“Really need to get you two girlfriends,” I point to both of them and shake my head. “You're way too invested in my life.”
The Wrong Way: Hanson University: One Page 11
