The Wrong Way: Hanson University: One

by McKenna Kerrick

  Suddenly, Alex pops through an opening from around us and falls down into his chest on our picnic blanket.

  “Hey, douchebag,” Ian nudges Alex’s shoulder with his foot. “Next time we say we're having a relaxing day, don't invite the entire campus.”

  “I was in a great mood,” Alex groans, not looking up at anybody. “I feel like a nap.”

  “You can't nap in the middle of a party you decided to throw,” Killian snorts.

  “Why did I decide this was a smart idea?” Alex asks.

  “I don't know, we tried asking you that when you invited everyone,” Ian shakes his head. “You didn't have an answer then either.”

  “Next time someone just take the microphone from me,” Alex grunts.

  “Dually noted,” Killian says.

  Alex tilts his head, still on his chest as he moves to eye me and Killian. He shoves himself up on his elbows and points at both of us. “What's this?”

  “What's what?” I ask.

  “Oh God, here they go again,” Ian grunts. “They're together.”

  “Finally!” Alex yells loud enough that several people turn in our direction. “God knows we've been waiting long enough for you two to get your heads out of your asses.”

  “We’re taking it one step at a time,” I tell Alex.

  “Oh jeez, that's the line you're going with?” Alex scowls. “Just date like normal people. Why are you making this so much harder than it needs to be?”

  “Hey!” Nina jumps in. “That was my advice.”

  “You basically said what Alex did not even twenty minutes ago,” Ian chuckles at Nina.

  “Our friends are weird,” Killian leans into my shoulder. He drops a quick kiss on my arm like it's the most natural thing to do.

  “Very,” I agree.

  “Wow,” a girl sits down next to Alex on our blanket.

  All of us turn to stare at her for invading our little circle amongst the mayhem currently going on. She's got blond and pink hair, way too tight of clothes, and I can only imagine she's part of the football bimbo brigade.

  “Uh, who are you?” Nina leans forward to ask her. Sometimes it was nice that her filter didn't always work around people, because then I didn't have to be the one to ask.

  “Who are you?” the girl replies with a flip of her hair over her shoulder.

  No, really. She seriously just did the most iconic stereotypical girl move ever.

  “Shoo,” Nina waves her hands. “This is a private blanket.”

  Ian laughs at that.

  “Oh boy,” Killian grumbles when the girl turns to stare at him.

  “Do you know her?” I whisper.

  “Nope,” Killian says at normal volume.

  I yelp when he reaches over, looping an arm around me and hauling me onto his lap for everyone to see. Making sure my injured hand doesn't hit him, I lay it in my lap and settle back into his massive frame.

  “You're with her?” the girl asks.

  Oh sweet Jesus, football bimbos are actually brainless sometimes. “Yup,” I answer before Killian or anyone else can.

  “What happened to your hand?” she squints at me.

  “I punched someone who was annoying the daylights out of me,” I smile sweetly at her.

  Killian laughs behind me and Nina rolls her eyes. Yes, I know how to be catty when need be.

  “What are you doing over here?” Ian asks the girl.

  “I figured since Alex invited me, I'd come hang out with him and his friends,” she explains.

  “Alex invited everyone,” Ian clarifies.

  “But he told me I should come as he was leaving the stadium,” she says haughtily.

  “I did?” Alex frowns.

  Killian’s chest shakes me a little as he laughs behind me. Dear God, Alex is completely hopeless. And it seems like the football bimbo is catching on to that as she glares daggers at him.

  “You did!” she exclaims. “I thought we were going to meet up.” The poor girl stands up in a huff and marches into the crowd.

  “Wait!” Alex hollers after her. “We can totally hook up!”

  “She said meet up, doofus,” Nina laughs.

  Alex gives her a confused look. “What's the difference?”

  “Oh sweet baby Jesus, I can't deal with him,” Nina says to Ian. “It's your turn. I might kill him.”

  “I'm too handsome to kill,” Alex shakes his head.

  “Not,” my roommate points her finger at him.

  “You're not going to win, Alex,” I tell him. “Just give up now.”

  “This sucks,” the quarterback grumbles.

  “Why do I have to be the one to deal with him?” Ian scowls. “He got himself into this mess.”

  “Dude, I just lost a girl, don't be an ass,” Alex grunts. “My heart is broken.”

  “You're so full of shit,” Killian laughs.

  “I like how she got all snooty about Lila,” Nina waves her hand in my direction.

  “Everyone gets snooty at Lila, she's way prettier than they are,” Killian says and wraps his arms around my front, giving me a hug.

  “Plus, there's you,” Nina smirks. “You're very affectionate now.”

  “Hey,” Killian huffs, “I'm a very affectionate person.”

  “To Lila,” Nina says.

  “Who else am I supposed to be affectionate for?” Killian chuckles behind me. “Definitely not Ian or Alex.”

  “Hey, fuck you,” Alex says and lifts his middle finger in a salute.

  “No thanks. I don't swing that way,” Killian states firmly.

  “You're so mean,” Alex says in a fake girly voice. “I'm definitely attractive.” He pauses. “And way hotter than you are.”

  “Sure you are,” Killian deadpans.

  “Ian!” Alex exclaims in horror. “Tell him he's wrong.”

  “When did I become everyone's parent?” Ian asks to no one in particular. “How is this fair?”

  “It just is,” Alex shrugs.

  “God, I can't wait for you to get a girlfriend and see how much of your,” Ian waves a hand at Alex, “whatever, goes away.”

  “Charisma?” Nina supplies.

  “That,” Ian nods.

  “Hey,” Alex scowls. “I don't date.”

  “Neither did I,” Killian smirks. “Now look at me.”

  “You dated in high school,” I tell Alex and then turn my head to look at Killian before adding, “and so did you.”

  An angry look settles across Alex's face. “Let's not talk about high school.”

  “What happened in high school?” Nina asks.

  “None of your damn business,” Alex huffs. “Leave it alone.”

  “Touchy,” my roommate grumbles.

  A giant splash comes from the pond where one of the girls finally fell over into the water. A huge cheer goes up from passerbys.

  “I think there's more people here than in this entire town,” I shake my head. “Football parties are crazy.”

  “This is why you usually don't come,” Killian points out.

  Well, this was partially why I didn't come. Too many drunk people, plus too many people in general just seemed to be a disaster waiting to happen. Especially when they all meet up with the obnoxious football crowd. Far too many bad choices in one area.

  “Plus, this way Killian gets to show you off,” Ian says. “So there's that.”

  “Everyone who knows you, knows who Lila is,” Alex frowns.

  “Right,” Nina says. “But not everyone is close to Killian. So most have no idea who she is. It'll probably just take a few days for word to spread that they're seeing each other.”

  “Hello,” I wave my arms in the air. “The person you're speaking about is right here. She can hear you.”

  “Yeah, but we're just pointing out what will happen now that you're in public with Killian,” Alex explains. “Don't get your panties in a bind.”

  “They're not,” I roll my eyes.

  “Think you're ready to deal with havi
ng a girlfriend?” Ian asks.

  “Funny,” Killian scoffs, “I thought Lila and I decided to go slow.”

  “We did,” I agree. “Apparently they missed that memo that it was just us. Not all of us.”

  “Topic change,” Killian announces.

  “Does anyone have any idea how mad Coach is going to be when he finds out how large this party got?” Ian asks.

  “Shit,” Alex winces. “He's going to string me up by my balls and torture me.”

  Killian chuckles behind me. “You're not going to be tortured.”

  “Have you met Coach?” Alex scoffs. “I'll be lucky if I don't ride the bench the rest of the season. I mean it, next time someone stop me before I do something stupid.”

  “You know who would do a great job at making sure that happens?” Ian asks with an evil smirk.

  Alex doesn't hesitate before asking, “Who?”

  “A girlfriend,” Ian grins.

  Alex lets out several expletives and the rest of us fall into a fit of laughter.

  Chapter Twenty

  Killian

  The muscles in my arms are burning, which always gives way to the fact it's a good workout. It might not be conventional, but it definitely works.

  Ian tosses another straw bale over into the bed of the truck, while Alex lifts from the bed to stack it against the others.

  It's Sunday, the last one of the month and Lila's mom and my mom decided to have a cookout. Ian and Alex came to help me finish farm chores inside while Lila helps prepare food in the kitchen.

  She'd probably rather be out here, but our moms can be a little scary when getting their way. So being trapped in the kitchen might be a more accurate statement.

  Finally, the last straw bale is loaded onto the pickup. It wasn't that they were heavy, but constantly being in movement of up and down and side to side, it definitely took a strain on your muscles.

  “Are we done?” Ian pants, bracing his hands on his legs. “I think I'm going to die.”

  “Suck it up, buttercup,” Alex snorts and slaps him on the back. Of the two of us townies, Alex is back home on the farm far more often than I am. He doesn't even look like he's broken into a sweat.

  “Is this the part where some hot girl walks over here and offers us sweet tea?” Ian asks and glances longingly towards the back of the house where all the women are at.

  “No,” I roll my shoulders to stretch out the kink building up. “No one is going to waltz out here and offer you anything other than a tongue lashing if you expect someone to cater to you in this town.”

  “So I don't get a drink?” Ian asks.

  I slap him upside the head and sigh heavily. We've been out here for about four hours moving things around, so it probably was time for a break. “Sure,” I say. “Let's head inside for a bit.”

  Ian breathes a sigh of relief as we make our way towards the house. On the back deck, we take off our muddy boots before walking inside. My mother would skin me alive if I tracked dirt in her house. Usually, it wouldn't be a big deal to just vacuum it up, but three dirty boys who are tired aren't that motivated to clean up after themselves.

  Therefore: boots off.

  “Hello!” I holler out.

  “We’re in the kitchen!” my mother yells back. Like there's anywhere else in the house they'd be at.

  My mom and Mrs. Summers are cooking at the stove while Lila is sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar. She flickers her eyes towards our parents before looking at me again.

  Right. We haven't told them anything.

  “Maybe Killian and his friends will know,” Mrs. Summers says to my mom.

  “They're boys, I doubt they pay attention to things like that,” my mom shakes her head.

  “What don't we pay attention to?” Alex says and sits next to Lila at the counter.

  “We’re trying to find out if Lila has a nice young man in her life,” my mother explains. “But she isn't saying anything.”

  “Which always means it's something,” Mrs. Summers adds.

  “It's just not a big deal right now,” Lila sighs. “Honestly, it's a bit too soon to meet the parents.”

  Ha. That's the biggest load of horse shit I've ever smelled.

  “Killian, have you met him?” Mrs. Summers asks.

  “Oh yeah,” I play along, “he's pretty cool. A great catch.”

  Both of our mothers turn to stare at me. “Honey,” my mom says, “are you feeling alright? You never like Lila’s boyfriends.”

  “He plays football,” Alex smirks at me. “Must be why.”

  “You're dating a football player?” Lila’s mother gasps. “I didn't realize you were into guys who played sports.”

  “Totally,” Lila deadpans.

  I snort in response.

  “Ian,” my mother points a finger at him. “You're being awfully quiet. What do you know?”

  “Ah, nothing, Mrs. Blane,” Ian shrugs.

  “Ian.” Goodness, she's using her I’m a mother, don't mess with me voice.

  Ian, the weakest of us it seems, looks at me while pleading for help with his eyes. Glancing away from him, I arch my eyebrows at Lila.

  I can tell she doesn't want to start this merry-go-round of questions, but it's going to happen one way or another. Besides, just because Lila decided she wants to go slow doesn't mean I agree with that.

  I cross the room over towards her, placing my hand on the back of her neck when she looks up at me. Leaning down, I brush my mouth quickly against hers. Long enough our parents will notice, but not long enough that they're going to beat me with a wooden spoon.

  “Oh my God!” my mother screams, grabbing Mrs. Summers by the shoulders and shaking her. “He kissed her!”

  “He kissed her!” Lila’s mom yells at almost the same level of craziness as my mother.

  “You started this,” Lila sighs and leans her head back against me.

  “When did this happen?” my mother rapidly fires questions. “Why didn't I know about this? Is it new? Is Lila the girl you were conflicted over when you came back the other weekend?”

  “Mom,” I wince.

  “Alex, Ian, did you know?” Mrs. Summers demands.

  The two men have the decency to look ashamed while keeping their mouths shut.

  “Why does everyone know but me?” Mrs. Summer stomps her foot.

  “Me too!” my mother echoes angrily. “We're hip parents, we can be cool. Why wouldn't we approve of this?”

  “I don't know, maybe because you've been planning on this since we were babies?” Lila says sarcastically. “No one thought you wouldn't approve, just that you two would flip out.”

  “Who's flipping out?” Mrs. Summers flings her arm around my mother's shoulders. “We’re as cool as cucumbers.”

  “Yeah,” my mother lifts her chin in agreement.

  I imagine if Lila and Nina were twenty-five years older that they would mimic how our parents act almost perfectly.

  “Okay,” Lila laughs. “Sure you are. Either way, Killian and I are going slow. I want to go slow. We're not official or anything. I want time to enjoy something weird and new in my life, okay?”

  “So you two,” my mother points from Lila to me, “aren't dating?”

  “They're being complicated for no reason,” Alex says rather unhelpfully.

  “Yeah,” Ian agrees with him. “But they're going to do whatever they want with or without our input.”

  “Exactly,” Lila nods her head.

  My mom has a skeptical look on her face as she eyeballs me. “And you're okay with this? I would assume, and thank the Lord, that when you would settle down out of your flings with those girls that you would do it the right way.”

  That causes me to roll my eyes. “What makes you think I haven't tried?”

  “Lila,” Mrs. Summers looks at her daughter, “are you not letting Killian be an honest man?”

  Alex snorts next to me and Ian coughs a few times to hide his laughter. God I hate them. And can only imagin
e where they'll run with that comment Lila's mother just made.

  “Mom,” Lila groans and gives me her stink eye.

  “What?” I raise my hands in surrender. “I didn't say it.”

  “You started this,” Lila repeats. “This is all on you.”

  “So make an honest man out of him,” Alex laughs next to us. I pop him upside the head and shake my head. “What the hell, man?”

  “Language!” Mrs. Summers hollers at us.

  “Stop it,” I tell Alex.

  “I didn't start it, Lila’s mom said it first,” the quarterback pouts.

  “Not a good enough excuse,” I sigh. Sometimes bringing the guys home with me felt more like tacking on siblings in a sense. No wonder my parents stopped after me. More than one and we'd be too much of a handful.

  “This is going wonderful and all, but can we change the subject?” Lila asks. “When's the food going to be ready?”

  “You can't just drop a bomb on us that you're seeing Killian and then just toodle right along like it's not a big deal,” her mother replies.

  “But it's not a big deal,” Lila emphasizes.

  “If kind of is,” Ian clears his throat and steps away so he's on the other side of the counter where I can't reach him. “It's a new dynamic in our group.”

  “How does this change the group dynamic?” I roll my eyes.

  “Our group is pretty dysfunctional as it is,” Alex shrugs.

  “What if you two break up?” Ian asks.

  “We're not even dating!” Lila growls.

  Yeah, I'm definitely going to need to have a talk with her about that. Just because she's anti-label in this desire to be careful doesn't mean I'm all hunky-dory for it.

  “I did not hear this!” Mrs. Summers says. “I didn't hear my daughter just tell me she's knocking boots with her lifelong best friend just for funsies.”

  “I didn't say that, mom,” Lila groans. “Just that we weren't dating.”

  “Same thing! What the hell do you think you're doing?” her mother demands. “Just because you want to go slow doesn't mean you don't put a label on it. Otherwise everyone is going to get confused and someone's feelings are going to get hurt.”

  “Killian,” Lila sighs and looks up at me, “are your feelings hurt?”

  Are they? Not by much. Would I like to be able to beat my chest and warn off every guy that so much as breathes in her direction with an actual excuse for doing it? Hell yeah. “Now probably isn't the best time for this conversation,” I say instead.