Finally pulling up to the spaceport, Julian managed to sound marginally sane when he hailed them for docking. He and Barth slid into a free port and found themselves alongside the Kestrel.
Small favors, Julian thought grimly. At least his ship appeared undamaged. That seemed to confirm his suspicions. He spat out a quick greeting, the shocked voice of his communications officer filling the Eyas. Engaging the magnetic locks to secure the Eyas in the shuttle station, Julian looped his shoulder under Barth’s arms and they staggered off the ship together.
As the hatch opened, Julian caught a glimpse of a pale-faced Orifian standing on the space station’s docking platform. His chief mate stared with horror as they stepped off the shuttle and in a heartbeat, Julian knew that the man had been complicit in their capture.
“You…you’re dead,” Orifian gasped as Julian stepped away from Barth and staggered forward.
“Not yet, I’m not.” He waved to a nearby security officer. “You. Secure this man in the station’s brig.” Orifian began to voice his protest. Julian cut him off with a glare. “Once I’m feeling a bit better, we’re going to have a nice, long chat about how our ‘hosts’ were expecting us.”
He swayed in place, but did not avert his glare as the space station’s security crew raced forward to arrest Orifian.
Chapter Eleven
Border of Glemisian Space
Coalition Standard Date 113-229.7 (Present Day)
Julian hadn’t expected to be left alone as long as he was and had anticipated the soft chime on his door hours before it came. The crew aboard the Kestrel were a nosy bunch and unfortunately prone to gossip. It was a bad habit that none of them seemed inclined to shake and Julian had long ago stopped wasting his time trying to curb it.
Ellis was sleeping a bit better in Julian’s presence, but there had been no change in his condition. Julian released the hand he held and rose, smoothed the damp hair away from Ellis’s forehead and laid a kiss on his brow. He briefly stretched out stiff legs before crossing the room to answer the door chime. He was expecting Barth, the only one who could claim any relationship to Ellis since the ship’s break from the Coalition.
A willowy figure stood on the other side of the door. Julian frowned. Kaelem, his ship’s steward gazed back with serpentine black eyes. He waited for the captain to acknowledge him, not so much as glancing at the man in Julian’s bed.
Julian struggled inwardly. Kaelem had not been aboard when Ellis had joined them and could have nothing to say regarding the unconscious man. However it was so rare to see the Airthir anywhere outside his nest in the lower decks, it piqued Julian’s curiosity. He stepped back and waved the alien in.
“Thank you.” Kaelem’s voice whispered in Julian’s head and he moved gracefully into Julian’s quarters. He continued to ignore Ellis and crossed towards the large plastiglass window.
Julian closed his door and waited for Kaelem to speak. The Airthir were an enigmatic species—he knew less of them now than he had before Kaelem had come on board—but if he had learned anything, it was that they needed to be given time to collect their thoughts before speaking.
Kaelem tended to keep to himself and Julian rarely had the chance to study the alien in private. He stood close to seven feet tall, a foot of which was accounted for by his neck, and small scales covered his body. The similarities between his species and the snakes of Terra Prime ended there. Long golden hair-like fibers cascaded over thin shoulders, framing a face devoid of nose or mouth. Julian had yet to discover how they fed themselves—though with the technology available on Airtha, it probably wasn’t as mysterious as he imagined—and like all the members of his species, Kaelem spoke through a soothing telepathic voice. It was from that voice alone that Julian had arbitrarily assigned the being a gender. The asexuality of the Airthir made them alien even among the many disparate species dotting the planets of the galaxy.
“You have not called to ask for my assistance in reading your lover’s mind.”
Julian considered Kaelem’s words. “I didn’t even think of it.”
“Yes. This is why my people have such fondness for you.”
Julian got the impression of a low chuckle. Kaelem’s empty black gaze—devoid of iris or pupil—had unnerved him the first time he met the Airthir back when his crewmate had been nothing more than another passenger.
“But now that the thought has occurred to you, will you ask it of me?” Kaelem’s stare was inescapable and Julian found himself trapped in place.
His entire body froze. The Airthir was offering him a chance to truly speak to Ellis before his death, instead of whispering hopeless pleas in his ear. Julian considered what he knew of Airthir mindspeaking and shook his head. He might as well have asked the alien to engage in sexual intercourse, and that wasn’t something he would have demanded of anyone. Not even for Ellis. “No. Ellis would never forgive me if I asked it of you for his sake.”
“Fascinating.” Kaelem stepped forward, closer to Julian. The alien’s scent washed over him, reminding Julian of musty leaves and soil. The Airthir lifted a hand. “May I?”
Julian stared at the fingertips. He had never been subject to an Airthir’s scrutiny. Though the thought was unnerving, he nodded.
“Thank you.” Kaelem touched his fingertips to his eyelids.
For a painfully short moment, almost every memory of Ellis danced through his mind. Unable to stand the thought of reliving the time aboard the Ethervold, Julian tried to withdraw.
Kaelem, an impassive observer to the flood of images, allowed it. His unreadable face betrayed nothing. “My time here has been building to this moment.”
Julian frowned. “What?”
“When my people join aboard a human spacecraft, we are often asked to compromise. They are small things, at first. Humans call them ‘trivialities’ and tell us that they are barely worth mention. We are asked for a sense of what path would be the best to take, our impressions of prospective clients and whether they would be agreeable to negotiation. Slowly, it grows until an Airthir becomes little more than a tool to be used at the whim of a ship’s captain. You have never treated me as such, Julian. I therefore offer you two gifts.”
“Gifts?”
“I will facilitate a mindspeak between you and your lover.”
He wanted to resist, thinking of Ellis’s respect for the disparate alien species dotting the stars. But surely if Kaelem were offering, instead of being asked, it meant something? A guilty rush of pleasure washed through him. Despite the circumstances, his face broke into a smile.
Kaelem did not remark upon it. “The second is not a gift, but a sacred duty. Before the Coalition, my people pledged holy war against the Zzesstari.”
Julian blinked, unable to properly process the words. The Airthir were not warlike people. He could not imagine Kaelem raising a hand against anyone.
“Recounting this time gives my people no joy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I find your species’ predilection for unnecessary apologies endlessly curious. Regardless of your sympathy, believe that while we took no joy in it, we did take bloody satisfaction.” Something hard flickered momentarily in Kaelem’s thoughts, dark enough that even Julian caught the tail of it, but it was gone so quickly that Julian wondered if it had been there at all. “You are aware of the Airthir soul bond?”
“Only what you’ve said of it.” He knew that the bond existed only between Airthir who felt the deepest love, and acted to tie them together. He got the impression that the alien was scanning his thoughts.
“Your knowledge of the soul bond is indeed limited, but there is truth in your impressions. It does tie two of our kind together, but bonds can be forged between those who care nothing for one another. It can be forged in desire for power. For those less scrupulous among us, it can be used to indefinitely prolong one’s life.”
Julian’s thoughts flew to the ring on Ellis’s finger.
“We shared our knowledge with the Zzesstari
to save a race plagued by inbreeding and high infant mortality. Unlike humankind, who has been able to largely eliminate such defects through genetic therapy, it plagued the Zzesstari with such severity that three of every four offspring died within their first five years. The development of their race was prohibited, and they were on the cusp of extinction when we received their distress call.” Kaelem shifted. The movement was so strange to his usual stillness that Julian took a startled step backwards. “We chose to assist them and shared the knowledge of the soul bond so that their scientists might live long enough to develop a solution.” Kaelem paused. His tone filled with grief. “We were unfortunately deceived by their character.”
Images born of Kaelem’s memories flashed through Julian’s mind, leaving him with knowledge of which Kaelem was too pained to speak. He saw millions of people as sick as Ellis while the Zzesstari prospered. The Airthir attacked in horrifying warships to stop the abuse of their technology, turning the swamps of Zzesstar to battered plains of battle and destroying all but a fraction of the inhabitants. Those who remained scattered, the precious few remaining rings hoarded away among them, and gradually became known to Coalition space as “corpse-feelers” due to their shared characteristics with the dead.
The thought of genocide was sickening yet nothing but dark justification curled through Kaelem’s mind. The Zzesstari had perverted what should have been a sacred joining. Instead of working towards a long-term solution to their species’ ailments, they had killed indiscriminately to ease their suffering and enjoy effective immortality.
“Very few of the soul rings now remain,” Kaelem said, abruptly pulling the thoughts away and leaving Julian gasping for breath. “I can only imagine how one came to rest on your lover’s finger. Whatever the circumstances, it is our sacred duty to remove it. If we travel to Airtha at the quickest possible speed, we might yet save your Ellis.”
Julian stared at the Airthir with disbelief. For a bare moment, he had the impression of a smile.
“I can make no promises, Julian Gaspar. Yet in all my years, I’ve learned that something broken can be made whole again, if one but knows the means to mend it.”
“Thank you, Kaelem,” Julian whispered.
Kaelem did not so much as incline his head in acknowledgement. Instead, he started back towards the door in slow, methodic steps. “You must ready yourself for the mindspeak. It is draining on those who are not versed in our arts.” He paused at the door. “At least sixteen hours of sleep, Captain, and as much sustenance as your body will accept.”
The thought of eating anything was slightly nauseating, but Julian nodded.
“I shall advise our crew of the change in course. Until tomorrow, Captain.” With that, Kaelem dismissed himself from Julian’s quarters.
Julian stood rooted to the same spot, barely daring to look at Ellis. For the first time since he’d walked through the door and seen Ellis on his bed, a thread of real hope began to wind through him.
Quickly removing his shirt, he crossed the room and lay down next to his lover’s cold body. Reaching out, he brushed a lock of hair out of Ellis’s face before forcing his racing mind to rest.
Chapter Twelve
Unclaimed Space Route Designation 486AG, en route to Airtha Prime
Coalition Standard Date 113-231.2
Kaelem returned to Julian’s quarters exactly seventeen hours after leaving. The precision was uncanny, but it was something to which Julian had grown accustomed over the years since the Airthir had joined his crew.
Despite his flight crew’s assurances that the Kestrel was heading towards Airtha Prime as fast as she could take them, they were still more than a week out. Julian wasn’t sure if Ellis would be able to hold on that long. The thought left him keyed up and anxious, something even Kaelem’s usually calming presence couldn’t entirely rectify. The alien silently arranged himself near the foot of the bed.
At length, the steward gestured for him to come closer. “Please, Captain Gaspar, lie down.” Julian frowned. If he lay down as Kaelem instructed both he and Ellis would have their feet facing the Airthir instead of their heads. “I have done this before.”
Julian followed Kaelem’s instructions. Lying down, he twined his fingers with Ellis’s. “Should I close my eyes?”
“If you like. It may not help.” A cool hand wrapped around his ankle. “You will feel a sense of vertigo, Captain. It may be somewhat overwhelming, but I ask that you focus on Ellis. The memory of him. The smell. Anything that would draw you to him.”
Everything, Julian thought. Everything drew him to Ellis. He wasn’t sure if the Airthir gleaned the idea, but he sensed the alien smile. His skin warmed under Kaelem’s palm and small shocks began running up his leg. He lost the fight to keep his knee from twitching in response.
Ellis issued a disturbed groan and drew his attention. Julian’s response was choked off by the shocks suddenly increasing in magnitude. For a second, his entire body felt like it had just been hit by a bolt of electricity and jerked away from the bed in response. It never touched back down. He bit back a cry, drowned out by the dull roar suddenly thrumming through his ears. His perspective split. One moment, he was in his body, the next looking down at it. His physical form mimicked every movement he made, but seemed restrained to slower motions. It was enough to make him question his own sanity.
“Remember Ellis.”
He quickly moved his gaze to his lover and conjured up what images he recalled most vividly—their first meeting aboard the Halygast and the smell of him, the casual sexuality that he exuded and the taste of come and chocolate on his lips. Slowly Ellis materialized before him.
This was the Ellis he remembered, vibrant and full of life. Ellis’s name dropped almost silently from Julian’s lips. Ellis whipped around and looked at Julian like he was seeing him for the first time.
Absolute silence sat heavily between them. The minutest whisper of disbelief fell from Ellis’s lips and Julian suddenly found his arms full of the younger man. He was real—whole—and warm in his arms. Julian squeezed him tightly. The world around them faded as his senses were overwhelmed by the touch of his lover.
Ellis was shaking in his arms. Tears slid down his delicate cheekbones.
“Ellis?”
“Tell me I’m not dead. Tell me I made it back before…”
Julian roughly kissed Ellis’s brow. “You made it.” The shattered relief in his lover’s eyes almost broke him. “You’re back aboard the Kestrel.”
Tears streamed down Ellis’s cheeks. Then Ellis crushed his lips against Julian’s, hard and desperate all at once. Julian opened his mouth immediately. Tasting Ellis again was like drinking pure water after being parched for years. Nothing existed save the two of them. He stroked Ellis’s face with one hand, running his fingers up and down his lover’s cheek with infinite care and brushing away the still-falling tears.
They remained still and silent, wrapped in each other’s arms until all Julian knew was the sound of Ellis’s heart beating. A short eternity later, Julian pulled back and kissed the trails of tears on his face.
“Oh, Ellis, why did you—”
“I had to. Julian, he would have killed you. But every day for five years, I thought of you. I hoped…hoped that you wouldn’t forget me.” He did not pull out of Julian’s embrace.
“How could I forget half of my soul?” Julian asked. Ellis’s breath caught. “I love you, Ellis. I loved you the first moment I saw you. And I’m sorry that I made so many stupid mistakes…”
“I was no better than you. I never let on what this meant to me.” He wrapped his arms around Julian’s neck and hugged him close. “It means everything.” Julian swallowed the lump in his throat, content to hug his lover back. “How long do I have?”
“What?”
“I know better than anyone what the soul ring is doing to me.” He pulled back. “I’m dying, Julian.” Julian knew, but hearing it made it no easier to bear. “I’m not sure how we have this together, bu
t I’m so glad that we do.”
Julian nodded and kissed Ellis again. “We’re on our way to Airtha, Ellis. They’ll be able to help you. Just focus on holding on until then.”
A grim smile chased away a momentary shadow of doubt. “Airtha? He’ll be thrilled.” Ellis chuckled ruefully. “I’ve never known a person to be so filled with hate for any one species.”
Julian thought back to the conversation he’d shared with Kaelem. He could envision that sort of hate quite easily, even with his one side of the story. “Hold on for me, Ellis. I need the chance to tell you in person how much I love you, like I should have that first night and every night afterwards.”
“I’ll try. I promise. I want to, but I can still feel him trying to drag me away. He’s siphoning out pieces of my soul and I can’t stop him.” Ellis rested his head against Julian’s chest. “I heard from one of his crew that the Kestrel was docked on Glemisia and I knew it would be my last chance to see you.” Ellis kissed the skin above his heart. “I’m glad I risked it.”
“Ellis…”
Ellis placed a finger against Julian’s lips and hushed his lover. “Let’s just…be here. For as long as we can.”
Julian rested his cheek against the top of Ellis’s head.
Chapter Thirteen
Unclaimed Space Route Designation 486AG, en route to Airtha Prime
Coalition Standard Date 113-231.9
When he woke, Kaelem was gone. He wasn’t surprised by the Airthir’s absence. The mindspeak must have been draining. Julian extricated himself from Ellis’s embrace. He wasn’t sure if it was imagination or hope, but it appeared that some of the color had returned to Ellis’s face. Reaching out, he ran his fingers down Ellis’s cheek before dropping a gentle kiss on his lips and withdrawing from the bed. He made his way to the bathroom adjoining his quarters, heavy thoughts slowing his step.
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