by Wendy Smith
“Good morning.” Jenny smiles as I take my seat at reception. I almost feel like I should hold my fingers up to form a cross sign to ward her off. She’s so un-Jenny-like.
“Morning.”
“How are you doing today?”
I nod. “Good. Tired, but good.”
“Not too tired I hope.”
Ugh. She’s being too nice. It’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. “Just settling back into the old routine.”
“Let me know if you need anything.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
She disappears into her office, and I breathe a sigh of relief. This is what the past month’s been like. I think she got a real fright over what happened to me.
I look down at my bag.
Let’s get this over with.
I duck into the bathroom.
There’s no way I’m waiting to check this. If it’s negative, at least I’ll be put out of my misery and I can speak to the doctor about my missing period next time I see him.
It’s the longest two minutes of my life.
There are two pink lines.
TWO pink lines.
I pull out the spare test and pee on that too.
Two minutes. Two more lines.
I’m pregnant.
Son-of-a-bitch.
It’s been six weeks since the accident, and I’m two weeks overdue. I don’t remember getting my period in hospital either, but given the shock at my near-death experience, I’m not that surprised.
I’m not sure whether to be happy, sad, or angry at Cole. Even if it’s half my fault. He left me last time we had a baby. Will he take responsibility for this one?
I clean up and make my way to reception, the two positive tests in my bag. I’m not sure what to do, but my mind sure as hell isn’t on work.
“Are you okay?” Jenny asks as I return to the desk.
I nod. “Do you mind if I take a longer lunch break today? I have something I need to take care of.”
She shakes her head. “That’s no problem at all. Need help with anything?”
“I don’t think so. I’ve also got my neurologist to see next week too.”
“That’s fine.”
I don’t want to take her change in attitude for granted, and I appreciate a little leeway. Especially as I get my life back on track.
Although this morning’s discovery is going to set it all off-kilter again.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’ll miss my afternoon break to make up for it.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Thank you.”
As she walks away, I let out a long breath. Cole needs to know. It’s only right he’s the first person I tell. He told me he works not that far from here, so I’ll just go and get it over with.
And hope he doesn’t abandon me again.
It’s a sunny day, and although there’s a chill in the air, it’s lovely and warm in the sun.
I walk to Cole’s work, the news playing over and over in my head. How the hell do I tell him?
It doesn’t help that I keep thinking about the way he reacted the first time. I can’t get past that.
But I have to do it.
I walk across the car park toward the building.
As I reach the entrance, a tall, blond man walks out and does a double take.
“Brooke.” The man smiles widely, and I cock an eyebrow. Who is this? “I’m Mike. A friend of Cole’s. It’s good to see you looking so well.” He holds out his hand, and I shake it.
“Thanks. It’s good to feel so well.”
“You gave us quite a fright. Well, not you. I hope they catch the bastard who attacked you.”
“Me too.”
“I’ll show you the way to Cole’s office. I’m assuming you’re here to see him.”
“Yes.” I nod.
“Cole’s so proud of you and Kaia. I hear about you two all the time.”
My cheeks burn. I love that Cole’s told people about us, but at the same time what exactly has he told them?
“This way.” Mike leads me through the busy reception of the office building and down a corridor leading to a row of offices.
Turning toward the end, we walk into a room. There’s a woman sitting at a desk who gives me a curious look.
“Brooke, this is Liz. She’s Cole’s PA. Liz, this is Brooke.”
The woman gives me a strained smile. “The Brooke? It’s so good to meet you.”
For some reason, my guard goes straight up. I doubt that she doesn’t like me. She doesn’t seem know me, but her expression is hard to read.
“I thought I’d pop in and see Cole if he’s not busy.”
She nods. “I’m sure he’s not too busy for you. Take a seat and I’ll let him know you’re here.”
Mike guides me to a large, leather couch against the wall.
I sit, and smile at him. “Thank you.”
The door opens, and Cole walks out.
“Brooke?” His eyes light up, and it dawns on me that coming here has given him hope. I can’t bear to see it. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been avoiding him. “This is a nice surprise. You didn’t let me know you were coming.”
I burst into tears despite my promise to myself to be strong. My head’s been in such a spin, I didn’t even think to contact him first. Liz stares at me like I’ve got two heads, and Mike backs away.
“Come here.” Cole slips one arm around my shoulder as I stand, and leads me into his office to an equally large couch. I sit as he closes the door behind us and sits with me.
“Hey.” He pulls me into his arms, and I lean my head against his. “What’s going on?”
I can’t even find the words, and I reach into my bag and pull out the white stick. The one that keeps reminding me that we’ve done it again.
Without any words, I hand it to him.
He lets go of me and takes it. My stomach plummets at the shocked expression on his face. His initial reaction when I told him I was pregnant with Kaia terrified me. This is no different.
Until his lips curl into a smile.
“What? How?”
“Do I need to explain to you how babies are made, Cole?” I try my best to bring levity to the situation.
He chuckles. “No, but why wasn’t this picked up earlier? The doctors have been all over you with tests, haven’t they?”
I shrug. “I guess they weren’t looking for pregnancy. And it must have been really early when I was in hospital. My period was due about then. I guess I’ve missed two.”
He hugs me tighter.
“So, what do we do now?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. What do you want to do?” His lips are against my ear, and I close my eyes. Already the butterflies that were in my stomach are calming, even though nothing has been resolved.
“I don’t know either.” I lick my lips. “I’ve been avoiding dealing with us because I don’t know how to. There’s no way to keep doing that. We have to make some decisions together.”
He breaks away from me and nods. “I want you and Kaia to move in with me. And as painful as it is, I know you don’t want to do that. But I want you to know that no matter what, I’m here to do whatever you need me to. Financially and emotionally.”
Tears prick my eyes. This is so much better than the conversation we had when I discovered I was pregnant with Kaia. Cole was supportive then, but there’s something different now.
“I won’t run, Brooke. I’m here for the long haul. Because I love you so much.”
I let out a loud breath as the tears roll down my cheeks. It hurts that I can’t tell him I love him in return because my emotions are a jumble of what happened in the past, and fragments of memory that are too hard to reach.
He links his fingers with mine. “I know you don’t feel the same way right now, but you did, and I know some day you will again. I’ll wait. I have four bedrooms in my house, so me asking you to move in with me doesn’t mean I’m assuming you’ll sleep with
me.”
“There’s so much to think of. If we do that, it’s a lot harder to get to my night job.”
“You’d still do that?
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I need security, Cole. I need to know that if you’re not around, I can pay my bills.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Even if you don’t move in, I’ll make sure you have enough money to stay home with Kaia in the evenings. I don’t want you back at that place. You should be safe to walk home, but I can’t trust that you will be.”
“And I can’t trust that you’re going to stay and keep giving me child support. Look at what happened before.”
There’s so much pain in his eyes, but I’m not responsible for that. He made his choice, and it nearly killed me.
“Things are different now. We were strong and in love. And we have another baby on the way. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I just wish I felt that.”
The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but I do. It’s written all over his face.
I leave his office as confused as I was when I arrived.
It’s time to go back to work.
4
Cole
Five years ago
* * *
I wipe the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. It stings my eyes, and I blink to try and get rid of it.
“Want a towel?” Brooke asks. “I can go and ask your mother for one.”
“No, I’m fine. I’ve just got to change the spark plugs now and I’m done.” I smile. “This must be boring for you.”
She chews on her bottom lip. I know that look.
“What are you thinking about?”
She shrugs. “I was wondering if you wanted to go to the prom with me.”
For a moment, there’s an awkward silence. Her cheeks flush with color, and she looks away.
“Okay, I guess not.”
I shake my head. “Brooke, it’s not that I don’t want to. I already asked Kelly.”
“Kelly Peterson?”
“Yeah.” I suck in a breath because I know there’s no love lost between Brooke and Kelly. Kelly’s got a lot of bitchy friends, and none of them make time for Brooke.
“Good luck with that.” Brooke looks down at her feet.
“I didn’t think you’d be going to the prom. You never go out to any other social events.”
“My mom saved and got me a dress.”
My stomach falls to my knees. Brooke’s mom is all she has, and the woman spends half her life drunk. For her to get herself together enough to do that for her daughter says a lot about how much the prom means to her.
“That’s awesome.” I lick my lips. “I’m really sorry. A week ago, things might have been different.”
She shrugs. “It’s okay. I should get going. I’ve got to cook dinner tonight. Mom’s working.”
“Do you want to have dinner here?”
She shakes her head. “No. It’s fine. See you on Monday.”
“Let me give you a lift home.”
“I’ve got my bike. See you later.”
I watch as she climbs onto her bike and cycles down my driveway. I’m never sure how to help her. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had, and I want to do more for her, but I just know what my father would say.
As if summoned, he appears in the doorway leading into the house.
I close the hood of the car, and pick up the toolbox to put it away.
“Cole.”
I turn to see Dad approach.
“What was Brooke doing here?”
“She’s my friend, Dad. We were just hanging out.”
He frowns. “You need to discourage her. I know you two are close, but she’s not the type of girl you want around.”
My anger grows. “What type is that?”
“Her mother doesn’t exactly have a sterling reputation.”
“She’s not responsible for her mother’s actions.”
“Maybe not, but that girl is tarred with the same brush. Believe me. She’s hung around long enough. Cut the string before she puts her hand out.”
I drop the toolbox to the ground. It hits hard, the tools inside clanging together as they smack into each other.
“She’s never once asked for anything. She’s not like that. Maybe if you took the time to get to know her—”
“I don’t need to. I watched her mother suck her father dry until he died.”
“That doesn’t mean Brooke will be anything like her. She has a job, Dad, and she doesn’t want anything from me. We’re friends.”
He runs his fingers through his graying hair. “Just be careful.”
“Of what?
He turns and walks away. It makes me so angry. Mom has always been the one to welcome Brooke with open arms, but as we’ve gotten older, Dad’s been pushing me to drop her as a friend.
I’ll never do that.
I pinky promised.
The prom’s the following month.
Fleming Reid asked Brooke to go with him, and she accepted, and it bugs me because I’ve heard the way he’s talked about his sexual conquests. Other than that, he’s not a bad guy. I’ve known him nearly as long as I’ve known Brooke. I guess I just don’t want to see my best friend hurt.
I slip my arm around Kelly’s shoulders as we walk toward the school hall and take a deep breath.
“I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks,” she purrs, placing her hand on my chest.
Rock music pours out of the building, and we reach the door where teachers nod in recognition as we pass.
This is it. We’re all so close to leaving school and going onto college. I can’t wait. It means moving away from our small town, but I’m ready for it. I’m ready for anything.
“Cole.” Fleming smiles as we approach.
I fist bump him, and he grins.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, Fleming.”
“Ready for a big night?”
I nod. “It’s so good not to have exam stress.”
“Tell me about it.”
Gina Roberts walks toward us, a glass of punch in each hand. “Here we go.” She hands the second glass off to Fleming, and an uneasy feeling crawls over me.
“I thought you were here with Brooke Stevens.”
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
“She told me you asked her.”
Gina laughs. “Whatever. As if Fleming would have anything to do with that trash.”
Anger builds in me. “Don’t talk about her like that. She’s not a liar.”
She points at her shimmering gold gown. “This cost three hundred dollars. What would she have worn anyway? Something from Walmart?”
“Cole.” Kelly touches my arm, but I shake her off. “I’ll go and get us a drink.”
I don’t even acknowledge her as I stare Fleming down.
“I’ll go with Kelly. You two can talk.” Gina rolls her eyes and disappears through the crowd.
“What the fuck, dude?” I ask as soon as the girls leave us.
Fleming shrugs. “I did ask her, but I got a better offer.”
“A better offer?”
He grins the sleaziest grin I think I’ve ever seen. “Gina’s good to go. Your girl wasn’t going to put out.”
A knot forms in my stomach. Brooke never said a word about this, but I do know how excited she was to be coming. She must have been devastated at the rejection. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Maybe you should worry more about your date, and less about someone who lives in that part of town. I don’t know why you hang out with her. She’s so—”
“So, what?” Heat and anger rise inside me. It spills out as I fist my hands. I know that Brooke is looked down upon by some of my classmates. She’s smarter than all of them. And I’m not going to put up with them trashing her.
“Boring. Although maybe once someone gets some alcohol into that punch, it might make her more exciting. If you know what I mean.” He winks, and it’s the
biggest mistake he ever could have made.
There’s a crunch as my knuckles makes contact with his jaw. He goes down in a heap. Around us, people gasp. We’ve drawn a crowd.
Kelly comes racing back to my side, her eyes wide. “What did you do?”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Fleming says, rubbing his jaw.
“Maybe you should look in the mirror when you say that.” My hands are still fisted. My fury knows no bounds. His disrespect of my best friend is the end of whatever friendship I thought we had.
“What’s your problem?”
Two large hands appear on my shoulders, and I’m tugged backward. I find myself looking at Coach Belkin and his assistant.
“Out, Masters,” Coach says.
“You can’t kick him out,” Kelly cries.
“We told you all that there’d be no tolerance for this kind of thing.”
I nod. There’s no point causing further trouble. I meet Kelly’s wild gaze. She’s pissed, and I can’t blame her. But there’s also no way I’m apologizing for this.
It’s like everything makes sense. I thought that Brooke had won some of our classmates over with her sweet, gentle manner. Instead, these people are just a bunch of snobs. Snobs who don’t deserve her.
“How am I supposed to get home?” Kelly asks.
I shove my hand in my pocket and pull out my wallet. There’s always an emergency fifty-dollar note in there; my dad insists on it. I hand it to her. “This’ll pay for a cab. Unless you want to come with me now.”
She shakes her head. “I’m not leaving my prom because you were an idiot.”
“Didn’t think so.”
Coach still has a grip on my shoulder. He squeezes it.
“You don’t have to throw me out. I’ll leave.”
He releases me, and I walk away from the music and the other people I thought were friends. Brooke’s always been special to me. She’s helped keep me grounded. I thought we were all old enough to be over that.
For a moment, I sit in my car and stew. How dare Fleming assume that Brooke would sleep with him after a few drinks? Anger surges inside me again, and I just want to go back and have another go.
And what about Brooke? Why didn’t she tell me what Fleming did? Or let me know she wasn’t going to be at the prom?
