Meows, Magic, & Mayhem
Madison Johns
Contents
Copyright
Disclaimer
Blurb
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
About the Author
Other Books by this Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2016 Madison Johns
Meows, Magic, & Mayhem Madison Johns
All rights reserved.
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Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Blurb
Lake Forest witch Petunia Patterson enters her four cats in the first Lake Forest Cat Show, even though only three of them are really felines. One of them actually used to be a man before Petunia gave him a love potion that went haywire and changed him into a cat; but he’s a cat she communicates with telepathically.
The problem is her nemesis Maria Hoodwink and Maria’s mother Estelle also enter a cat in the show. Petunia doesn’t have time to worry about that, though, as poisoned champagne sickens entrants at the show and the grand marshal, Mr. Calhoun, is near death as a result.
Aunt Maxine shows up to save the day—but is her antidote really a cure or another problem? Fortunately, Petunia’s steady beau Noah Becker is on hand to help her solve the case, which becomes even more interesting when his parents show up in town to meet Petunia.
What is needed might be some old fashioned witchcraft, or could that be what caused the problem in the first place?
Chapter 1
Petunia picked up a pink ribbon and her cat Pansy shouted, “No way are you going to put that pink ribbon on me!” Once upon a time, Pansy was a man. That was before Petunia’s love potion went haywire and Jeremy was transformed into a black cat. Now he communicates with Petunia telepathically, which has proven to be problematic since Petunia often forgets and talks out loud!
Petunia wrinkled her nose at a pungent odor in the room and sneezed. A cloud of bubbles appeared and a few rambunctious children nearby popped the bubbles enthusiastically.
She hurried away with Pansy and hoped nobody noticed she was the source of the bubbles. Petunia’s claim to fame as a witch consisted of whipping up potions. But thanks to a drop of liquid bubbles that mistakenly fell into her tea, every time she sneezed, bubbles appeared.
Pansy hid under a table as a sales lady strutted over. “I can see you have a pink ribbon. They’re on sale two for a dollar, but you had better hurry and pick up some if you plan to enter the cat show.”
“Who says I have a cat?” Petunia asked.
“Your shirt is loaded with cat hair?”
Petunia glanced down at her black shirt and saw it had gray, white, and black hair on it! “It looks like I’m busted. I have three cats.” Pansy clawed Petunia’s sandaled foot from under the table. “I mean four cats: Sassy, Merlin, Gem, and Pansy.”
The woman clapped her hands. “How wonderful. Are you entering all of your cats into the show?”
“I wasn’t planning to, but my Aunt Maxine thinks it would be a good idea. Of course she’s a little eccentric and has no idea what it would take to bring all four cats to the show. I don’t even have four cat carriers.”
“We have a sale on carriers, too. Twenty-five percent off today.”
Petunia wrinkled her brow slightly and changed the subject. “I don’t think a pink ribbon would be the right color. What else do you have?”
The sales woman led Petunia back to the ribbon table and pulled out satin strips of blue, red, yellow, and green. “These might work.”
Petunia shook her head. “No, I think I’ll take four red and four white ribbons. That way I can see which ones looks better.”
“And how many carriers did you say you’d need?”
“Four if you insist, but I’ll need them delivered.”
Petunia paid, rattling off her address for the delivery, then she hurried out of the store with Pansy before the sales lady pushed more items on her. It was bad enough that besides the ribbons, she had also purchased cat treats galore.
She stopped outside the pet store and there was a huge sign that read, “Cat show Saturday. Register your pets by noon.”
“Saturday is tomorrow,” Pansy pointed out as, he joined Petunia on the sidewalk. “I’ll be a shoo-in to win the top prize.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“You mean you don’t think I’m handsome?”
“For a cat, I suppose, but don’t forget I have three other cats to sign up.”
“You’re not seriously taking Merlin, are you?”
“And why not?”
“I wasn’t aware there was a contest to see which cat can eat the most food.”
Petunia frowned and strutted along the sidewalk until Deputy Cartwright blocked her from crossing the street with her squad car. Then the passenger’s side door opened. “You know there’s a leash law, Petunia.”
“You know this is a cat, not a dog, right?”
“Yes, and you normally have that cat of yours on a leash. I’m shocked you decided to break the rules today.”
“What are you going to do, turn me into Animal Control?”
“Actually, I already did.”
Pansy hissed as the Animal Control van pulled up behind the police car and he hid behind Petunia. “Don’t let them take me, pl-please!”
Petunia picked up the trembling Pansy and shook her head. “I have no idea why you decided to impose a dumb rule like having a cat on a leash. But I’m sure Animal Control has better things to do. I’ll simply carry my cat home.”
“It’s too late now.”
Two men got out of the animal control vehicle and walked over, shifting nervously. “Hello, Petunia. How are you today?” Wayne asked.
“Better when you leave. I mean, you’re not really going to take my cat down to the pound are you?”
Wayne glanced over at the deputy’s car. “I don’t want to, honest, but Deputy Cartwright called us and we have a job to do. All you’ll have to do is come right down and you can get Pansy.”
“You don’t understand. Pansy is going to be enrolled in the cat show tomorrow and I need to give him a bath when I get home.”
A red Mustang rolled up and Petunia rushed over and put Pansy through the rolled-down window. “See, Pansy isn’t on the street without a leash now. And neither am I.”
Petunia hopped into her neighbor Noah Becker’s car and waved to the deputy and Animal Control as Noah slowly pulled away from the curb.
“You saved Pansy
from the pound,” Petunia exclaimed.
Noah smiled and continued up the road. “Why?”
“Apparently there’s a leash law for cats that I wasn’t aware of.”
“I’m sure it’s only because of the cat show tomorrow. Are you entering Pansy?”
“I’m entering all of my cats, actually.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, what are your plans for tomorrow?” Petunia asked with a glint in her eyes.
“Not wasting my time at any cat show, that’s for sure.”
Pansy swiped a paw at Noah. “What do you see in this lug-head?”
“Be nice. I’m trying to enlist his help.”
Petunia and Noah had been dating casually for the last few months. He had originally moved to Lake Forest to run for sheriff, but then he changed his mind and was now a private investigator. Petunia helped him on occasion, which was why they were only dating casually. It was hard to date the man you’re working with on cases.
“Of course if you make me one of your famous apple pies, I might be swayed to go with you since I don’t have a case currently," Noah suggested.
“I think I can manage to make a pie. If you bring the vanilla ice cream.” She winked.
“Just make sure you don’t put any of your special ingredients in the pie. I’d hate to be turned into a cat.” He laughed.
Pansy turned his head sideways and winked at Petunia as Noah pulled up to the curb. “I swear there’s something almost life-like about that cat of yours.”
“Perhaps he was once human, err … in another life.”
“You can say that again,” Pansy sneered. “Not that there’s any point in being bitter about it now.”
“Come over around five. I should have the pie finished by then,” Petunia said, heading to her door with Pansy in her arms.
Once they were inside, Pansy leapt from her arms and approached Merlin, who was lounging on the sofa licking a paw. Pansy then proceeded to meow as if he was actually communicating with Merlin. Of course it was hard to tell since Merlin didn’t stop cleaning himself until Petunia made way for the kitchen.
Petunia hurried and flipped the tops of four cans of cat food and set them in the dishes belonging to all of her cats before Merlin began to bellow like it was the end of his cat life if he wasn’t fed, and soon. Gem and Sassy soon entered the room, too, but at a more leisurely gait.
Merlin finished his food first and with a hiss, batted Gem away from her dish. Petunia promptly picked up the ringleader of bad behavior and Gem happily went back to her dish. Petunia carried Merlin outside and hooked him up to a small rope, then eased herself down on a lawn chair. She wanted to give her other cats the chance to eat before he went back inside. Merlin yanked on the rope until he realized he couldn’t get loose and then sat down to glare at Petunia.
Cora walked alongside her fence from her side, watering flowers that Petunia was almost sure were planted there just to give Cora an excuse to spy on Petunia. Cora was the snoop of the neighborhood.
Cora stopped watering her plants for a moment and remarked, “I’m glad to see that cat on a leash. He’s quite the menace of the neighborhood.”
“How can that be when he’s an inside cat?”
“Tell her to mind her own business,” Pansy said, as he came through the cat door.
Merlin licked his paw lazily and Petunia replied, “How did you even hear what Cora had to say when you were inside?”
“I’ll have you know I was on my way out and couldn’t help but overhear her blabbering.”
“I thought you didn’t like Merlin?” Petunia asked.
Pansy shot Petunia a wide-eyed look. “I’ll admit I have a love-hate relationship with Merlin, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tolerate anyone talking about him, especially that mean-spirited Cora.”
Merlin stood up and walked over to Pansy and hissed at him with a swipe of his paw, looking longingly at the cat door. Petunia took off Merlin’s leash and he happily trotted inside.
Petunia laughed as Pansy sputtered and spat. “I have no idea why you would ever stick up for that cat! He’s intolerable.”
“I wouldn’t worry. He’ll be licking your fur later and you know it.”
“Don’t remind me.”
Petunia turned back to Cora, who was standing there with mouth agape. “You’re talking to that cat, don’t even try and say you’re not.”
“Why don’t you go back inside, Cora? Your nose is beginning to look red.”
“Just wait until the other neighbors hear about you talking to that cat of yours. I bet they’ll refuse to allow you to enter the cat show,” Cora said smugly.
“Oh, and what makes you think I’d be enrolling my cats?”
“It goes to figure since you have a houseful of the pesky cats.”
“Since when do you have an interest in the Lake Forest Cat Show?”
“Since her sister Ramona plans to enter that Siamese of hers,” Noah said with a smile from his side of the fence. When Cora walked back to her house in a huff, he asked, “I thought you were going to make me an apple pie, you know, for incentive to help you tomorrow.”
“I actually think I’m out of apples. I suppose I forgot to mention that.”
“Lucky for me I have an extra bag in my refrigerator.”
Petunia frowned. Apparently he wasn’t going to let her get off the hook. It’s not that she didn’t want to make him a pie, it’s just the work that went into it.
“Fine, bring over the apples and I’ll get started.”
Before Petunia had the chance to walk back inside, Noah dangled the bag of apples over the fence. And with a grumble, Petunia took them with the fakest smile she could muster. Why, it’s almost like he knew she’d say she was out of apples!
Petunia swung the bag of apples and Pansy mocked her the entire way. “Right away, Noah. Whatever you say, Noah.”
She ignored Pansy’s taunting for a moment before she said, “Perhaps I’ll leave you at home tomorrow and only take Gem, Merlin, and Sassy to the cat show. I imagine they’ll fare better anyway.”
“And why is that?” Pansy spat. “I’m twice the cat that any of them are.”
“I’ll admit there’s none quite like you, Pansy, but I’m just not sure the judges will think that. I don’t think a black cat has ever placed in a cat show before.”
“How would you know? Have you entered any of your cats in a cat show before?”
“No, but I’ve heard is all,” Petunia said out loud.
“I’ve heard it might make you look crazy if you keep talking out loud to that cat of yours,” Aunt Maxine said with a wave of her finger from the entranceway to the kitchen.
“I hope you don’t mind but we let ourselves in when you didn’t answer the door,” Hazel said, as she joined Aunt Maxine with Wanda not far behind since they were her aunt’s cronies. They were all dressed in black today, and although they were all witches, that wasn’t the norm for Lake Forest, Michigan.
“What’s roaming around in that head of yours, Petunia?” Aunt Maxine asked.
“I was wondering why you’re all wearing black today.”
Wanda cackled until Aunt Maxine shot her a stern look. “We’re not the only witches in Lake Forest at the moment.”
Petunia picked up a paring knife and started peeling the apples since she had the feeling this was going to be a long story as can happen with her aunt, who was eighty and then some. Especially with Wanda and Hazel butting in.
“Aren’t you curious about who the other witches are?” Hazel asked.
“Not especially. I’m making a pie.”
Wanda’s hands went to her hips. “We could help you make the pie and tell you all about it.”
She then proceeded to whip out a magic wand. “Get that thing away from me,” Pansy shrieked. “That old witch shouldn’t have the license to operate one of those.”
“Please put that wand away, Wanda, before you turn your toes into worms,” Aunt Maxine said
before Petunia had the time to open her mouth.
Pansy snuck from the room, presumably to stay out of the line of fire in case Wanda began to use that wand of hers.
“You can’t actually whip up a pie with a wand, can you, Wanda?” Petunia asked, as she mixed flour and shortening into a bowl.
“No, she can’t and you wouldn’t want her to if she could.” Aunt Maxine laughed, easing down on a chair. “Why are you making an apple pie, anyway? Is it magical?”
“No, it’s for Noah.”
“Why didn’t you say so before, hand me the rolling pin.”
“Here it is,” Hazel proclaimed, as she handed it off to Aunt Maxine.
Petunia shook her head, hoping her aunt wouldn’t make a comment about why Petunia was making a pie for her handsome neighbor Noah.
“I’m glad to know you haven’t given up on your handsome neighbor. Noah is the best thing that’s come along. And you'd make ideal partners from what I’ve seen so far.”
“Solving cases is hardly the same as having a relationship,” Petunia said.
Chapter 2
“Relationship?” Wanda and Hazel said, leaning forward to get all the juicy details.
“I didn’t know you two were in a relationship,” Aunt Maxine said with a huge smile. “I approve of your choice.”
“We are … I mean, we’re not!”
Aunt Maxine appeared crestfallen from the grimace on her face. “Not to worry, dear. I’m sure he’ll come around after you give him an apple pie.”
“Yes,” Hazel said. “Everyone knows men love a woman who can cook.”
“Or bake,” Wanda added.
Petunia shook her head. “I thought you came here to tell me all about the new witches in town, not to obsess over my lack of a love life.”
“You don’t lack a love life,” Wanda said with a sigh. “I wish I had a date with a man like Noah. He’s dreamy.”
“Back off, Wanda,” Hazel said. “Petunia doesn’t want to hear you talk about her future husband like that.”
Meows, Magic, & Mayhem (Lake Forest Witches Book 4) Page 1
