by Tia Lewis
“In a year you—”
“In a year I can do nothing. He won’t take my phone calls. He doesn’t answer my letters. You ruined this for me, and that is something I will never forgive.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t work. I’m hanging up the phone now, and if you call back, I will call your supervisor.”
I slammed the headset into its cradle. Rage shuddered through my body, making my hands shake. Randy Barker needed that restraining order for his own protection because I was so angry I was liable to make the man’s face hamburger if I got close enough to get at him.
It was not an impulse I liked.
I sighed and looked at the clock. Lunchtime. Though I wasn’t hungry, I thought it a good idea to check in on grandma. There were too many evenings where I’d had to wake her from the rocker on the porch to get her to go to bed. Since Matthew left, she was trying too much to help me. I was concerned she was pushing herself too hard.
“Grandma,” I called when I entered the house.
“Meleyna? Help me.”
I heard her speaking in a weak, thin voice. “I’m here in the bathroom.”
“Grandma!” I called as I ran through the kitchen, my heart beating double time in fear. At first, I couldn’t open the door, and it rattled in its frame.
“Grandma! I can’t open the door.”
I heard a groan and a scraping noise.
“I was jammed in here against the trash can, but I moved it. Try now, honey.”
I pushed on the bathroom door to find Gram crumpled on the tiny floor. She lay in a ball clutching her right arm with her left.
I pushed into the room carefully and bent to her.
“Are you hurt? Or can you sit up?”
“I can’t move any more than this, Meleyna. It hurts. Damn. It hurts so much.”
She couldn’t even lift her head. It broke my heart to see my grandmother so frail and small, unable lift herself.
“What happened?”
“I’m sorry, Meleyna,” she said with her face twisted in pain. “I lost my balance.”
“It’s okay, grandma, it’s okay. I’ll get help. Don’t move.”
“Don’t worry, honey. I can’t.”
That night I reluctantly left Gram in the care of the doctors and nurses and went home. Thank god, she’d be okay. But the doctor told me that with her osteoporosis and her falls, she’d need extended care for the foreseeable future.
For the first time, I was really and truly alone. I faced the prospect of running the kennel and living by myself. I lay in my bed staring at my ceiling cursing my life. The man I once loved was a dick that I couldn’t stand to talk to anymore, and the man I loved now wouldn’t take my calls.
I was exhausted, not just physically, but emotionally. My gut churned with a longing for Matthew, anger at Randy, and frustration with my own inability to fix to my life.
I turned to my side and curled into a ball holding my arms over my stomach. Every breath I took felt forced and took more energy from me than it gave. Every part of me hurt, but nothing hurt as much as my heart right now.
I tumbled into the dark.
“Meleyna!” called a voice in distress.
Matthew.
“Meleyna!”
I looked around but only saw darkness. It shrouded me, holding me back in a net that prevented me from moving. I struggled to go forward but found I could not.
“Matthew! I’m here! Where are you!”
“Meleyna!”
“Matthew!”
But all I heard were groans of pain.
“Matthew! What’s wrong?”
“Damn. Hurts so much!”
“Matthew!”
I woke with a start with my heart hammering in my chest, gripped by fear that something awful had happened to Matthew.
It was just a dream. I tried to relax with the reassurance my dream could not be real.
But was it? Or was it an echo of the trauma of my grandmother’s fall?
But the dream felt real.
I wouldn’t rest until I knew if Matthew was safe and unharmed.
I swung my legs over the bed and checked the time. Six AM. Somehow, and probably because of my exhaustion I’d slept through the night. I wanted to call Matthew, but it was 4 AM in Idaho. I’d have to wait.
Fuck waiting.
And maybe it was because it was an unholy hour in Idaho that an exhausted-sounding Matthew answered the phone.
“What?” he demanded grumpily.
“Is something wrong?”
“Meleyna?”
“Tell me, Matthew. Are you okay?”
“Why are you calling? And at 4 AM? What the hell?”
“Because—” I felt foolish all of a sudden. How was I going to explain that a dream freaked me out and that I felt compelled to call? “Because I got worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” Matthew said with a voice as rough as sandpaper.
“Okay.” I didn’t know what to say then. Matthew didn’t sound happy to hear from me, and now I felt very stupid. “Look, I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
Matthew said nothing. The seconds stretch to an interminable length. I thought I heard Parker whine, and the scratch of Parker’s nails on a hard surface and Matthew ordering him to lay down. But eventually, his rough voice came on the line. “It’s not a bother, but, oh damn. Look, I’ve got to go back to sleep.”
“But-”
“Thanks for calling, Meleyna. Goodbye.”
The line went dead before I could say another thing.
I stood in my kitchen in my sleep tee and panties and stared at the handset of the phone as if it would spring to life again. But it didn’t. Matthew had hung up the phone.
It was a fucking terrible way to start the day.
“Who was that Grandma?” I said. I had spotted a man leaving my grandmother’s new apartment in the assisted care facility we chose.
She beamed at me.
“Something I’ve been working on for a while. That was my lawyer.”
“Lawyer? Grandma, what did you do?”
“Did you know the price of land has gone through the roof? It’s because of all those Yankees that have been moving into the area the past few years. My goodness, my granddaddy bought two hundred acres for just two thousand dollars. Now a hundred acres is worth two million.”
“Grandma?”
“So, I sold it!”
“What!”
“Of course, once you pay taxes, and the other bites that the government takes out of you, you get maybe a million and a quarter. But I need the money, Meleyna. One, to pay for this lovely place here and the sale of it will keep here nearly twenty years if I so chose. And I enjoy living here, Meleyna. I do. It’s been wearing on me being alone so much in that big house. It’s a house meant for a family. But you, you aren’t looking to start any family.”
“Grandma,” I said with despair in my voice.
“Now, that ain’t no judgment. That’s how things are. We still have a hundred acres. That’s still way too much for us. You might end up selling it anyway because once I go, the elderly tax protection on the land will go away.”
“Grandma, don’t say that.”
“Meleyna, when you get to my age, you think about putting things in order. And I worry that you are living your life for an old lady, instead of for yourself.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s my job to do that, Meleyna. I love you, sweetie, more than my own life. And I can’t bear to see you as unhappy as you’ve been since Matthew left.”
“It can’t be helped,” I said.
“Maybe it can’t. But you should be living your life for you, not me. So here.” She held out a long piece of paper to me.
“What’s this?”
“Look at it.”
I took the check and stared at it, shocked.
“That two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars is for you. More than enough to pay for vet school. An
d some extra for pocket money. I’ve paid a gift tax on it, so you don’t have to pay any.”
“Grandma, this money is too much.”
“No, sweetie. It is not. You’ve done too much for me. Now it is the time I take care of you. Take that money and do whatever you want with it.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I know things didn’t work out with Randy, or with Matthew, but you deserve to find someone who loves you for who you are. So, you should go and find him, whoever he is.”
“You knew about things with Randy?”
“Meleyna, I’ve always known. From the first time I held you as a baby, I knew you were something special. When your little baby hand gripped my finger so strong, I realized that you were a different kind of girl. Maybe it was angels whispering in my ear. It might have been your guardian angel telling me I needed to hold tight and love you as much as I could because you needed it. So I did, and I always will, regardless of who you love. I know that Randy is gay, and I know that you loved him in spite of it. I’ve known for years. But it’s time for you to find someone who loves you for you.”
I stood blown away by grandma’s words. She had known about Randy and me. Grandmother never cared that I had stuck with Randy despite the scandal it could have caused, and she still loved me.
“Susan Michelle Harris,” I said, shaking my finger at her. “You’ve been lying to me all along. Here I thought you were merely terrific. You didn’t tell me how awesome you are.”
“Well, Meleyna Margaret Harris,” she scolded, “that’s not my fault. You should have known on your own account.”
I smiled. “I guess I should have.”
She beamed. “Now, get out of here and go live that life of yours. And don’t come back until you have one!”
Matthew
“I’m sorry, Mr. Rees. You can’t use your cell phone in the emergency department,” said a woman wearing a doctor’s white coat.
“Sorry. I had to call someone to make arrangements for the dogs at my kennel.”
“Well, as long as you keep it brief. But you should turn it off. I’m Tammy Emerson, your doctor for today.”
“Sure, Doc.”
“I’m sorry it’s taken so long to see you. It’s been a busy night.”
“Yeah, I noticed. Hard not to. Three people in a car accident?”
“I can’t discuss other patients, but I’d say your hearing passes muster.”
“Yeah, I trained as a tracker in the Marines. You always have to keep your ear to the ground.”
“That you have. Marine, huh? Afghanistan?”
“No, Iraq.”
“I thought we pulled out of there?”
“Naw. We’re still there, just in smaller numbers.”
“Service dog?”
“PTSD. He monitors my moods and gives me support to control them.”
“Your pup has been awesome. Haven’t heard a peep from him.”
“He’s trained to remain calm in intense environments.”
“And how are you feeling?”
“Sore as hell.”
“Is there something I should know that is a trigger for you?”
“Nothing specific. Sometimes loud noises.”
“Are you anxious now?”
“More annoyed with the wait than anything.”
“Like I said—”
“It’s a busy night,” I finished.
“Tell me how you received your injuries.”
I sighed. My wounds were my own stupid fault. But this was the third health care professional to ask me that question. I was tired, in pain and at the end of my limited patience. Parker stood and put his muzzle on the bed staring at me.
“Keep cool, buddy,” Parker’s eyes said.
I rubbed him behind his ears again.
“I run a dog training business. A new client was dropping off an animal he said was in need of training. I had other clients I was finishing with, so he had to wait for me to talk to him. But the eight-year-old daughter of my client tried to pet the other client’s dog. Unfortunately, it went crazy, barking and straining at his leash. The child ran screaming, and the dog broke away to follow her. I got to the animal and tried to grab its leash, but it turned on me and attacked. Ripped my arm and then my leg. I swear that was the second worse pain I ever felt. Paramedics got me here after the client with the little girl called the police. What the other client didn’t tell me was that the dog had a history of aggressive behavior toward humans. I learned this when animal control arrived while the paramedics assessed me. If it wasn’t for Parker here, I’d be worse off.”
Parker picked up his ears, and I rubbed behind them with my one good hand.
“Anyway, it was my fault. I should have had the new client secure his dog in a run while he waited. Luckily Parker here got in there and pushed the dog off me, and the owner gained control and pulled him away.”
“Sounds horrible. And where is that dog now?”
“Animal Control took him. Since they dealt with the dog earlier in the week, they assured me he had his rabies shots.”
“Still, any dog bite can get infected. Let me examine those wounds.”
She carefully inspected my arm which got chewed up good and pulled up my hospital gown to check out the laceration in my thigh.
“Yep. They are nasty looking. But you’re lucky. With the Animal Control report, we won’t give you the injections. But if they destroy the dog, they’ll do a definitive test. So, don’t think you’re off the hook yet.”
“I’m aware.”
“Where did you get these scars? War injury?” She traced the scars on my lower stomach with her finger.
“Nope. Fell down a cliff.”
“What?”
“I fell down a cliff while running with a pack of dogs.”
“Gee, canines and you don’t get along, do they?”
“No, we do. It’s those rogue animals that will bite you.”
She gave me a grim smile. “Okay, I’ll get a set-up and clean those wounds. Need medicine for pain?”
“It would be helpful.”
“I’ll send the nurse in.”
But an announcement came over the PA. “Code Blue. Room 112, Stat. Code Blue, Room 112. Stat.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back, Mr. Rees,” the doctor said with a concerned look on her face.
A nurse came in and gave me morphine, and the sharp taste of the saline and the drug mixture filled my nose and mouth. As the pain of my wounds faded away in an opiate haze, I dozed off.
Utterly relaxed for the first time in a month, I found myself in a mirror-filled hall. Only I didn’t see my face, but the beautiful image of Meleyna looking and smiling at me. It was weird to see her like this, but comforting. I stared back happily, inching forward, wondering if I touched the mirrors’ reflection if I could also touch her.
The sharp ring of my phone caused me to start rudely from my sleep. I clicked it on, not remembering the doctor’s warning not to use it in the hospital.
“What?” I demanded grumpily through my drug-induced haze. The call woke me from a good dream.
“Is something wrong?”
The sweetly familiar voice at the other end of the line caused me to sit up immediately.
“Meleyna?”
“Matthew, are you okay?”
How did she know I was sitting in an emergency room? My exhausted mind couldn’t make any sense of it. I glanced at the clock on the wall.
“Why are you calling? And at 4 AM? What the hell?”
“Because—” Meleyna stopped talking for a long second, and I grew afraid she had hung up. “Because I got worried.”
I melted. Damn. How could I have left this caring woman? Somehow, Meleyna sensed my distress and reached out even though I deliberately didn’t respond to her phone calls and letters. But no. I couldn’t think that way. I had done her a favor by leaving her behind. She didn’t need a fuck-up like me.
“I’m fine,” I said with a v
oice as rough as sandpaper. My throat was dry, and it made it difficult to speak.
“Okay.” Meleyna now sounded unsure. But if she questioned the wisdom of calling me now, I didn’t blame her. “Look, I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
I said nothing as my brain and mouth froze. Damn it was so good to hear her voice, a balm to the wounds of my shattered heart. Her voice held an edge of pain, and it hit me that I had been a total dick to this woman. She didn’t deserve that treatment. I was no better than Randy Barker, and that realization struck me hard. It was an indictment I couldn’t live with.
Parker whined, probably because his sensitive hearing picked up Meleyna’s voice over the phone. Parker stood up on his hind legs, and his nails scratched on the extended metal rails of the hospital bed.
“Sit, Parker,” I commanded. What was I going to say to her? She was there in Arkansas, and I was over a thousand miles away.
I knew that I should say something, but I wasn’t sure what. Nothing had changed my mind that she was better off without me. But I didn’t want hrt hurting, and I searched for words to reassure her without raising a false hope.
“It’s not a bother,” I finally said. I wanted to say more, but there was a knock on my door. It must be the doctor finally returning because the nurses didn’t knock.
“Oh damn,” I said aloud. “Look, I’ve got to go.”
“But-”
The doctor was staring at me now with her eyes on my cell phone.
“Thanks for calling, Meleyna. Goodbye.”
Fuck. I was a jerk for hanging up so quickly on Meleyna. I should call and apologize later.
“Sorry. A friend calling to check up on me.”
“Let’s get this done, Mr. Rees, before we have any more disasters here tonight that would keep you longer.”
“You knew better,” Max said.
“I did,” I said into the phone. I had called Max to tell him what happened. Max was in Florida right now living the dream he’d always had to move there where a bunch of his friends lived. They were selling Max’s business to me, but the escrow hadn’t closed. The bank was being very thorough investigating my finances and the viability of the venture. The last thing that Max or I needed were questions of my ability to run the business.
