Every muscle in my body tightened to the point of pain. “How long is it going to take to get fingerprints back?”
“I’m going to put a rush on anything we find, but I’m guessing we won’t find any.”
“Fuck,” Hunter muttered.
I glanced at my brother. “I already called a security company in Seattle. I paid a rush fee, and they’re coming out tomorrow.”
“That’s good.” Hunter studied me carefully, his gaze seeming to try and read between the lines. “What’s going on with you two?”
Raines cleared his throat. “I’m going to go check on my guys.”
I never looked away from my brother. “None of your damn business.”
Hunt’s body gave a small jerk. “I’m the one who stuck by her side when you bailed. I’m the one who’s been here year after year when you couldn’t suck it up to face this place. So, tell me just how it isn’t my business.”
He loved her in his own way. And as pissed as I was in the moment, I had to appreciate that he’d been here for Bell all the times I hadn’t. And he deserved the truth. “I’m figuring things out.”
“You’re also leaving,” he challenged.
I wasn’t so sure I could anymore. Not when leaving meant not having Bell in my life daily. “I’m figuring that out, too.”
“She know that?”
“Not yet.”
Hunter chuckled. “I wonder how that will go over.”
I grinned. “Not well.” If I told her now that I was thinking of staying on Anchor, at the bar, past this summer, she might try and throw me into the ocean. “I have a lot to make up for, Hunt. And not just with Bell. I know that.”
Hunter’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “It’s good you know.”
“I’m sorry I left you to deal with everything.” I’d placed so much on my little brother’s shoulders when it should’ve been the other way around. I should’ve been protecting him, taking on his burdens.
Hunter glanced out at the sea. “I get it, Ford. I do. I can’t imagine going through what you did at eighteen. I saw how it fucked with your head. Even at sixteen, I knew it was warping your mind. But it’s like you lost sight of everything except your grief and your guilt. You couldn’t see me or Mom and Dad or anyone, not even Bell.”
“I know. And I’m so damn sorry.”
Hunter nodded. “If you’re thinking of going after Bell, you need to be damn sure you can handle staying on this island. Damn sure you’re not going to let the ghosts from the past mess with your head. You cannot bail on that girl a second time.”
I swallowed hard. “I know.”
Hunter gave a jerk of his chin. “Good. I’m glad you’re waking up.” His gaze bored into mine. “I missed my brother.”
I pulled him into a hard, back-slapping hug. “I missed you, too.”
After a few beats, Hunter released me and gave me a shove. “All right, enough with this mushy shit. We need to figure out what we’re going to do about Bell.”
“I was thinking about siccing Mom on her.”
Hunter burst out laughing. “You are brutal, bro.”
I shrugged. I would do whatever it took to keep Bell safe.
25
Bell
A knock sounded at my door, and I quickly swiped at the tears under my eyes. “Who is it?”
“Ford.”
My chest warmed as those damn butterflies took flight in my belly before I shoved them down. “Come in.”
“Why the hell isn’t your brand-new lock doing its job?” If Ford’s words hadn’t clued me in to his anger, the vein pumping on the side of his neck would have.
“Because…” I drew out the word. “Every five minutes, one of the staff members or patrons is coming up here to check on me, and I got tired of having to get up off the floor to go and unlock the door.” I gestured to the mess I was attempting to sort through and clean up. After three smashed pots, I’d finally decided that trying to glue them back together was a lost cause.
Ford took a few steps forward, plastic bag in hand. “I don’t think you should be alone with anyone right now. We don’t know who’s behind this.”
I arched a brow at him. “Then what are you doing here? I clearly shouldn’t be alone with you.” My inner bitch was coming out, and I knew it. Ford had been nothing but kind and helpful and supportive in the past ten hours, but that sweetness was dangerous for my heart. I had to keep it at arm’s length.
Ford scowled. “I don’t count. Neither does Hunter, Crosby, Caelyn, Kenna, or my parents. Everyone else stays on the suspect list.”
I gaped at him. “You have to be kidding me.”
“Better safe than sorry.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled and turned back to placing pot shards in the thick plastic garbage bags we used to line our recycle bins in the bar—they could handle anything.
“Come on, Trouble, time for a break.” I kept right on sorting. Ford chuckled. “I asked Pietro to make you whatever was your favorite comfort food.”
My movements slowed as I sniffed the air. “Lasagna?”
“With parmesan garlic bread, and four different desserts.”
I placed the pot shard in the garbage bag and pushed to my feet. “You play dirty.”
“Never said I didn’t.”
I sighed, rubbing my temples. “The kitchen is an even bigger mess than the living room. We’ll have to eat on the couch.” While all the throw pillows had been destroyed, my couch cushions had miraculously remained intact.
“That’s fine. I’ve got silverware, plates, everything we need.”
I sank down onto the couch and tried to ignore the destruction I’d barely made a dent in. “Thanks for getting me dinner.”
Ford reached over and grabbed my hand. The warmth of it felt so good, so reassuring, and I hated myself just a little bit for letting it rest there. This man had belonged to my sister for most of our lives. And even though my heart had claimed him, he hadn’t been mine. “Come stay with me for a few days. At least until we can clean all of this up.”
I shook my head and slipped my hand out of his. I couldn’t. For a million different reasons. But most of all, because I knew that if I left now, I’d never come back. I needed to reclaim my space. Exorcise any nasty energy lingering around and make the place mine again. Maybe Caelyn could burn some of that sage she was so fond of. “I need to stay here.”
“Not even my mom could convince you, huh?”
My gaze snapped to Ford’s. “You’re the one who had her talk to me, weren’t you?” Kara had used her best concerned-mom voice and had made me feel awful for refusing to stay with Ford, but I’d known I needed to be here.
He shrugged. “I can neither confirm nor deny those allegations.”
“You’re the worst.”
“No, I’m worried.”
The concern in Ford’s expression had my anger melting away. “I’m sorry. I just—I have to stay. I need to make it mine again.”
Ford sighed, taking dishes out of the bag and spreading them out on the coffee table. “I get it. I really do. I just don’t like it.”
“Kenna and Caelyn are coming over later, and Kenna’s going to spend the night. I won’t be alone.”
“That’s something, I guess.”
My lips curved into the first smile I’d cracked all day. “I’ll be safe, Cupcake. I promise. I’ve got my mace and that bat from when I convinced you I wanted to try out for little league.”
Ford shook his head and grinned. “You always did have a mean swing.”
“This time, I’ll just be aiming for an intruder’s junk.”
Ford let out a choked laugh. “I’ll be extra careful to announce myself before entering this apartment.”
“Smart man.”
We ate, mostly in silence. If we spoke, it was about nothing serious. The food helped, but it also made me realize just how tired I was. I groaned as I pulled my legs up onto the couch. Ford caught one of my feet and then the other, tugging th
em onto his lap. He took the left one and began digging his thumbs into my sock-covered arch.
I bit back a moan. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and sink into the sensation. To forget all about one of the worst days in the history of days. To ignore the fact that the man bringing me comfort had once belonged to my sister, and that if she were still here, he likely wouldn’t be rubbing my feet right now, he’d be rubbing hers.
The thought was like a bucket of ice water dumped right over my head. I quickly tugged my legs back, tucking my knees to my chest as if that would protect me from all of the emotions thrumming through me.
Ford let his hands drop. “Why’d you do that?”
I refused to look away. Couldn’t even if I tried because those blue eyes of his seemed to hold me captive. “I can’t touch you like that.”
“Pretty sure I was the one touching you.”
“Don’t.” The word cracked out like a whip.
Ford’s gaze bored into mine. His eyes seeking, searching for something in the depths of my face. “What if I want more?”
My heart hammered in my chest, a freight train against my ribs. “You don’t.”
He arched a brow. “Shouldn’t I be the one who gets to decide what I want?”
“We’ve been through the wringer today. Your emotions are just on overload. And even if you did want more, even if I did…I can’t go there with you, Ford. For a million reasons.”
He didn’t say a word, but there was a pull to his stare, one that had me leaning forward instead of away. He slipped his hand under the fall of my hair. “Trouble—”
Before he could say anything else, the door swung open. Caelyn came to a screeching halt as she took in the two of us. “Whoops, I’m so sorry. Are we interrupting?”
I straightened in my seat, pushing to my feet. “Nope. Ford was just leaving. Thanks again for dinner.” I said it all without once making eye contact with the man in question.
“Promise me you’ll call if you see or hear anything suspicious.”
“I will.” I wouldn’t. I’d get my bat, and I’d call Sheriff Raines, or “Sheriff Hotstuff” as Caelyn liked to call him.
Ford muttered a curse, knowing I was lying through my teeth. “I’ll be downstairs until close.”
Kenna let out a low whistle as soon as the door closed behind Ford. “That was…”
“Hot as hell?” Caelyn suggested.
“Don’t,” I warned and quickly gathered up Ford’s and my trash, throwing it in the garbage bags along with the remnants of my ruined apartment.
“Bells, we don’t have to talk about it, but something is going on between the two of you.”
I tied the garbage bag opening into a knot, tugging on the ends a bit more harshly than necessary. “Nothing is going on between us. There will never be anything between the two of us.” I opened a new trash bag and began stuffing things inside, not even bothering to consider if it was salvageable. If this creep, whoever they were, had touched it, I didn’t want it in my apartment. I shoved item after item into the bag.
“Bell.” I jolted as Kenna laid a hand on my shoulder. “Let us help you.”
I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears. “Thank you.”
Caelyn wrapped her arms around both of us, bringing us into a huddle. “That’s what we’re here for. Anything you need. We’ve got you. You can move in with the tiny terrors and me for a while. You’d have to sleep on the couch, but you wouldn’t have to stay here.”
“There’s no extra bedroom at the guest cottage, but you could sleep on my couch, too. Or I’m sure Harriet would give you one of the guest rooms at the main house.”
I swallowed back the ball of emotion gathering in my throat. “Thank you.” I released my hold on both of them. “But I need to stay here. I need to make it my safe place again. Get rid of all the bad memories and leave only the good.”
Caelyn straightened. “I brought sage for just that reason. We can burn it after we clean up.”
Kenna groaned, and I chuckled. “I was hoping you might.”
Concern filled Caelyn’s features. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about Ford? He cares about you, Bells.”
I shook my head. “I’ll never be able to go there. I can’t.”
26
Ford
I muttered a curse as I almost dropped the bottle of Jack for the second time.
“How’s she holding up?”
I glanced up at Crosby for a split second before returning my attention to the drinks I was making. “She’s hanging in there.” Hanging in and making it really fucking clear that she had no need of me. Her support system was firmly in place, and I wasn’t a part of that.
Crosby took a sip of his Guinness. “I can’t tell if you’re pissed at the psycho, Bell, or both.”
I slid the Jack and Coke to the woman a few seats down and turned back to Crosby. “This sicko, Bell, myself, take your pick.” Apparently, it was an equal opportunity day for my anger. Yet I didn’t have a right to it, not where Bell was concerned, at least. I’d left her when she needed me most, and I knew a big part of her pushing me away was because she didn’t trust that I was going to stick around a second time. Didn’t trust that I would be there if she needed me now.
“You love her?”
Crosby threw out the question so casually, it took me a second to really take it in, but when I did, my muscles locked. “I’ve always loved her.”
Crosby arched a brow. “That’s a hell of a thing to realize.”
“Not like that.” My feelings for her had morphed over the years, sure, but the thing that was crazy was that they’d grown even while we were apart. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but those feelings had always been there, steadily chipping away at my resolve. She’d always been the thing that tempted me to return. Even through my fear that she blamed me for the accident, I’d get hit with a memory of the two of us, the reckless kind, the kind that lit a fire in me to call her, to see her. Those reckless memories would almost bring me to my knees. I couldn’t count the times I’d picked up my phone and hovered over her name in my contacts. Yet I’d always resisted.
“So…” Crosby let the word hang as he popped a French fry into his mouth. “What are you going to do about it?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? “It’s a precarious situation.” Who was I kidding? Moving Bell and me in the direction I wanted would be like trying to defuse a bomb with dozens of tripwires. One wrong move and I’d take us all out.
“Slow and steady, my friend, slow and steady.”
It wasn’t a bad plan. I knew the one thing I couldn’t do was retreat. When Bell pushed me away, I needed to stand my ground. I had to show her with my actions that I was here to stay. Pretty words weren’t going to cut it.
“Any updates?” Hunter appeared behind him, Ethan in tow.
I shook my head. “Not really. Kenna and Caelyn are up with her now, helping her clean up the mess. She’ll be okay. But right now, she’s freaked.” I surveyed the men around me. “We all need to keep an eye out.” The more people on the lookout for something suspicious, the safer Bell would be.
“How bad was it?” Ethan asked.
My back molars ground together as I remembered seeing the space for the first time. If the person responsible would’ve been in front of me at the time, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have killed them. “They destroyed just about everything.”
Ethan looked around the bar. “Cops got any leads?”
“Not so far.”
Hunter shook his head. “Goddammit. How could no one see anything? There are usually people out walking their dogs or jogging then. Someone must have seen a car, something that could help.”
I began pouring half-pints of beer. “Raines is still getting the word out. His deputies will be back tomorrow to canvass the surrounding neighborhoods, see if anyone was out and about.”
Crosby dropped a French fry back onto his plate. “Hell, the gossip mill will do a better jo
b than they will. Word’s already spreading, but we can make sure that folks are asking if anyone saw anything.”
I slid two beers across the bar top to Hunter and Ethan. “That’s not a bad idea.” As much as I hated the way gossip spread in this town, people did genuinely care. They wanted to help whenever they could.
Crosby inclined his head to the dining area. “This is the perfect place to start. Have the waitstaff ask around as they’re serving. And we can ask people at the bar.”
Hunter nodded, giving Crosby’s back a slap. “Good idea.” Hunt looked back to me, lowering his voice as if the people around us couldn’t still hear. “How’s she really doing?”
My jaw worked. “Scared but determined.”
“I’m taking that to mean she won’t be coming to stay with either of us.”
I chuckled despite my frustration with the situation. “Not even Mom’s guilt trip could sway her.” I glanced towards the back stairs. “I think she needs to prove to herself that she’s not scared to stay here.”
Hunter muttered a curse. “She’s too damn stubborn and prideful.”
“She’s just used to handling things on her own now.” And I hated that she’d had to become that way.
“She’s letting Kenna and Caelyn help.”
I shrugged. “They’re family to her.”
Hunter straightened. “So are we.”
“It’s different.” I knew that Bell loved every member of the Hardy clan. But that didn’t mean she’d completely let down her guard around us. We’d hurt her. Even though it had been her parents who had kept us away in the beginning, it didn’t change the wound that was there.
Hunter glanced up at the ceiling. “I hate this.”
“Me, too, brother. Me, too.”
“Security company still coming tomorrow?”
“Yup.” I poured another beer and handed it to Ethan.
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