Widow, Virgin, Whore - A Novel

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  Katherine studied her friend's face. It looked hard, her eyes cold. She'd never seen her this way before. She took a deep breath, knowing Denise wasn't going to like what she was about to say. "I think she's staying the night at Craig's."

  "What? She told you that?"

  Katherine nodded her head.

  Denise's face registered total shock. "And you're okay with that? Have you forgotten she has AIDS?"

  "He does, too," Katherine said quietly.

  "I can't believe this!" Denise screeched, pacing the room, flailing her arms in the air above her. "She's still out whoring around, sick with AIDS no less, and you just sit there calmly like everything's okay. God, I can't believe it. She hasn't learned anything, has she? She's still the same old Darla."

  Katherine remained calm, speaking in an even tone. "No, Denise, she isn't. This time is different. This time she really has feelings for Craig, and he does for her, too. They can't hurt anyone by being together, and it's none of our business if they are."

  Denise whirled to a stop and glared at Katherine, the anger in her eyes so obvious.

  Katherine's patience ran out. "God dammit Denise! What are you so mad about?"

  "You're supposed to be my friend!" Denise bellowed. "My best friend, not Darla's. But instead of being here for me, you're always out with Darla and her group of friends. It's Darla this and Darla that. I'm sick of hearing about her."

  Katherine's stern gaze could have leveled the room. "I've been around Darla and her friends because they are who I'm writing the articles about. Besides, you're usually out with Gary."

  "Oh, so that's it. You're jealous because I have a boyfriend, so you want to take it out on me by becoming Darla's best friend. Is that it?"

  Katherine's brow furrowed. "Of course not. That's too juvenile, even for you, Denise."

  "Oh, so now I'm juvenile, is that it? Not grown up and sophisticated like my sister, the whore!"

  "The way you're acting right now, your sister is looking like a princess!"

  At Katherine's words, all the pompous air deflated from Denise. Her lip trembled and her eyes welled up with tears as she collapsed on the sofa. Completely forgetting their argument, Katherine immediately came to her side.

  "I'm sorry," Denise sobbed. "I'm acting like a jerk. It's just that Darla always seems to take everything away from me. She's taking you away now, too."

  "No, she's not," Katherine said soothingly.

  "Everything in my life is going wrong and I just don't know what to do anymore," Denise said, sobbing.

  Katherine rubbed her back. "What do you mean? Is something wrong with you and Gary?" She was confused. She'd thought that everything was going great for Denise and Gary. They seemed so happy together.

  "Yes...no...oh, I don't know." Denise grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. "Gary and I still go out and have fun and all, but, well, he just hasn't been the same since I told him."

  "Told him what?"

  Denise looked through her tears at her friend. "That I'm a virgin," she said softly.

  Katherine's eyes grew wide. "You're a virgin?"

  Denise nodded.

  "Really?"

  Denise looked slightly annoyed behind her tears. "I thought you knew."

  "No, not really. I guess I kind of suspected you might be, but there was Mark in high school, and now Gary. I didn't know for sure."

  "Mark and I never did it. And Gary, after I told him, said we should wait."

  "But I thought you two were serious. You've been dating for months."

  "That's the problem. We are serious. But ever since I told him, he hardly touches me."

  "Wow." Katherine sat back on the sofa, amazed.

  "What's wrong with me?" Denise asked through fresh tears. "I can't even get a guy who's serious about me to have sex with me, but Darla has AIDS and she's still having sex. Maybe I should be more like her."

  Katherine looked at her seriously. "No, you shouldn't. Gary is dating you because he respects you for who you are. Maybe that's why he's waiting. He wants it to be special."

  Denise shook her head and dabbed at her eyes. "I don't know. He did say something like that when I told him but that was months ago."

  Katherine smiled reassuringly. "Gary's a good person, Denise. He'll do the right thing, just wait and see."

  Denise nodded her head, not looking thoroughly convinced. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. But I do miss having you around sometimes."

  "I know. Me too. It's been hard on us all."

  "Don't tell Darla she was right, okay?"

  Katherine scrunched her brows. "Huh?"

  "About my still being a virgin."

  A small laugh escaped from Katherine. "I won't tell her." After a moment, she looked at Denise mischievously. "Want to sing 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'?"

  "Are you nuts?"

  "Come on, it's fun. I'll start. Don't go breaking my heart..."

  "I'm not singing your crazy song."

  "Oh, come on. The next line is, I couldn't if I tried."

  "I know what the next line is," Denise said, indignantly. "I know this song better than you do."

  Katherine laughed. "Okay then, sing. Don't go breaking my heart..." She nudged Denise, who shoved her back, then giggled and smiled.

  "Come on," Katherine urged.

  "This is stupid."

  "Come on," Katherine sang.

  "I couldn't if I tried…" Denise said, unenthusiastically.

  "Honey if I get restless…"

  "Baby you're not that kind," Denise sang. Before they knew it, they broke out into a lively rendition of the song, dancing around the living room and giggling the entire time.

  ***

  Darla and Craig stayed late at the dance to help Jeff and the other volunteers clean up the room. When the last chair was stacked, and the floor swept, Jeff bade them all goodnight.

  "Thanks for the help, guys," he said, giving Darla a hug and Craig a pat on the shoulder. "You're both a God-send."

  Darla and Craig drifted out into the parking lot toward his car. It was well past midnight, but the air was warm and the stars and moon shone brightly in the blue-black sky.

  "I guess I should take you home," Craig said as they both stopped, hand in hand, and leaned against his car to admire the night sky. "Beautiful, huh?"

  "Yeah, it is." Darla looked up appreciatively, but when she turned back to Craig, he was staring at her.

  "You were great tonight. You really know how to have fun."

  "That's always been my strong suit," she told him, grinning.

  "Well?"

  "Well?"

  They looked deeply into each other's eyes. Both wanted to say the same thing, but neither dared.

  "I'll take you home."

  "Yours or mine?" Darla teased lightly.

  Craig looked at her seriously. "That depends on you."

  Darla tilted her head and said softly, "I choose yours."

  "Are you sure?"

  She nodded.

  He drove her to his apartment and they walked up the stairs to the second floor, holding hands. When they entered, he flicked on the light, turned to her, and kissed her gently on the lips. Darla giggled.

  "What?" he asked, taken aback.

  "I feel like I'm being bad."

  "Having second thoughts?"

  She shook her head slowly. "No. I'm just not used to feeling this way."

  He gave her a puzzled look but didn't question her remark. Instead, he went to the kitchen and offered her a soda. After turning the radio on low, they snuggled up on the sofa in the semi-darkness, her head on his shoulder.

  "You know, I've been thinking about this for a long time, but I was afraid to say anything," Darla told him.

  "Me, too."

  "Really?"

  "Yup."

  "Why?"

  "I wanted to get to know you first. Really know you, as a friend," he said. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her, loving the way she looked in the silly chiffon dress and the wa
y her red hair curled around her face. She'd taken off her headband and platforms and looked cozy and comfortable and inviting.

  "What about you?" Craig asked. "Why were you afraid of saying anything?"

  "Because I didn't want you to think I was easy. Isn't that funny? Me, worrying what a guy thinks about me. I think AIDS has affected my brain."

  He slipped his arm around her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Why do you say that?"

  Darla cast her eyes down as she spoke. "You really don't know me as well as you think. Maybe I should fill you in on all the gory details before anything happens."

  "I'm listening."

  She faced him squarely. "Craig, I got AIDS because I used to sleep with anyone that crossed my path. I didn't care who he was, just as long as he was male and hot for me. I've never had any type of real relationship with any man I've known."

  Craig looked unaffected by her confession. "What about Chelsea's father?"

  "Not even with him. We dated a short time, but nothing serious. She doesn't even know who her father is. No one does, only me."

  "Does he know about her?"

  "Yes, but he never wanted anything to do with her. He moved away a long time ago."

  Craig shook his head. "That's sad."

  "So, now you know the truth. Are you shocked?"

  Craig smiled down at her serious face. "I kind of had you pegged as a wild one from the beginning. You know, when you came to Bingo night with your head shaved? I didn't really think you were the ordinary girl-next-door type."

  "So you don't mind?"

  "I like your spunk. You know how to live life and enjoy it. That's what attracted me to you in the first place."

  "You think you've seen spunk? Baby, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

  Craig roared with laughter and she silenced him with a kiss. For several minutes, they satisfied their hunger with the swirl of tongues and roving hands. Gently, he pulled away and looked deeply into her eyes.

  "You know, after I was diagnosed with AIDS, I thought I'd never be able to love anyone, or be loved by anyone again. But Darla, I've fallen in love with you. I didn't mean to, but I did just the same. I can't promise you forever, but I can give you what's left of my life."

  "No one has ever told me they loved me before." Darla's eyes filled with tears. "Do you mean it?"

  "I love you, Darla. Do you think you could fall in love with me?"

  She looked at him through her tears. Tears of joy, not sorrow. "I already have." And she drew him to her, the first man in her life she'd ever held out of pure love.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Katherine entered the offices of the King County Journal with the sole purpose of leaving the school board articles with Earl before hurrying off to meet Jeff for coffee. The Seattle Times had called her yesterday requesting she do an in-depth article about his fundraising group and how the money was distributed within the community. This was in addition to the series of articles she was already writing. Barry had also told her he was open to any other ideas she might have in addition to the AIDS series. "I like your style of writing," he'd said. "Hit me with ideas any time you think of them." That was an offer she definitely couldn't refuse.

  Earl was on the phone as she approached his desk. She quietly slid the copy on his pile marked 'Incoming' and turned to leave but he waved her to stay. Impatiently, she stood there while he ended the call.

  "Hello, Katherine. How's it going?" he asked as he placed the phone in its cradle. "Sit down, please. I'd like to talk with you."

  Katherine refused the offer to sit. "I'm in a hurry, Earl. I'm meeting someone. What do you want?"

  Earl cleared his throat and met Katherine's blunt gaze. "The publisher has seen your series of articles in The Seattle Times," he began. "She was disappointed that we didn't run them first."

  Katherine raised her brows. "Did you inform her that you turned down the idea when I presented it to you?"

  Earl raised his hands in a gesture of defeat. "Now Katherine, I realize that I was wrong about the articles. Obviously, AIDS is a subject that interests a great deal of people. But we all make mistakes, don't we?"

  Katherine stared at him without reply. He sat back in his chair and crossed his leg over his other knee, trying to regain his confidence through his pose. "She suggested you move the articles over to our paper first, then The Times, and whoever else, can pick them up over the wire. Since you are an employee of the Journal, it only seems fitting that we run them first."

  Katherine stared at Earl, aghast that he would even suggest such a thing. "Are you kidding? I can't do that."

  "Now Katherine, you do work for us, after all."

  "Correction, Earl. I'm a freelance writer for the Journal, not an employee. And as a freelancer, I can sell my work anywhere I want." Katherine crossed her arms and glared at him. She didn't like where this conversation was heading.

  Earl pushed back deeper into his chair, causing his jowls to become more pronounced. He looked like a cornered bull dog. "There's no sense getting upset, Kathy. You've worked for us a long time and I'd hate to see anything get in the way of your job here."

  Katherine's eyes narrowed. "What? Are you telling me you'll fire me if I don't agree to let you print the articles first?"

  "I'm just saying..."

  "I know what you're saying. But the truth is, Earl, you screwed up and now you have to pay for it, not me. You're right. I've worked here a long time, and you never once gave me a chance at real writing. But now another newspaper—a much larger one—actually thinks I have talent and you don't like it. Well, tough. The Seattle Times has the articles and there's nothing you can do about it."

  Earl sat up and narrowed his eyes. "Now listen, Kathy, think about what you're doing. When The Times gets tired of running your series, they'll be through with you. Done. No more work. You don't want to throw away a steady job at the Journal for a few moments of fame, do you?"

  Katherine bent over, placed her palms squarely on his desk, and looked him square in the eyes. "You know what, Earl? You can't fire me. I quit." With that, she spun on her heel and left the office, leaving Earl sputtering in her wake.

  ***

  Denise was at her work station going over accounts on the computer when Gary came and sat on the corner of her desk.

  "Hi, gorgeous. Are you mad at me about Saturday night?" He smiled down at her, that sweet smile that reached all the way up to his mahogany eyes.

  She smiled up at his handsome face. "No, I'm not mad. Just disappointed."

  "I'm sorry. Unfortunately, accidents are a part of being a doctor. One of my patients broke his arm in two places. It took hours to re-set and cast. He was terrified the entire time, poor kid."

  "Ouch," Denise said, cringing at the thought. "The poor boy. How is he today?"

  "Just saw him. He's doing great."

  Denise smiled. "That's good to hear."

  Gary looked at her appreciatively. "I want to make it up to you for all the times I've had to cancel out on our dates."

  Denise waved a hand as if to brush his words aside. "It's not necessary. I understand."

  "No, it is necessary." He grinned at her. "I have the entire weekend off, starting on Friday. How about you take Friday off, too, and I'll take you up the coast to my island cabin for the weekend?"

  Denise's eyes grew wide. She tried to retain her composure and hoped he hadn't noticed her shocked reaction. "The whole weekend?"

  "Yes. Just you, me, the grill, and maybe a few fish, if we catch any. Peace and quiet, no interruptions, nothing. Sound good?"

  "It sounds wonderful."

  "Good. Then I'll plan to pick you up Friday morning at your house and we'll head up there. It's just a short drive and a quick boat ride, but it will feel like we've gone to paradise."

  Denise just nodded, too surprised and excited to say anything. Just the two of them, alone, for an entire weekend. He'd never even suggested she spend the night at his place before, and now they were planning an entire
weekend together.

  He kissed her on the forehead and rose to leave. "I'll see you in the cafeteria for lunch, okay? We can talk more about it then." As he headed away down the hall, Denise was so happy she wanted to cheer with delight.

  ***

  "I'm still so pissed off at Earl! I wish he was here so I could smack him!" Katherine dropped the dirty dinner plates on the counter with such force that the silverware danced on top of them.

  "Well, don't break the dishes because of him," Denise said with a laugh. She hadn't seen Katherine this angry since Darla's overnight guest months ago. "It's for the best anyway. You hated that job."

  "I know. But I still can't believe the nerve of him, thinking I'd be stupid enough to quit writing for The Seattle Times. I've made more money there in the past couple of months then I have the entire time I worked for the Journal."

  Denise scraped the dishes and set them into the sink of soapy water, but her eyes seemed to be staring off to some distant place. Katherine watched her wash and re-wash the same plate twice.

  "Is something up with you?" Katherine asked.

  "Hmmm?"

  "That dish is clean. You can rinse it now."

  "Oh." Denise blushed and began rinsing. "I guess my mind is somewhere else."

  "Want to talk about it?"

  Denise stopped washing and looked directly at Katherine. "Gary invited me to spend this weekend with him."

  "Really?" Katherine was excited for her friend. "That's wonderful."

  Denise bit her lip and stared at the floor.

  "Isn't it?" Katherine asked.

  Denise sighed. "I thought so at first, but now I'm not so sure."

  "But just the other night you were afraid that your relationship was going nowhere. Now he wants to spend the weekend with you. You should be happy."

  "I know. I've been waiting all these years to find the right guy, and he seems to be the one, but now..." she hesitated.

  "What?"

  Denise turned pink with embarrassment. "If I decide to sleep with him, won't that make me just like Darla?"

  The conversation paused as their eyes met. Katherine spoke with steady conviction. "You will never be anything like Darla. She slept with anyone, anytime, anywhere. You're in love. That's different."