Maggie followed the other parents in the long line entering the parking lot, waiting her turn to drop Kaia off at the front entrance. Country music blared from the minivan's speakers—Kaia's choice. Maggie always let Kaia choose the music when they rode together. It was much easier than fighting over the radio. Soon enough, Maggie would be able to pop in the CD of her choice as she headed home.
"I'm sorry we couldn't get here earlier," Maggie offered, as they pulled up in front of the school and stopped.
"Whatever," Kaia said under her breath, as she gathered her book bag and tennis racket. "Remind Dad to pick me up after tennis practice tonight," were her last words before slamming the van's door and stalking off. She didn't give her mother time to say goodbye or even wish her a good day.
Maggie tried not to take it personally, but her heart felt heavy as she turned AM to CD on the stereo and listened to Bob Seger sing "Roll Me Away", a song about escaping down a western highway on his big two-wheeler. Maggie had bought the CD on a whim two weeks ago, remembering how much she'd loved listening to Seger years ago, before marriage, before kids, and before life took control of her instead of the other way around. His music had a freeing effect, and she'd been listening to it continuously ever since.
Maggie dutifully followed the line of cars out of the parking lot to go home. She was relieved she didn't have to work today. Three days a week, she worked at a group home with developmentally challenged adults. It was gratifying working with her challenged friends, and she enjoyed it, but sometimes, it was exhausting meeting their needs all day, then going home to care for the needs of her family. Lately, she'd felt overwhelmed by it all—home, work, Andrew, and the kids. There never seemed to be a break in everyone's needs and wants.
Once, a long time ago, Maggie had dreamt of being a professional photographer and owning her own shop, where she could sell photos and artwork by area artists. When she and Andrew were newlyweds, they'd talked about this often, and Andrew had said that once they were settled and had some money, it might be a possibility. But the years went by, and Maggie became so enveloped in the children's lives, and in Andrew's, that her dreams had been put on the backburner, long forgotten. Today, though, as Maggie sat in traffic behind other mothers and fathers leaving the middle school, she thought about her old dreams and wondered if they would ever come true.
As the music played and traffic crawled along, she let her mind drift back to the morning rush at home. Andrew hadn't kissed her goodbye. Not even a peck on the cheek. When was the last time he had? She really couldn't remember. Was it a year ago, two years ago? The heaviness in her chest swelled. Their relationship had changed greatly in the twenty-three years they'd been married. She remembered back to when they first began dating in college in Seattle, Washington. He'd moved there for school to experience something different from his small-town upbringing. Her father had been stationed there at a military base. Andrew had been a communications major, and she'd majored in art, focusing on photography. He'd been very conservative then, but her impulsive nature had brought out the fun side in him. She'd planned trips on a whim, dragging him along with her and her camera to rocky cliffs, sandy beaches, and romantic parks on Puget Sound. Sometimes, they drove to Lake Tahoe and stayed the weekend without even a second thought. She made him promise on the day they married that they would always allow a little wanderlust in their lives, no matter how conventional they became. And she'd believed him when he said they would.
Maggie pulled up and stopped at the red light where she was to turn north to go home. She hit the back button on the stereo to once again play "Roll Me Away". She didn't switch her right blinker on to signal her turn. She just sat there, looking straight ahead. The lane headed west, just as Bob said he was doing in the song. West, across the plains, over the mountains, to the ocean. She glanced at the back seat, where her Cannon camera lay in its case. Beside it, her laptop computer also sat. Wouldn't it be fun, just for a little while, to drive a different direction and take a few snapshots? Just a few miles, not too far, not for too long. Maggie's heavy heart lightened at the thought, and a smile lit up her blue eyes. North or west? One direction meant home, the other, adventure. North or west?
The light changed to green, and Maggie didn't give it another thought. She turned up her stereo, smiled wide, and said out loud to no one but herself, "Roll me away." And she rolled clean out of sight.
***
Andrew Harrison stepped through the back door of their 1890s Victorian home with Kaia close at his heels. It was just after five, and he planned on taking a quick shower before he ate dinner and headed off to the County Planning Committee meeting he was expected at by seven. He was a busy man, committed to several area boards and committees along with his full-time job as the marketing manager at Woodroe Communications, the local television and Internet provider. The contacts he made in the area were important to his job, and his community service work looked good for the company as well. Besides, he loved the community they lived in, and he enjoyed being a part of the many important decisions about its growth and development. Plus, he also had a bigger goal in mind. He wanted to become mayor of Woodroe someday, just as his father had been. Many of the people he volunteered with felt he would be able to accomplish that goal in the next election.
Tonight, the County Planning Committee would be discussing the possible development of a large parcel of land into a new upscale neighborhood, and he was anxious to get there early and hear how some of the other members felt about the proposal. He hoped Maggie had dinner ready on time so he could leave right afterward.
But when he and Kaia stepped into the back entryway, he immediately sensed that something was wrong. Their German shepherd, Bear, slipped past them out the door in a hurry, as if no one had let him out all day. The kitchen was dark, with only the afternoon sun streaming through the windows, and there was no aroma of food cooking in the oven.
Andrew set down his briefcase and hung his coat on the rack by the door as he called out, "Maggie, we're home. What's for dinner?" to the silent house. Their two chubby cats, Jazzie and Ozzie, walked lazily into the kitchen to see who was home. Maggie was nowhere in sight.
Andrew rolled his eyes as he looked around the kitchen and saw that the breakfast dishes were still sitting, unwashed, in the sink. There was nothing cooking in or on the stove, and it looked as if Maggie hadn't come home yet.
"Great," he said under his breath, running his hand through his thick, dark hair in frustration.
Andrew's agitation didn't go unnoticed by Kaia.
"Maybe Mom is at work and will be home soon," she offered, as she laid her backpack on the kitchen table. "Sometimes she brings food home if she works late."
"Did your mom work today?" Andrew asked. He didn't keep track of Maggie's work schedule and rarely asked her about it. She was usually home before he was, because she usually picked Kaia up from school, except on practice nights.
"How would I know?" Kaia shot back. She walked past him and opened the refrigerator to rummage for a snack.
Andrew eyed Kaia one long moment but held his tongue. He hated her smart mouth, but Maggie always told him to be patient before reacting. Besides, right now, he was more annoyed with Maggie for not being home on time.
"I'm going to shower. If your mom comes home, remind her I have to leave soon," he told Kaia. The young teen shrugged as she grabbed an apple from the bottom drawer and shut the refrigerator door.
It was after six o'clock by the time Andrew came down from his shower, and Maggie still wasn't home. Kyle had come home by then, and asked where his mom was.
"Who knows," Kaia answered, irritably. She was in the middle of her algebra homework and didn't want to be disturbed.
Now Andrew was even more annoyed. He couldn't believe how irresponsible it was of Maggie to not be home.
"Maybe Mom's van broke down, and she's stranded," Kyle offered through a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie. There were always homemade cookies in the house, and he usua
lly went for those first when he was hungry.
This offhanded remark caused Andrew to pause a moment and Kaia to look up from her homework. Neither of them had thought something might have happened to Maggie to delay her from coming home on time. Andrew pondered this, then picked up his cell phone and dialed her number. "I'll try her cell phone," he said, although he already realized that if she'd broken down, she'd have called him by now.
The phone rang several times before the voice mail picked up. Andrew didn't bother to leave a message. He hung up and stared at the kids.
"No answer, just her voice mail," he reported. But all three of them knew that there were areas around town where there was no phone reception.
They continued staring at each other, each pondering their own thoughts until Kaia broke the silence.
"Do you think Mom is okay?" she asked, her voice growing nervous.
Andrew wasn't sure how to answer, because Maggie was never late coming home. Not once in the twenty-three years of their marriage had he ever had to worry about where she was or what she was doing. And he knew for certain that she couldn't say the same about him. But seeing the worry in Kaia's eyes made him want to reassure her.
"I'm sure your mom is okay," he said, glancing at Kyle for support.
"Sure," Kyle agreed after seeing the look in his father's eyes. "She might be in Walmart or at the grocery store waiting in a long line. Cell reception is lousy in those places. Or she may have left her phone in the car. There could be a thousand reasons why she's not answering."
Andrew nodded his appreciation to Kyle for coming up with some very good reasons Maggie wasn't home yet. The more he thought about it, the more he believed that those might be the exact reasons she was late. Looking at his watch, he realized it was getting late, and he had to leave for his meeting.
"Listen, kids, I have to go to my meeting," he told them, and he pulled out his wallet and handed Kyle some money. "Kyle, why don't you take your sister out to eat? I'll leave my phone on so you can call me when your mother gets home, okay?"
Kaia didn't look pleased with him leaving but didn't say anything. Kyle said they would call him.
By the time Andrew arrived at his meeting, he'd convinced himself that Maggie would be home any minute, and there was nothing to worry about. The meeting grasped his attention, and for the next two hours, he thought only of property prices, taxes, and zoning permits. It wasn't until after the meeting ended that he realized it was nine thirty, and no one had called to say Maggie was home.
Memories
By
Deanna Lynn Sletten
Today
Prologue
Danielle Westerly-DeCara stood stoically, clutching the folded American flag to her chest as the minister said his final words over the casket. She neither saw the minister nor heard his words; her mind only registered the fact that she had to get through this painful day, one moment at a time. The sun in the autumn sky belied the bleakness she felt inside. She was burying the man she loved and no amount of sympathy or prayer would comfort her today.
Dani lifted her eyes to look at the group of people surrounding the gravesite. Her dearest friend, Catherine, stood only a few feet away from her next to her husband, Richard. Dani knew Cathy was trying to be strong but tears welled in her eyes. Kevin Lindstrom, a dear friend of the family and Michael’s best friend, stood with the other veterans from the American Legion in his dress uniform looking very serious and sad. Other veteran friends of Michael’s, as well as employees, neighbors and business associates, huddled around the gravesite, all dressed in black with somber faces.
"Oh, Grandmom." Dani’s twenty-one year old granddaughter, Michelle, came up beside her and slipped her arm around Dani’s waist. Dani did the same and the two women who loved Michael DeCara the most held onto each other as the last prayers were said.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Amen. Dani heard the words being repeated by the group of family and friends but did not repeat them herself. She and Michelle held each other tighter as the coffin was slowly lowered into the ground. As it was lowered inch by inch, Dani’s heart sank with it.
The minister nodded to Dani and Michelle and the two women stepped forward. Dani bent and lifted a handful of dirt and let it slowly fall through her fingers onto the coffin now resting deep in the earth. Michelle kissed the single red rose she was holding and dropped it into the open space. It landed softly on the center of the coffin. So, this is what it all comes down to after eighteen years of happiness, Dani thought. A prayer, a handful of dirt and a single rose. One lone tear trickled down her cheek as she reached out to embrace Michelle, and then the two women slowly made their way back to the small crowd of people.
The minister handed Dani a snowy-white handkerchief to wipe the dirt from her hands, then hugged her gently as she thanked him for the lovely service. In turn, she thanked the veteran members from the American Legion for participating in the military funeral. She knew that the playing of Taps and the twenty-one gun salute would have made Michael very proud. She hugged Kevin, thanking him for arranging for the military funeral for Michael. Cathy came up to Dani and hugged her friend close, the flag pressed between them. A quiet invitation to come back to the house for lunch was passed around the group as Dani held out her hand to Michelle and they walked slowly back to the limousine with Michelle’s boyfriend, Alex, following close behind.
All Dani wanted to do was go home, draw the shades and crawl into the bed she and Michael shared for the past eighteen years, but she knew it wouldn’t be possible for several more hours. There was lunch to be served, people to commiserate with and sympathetic nods and words to endure. It was all well-meaning, but draining nonetheless, but she steeled herself to make it through the rest of this heartbreaking day. As the limousine made its way through the curving roads of the cemetery, Dani took one last look at the now deserted gravesite on top of the hill. She wouldn’t remember Michael this way, nor the way he looked just before cancer took his last breath. Her memories would always be of him exactly as he was the first time she loved him and the second time they found each other again. She reached for Michelle’s hand and looked into her green eyes, so much like her mother’s, and it brought all those memories flooding back to her.
Eighteen Years Earlier
Chapter One
Danielle Westerly cruised along the Wisconsin Interstate in her royal-blue Grand Am as the radio played softly from the back speakers. The midday sun felt glorious on her arm perched outside the window as the spring breeze whipped at her golden-blonde hair. She had chosen to take the extra time to drive instead of fly to Chicago, and as she viewed the lush scenery around her, she was pleased with her decision. Although she had already been driving eight hours, and still had several to go, she felt happy and carefree sailing along the highway on this beautiful May afternoon.
Dani's boss had thought her crazy when she said she was going to drive. "That's too far to go alone," he’d said seriously. Dani had shrugged off his protests. At thirty-seven, she was used to doing everything alone and a drive from Minneapolis to Chicago didn't seem far to her.
She also appreciated the time away from work, even though the trip was work related. As Sportswear Buyer for Chance's Department Store, one of Minneapolis' largest department stores, she worked long hours keeping on top of the latest trends, marketing the purchases, consulting with the department managers and salesclerks, setting prices and everything else her position entailed, that she rarely took time off. And now, since jewelry had been added to her buying activities, she was busier than ever. But she loved her work and all the travel that went with it. After all, it was her entire life.
Seeing that the highway she wanted to continue taking veered off to the left, Dani checked her rear-view mirror and moved into the left lane. She noted a van as it passed her on the right and saw a small face look out at her, then a little hand wave as the van took the road to the right.
Dani smiled at the young child's face until he dis
appeared from view. Children. She had once wanted children, two, maybe three. But all that was decided for her when she'd made the mistake of falling in love with the wrong man. Because of one bad decision made in her youth, she would never have children of her own. And even though she had accepted that fact many years ago, it still came back to haunt her, especially lately, ever since her friend and coworker, Janette, became pregnant with her first child. Throughout the months, Dani had watched Janette grow large and heard nothing but talk about babies. Janette complained about being fat and clumsy but Dani knew that deep down she was enjoying every precious moment, every kick and wiggle inside her.
Dani was happy for her friend but found she was thinking more and more of what she would never experience, and the thought depressed her. However, Janette had done everything right. She'd finished college, married, built up her career as the Coat Buyer for Chance's and now, when everything was perfect, was having a baby. It wasn't Janette's fault that Dani had made a fateful decision that changed her future. It was only Dani's fault. His fault, too.
Dani turned up the volume on the radio in an attempt to keep her mind in the present and on the road ahead and not on the past. "Hotel California" by The Eagles began playing across the airwaves and Dani had to force herself not to snap the radio off. Another reminder of her past. She had once loved this song and The Eagles like she had loved him. Now the music only reminded her of the past and the man that she wished she could forget. After all, what had happened was another lifetime, back when she still lived with her parents in Northern California. After leaving home to attend college at the University of Minnesota, then landing the position at Chance's upon graduation, Dani had decided never to go back. And now that her parents were retired and living in a small resort town in Northern Minnesota, she no longer had any reason to go back to California. This was fine with her since it meant no chance of ever seeing him again, not even by accident.
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