The state police arrived and took Lainie away to another area to question her. I watched her walk towards the cruiser with the officer, and it was all I could do to stay seated. Then someone called my name. “Jax?”
I looked up and saw an old friend. “Evan? Last I heard you were in California.”
“I moved up here about six months ago. What the hell happened here?” he asked.
Before I could answer him, someone in the other direction was calling to me. “We’re ready for you, Detective McKenna.”
Jordan barked at the officer. “You will question him over here. He’s got a concussion and shouldn’t move for your convenience.” She looked straight into my eyes. I guessed it was to make sure I wasn’t going to keel over any moment.
“Don’t you move, Jax. You need to get an MRI as soon as possible. I’m giving them five minutes before I bring over the EMTs.”
“Please check on Lainie. It looks like Keith tried to strangle her,” I said as the baseball took up residence in my throat again. I smiled when Evan told the officer that he would question me.
“Thanks, Evan.” I scrubbed my face with my hands, wincing when I touched the tender spot where Keith had hit me with the canoe paddle. “You remember when I told you about what happened when I was in high school?”
Evan looked at me in shock. “The blonde is the girl you told me about? The one who disappeared?”
I was sure I was grinning like an idiot. “Yeah, that’s her.” The EMTs were checking my vitals as I continued filling Evan in on the important details about what had happened since I walked into Lainie’s office, only stopping when Evan asked questions. It was hard to believe it was just a couple of weeks ago that this all began.
Lainie was sitting on the bumper at the back of the ambulance, talking to the other officers as Jordan hovered nearby. Didn’t those idiots realize she had almost died today?
Evan noticed that I was about ready to jump up and go rescue her, and he put his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll go get her, Jax. I know you’re worried about her.”
“Damn right, I’m worried. Keith almost killed her today. They should let her change out of those wet clothes. I can see her shivering from here. I’m a cop, too. I get the protocol, but they need to take into consideration what the hell she’s been through the last few weeks.” I had to stop as my head started to spin. “When you get Brent’s statement, you’ll have three officer’s details about what’s been happening. That should be enough. They don’t have to risk her health.”
“I’ll take care of it, Jax.” Evan got up and headed to the ambulance. He pulled the officer aside and explained the situation. The officer frowned, but he closed his notebook and walked over to his cruiser.
As soon as he was gone, Liz rushed to Lainie and wrapped her in a hug. The last few weeks had been hard on both of them. Reliving that night had taken its toll.
I introduced Matt to Evan. “Are we done here, Lieutenant?” he asked.
“Yes,” Evan said. “Let’s get you to the hospital before Jordan blows a gasket.”
The EMTs helped me onto a gurney and led Lainie into the back of the ambulance with me.
Chapter 16
Lainie
It took three hours to get Jax into a room. The doctor said they’d keep him in the hospital for at least twenty-four hours to make sure there weren’t complications with the concussion. Thankfully, I wasn’t admitted and only had minor abrasions and bruising; and an additional injury to my knee. I would heal physically long before the memories faded. Someday, I hoped to be able to close my eyes without seeing Keith leering at me.
Jax’s hair was in his eyes again, and I brushed it off his forehead, frowning at the dark purple bruise. Keith kept hurting the people I loved. I was glad I shot him and glad he was dead.
“I’m going downstairs to the gift shop. My laptop is still in the Chevy at the cabin, and I need to transfer some of these thoughts to paper.” Jax started to nod, but the pain immediately radiated to his face, and he just smiled.
By the time I returned to his hospital room, he was asleep. The tears ran down my cheeks as I turned to a blank page and started writing. Five pages later and I was finished. I carefully tore out three of them, folded the papers in half and wrote Jax’s name on the outside, leaving them beside the bed. Once I was out of his room and in the hall by the nurse’s station, I pulled out the cell phone and sent Matt a text.
Matt pulled up at the hospital entrance as I made my way out the door. “Take me back to the cabin.” One look at me and he started driving, somehow knowing that I had just made the hardest decision of my life. He called my mom, letting her know that he was with me and would be back in the morning.
Two hours later we arrived at the cabin. “What are we doing here now that couldn’t wait until morning?” he asked. I tore a few sheets of paper out of my notebook and handed them to him. I knew he was going to ask that, and I wasn’t sure I could speak the words so I had my answer already written out. He read it and asked, “Are you sure?” At my nod, he hugged me tightly and told me to call if I needed anything at all. Pulling out his wallet, he gave me all the cash he had on him. Money wasn’t going to be an issue for me since the tidy sum Dad left me was still collecting interest. I couldn’t access it while I had been hiding from Keith; however, with that situation resolved, I had the means to disappear forever if I wanted.
Matt and I swapped car keys, and he handed me the laptop out of the Chevy. My possessions could all be replaced but the words I’d already written couldn’t. He hugged me again and told me to let them know when I was safe and to call once in a while. I smiled and thanked him for everything. He was such a good man and never batted an eye when I asked to switch cars with him since I couldn’t drive the Chevy. I was very thankful that Mom and I had him in our lives.
Matt remained outside the cabin, waving until I was out of sight and headed south.
Jax
Something was missing. I was a bit disoriented and looked around the room remembering that I was still in the hospital when I saw Liz standing there crying. “What’s wrong? Is it Lainie?” Her eyes drifted to the paper on the nightstand beside my bed. Liz froze as I read the letter Lainie had written. Then I got pissed. “How can she do this to me after everything we’ve been through together? What does she mean she has to discover who Elaine is?”
Liz hugged me. “I don’t know, Jackson. She didn’t explain it to us either.” She brushed my hair off my forehead just like Lainie did, and the baseball was back in my throat. My eyes burned from unshed tears as I tried to wrap my head around the fact that she was gone. Again.
Chapter 17
Six Months Later…
Lainie
“THE END…” There, I did it. Those were the words that completed my therapy—short words that brought me a much-needed sense of accomplishment and pride. I had found a small house to rent on the coast just outside of San Diego. The sights and sounds of the ocean were as much a part of the healing process as the words I put on paper. Every memory and emotion from the events that happened six months ago were now written down. From those memories came the idea for a book based on the events that changed my life forever. My heart was lighter, and I felt free. The shadow of Keith was gone. I opened my email and sent the final chapter to my editor, hoping she loved the ending, too. I closed my laptop, running my hands over the scratches and dings. The money was available to purchase a new one, but this one had a connection to everything of importance in my life. It just seemed right to type Becoming Visible on it.
That first month after I left, I wrote and cried nonstop. I cried for my mom, for myself, and mostly for Jax and what I had to do to him in order to find myself again. As I sat in his hospital room that night, all I could think about was that I gave up when Keith was choking me. I gave up. I realized that after so many years of living as Elizabeth Parker, I didn’t know who Elaine Wilson was. I had to find her, the Elaine who loved Jax as a woman and not a seventeen-year-old
girl.
Now it was time to start making plans to return to Indiana, all the while hoping that Jax would understand why I left the way I did. I had known if I waited until morning, I would never have been able to do it. We would have been happy, but I would have always wondered if I could make it on my own as Elaine.
I let my hair grow longer, just past my shoulders, and I covered the blonde with auburn. Not quite the brown I grew up with but a complete change from the blonde that belonged to Elizabeth. During my retreat, I gained the confidence to wear shorts and let the world see my scars. They were part of me, and I refused to be ashamed of them anymore. I swam every day and got tanned from spending time in the fresh air and sunshine. I was whole for the first time in more than a decade.
Jax
I hadn’t been looking for a promotion when I agreed to work with Matt and the FBI to help incarcerate the rest of Keith’s drug cartel. So just two weeks ago, we rounded up the last of the bastards and the FBI released me back to my regular duties with the Indianapolis police department.
The bank account we’d found from the note in Lainie’s locket gave us the information we’d needed to bring all of them down. And we were right, some insiders that were part of the scheme included a few FBI agents. The work was rewarding and occupied most of my time, so it helped keep me from going after Lainie. I knew she was living in southern California. It wasn’t difficult to find her; she wasn’t trying to hide this time.
She called Matt and Liz about once a month to let them know she was okay. I was glad about that, but it broke my heart that she never contacted me. It hurt that I wasn’t enough for her, so I buried myself in work and lived on coffee and adrenaline. I still didn’t sleep much because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her with the bruises from Keith’s hands around her neck.
The tap at the door brought my attention to Matt standing in the doorway. “She called again, didn’t she?” I asked. “Never mind, don’t answer that. As long as she’s okay, I don’t want to know.”
“You look like shit, Jax. Are you getting any sleep?” Matt asked. “I’m worried about you. All you do is work.”
“I’m fine. Just drop it.” I grabbed my coffee cup and swallowed what was in it, grimacing at the cold, bitter taste. “If you’re done, I need to get some more coffee,” I said as I got up and started towards the door.
“Liz wants you to come for dinner tonight,” he said looking at me with a frown. “Seems like you could use some real food. Be there at six or I’ll come looking for you,” he added as he walked out the door.
Doesn’t he realize it hurts to be there with them? Liz looks so much like Lainie. I got my drink and headed back to my office, stopping to answer questions from a rookie detective. Seeing my reflection in the window, I realized why Matt was worried. Jesus, no wonder Matt said I look like shit. It reinforced that I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days. I decided to go home and shower and shave before showing up at Matt and Liz’s for dinner. On second thought, I figured a haircut might not be a bad idea either. Maybe that would get Matt off my back.
Two Weeks Later
Lainie
Mom and Matt were waiting for me as I pulled my luggage off the carousel. Mom ran into my arms as she said, “I didn’t recognize you at first with that hair. I love it!” She hugged me tighter and then held me at arm’s length, scrutinizing every detail. “You’re wearing shorts?” she asked while trying to hide the surprised expression.
“I don’t have to hide anymore. No more being invisible,” I stated with a grin. I hugged Matt. “How’s Jax?” I asked. Matt grimaced. “What? He’s okay isn’t he?”
“He’s all right.” He looked me in the eye as he continued. “He wasn’t happy that you disappeared, and he’s had a hard time dealing with everything.”
The sun was shining and the sky was blue, a perfect day for a homecoming. I climbed in Matt’s truck and settled into the backseat, glad I didn’t have to deal with the Indy traffic. I’d forgotten how crazy it could be. The city slid by as my thoughts were centered around seeing Jax tomorrow. Mom wanted to invite him to dinner tonight, but I said no, I wanted to see him on my own. Matt had helped me arrange everything.
After lunch, I pulled out my laptop and set it on the table. “You’re still using that beat up old thing?” Matt asked. “Why didn’t you buy a new one?”
I had thought for a moment before I answered. “It just feels right to use this one. The nicks and scratches are testimony to everything it’s been through, like my scars.” I let the computer boot up and opened my manuscript. “I finished it. You two are the first to read it besides my editor.”
Mom used my hand to pull me into a hug. “I know it will be hard for you to read this, but I really need your opinion.” Matt hugged us both, knowing that reliving the years with Keith would be difficult for Mom.
“Send it to my printer, Elaine. It will be easier for both of us to read it,” Matt said as he checked that the machine was on and ready to go.
“I’m going to publish it myself. Do you think Jax will read it?” I asked. Matt shrugged his shoulders and Mom just returned a sheepish smile. Butterflies had taken up residence in my stomach. I went to the kitchen and for a soda from the fridge and took it out to the backyard where I sat by the pool, thinking about the memories that went into the book.
When I heard the door open, I looked up as Matt came out and sat on the chaise next to me. “I’ll take you to the police station tomorrow if you want.”
“That’s okay. I really need to do this myself. The transport company is supposed to deliver my car later today.” Matt couldn’t hide his concern. “I know you’re worried about Jax’s reaction. I’m sure he’s pissed at me for leaving, but I’ll be all right no matter how he reacts.” Matt hugged me and headed back into the house.
All of a sudden swimming sounded like a very good idea. Maybe I could burn off some nervous energy by doing laps. The sun continued its journey across the sky, marking the time until I was finally tired enough to get some sleep. My stomach growled as I made my way upstairs for a quick shower.
The transport company truck arrived with my car on a flatbed. I watched them unload it, signed the invoice, and accepted the keys. It was covered with bugs, and I decided to take it to the car wash.
Three times through and all the bugs were finally off my new car. Next stop, that Chinese restaurant I saw on my way into town. Twenty minutes later and I was headed back to Mom and Matt’s, munching on an egg roll to keep the hunger pangs down to a dull roar. When I got home, Mom was in the kitchen staring at the open pantry.
“Mom? You okay?” I asked. “I brought dinner.”
“There you are,” she replied as she wiped tears off her face. “I knew it would be hard to read about those years with Keith, but now I’m so drained. I was just trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.”
I unloaded the bags of take-out and pulled her into a hug as she began to apologize. “I’m sorry, Elaine. Sorry for bringing Keith into our house. I believed all of his lies, believed that the drugs were the answer to my problems. I had no idea he was treating you that way.” She sniffled and reached for a tissue. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“I know, Mom. It’s over and done,” I said. “Let’s eat, and then you can let me know what you thought of my book.”
The next morning, I walked into the police station and asked the desk sergeant to see the police chief. I clipped on the visitor’s badge as I followed an officer to the chief’s office. The tip of my cane tapped on the floor as we made our way down the hall.
“You must be Elaine. I’m Chief Samson,” she said as she walked around the desk to shake my hand. “Agent Johnson told me you would like to use one of our interrogation rooms to speak with Lieutenant McKenna. I normally wouldn’t allow it, but I owe Matt a favor. Lieutenant McKenna is down in booking right now. Let’s get you set up before he comes back.”
She led me to Interrogation Room A just outside of Jax’s office. I sa
t with my back to the one-way glass. “Do you need anything?” she asked.
“No. I’m good. Thanks for letting me do this.” She left the door open and then turned down the hall to her office. I was nervous, and the butterflies fluttered around in full-force today. I rubbed my locket. It had always been a source of inner peace and strength for me, and I needed every bit of that right now.
Chief Samson intercepted Jax as he walked towards his office. I heard her talking to him. “Lieutenant McKenna, someone with information about one of your cases is waiting for you in the interrogation room. She said she will only talk to you.”
Jax
I’d just come from an overnight stakeout and was tired enough that I might actually sleep for a change. When I walked past the interrogation room, there was a redhead sitting facing the other way. Doesn’t look like anyone I’ve interviewed before, but I hope her information is worth my time. I need to get out of here and catch some sleep. “I’m Lieutenant McKenna. I understand you have some information for me. Let’s make this quick. I was on an all-night stakeout and am ready to head out of here.”
“You’ll want to hear this,” she said as she turned to face me. “Hello, Jax.”
Her voice was like a fist to my gut. She looked amazing all tanned and toned. “Elaine,” I replied, not trusting myself to say anything else. Clenching my jaw seemed to help keep my instincts in check. Then it happened, the flood of emotions: relief, uncertainty, but mostly anger. That feeling overshadowed everything else—anger that she left me in the middle of the night with only a note to explain.
“How are you, Jax?” she asked in a soft but confident voice. I’m sure she noticed that I called her Elaine and not Lainie. “I’m sorry that I left the way I did. I—”
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