by Sonny Barger
In the past, when some friends were released from prison, instead of getting a “nonassociation clause” from their parole officers, meaning they’re forbidden to associate with bike riders, they got an “association clause.” We weren’t the only organization out of Oakland taking chances on people. The Oakland Raiders did the same thing when owner Al Davis created a winning organization from the NFL’s collection of rebels and outcasts.
Be extremely cautious in judging and writing people off. If you’re dealing with truly unique individuals, be sure you’re looking deep enough below the surface to see if there’s something salvageable. Of course we can never be a hundred percent sure of a person’s true character, so do your due diligence, your homework, and, above all, listen to your gut.
Just because someone might be aggressive, weathered, and rough around the edges doesn’t mean they can’t learn new tricks or that they’re not worthy of another chance at life. Or that through their experiences, they can’t teach you a new trick or two about success. If all someone needs is guidance and leadership administered with love and respect—a little straightening, new parts, and a paint job—you might want to take the gamble. Some of my best friends were the same people others considered incorrigible and impossible to deal with. I saw them turn themselves from scrap into a powerful force to be reckoned with. Granted, it’s a risky proposition, with lots at stake, but I believe that the greater the risk, the higher the potential for gain.
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How Strong You Look Is as Important as How Strong You Are
Unfortunately, I’m not much of a poker player. For all the years I’ve spent in the joint, I haven’t played cards all that much. But I’ve known lots of guys who gamble for a living with a system that they have developed and follow religiously. Since I’m not much of a gambler, I tend to overanalyze and go for the sure bet. But one thing that I have garnered from playing the game is the development of a poker face. When you sit down to do business, having an effective poker face gives you a hell of an advantage.
Power and poker involve keeping those around you guessing, especially during tense play and negotiation. I suppose that’s what the game is all about. At the poker table, the strongest players look for the weakest bluffers. What’s your strategy in keeping up a strong front, even when you’re standing on shaky ground? Whether you’re in a courtroom or a conference room, nothing conveys strength like neutrality. A neutral, impassive face with focus and intimidating depth can throw your opponent much more than hard looks, angry words, pounding fists, and idle threats. The person with the most forceful expression generally has the weakest hand.
A poker face is the best screen, blocking out telltale verbal and nonverbal indicators.
A tell is a poker mannerism that identifies your holdings. Smiling when you have a big (very good) hand is an obvious tell. Subtler tells include iris dilations, a throbbing pulse, or acting in a certain manner in a given situation like frowning when you get a bad card.
Most of us have our tells. What’s yours? Think about it. Is it smiling, is it frowning, does your interest get piqued or ebb away. We naturally tend to “telegraph” our emotions with expressions and gestures, and they disclose our strengths and weaknesses. A tell hinders your negotiating power and weakens your position.
Sit-downs and negotiations are like poker games. You have interests to protect; otherwise, you wouldn’t be playing the game, and the object of the game is to walk away a winner.
Only thirty percent of what is communicated between two people sitting in front of each other is verbal. The other seventy percent is body language, tone of voice, hesitations, inflections, and pauses. That’s why a lot of people hide behind telephones to communicate.
If you’re up against a frequent rival, get to know his quirks. It might constitute knowing whether your opponent is holding a good hand or if he’s bluffing. Figuring out an opponent’s tell is an underrated weapon.
Here are a few hints to maintain an effective poker face that can be used in a lot of situations.
Don’t move a lot. Sit still.
Breathe normally. (Under pressure, this is easier said than done.)
A poker face isn’t a mean or menacing look, so don’t stare intensely.
Don’t show your teeth.
Avoid looking smug or self-satisfied. That’s a hard look to maintain. If you’re winning, or if momentum seems to be shifting toward your side, or if your opponent is on the brink of blinking, don’t show it by gloating.
Watch your posture. Slumping is as much of a tell of weakness and defeat as sitting up too straight. The idea is to look neither defeated nor victorious.
The most important thing to learn is how to relax. You might even want to go so far as to practice relaxing your face in the mirror. While you are looking into the mirror, ask yourself, Is this a guy who is strong?
Whether you’re on trial, making an important business pitch, or buying a new washing machine, the more relaxed you are, the better it will serve you over the long haul. A long sit-down is filled with a lot of boredom interrupted by seconds of horror, fear, or panic. Hang in there and stay cool.
The true masters of body language are judges. I’ve rarely been able to guess the verdict of any trial based on the thirty seconds between the time the judge glances at the verdict slip he has been handed by the bailiff and the moment of truth when he reads the verdict aloud. In all my days spent on trial, rarely have I seen a good judge tip his hand and give you a clue. Judges have excellent control of their bodies and their emotions, not only during the moments of truth, but also, if they’re good, throughout the entire proceedings. Learn from them. It is one of the reasons they appear powerful and in control.
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Find Your Speed, Maintain Velocity, Keep on Doin’ It
I’m on the highway a lot, and I equate living with riding. I’ve put so many miles on so many motorcycles that nothing—and I mean nothing—I see on the highway surprises me. As age slows my reflexes, the tradeoff is that I’m now much wiser on the road. I stay tough, I stay cool, and I leave road rage to the less experienced traveler. The challenge to driving or riding is knowing the simple rules, finding a groove and sticking to it.
I’ve ridden all over America, and in Europe and Asia, and have found that almost every highway has its own rhythm, pace, and feel. In America, a long desolate central California interstate spanning hundreds of miles feels one way, a beautiful winding road into the mountains of Colorado, Oregon, or Washington State feels another. I’ve ridden pancake-flat stretches across New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, and Oklahoma, and back roads through the big sky, lakes, and trees of Montana and the Dakotas. I’ve ridden the landscaped six-lane California freeways and the urban expressways and antiquated turnpikes in Pennsylvania and New Jersey to the elevated waterways at the southernmost tip of Florida. In Japan, I rode the crisscrossed superhighways. In the Swiss Alps, I rode upward through the clouds. I’ve ridden the highways through France, Germany, Scandinavia, and the British Isles. You hear people say that the world is shrinking, but if you actually hit the highways on a motorcycle, you realize it hasn’t shrunk at all. It’s as massive as ever. There’s a lot to see and experience, there’s lots of highway out there. And the highway is my lifeline.
The rules of any two-lane or four-lane highway are simple. The right lane is for cruising. The left lane is the passing lane. It is not intended to be a fast lane. I’ll repeat: it is a passing lane. A passing lane is designed for maneuvering around those people who have the right to go slower, just as it’s my right to rocket around them if I choose to live life at a faster clip. So to spell it out real simple: You cruise in the right lane. When you come upon a slower vehicle than yourself, you pass them by going into the left lane, then you go back into the right lane. Those are the simple rules. Negotiating the highway successfully starts with knowing your pace in the big picture, either as a leader or a follower, and not as someone obstructing the flow. Which are you?
The hig
hway is designed to accommodate all sorts of travelers, both leaders and followers. Since there are miles and miles of roadway, theoretically there’s plenty of space for everyone. By driving willy-nilly at inconstant speeds, idiotic drivers upset the natural flow and balance of the road for everyone. They turn travel into a chaotic and needlessly competitive experience.
I try to find the Zen of the highway and stay constant. Here are a few rules of the road I like to follow that keep me on course.
Find your speed, maintain your velocity, keep it up, keep it consistent, and stay in the pocket. If someone directly ahead of me seems headed in the same direction at the same rate of speed, I might lock in and pace them.
Listen to your vehicle. Very often it’s trying to tell you something. As long as I’ve had AM/FM-radio-equipped Harleys, I can’t remember turning one on. I prefer to listen to the sound of my own engines.
Stay alert. Glance frequently at your rearview mirror. Make sure it’s clean and unobstructed so that you can identify even the most subtle dangers coming from behind you. Use your wits, and not necessarily your speed. Keep an eye on the open skies and the open road. Be ready for anything.
Most important, stay out of the passing lane except when you need to pass someone. Travel isn’t a race. If you’re leading, find the right speed and pace that accommodates the rhythm of your pack. If you’re following, trust your leader, find his rhythm of consistent forward movement, and stick to it. Find and experience the flow of the road and the road of life.
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Joining a Group Doesn’t Make You Any Less of an Individual
There’s a time to blend in, like when you’re riding on the highway, but there’s also a time to be an individual. Believe it or not, joining a great organization increases your individuality and encourages it. It does not stifle it. When you’re part of a group, the right leadership encourages your differences and unique talents and allows you to excel in unpredictable ways.
As members of an organization that rides the same brand of bike, my friends and I sure look, ride, and act differently. True individuals and unusual characters are the core of what makes any organization unique and competitive.
We all conform to some degree. Just as businessmen wear suits and ties, we ride Harleys and wear our colors. So the challenge is to make sure that no two bikes look, feel, or ride the same. Why blend into the crowd when you’re in an environment of freedom? Why lose yourself to the masses? A “well-organized group” is composed of many different parts that all have one thing in common, whereas a crowd is composed of many individuals who have very little, if anything, in common.
Very few make it to the top of the heap by remaining ordinary. You not only have the right to be an individual, but, for the good of your organization, you have the obligation to continue to change and get better. So why linger in the background with the majority? We already have enough people riding in the middle of the road. Break away and test the fringes.
A good example of individuality was a member of our group back in the sixties and seventies. He was as rough and tough as the rest of us, a former navy man and a championship wrestler. You could always depend on him, he was always there. His one compulsion was his house—his “castle,” he called it. His front yard was a textbook example of anal compulsiveness. Colored rocks were neatly arranged in rows and he worked incessantly to keep it straight and neat. He also didn’t allow any drugs of any sort on his premises. He was a real individual who knew what he wanted and maintained his own individuality. And yet, like I said, he was the most loyal club member in the organization.
What about the company you keep or the organization you have built around yourself? Are you distinguishable from the rest yet still considered a “company” man? Do you feel comfortable among the members of your group or are you just faking it?
It’s no accident that I ride a loud bike, have fun partying, and proudly wear a colorful patch on my back. Those around me do, too. I’ve never felt any security in joining the mainstream. I prefer to walk a little out of step. Within my organization, I have expressed my individuality by being myself.
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Don’t Live for a Good Funeral
Why do we wait until exceptional people die before reaching out to honor them? Why do we miss partying with one another while we’re all still alive? Or worse, why do we overlook someone we know who happens to feel alone, is down on their luck, or is in need of our help and company as a comrade or friend? In some groups, when a living member reaches a landmark year, their organization honors them by presenting them with plaques, awards, dinners, parties, rides, and most important, they constantly celebrate the brotherhood and the longevity they share now. Today. Ten-year anniversaries of riding with a club are treated as a big deal.
Motorcycle clubs are known for staging elaborate funerals. I don’t like funerals because I think they are held too late.
When a bike rider dies, funerals are a loud, massive, and colorful show of respect. Although I respect those who attend funerals for the express purpose of honoring a brother, and while it’s an amazing show of solidarity when hundreds, sometimes thousands, of motorcycles converge on a cemetery, I can’t help thinking about how all the resources that go into funerals—the flowers, the limos, the coffin, the airfares—how all that expense could easily go toward something else that benefits those left behind to carry on.
Living life is what is important. What goes on your gravestone is something you’ll never see. You’ll never hear the eulogies or read the obits or talk about yourself after you’re gone, so listen carefully now because they are talking about you, believe it or not.
When my doctor told me I had only a few months to live, I didn’t brood or sulk or think, Poor me. Instead, I started riding faster, harder, and louder. Death sounds like a mighty dull, slow, and dreary process. That’s why I hope to put it off for as long as possible. While I accept the constant risk and inevitability of death, as for funerals, I don’t like ’em. I’ll choose a fast ride with the living over a slow ride with the dead any day.
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Controlled Anger Is a Powerful Weapon
Anger takes up a lot of time, energy, and resources, and in the long run gets you nowhere until you understand it and then act on it.
Anger, like war, can be approached as a strategic art. By its very nature, anger is a natural human reaction to a situation. But it doesn’t have to be acted upon violently. Anyone can get angry. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. Kick the dog. Punch the wall. Yell and scream. Kick ass. Even if you’re just letting off steam, there’s not much to gain if you let your anger get out of control. Kicking someone’s ass—now, that’s another story. If you’re going to expend your energy through anger or rage, the secret is to get something out of it. Don’t expect blind anger to accomplish anything. However, if it’s directed and focused, why not use it? To me, the concept of “anger management” is not necessarily about containing your anger, it’s about accomplishing something with it and going beyond it.
Here’s exactly how I get maximum mileage out of my anger. First, I make sure that I’m angry with the right person, at the right time, for the right reason, with the right intensity, and for the right duration.
Let’s go through the steps.
Say I’m angry, but I am at the point where I’m still rational and able to see straight, which means I’ve gotten over the “blind with rage” part of being angry. I use the old method of counting to ten (slowly) before acting. I make sure I don’t misdirect my anger at the wrong person, which is what we irrationally or carelessly tend to do. If I’m angry with Joe but I punch Bob off his bike because he happens to ride by, or because he’s smaller than Joe, that doesn’t help me accomplish my beef with Joe. Go ahead and get pissed off and act on whoever deserves it.
Acting on your anger is central. Kicking someone’s ass days or even months after the fact does little or no good. Think first, then respond immediately. It’s a clear reaction to your an
ger, and you’ve not only made your point, but there’s going to be little confusion as to when and why the other guy on the other side of the table is nursing a swollen jaw.
Getting angry for the right reason has to do with identification. Work on your anger threshold, and go to the mat for only the important reasons as opposed to raising hell for trivial reasons. If someone who borrows my bike accidentally wrecks it, and even if I was dumb enough to lend it to him, my anger might be justifiable.
How long you stay angry tells a lot about your temperament. Know when to let go. Act on your anger, then move on. If you stay angry, or worse, hold grudges for weeks and months, you are harboring and festering and accomplishing nothing. It’s an indication of extreme weakness and pettiness when someone stays angry even after everything is settled. If all parties have signed a treaty and you’re still stewing, get over it. That is, unless we’re talking about revenge, and that’s a whole other story.
Don’t let your anger stay on the stove like a kettle of boiling water. I find that if I’m angry with my friend or old lady, and I let my anger be known immediately, it gets resolved quickly. If I remain angry with my enemy or my competition, and I keep it inside, I am doing myself and those around me a big disservice.
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