by C. K. Martin
Those feelings came from being close to someone who, right from the start, she had known would upend her plans and carefully ordered world.
As they pulled up outside Hayley’s bar, the door was closed and the lights were off. Kate was relieved. There would be no work distractions to pull Hayley back to the real world before she had chance to appreciate how amazing the evening had been. Kate wanted her to lie in bed and just think about the time they had together. That, Kate knew, would be key to getting date number four. She just had to work out what could be better than the things they had done tonight.
Planning could wait for tomorrow. Now, as the taxi meter clicked over, she had to screw up the courage to say goodbye.
‘Why don’t you come up?’ it was so quiet that Kate almost didn’t hear it. In the dark, she could see Hayley’s eyes shining with hope and something indefinable. Kate felt her stomach contract. She could barely breathe as the enormity of what Hayley was offering hit her.
‘I’d love to,’ she whispered, hope and desire flaring like twin flames in her chest.
Chapter Fifteen
Hayley fumbled as she tried to insert the key in the lock. The anticipation made her fingers weak and the undercurrent of fear added a slight tremble.
She could feel Kate behind her, a hand on her hip, their bodies almost pressed together but not quite. It was familiar and it was arousing at the same time. It was driving her out of her mind.
That, she reasoned as the key finally slid home, was the only explanation for the words coming out of her mouth when she invited Kate in. She had never brought anyone back here. Other than a few delivery men and Pablo, during that one time when there was a problem with the kitchen sink, no one had been up here at all.
From the moment she had laid eyes on Kate, she had been breaking all of her own rules. This, she knew, was the final one. Why hadn’t she offered to go back to Kate’s room? Had she needed her so badly she couldn’t even wait for the drive up the hill?
No, it was more than that, she thought as she offered Kate a drink, autopilot politeness taking over. The hostel felt less real. A temporary place for transient sex. Tonight she wanted to be able to let go in the safety of her own sheets.
It had been so long since she had just allowed herself to be in the moment when it felt so right.
Kate declined the wine, instead closing the distance between them. Hayley watched as she placed her bag on the counter with deliberate care. Now that they were here, now that she had made the bold gesture of invitation, she almost didn’t know what to do next. Frozen with not wanting to do the wrong thing, her entire body felt alien to her.
At the first brush of Kate’s lips against hers, she realised that the younger woman had no such qualms.
It felt new and like a memory at the same time. Kate kissed her slowly, gently, as if she was trying not to scare her away. Her hand slid up Hayley’s bare arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake, despite the heat of the night. The uncontrolled passion of their first encounter simmered under the surface, held in check for now, as it had been every day since. Kate’s kisses held the promise of more nights beyond just this one.
They had come too far to turn back now. The carefully created world she’d built from scratch with her own two hands lay at the mercy of the woman whose lips brushed her own.
‘I’ve been dreaming of this since the night we met,’ Kate whispered. ‘You have no idea how hard it’s been, seeing you every day.’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘I don’t think so. If you knew how much I’ve wanted you, how much I needed you, then you wouldn’t have kept yourself away from me. You wouldn’t have stopped me from kissing you here,’ she moved from Hayley’s lips and along the length of her jaw line. She kissed the fluttering pulse at the side of her neck, lips a temporary distraction from the hand sitting on the waistband of Hayley’s jeans. ‘You wouldn’t have stopped me from touching you,’ she slid her hand over the thick material, cupping her with enough pressure to dissolve any remaining resolve.
Hayley felt a rush of heat and knew she was ready for Kate’s fingers from that single touch. Her body responded to Kate in a way she couldn’t understand. All she knew for sure was that she needed to touch as much as she ached to be touched.
‘I want to do to you,’ Kate continued, ‘all the things I didn’t get to do that first night.’
‘What else is there?’ Hayley gasped as Kate slid a thigh between hers, gripping her and pulling them close.
‘You’ll soon find out.’ Kate pulled back and looked in her eyes, voice deep with promise. ‘Bedroom?’
‘That way.’ Hayley pointed at the door and didn’t even care what mess might be waiting for them in there. All she knew was that it contained a soft flat surface to press Kate’s body against with her own. Nothing else mattered.
She led Kate by the hand, pulling her to a place she had never shared with anyone. The room that had always been her safe escape. Untouched by the outside world and all the danger it contained. Tonight, Kate would break through that invisible barrier and she would let her. It was a permission she swore she would never give, but at the sound of Kate’s breathing behind her, all bets were off.
Hands slid into the back pockets of her jeans and squeezed. A simple action, chaste enough in comparison to things to come, but it was enough to send another quiver of desire through Hayley. She spun around, pulling Kate’s hands free and placing them around her waist instead. ‘I need you so badly,’ she confessed. The words sounded alien to her own ears. A shameless pleading.
‘Then let me make love to you. I don’t want either of us to fight it anymore.’ Kate pulled at the button of her jeans, tugging the zip down. ‘I want to show you that I’m worth it.’
‘You’ve always been worth it. It’s me who’s not worthy of you.’
‘Shhh,’ Kate placed a finger against her lips to silence her. ‘None of that. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Tonight, I’m going to make you see that.’
Unlike their first night, there was no frantic tearing of clothes. The desire ran as deep, but with a powerful stillness. Hayley let Kate remove each item piece by piece, her body arching towards the mouth that insisted upon exploring every inch as it became exposed. When only her underwear remained, she flipped Kate over and began to do the same, hand sliding under soft cotton to softer skin underneath. When she reached the lace of Kate’s underwear, the material was already damp, leaving her with no doubts that Kate’s body was as ready for her as she hoped it would be.
She slid the material down over her thighs, cupping a calf in her hand to remove them completely. There was a moment of hesitation, and then she pushed Kate’s leg back and to the side, exposing her completely to her view. Kate’s breath hitched at being so openly admired, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she allowed Hayley to look at her, glistening in the faint light coming through from the hallway.
‘Come here,’ Hayley demanded, her voice low and husky in her throat. Kate did as she demanded, straddling her thighs as she sat on the edge of the bed. She braced herself on her knees, her arms around Hayley’s neck. Hayley kissed her deeply before turning her mouth’s attention to the breasts in front of her, taking first the left, then the right into her mouth. She sucked on Kate’s nipples, pulling them into taut peaks as Kate’s body began to move in response, her head thrown back to push them harder against Hayley’s lips.
Hayley continued licking and sucking as she moved her right hand between Kate’s thighs, using her left to hold Kate steady in their precarious position. She moved her fingers back and forth in the soft wetness she found there waiting for her, Kate’s body opened for her to explore. The involuntarily shudder at her touch told her that Kate was ready. That she needed her now.
She lined up her fingers, testing and dipping only the tips into Kate. She felt the tension, a reflexive tightening in response to the intrusion, then Kate relaxed. ‘Ready?’ Hayley whispered. Kate nodded in response, her eyes communicat
ing complete trust.
It was all the invitation she needed. Hayley bent forwards again, her mouth engulfing the nipple that had remained hard and ready, waiting for her. She pushed Kate down with her free arm, bracing her hand for the weight of her body, impaling her on steady fingers in one slick and easy movement. Kate gave a guttural groan of pleasure and pain as she held herself still for a moment or two, her body adjusting to the intrusion. Then she began to rock her hips back and forth, riding Hayley’s fingers and rubbing herself against her palm. Hayley’s fingers bent and curled with each roll of the hips, unerringly finding the sweet spot that Kate had been waiting for.
She could feel the orgasm building around her fingers, pulling her deeper into Kate’s body as she held her closer and tighter. Kate moaned with each stroke and touch, unable to hold back the vocalisation of her desire. She was half-begging, half-sobbing beyond control as she arched into Hayley’s hand one final time, her body rigid as the waves of pleasure washed through her and she called out Hayley’s name.
Then she slumped against her shoulder, body weak with exhaustion. Hayley lowered her to the bed, words she had never said to anyone playing on her lips but not coming out. She was in awe of Kate’s beauty as she lay there, recovering, knowing that her turn would come soon enough.
An hour later, Hayley stared into the darkness, her body heavy with exhaustion. Her hands drifted in delicate circles over Kate’s skin, wondering if she would ever stop being amazed by the woman who had come to share her bed. Before the usual darkness of her thoughts could take over, she drifted to sleep with the soft breath of Kate moving in and out in time with her own.
Chapter Sixteen
Kate’s eyes fluttered open and began to adjust to the darkness. There was no temporary confusion, no wondering where she was. Her body was warm with Hayley’s pressed against her and the memory of the last few hours together still made her body heavy and sore with satisfaction.
It felt strange - in a good way - being in someone else’s room. In someone else’s bed. The life she had been living meant that even if she rented an apartment, she always felt temporary in some sense. She had adopted a minimalist lifestyle by necessity. She never had a place that felt truly hers and she never stayed somewhere that was someone else’s real home either.
The bed she lay in and the woman it contained were permanent features here. Once, she believed that those kinds of thoughts would frighten her. That they would make her uncomfortable in their familiarity. Kazue’s bed had been the last to feel that way and for so long since it had been associated with heartbreak.
This bed felt, in a way she couldn’t define, like a home.
Hayley’s bar was closer to the ocean than the hostel. There, on the nights when she left out her earplugs and listened for the sound of the waves, they were always distant and inconsistent. Here, in the silence, she could hear them hammer and thud with each roll up the beach. A reassuring thunder that made her want to wake Hayley up with kisses so they could share it together.
Just the thought of kissing Hayley again and what it could turn into ignited a spark of desire that always seemed on the verge of flaring from ember to flame. Her body had never responded so quickly and easily to another woman’s touch, not even with Kazue. She squirmed, pressing her thighs together. She was never going to be able to get back to sleep if she continued with those kinds of thoughts.
Perhaps, she wondered, Hayley might actually not be adverse to the idea of being woken up with kisses for another session of mind-blowing sex to the background sounds of the ocean. It didn’t sound like a bad proposition when she put it like that.
Apart from being kissed by this mouth, Kate thought when she swallowed. It felt like crap with the after effects of food, wine and…well, it wasn’t like she’d had the chance to clean her teeth before passing out from exhaustion. She ran the tip of her tongue over her front teeth, feeling the film. No, it was not the kind of mouth she wanted to be remembered for.
Her eyes could make out the shapes of furniture in the darkness. She slid out of bed, doing her best not to wake Hayley as she moved their bodies apart. Away from hot skin and sheets, her body chilled against the night air, nipples painfully erect from a night of overstimulation. Hayley was going to be the death of her.
Kate made her way from the bedroom to the bathroom. She moved slowly, taking gentle steps, determined not to bump into anything and wake Hayley. No, if she was going to wake her up, it was going to be in the best way possible. The fear of being burglarised was not the emotion she wanted to arouse in the other woman.
Kate shut the bathroom door quietly behind her and groped for the light switch. It was higher than she expected and it took her a few seconds to find it during which a faint sense of panic began to grow. The bathroom had no window; her eyes were unable to find any bearings in the pitch-black room. She flicked the switch and waited a few seconds. The light finally came on and she blinked against the harsh fluorescent glare.
Kate looked at herself in the mirror above the sink. Her mouth was still pink and swollen from so many passionate kisses. Her hair was a tangled mess that told no lies about the things she had done. She ran her fingers through it until they caught in the knots. She would have to spend some serious time with Hayley’s conditioner before she left the next morning.
It was too soon to be thinking about leaving. She had no intention of walking out of those doors without another chance to show Hayley exactly how she felt about her. The past few weeks had been the hardest she had ever tried to convince someone she was worth dating, but every single moment of effort had been worth it for the chance to make love to Hayley again.
Kate looked at the toothpaste on the shelf above the sink. Next to it was a solitary toothbrush. Despite everything they had done together, there was something not quite right about going ahead and using someone else’s toothbrush the first night you stayed over. She contemplated squeezing the toothpaste onto her finger and using that instead, but the stale taste in her mouth would need something more vigorous.
Hayley probably kept mouthwash somewhere. The mirror above the sink was actually the front of a cabinet, she realised, hooking her fingers under the lip and pulling it open. There, in the middle, was a half-empty bottle of mouthwash. Perfect.
Kate unscrewed the lid and poured a measure out into it. It wasn’t a brand she had ever used before. It was soft spearmint flavour, not one of the harsh ones that made everything taste funny for hours afterwards. She decided she liked it. As she moved the liquid around her mouth, she made a mental note of the brand before screwing the lid back on. She put the bottle back on the shelf and continued to swish backwards and forwards. It was very hard to track the required two minutes when you didn’t have a watch on because you were stark naked, she decided.
Hands on hips, her eyes darted around the room, taking it in, before settling back on the cupboard in front of her. A small white box caught her eye. The label faced towards her.
Kate didn’t mean to look. It crossed all kinds of rules to snoop in someone else’s bathroom cupboard. She knew that, but she couldn’t help herself. She reached forward and took out the box. It was for diazepam. That explained Hayley’s sometimes-overcautious demeanour. Her neutral responses.
Except that, Kate saw with a corresponding hollowness in her stomach, the pills were in someone else’s name.
She spat the mouthwash into the sink. It might have been a long time since she’d been intimate with anyone, shared their space, but she knew you didn’t keep a stranger’s random prescription medication in your cupboard.
The sinking feeling became stronger. Intuition told her she’d found something significant. Kate began to put the pieces into place. The reluctance at getting involved. The reluctance at talking about her life outside running the bar. Not talking about her history. The box was dated only two months ago. It wasn’t that old. New enough for there to still be someone else in Hayley’s life.
Her whole world, the one she had been b
uilding to completion over the past few weeks and had, tonight, felt like a real thing again, began to crumble from beneath her.
Kate swallowed, her newly fresh and minty mouth forgotten. Instead, she put the medication on the sink and turned off the light. She allowed her eyes a few more minutes to get used to the darkness and then opened the door.
Instead of returning to the bedroom, she groped her way along the walls and back to the kitchen. Thankfully, the kitchen blinds were open and the whole room was bathed in shimmering white moonlight. On the counter, she could see the outline of her bag, carelessly tossed there when they came in. She had only been thinking about Hayley in that moment. Thinking about what it would be like to get her naked and into bed.
Now, the whole memory felt tainted.
She reached into her bag and pulled out her phone. It had automatically connected to the wifi in the bar down below. Pulling up the web browser, she opened a new tab and typed in Rachael Taylor Chapman. She hoped that Hayley’s mystery woman was slightly less elusive than Hayley herself was.
Google returned over fifty thousand hits.
As she scanned the first page, the sound of the waves disappeared, replaced by the blood filling her ears. Story after story was displayed. Not the social media sites as she was expecting, but actual news stories. Headlines. Disturbing headlines.
She clicked back to the top of the screen and selected the images function. The face staring back at her was unmistakeable.
It was younger. It was pale and drawn. The hair was a darker shade and the make-up more pronounced. But it was, without a doubt, the woman sleeping in the other room.
Kate’s knees gave way and she sank to a crouch. She clasped her hand over her mouth to hold in the gasp of horror as the reality of who she had slept with sank in.
