“No idea, not a local, but whoever she is made a conscious decision to slit her wrists on Lottie’s doorstep,” answers Jonas.
“She?”
“Yep. She. Lottie didn’t know who she was either,” Chris replies
“Jesus Christ, she does not need this shit,” I mumble.
“Oli,” says the sheriff, “I’ll keep you informed of my progress with the identification, someone knows who that poor girl is and why she was here. Lottie has given me some details, including her last words, but I’ll drop by in the morning and get an official statement.”
“Last words?” I ask again feeling like I’m entering some kind of twilight zone, “Lottie actually spoke to her?”
“Yeah, it seems like she couldn’t cope or wouldn’t cope and knew he’d leave her,” says a very unimpressed looking Jonas.
“Fuck, that does not sound good.”
“Gents, I’ll leave you to take care of Charlotte,” says the sheriff whose departure brings a heavy silence on our group.
“I think I’ll keep an eye on things at the Sheriff’s office, sounds like we need to know what they find out about our Jane Doe,” mumbles Jonas. I’m not going to ask how, but I know he’s doing it because he doesn’t like how this feels and that’s not good. If there’s one thing in my life I’ve come to appreciate it’s Jonas and his mad skills, if that man says something is off, you don’t fucking argue.
“I guess this means another girls sleep over. There is no way she should be alone after this. Why the fuck would someone do that shit here, when the girl just lost her family?” says Chris.
“Fucked if I know,” sighs Sonny.
“She’s not staying here tonight, Lottie’s coming home with me.” Even as I hear myself say the words, I can’t believe that I actually did. I don’t do this, I don’t protect people and care for them. I’m usually out for myself and the interests of my business. Lottie knows this, which is why there is no way she’s going to have me anywhere near her.
“Are you sure man? I mean, I know Flo was about to go all Jane Austen on your ass and force you into declaring some formal kind of intention, but I’m not sure you should be fucking around with her feelings right now.”
I snap my head in Sonny’s direction, I can’t believe he just said that to me. Hang on, he actually thinks that I would do that to her. This is worse than I thought.
No, it’s not. This is what my dad thinks about me too.
When did I become this person?
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that to me Sonny, you know me.”
“I do and I’m sorry, but I did say it. You fucking play her now and she’ll break wide open. It won’t be pretty and you’ll never get the chance to put her back together again.”
I notice that Jonas and Chris aren’t jumping to my defence. “You too? You all think this?”
“We just know she’s fragile and you’re not at the top of her bff list, hell you’re probably not even on it,” says Chris.
“OK, I get it. I’m a twat. Tread with caution.”
Jonas smiles at my admission and Chris looks at the floor trying to hide his grin, laughing right now, at the scene of the crime would be inappropriate.
“Good luck man. You’re going to need it. You keep poking a snake with a stick for long enough and they’ll strike back sooner or later. I’d say she’s been producing venom for a while,” says Sonny.
As I enter her house I can hear the others trying to have a conversation with her. Lottie’s lack of response is an obvious sign of the shock she’s in.
This is not good.
I approach the sofa with caution and kneel on the floor in front of her. “Lottie honey, I think it’s best if we get you out of here for a bit. A change of scenery is what you need for a night or two. It will help put what’s happened into some perspective so you can deal with it better. I’m going to take you to mine OK?” I look into her eyes and they are glassy and vacant, it’s the lack of fight and bitch attitude that is the most concerning.
“Neely, can you throw some things in a bag for her please?”
“Sure,” she tells me and leaves the circle of friends still surrounding her. Lottie doesn’t notice this, or, when Dolly whispers, “Do you think we should call the doctor?”
“Not right now, I’ll get her out of here and get her cleaned up. See how she is in a few hours.” I place my hand in Lottie’s and she lets me do it, there is no fighting it off or squeezing it back to acknowledge that she’s even aware of what’s happening. I continue to pull her up and lead her outside with no complaint or drama, placing her in the front of Sonny’s jeep.
“Sonny, I just need to wait for Neely to gather her some things and then it’s back to mine, can you wait with her whilst I go and get the stuff?”
“OK,” he tells me quickly catching on that Lottie is catatonic and I don’t want her to be left alone right now.
I rush back up to the house and grab the bag from Neely. Before I can leave Flo lands in front of me and stays put until I give her all my attention, she looks me deep in my eyes and says, “Did you figure out what sort of person does all the things she’s done yet?”
“Not got time for your riddles, spit it out Flo.”
“She loves you Oli. Now I’ve made you aware of this fact, if you hurt my sister I will dedicate my days to making sure you feel ten times the amount of pain and suffering that she’s been in for a long time.”
I don’t answer her, because I can’t. I’m completely dumbfounded by Flo’s words and her assessment of the situation.
“I’m letting you take her now,” she continues, “Because I believe, deep down inside, you’re a good guy. Please don’t make me regret telling you this because you may be prepared to live a life without her in it, but I’m not and that’s exactly what will happen. Don’t fuck this up and take her away from us all.” Flo turns and heads back to join Neely and Dolly, who are discussing the quickest and easiest way to deal with the horror movie set that Lottie’s place has become.
Sonny is trying to tease Lottie into some conversation when I get back to his truck. I shut away Flo’s grand announcement. I don’t want to think about that.
She’s wrong.
Very wrong.
There is no way Lottie has feelings for me.
No way at all.
It was only ever a mutual arrangement, wasn’t it?
Chapter Seven
It’s pretty much bang on the money to say I’m not coping.
I am absolutely not coping at all.
My parents are dead, a random woman has committed suicide at my house and the icing on the cake is that for the last five nights I’ve been sleeping in Oli’s guest bedroom, even though I have no idea why. My emotions are jumbled up, my insides are screaming in a kind of pain I’ve not felt before and I feel like I just need to beat the shit out of someone or something.
I haven’t really spoken much to anyone, what is there to say?
Oli sat by my side at the police station when I gave my statement, it was the same statement I gave when I found the dying woman. Oli has sat by my side when my friends have visited to check on me too. He’s been there, just there, whenever I’m awake, in fact he’s pretty much glued to my side permanently unless I’m in the bathroom or asleep.
I need space, I can’t breathe, but my friends aren’t keen on letting me have it. I’ve decided that Oli is currently the lesser of the two evils, he doesn’t expect me to talk or encourage me to share and that’s the reason I’ve stayed at his house. Until today, after I’ve buried my parents today I’m going to go home.
The investigation around how the crash happened is still open, but my parents’ bodies have been released so I can lay them to rest. My ice princess has been promoted to ice queen and she is in charge, I’m dreading the whole procession but I know she will get me through this. Then I’m going to take off for a couple of days and get drunk. I’m going to call at Rick’s and see if I can encourage him to spend
some time with me, help me find the new Lottie that came out so easily around him last time.
I never thought I’d be planning the perfect funeral outfit at my age, but I’ve had to, so I’ve selected a simple black Dior shift dress, high black pumps and a wool wrap. My hair is shining and glossy and if I look in the mirror for long enough, I can convince myself that I am coping, that I am fine. Grabbing my sunglasses I make my way to Oli who is in the lounge waiting with his parents. They’ve decided we’re all travelling in a funeral car together.
Even now, the fucking charade is in full effect and continues for the town. I couldn’t be myself even if I wanted to be, there are those around me that expect me to remain dignified and gracious, even now when it’s all I can do to survive minute after minute.
FUCK. THAT.
The first minute that passes, as soon as my parents are in the ground, all bets are off. If I don’t feel like being dignified, I damn well won’t be.
Those minutes passed quicker than I expected and as they passed, they got more and more blurry. In fact, I’m fairly sure I’m not supposed to be giggling now. This is a sombre occasion but a few glasses of JD and Coke at the country club in my empty stomach is having the desired effect, I am approaching the very opposite end of the I’m dignified spectrum and it’s become funny, well to me anyway. If I move my head quick enough, things fade and blur so that I can see two of everything until the world shifts back into focus.
I let Barbara arrange this circus based on the instructions that my parents had left with Davis Hart and she’s done a sterling job of keeping Oli’s mom at bay. She believed that being a devoted friend would entitle her to take over and make it a press worthy spectacle, I don’t think so and I made sure she knew this. “Ha! A fucking circus,” I mumble loudly to myself and carry on giggling. “My perfect parents had the perfect final show and here we are at their favourite place.” I shove my glass in the air, sloshing my drink about in a final toast to them in the heavens for their generosity, “So fucking perfect.”
“Lottie baby, maybe you’ve had enough.” There he is, good old Oli, by my side in public as expected, treating me like I am his fragile...whatever the fuck I am.
“I don’t think so, after all, my mom never had enough when we were here. I think another drink is a perfect tribute, WAITER!” I shout, clicking my fingers or at least trying to click them.
“Maybe I should take you home?”
“I agree, about fucking time, my home would be perfect. I’d say you’ve about covered your duty and obligation.” I may be drunk but I know when I’m being a total bitch and twisting the knife and right now, I really don’t care. It feels good.
“Hey Lottie,” says a collection of blurry moving Neely’s, none of which I can focus on. “How are you holding up chick?”
“Just fucking fab-u-lass,” I reply emphasizing the fabulous like I need to convince them.
“Don’t you think she’d be better at home?” Flo says directly to Oli, like he has some kind of control over me.
“Can’t you see I’m trying, but short of throwing her over my shoulder in front of these people...,” he snaps at her in frustration.
“Don’t fucking talk about me like I’m not here, I can hear you, all of you. Mind you it has been a while since I’ve been thrown about by anyone,” I snigger and waggle my eyebrows suggestively at him. Oli can’t even mask his face enough to hide how he finds that idea utterly ridiculous.
“I know sweetie,” continues Flo, “I really don’t care how smashed you get but I don’t want you to regret this in the morning.”
Just then a flash of something to focus all of my hatred on comes into view.
Claire Michaels.
How apt, his fuck buddy is working on the one day we’re here to give my parents the send off they requested. “Don’t look now Oli, but your bit of rough just clocked on for duty,” I whisper loudly in a fake conspiratorial manner.
“For fuck’s sake Lottie,” he snaps at me angrily. My sisters gather closer, they can sense a showdown possibility from a mile away and it’s the perfect time to vent some of my frustrations.
“No honestly, it’s just like old times, I’ll hang around with the parents whilst you go and fuck her roughly in some staff room. Oopsie, I mean, I’ll keep your parents occupied because I just put mine in the fucking ground.”
Flo, Neely and Dolly all gasp in shock at my crass comment whilst the men attached to the sisterhood all begin to look uneasy. It seems they’ve learned to read the signs of a bitch smack down too.
“Hey Claire, over here. Any chance of a Jack and cock. Oops I mean Coke. Although it seems you’re quite happy to have my share of the cock around here.” I’m really chuckling to myself now and the silence in the gathered crowds of mourners does not deter me in the least. “Apologies, tough day, tough few days. No scratch that, tough few years watching you get the guys you want with a click of your fingers, flash of your tits and a hint of your snatch. Anyway, your man is here and I think it’s safe to say that you don’t need to hide in those store closets when you give him a blow job from now on.”
Claire is stood in front of Oli looking unperturbed by my ranting, after all she’s finally getting what she wants. “Or tell me, was that part of the fun, the whole dirty sex behind closed doors in supposed secret, whilst I was out here like a schmuck keeping watch?”
“Son, you need to take her home. Now.”
“Oh no Mr Hart, I didn’t realize you could hear me, my apologies for ruining this farce, busting the secret wide open, bringing them out of the closet, nailing....” I say to him sarcastically, getting into the swing of things.
“Enough,” Oli finally snaps.
“Mr Hart, my condolences on the loss of your good friends,” Claire says to him.
“What did you just say? Fucking seriously, I pave the way for you to fuck my guy, and yet I don’t get any words or thoughts of fake sympathy. Where is the justice in this world?”
“Oli get her out of here now before this escalates into a physical bitch slapping,” Sonny leans in and says, “You let her carry on and she’s going to hate you just as much as herself in the morning.”
“It’s OK, I can get a cab to my place. You and Claire can hook up back at yours with me gone, actually, have you even fucked her in a bed?”
Claire’s eyes flash in hope which only makes me giggle again. Oli who has clearly had enough wraps his arm around my shoulder and marches me in the direction of the door. I notice my group of friends hustle after us and even hear Dolly muttering that my outburst was a long time coming. I try to delay being forced away from the scene like a naughty school girl by hugging my friends, but it doesn’t last long before Oli puts me in the back of the limo and climbs in beside me, he’s so pissed off he’s vibrating. He doesn’t speak to me all the way back and he also doesn’t take me to my place. Like Groundhog Day, I end up back at his place.
Now I’m out of the country club, I feel deflated. The revelatory rant isn’t having the satisfaction I expected.
After he opens the front door, he hurls his keys at the unit by the front door and immediately starts loosening his neck tie, without saying a word, he turns and walks off to his bedroom. The house is silent until I hear the shower start.
I know it’s now or never and I should use the courage the alcohol has given me and likewise, the excuse of it, should the bad idea that’s forming go horribly wrong.
If I take matters into my own hands, I can finally understand whether it was something I should have done years ago. I can quieten the regret that I always feel for never trying.
Before my brain can get a grip of the craziness, I strip off my clothes in the living room, dumping them in a pile and opt to keep my heels on. I stalk to his bedroom on a mission using bravery called up by the ice queen, until enough confidence is in my system to challenge my inebriation.
I peek through his bedroom door and can’t see him, which means he’s already started his shower, or so I t
hought until I spot him leaning against the sink unit, fully naked and breathing heavily. I knew he was angry and I know now he’s trying to summon up the strength to calm down.
My heels don’t make a sound across the bedroom carpet so it startles both of us when they begin to click across the tiled bathroom floor. That announcement of my arrival whips his head in my direction. “Lottie what the fuck are you doing? Go and put some clothes on?”
I don’t reply, I’m worried that he’ll talk me out of my crazy idea if we strike up a conversation. If he pushes me on this, he’ll succeed in pushing me away.
I step behind him until my body is flush up against his back and we both gasp at the contact of our skin. He’s so tall that his ass sits nestled in my midriff. “I always knew you were beautiful,” I whisper and start to slowly touch the tattoos that bring his body to life, tracing them from his back, over his shoulder and down his chest with my fingers. I look around his huge arms and notice he’s watching me in the bathroom mirror, but his eyes don’t hold my attention for long. They’re drawn to the swollen head of his dick which bobs and jumps as I continue to move my hands along his torso.
Oli doesn’t move to touch me or turn around and face me, his eyes continue to stalk me in our reflection. As I move my hand lower and head further south his breathing becomes labored. I lightly scrape my fingernails through the hair that begins at his stomach until my fingers purposely graze the top of his dick. On the second swipe past he grabs my hand and encourages me to wrap my palm and fingers around its head.
This is what I’ve wanted since I was a teenager, the chance to be me and give myself to the guy I’ve desired but has never really seen the real me.
Oli suddenly takes a huge lungful of air and pulls my hand off him, “This isn’t right. You’re too emotional and not thinking straight.”
It’s like a bucket of ice cold water is thrown over me and it’s the rejection I always knew I’d get if I told him how I felt about him. I was right to keep my feelings under the radar, right to let him make the first move I’ve proved that I have nothing to regret, he was always going to reject me.
Fated Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 3) Page 6
