“Oliver, are you there?”
“I’m here.”
“Good. Now listen to me, I don’t know what’s going on, she’s… lost, it’s like she’s crumbling from the inside out. I was worried that she was doing something drastic and now I’m convinced she is, especially since it seems you have no idea what she’s doing either.”
“Annie, I didn’t mean to worry you, I’ll track her down and get to the bottom of this, but before I do I have a business proposal for you, do you have a free moment to talk to me?”
“Of course, fire away.”
Making the most of my fucked up phone call, I used the next hour to calm down and share my plan and vision, finding Annie was completely in favor of what I was suggesting. I think, knowing someone was planning for the future, was the relief she needed to carry on with her life at a different, slower pace. I was beyond relieved that she approved and was more than pleased that I could offer her some piece of mind too. Ending the phone call was bittersweet though, it left me with a whole fuck load of questions that only one person could answer.
And trust me, these answers that I was going to get out of Lottie had better be good, no, not good, fucking stunning. Not only did she have to explain why she was in town with Carter and I didn’t know, she’d best have a fucking great reason for selling up and planning to leave without telling me.
No, it was more than that. I wanted fucking answers about why she’d cut me out of her life, stopped all communications and was acting like the decisions she was making weren’t ones we should have been making together.
Chapter Thirty Three
I’d wimped out on not telling at least two of my girls that I was leaving for pastures new.
I found it strange that Oli had only talked to Jonas about us and that no one else knew about our break up drama. I was still deciding on whether I was too embarrassed or disappointed with it all to share.
I arrived at my parents’ home and knew the last room was going to be a crippler.
Their most private space, their bedroom.
The main house was as I’d left it last time with piles in all rooms ready for dispatch. I’d made a phone call on my way over to rent a storage unit for some of the things I’d planned to keep, there was no way I’d find room for all the stuff once I got to Sunnyside. The place was eerily quiet, the staff were no longer Groves employees and had left a while ago. The house perfectly represented how I felt inside, empty and selling it was the right thing to do. The place needed the warmth a family could bring to it and deserved to be packed out with the noise of children and laughter.
I didn’t wander round the rooms I’d already sorted, it seemed pointless, this was about making way for the future, not reliving the past, so I headed straight for their master suite. I made a pact that I would always remember how happy I was here as a young girl, for a huge chunk of my life it was a fairy tale, it was real and I lived in a palace like a princess. My parents adored me and I was the centre of attention for the two of them, we were a team who could take on anything and work it to our advantage. Back then it was innocent enough to start with, but with a little knowledge and understanding, the real world opens up and my, how times change.
Finally opening the door I was greeted by a sensory assault, the room had been left untouched. The smell of perfumes, cologne and linen invaded my nose reminding me of familiar things. I could hear the birds in the trees outside competing with the dribbling waterfall that led into the pool area. The room looked like they’d just left in a hurry for the day, with clothes lying around and the odd drawer not closed properly. My mind was working overtime and making things feel creepy, I knew they were gone but this room still felt inhabited.
I’d tried to approach this room differently, I wanted to make it as quick and easy as possible, and so I’d asked for storage boxes to be left ready for me in the hallway after my last visit. I was hoping it was a matter of opening drawers and scooping the contents in. I’d decided I was saving no clothes as memorial items, especially my mother’s, I was viewing them less like clothes and more like disguises. Where I used to dress to portray a life I had but really didn’t want, my mom used to dress to hide the real life she was living. In hindsight, both ideals were equally unnecessary and if we had just been brave enough to embrace the truth and live free things would have been so much easier
Mom had a fair selection of jewelry, many pretty pieces as well as some expensive items, my original plan to dump the lot was foolish. There was some serious cash value to them and in the end I decided to pack them for storage until I could figure out what the best course of action could be.
There were a few items of my father’s accessories that I knew I wanted to keep, the watch he wore at my graduation and some cufflinks that had been passed through the generations of his family. Everything else I was boxing up placing in storage for Carter to look at when he was a bit older, again all of the clothes were destined for goodwill.
“Helllllooo….Lottie?”
“Up here, “I shouted back, shit, time had really gotten away from me. If Flo was here that meant school was over and Carter could be outstaying his welcome with Dolly.
“Girl, what are you doing? Are you OK to be doing this by yourself, and by that, I mean opening this very huge memory mountain?”
“I was really dreading it, but now I feel kind of over it. Not my parents, I mean just the house clearance thing and I’m using the trash it, store it or donate it method that’s worked for the rest of the house. I’m nearly done, just the bathroom to attack.”
“Can I help with that?” Flo stood up deciding she was going to help whether I gave her a yes response or not.
“Sure, the roll of trash bags is over there, just dump the lot.”
“I’m trashing it all?”
“Yes please,” I confirmed and went back to the last set of drawers, I was amazed to find more sentimental photo albums which were placed in the storage pile.
“Feel like talking yet?” Flo asked, pretending to be all sweet and sugary once she reappeared from the bathroom.
“You obviously want me to talk about something, just come out and say it,” I replied, people were always trying to lull me into opening up, this time I wanted a hint of what kind of information she was after. I was doing well to contain all the hurt about Oli inside, if she tricked me into spilling I could crack wide open.
“I’ve seen Oli about, you know, around and he’s been muttering that he can never get hold of you.” And there it was, even when we weren’t a couple, I was still being forced to think about him, talk about him and dredge up how he’d left me.
“Oh,” I muttered, maintaining the focus on my task, Flo hates silences so I know she’ll continue.
“I mean it’s not like there is no cell service at Sunnyside. I know this because we’ve talked, you’ve also talked and texted with the others. So, why not Oli?”
“Seriously, what is there left to say?”
“I may be wrong seeing as I’m not in a relationship, but to actually call it one and to make it work, it usually means you have to communicate on a fairly regular basis.”
“You’re right Flo, you are not in a relationship,” I snapped back at her and immediately regretted it when I saw the sadness of being reminded about it on her face. “Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth and new Lottie speaks the truth.”
“Yeah and I’m kind of understanding that more often than not the truth is just as painful as being kept in the dark. It’s really a no win situation.”
Flo sits beside me and purposely closes the flaps on the box I’m packing, she wants my attention and I love that she cares about my happiness. “Talk to me Lottie, you’ve been through a lot and I always worry that the next head fuck will be the one that finally breaks you.”
I breathe deep and look at her face, she’s really pretty and a good friend, she doesn’t deserve to be the one that always worries about
me, especially when I thought someone else had picked up that role. “I’ve spent most of my life being someone I’m not and you girls were the only ones to see through it and stick by me. Anyone else was always using my friendship for what it could do for them.”
“Yeah, I know that, but that’s over.”
“It took me so long to find me and to do that I had to lose people. I gave up on winning Oli, my mom and dad died so suddenly that I was forced to find the real me so I could deal with it all, because I knew there was no way the old selfish Lottie would have coped.”
Flo smiles at me and nods in agreement, “Our stories are never straightforward and they’re full of plot twists, drama and villains. Unfortunately, some people suffer more than others.”
“I finally thought I was heading in the right direction Flo. I’d found a little boy who was as lost as me and needed me. When I met him I knew I’d move all obstacles to keep him from feeling as lost as I did for as long as I did. And Oli, well you know that story, we weren’t real, then we were and now we’re…nothing, whatever, sometimes you have to set free the things you love.” There was no point hashing over the finer details of that, to be nothing again is as disappointing as it is upsetting. “How many times do you have to pick yourself up, reinvent yourself or give yourself a pep talk to make it all worthwhile, worth bothering with?”
“As many times as it takes, because the alternative sucks. I’m sure sitting in this place isn’t helping you, but you are surrounded by people who love and adore you, no matter what you choose to do with your life.”
I look at her through misty eyes and feel like she’s giving me courage, strength and approval to make this life change. “Thank you, I needed to know someone would be on my side. That someone appreciates the reason I’m making the decisions I have to make.”
“What?”
“Understanding. That you understand what I have to do and that you know what needs to happen to pick myself up and start again. To start my new life.”
“Come on,” she tells me, squeezing my hands in hers, “Lets finish up and go see that cutie pie brother of yours. Dolly text to say he was with them and doing a sterling job of avoiding nail polish, hair bobbles and princess dress up play.”
I burst out laughing, that sounds about right. I do a final check over the post it notes stuck to the boxes. Tomorrow I’ll make the trip to the storage unit as well as getting rid of the remaining stuff. By that time I’m hoping all the paperwork will be in place to finally put this place and my home on the realtor market.
It’s time to close the door on Hawkstown and look forward to the future.
When I arrive at Dolly’s I find it deserted and a note taped to the door telling me that they’ve gone to Chris and Neely’s for farm fun. I suddenly felt more at ease with telling the others now, I’d get it done in one go and with Flo understanding where I was coming from, I could only hope that Dolly and Neely would be as supportive.
Flo and I walked across the back fields as I was mentally preparing myself to deal with them. Dolly and Neely were playing with the twins and Sonny and Jonas were soaking up the sun with a beer on the decking.
“Hey, has he been OK? Where is he?” I asked all of them in general.
“Um, yeah, he’s with Chris at the stables, but are you OK?” Dolly asked me oddly.
“Yeah, it was painful, but I got there. Can I talk to you all for a moment before Carter comes back?”
“Lottie…” Neely interrupted.
“Wait, no, let me get this out first. I wanted to tell you all earlier and I’m sorry I didn’t. I was having a chicken shit moment, but anyway that’s not important. It’s meant so much that you guys have always had my back and been here for me, never more so than recently. It’s going to be hard and I’m going to miss you all like you wouldn’t believe, but leaving is the right thing for both Carter and I.”
“What?” they all bark, including Flo.
“I need to give Carter a life he deserves and would have had if his mother and father were still here. I need to help Annie, it’s time someone gave her the support she’s always given others and I need… I need to move on and finally let Oli go. I need to get over him because being where he is will make that harder and if I have to see him around town when I can’t have him and with another woman, well… I can’t cope with that right now.”
I look at my friends. Flo looks puzzled, which I find odd, she’s supposed to be on board with this already. Neely and Dolly are passing looks between each other and Jonas and Sonny are nervously looking towards the kitchen door.
“Well someone say something,” I demand.
“What the fuck do you mean it’s the right thing for you and Carter? And that you’re finally letting me go? And why the fuck would I be with other women?”
Oli.
Shit, he wasn’t supposed to be here.
“I asked you some questions and whilst you’re at it, mind telling me why your house is up for sale and I don’t know about that either?”
“Oli,” I begin quietly, “Please, I don’t think we need to do this again.”
“Do fucking what?” he says menacingly in confusion.
“This, you, me. Drag that up again, you wanted out and I let you have it.”
“Seriously Lottie,” he begins, marching in my direction and all my friends begin to shout at once.
Their voices become a nuisance prodding and poking at my ears until I can’t bear to listen to them anymore. “Shut the fuck up! It’s my life and really Flo, an hour ago you were supporting me, encouraging me to pick myself up and start again. And you,” I stab my fingers in Oli’s direction, “You want me to hang around and be what, friends, I don’t fucking think so. That ship sailed because we have different ideas about what friendships look like.”
“Lottie honey, I had no idea that you meant you were going to be leaving us. I mean if you really wanted to make a move to Thornton Grove, I’d support you, but you haven’t mentioned this before and we’ve talked lots over the last few weeks,” she tells me.
“Flo, shut the fuck up,” Oli barks at her.
“Hey,” Sonny then shouts, “Don’t take it out on her because you still haven’t got your shit together.”
Oli glares at Sonny and then pins me with a look, “This ridiculous conversation is over, you’re not moving, but we’ll talk about that later. First I want to know why you think I want to be friends and I’m warning you Lottie, your answer had better be really fucking amazing.”
Now I’m really confused.
Flo agreed, she supported me and approved that I had to start over to move forward again.
Oli’s though, the pressing questions being asked by the rugged, angry handsome man in front of me are mind boggling. He dumped me and couldn’t run fast enough when I gave him the opportunity and there is no fucking way I misread that.
Chapter Thirty Four
*****
Oli
I send a quick prayer of thanks to the heavens when I hear the clip clop of horse hooves, I’m more than thankful that Carter is on that horse with Chris because I don’t want him to see the involuntary explosion that I can feel building inside me.
“Lottie! Lottie!” He shouts excitedly, “Look at me, I’m riding Barney with Chris.”
“Hey dude, that looks like fun,” she tells him, and it does. They’ve even managed to find a spot for GI Joe on the saddle.
“It is, it is!”
“Chris,” I shout,” Fancy taking Carter for that trip on the tractor you promised him?”
“Yes?” he replies warily, I can see he’s confused and trying to read between the lines of what he’s interrupted. Neely, thank God, jumps in to help, “Of course he does, in fact, how about we hook up the trailer and take a real farm ride, a big long one?”
Carter’s little face nearly explodes with excitement again and if it wasn’t for the utter ridiculousness leaving Lottie’s mouth, I’d feel completely set on my future plans because this boy enjo
ys adventure. But I can’t focus on that now, “Any chance you can give Lottie and me some time. I need to talk some sense into my woman.” She goes to protest until I send her the mother of all angry glares, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”
The gang, including Carter and the twins are all hustled towards the barn housing the tractor and trailer and before Lottie can make a getaway I take her by the arm and start to move, “truck, now.”
“Oli, this is…”
“Can you sense my really bad mood? I am fairly sure you can, which begs the question of why you insist on pissing me off further by keeping up this stupid fucking act. We are going to get in my truck and I’m going to drive us to mine where you can put right this ridiculousness you’ve started.” I look at her, I swear to God if she resists again I will throw her over my shoulder and drag her ass out of here. “Sensible move Lottie.”
As soon as she’s buckled into the passenger seat, I pull away like I’m racing away from a bank heist and I can see her gripping the sides of the seat in fear. If I could talk myself into calming down I’d probably ease off the gas pedal and stop scaring her.
But I can’t, so fuck that.
I drive past her house and I see the shock register when she sees the for sale board at the front. “Exactly, imagine how I felt when I saw it?” Showing further acceptance of this situation, she doesn’t respond to my comment.
Showing some restraint when I get to my house, I hold her car door open and then usher her to the front door, I want to make sure she doesn’t think there is a chance to escape. Once inside, I slam the door and turn to face her, “Talk. Now.”
Defiance over shadows her facial features and her body language reacts as I expected. Throwing her hands to her hips, I see the spirited woman I love and even though I’m raging, I can’t help but feel my cock stir to life. Angry sex has always been my thing.
“Who the fuck do you think you are Oliver Hart? Since when does taking the out I gave you, give you the right to get involved in decisions I make?” Lottie must sense my utter disbelief and confusion, but chooses to continue, “Don’t stand there pretending not to know what was going on. You were desperate to get home and get back to your fuckabout lifestyle. All those words you said to me, they were just that, fucking words. You realized you’d got too involved.”
Fated Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 3) Page 24
