I know how much your relationship with Nicky and her relationship with you will mean for both of you, all of us. She’s very angry now. She needs to know why you kept Bobby’s whereabouts a secret. She needs you to explain why you helped the Conrads. She may not like what you tell her, but she needs to know and you have to tell her. If you don’t you may lose her forever.”
“Don’t you want to know the reason?”
“No not really. If you and Nicky think I need to know fine. But that’s your call.”
“Thank you, but I’m afraid to tell Nicky.”
“Afraid to tell Nicky what?”
“That Bob Conrad and I had a special relationship.”
I stared at Miller and asked, “What does that mean?”
He looked away and said, “We had a sexual relationship.”
His pain and shame was so palpable I could feel it. My initial reaction to Miller’s confession was a mixture of confusion and sympathy. Miller had always projected as super macho. Now I realized that my father-in-law was just like everyone else a being with failings, contradictions and secrets.
“Major I think you need to tell Nicky.”
“Can I tell you about it first?”
Miller told me it had started years ago, when he and Conrad were teenagers. They were unlikely friends, and Miller was flattered that the son of the most prominent family in Wilkes-Barre wanted a friendship with him. One night they raided Conrad’s father’s liquor cabinet and Miller woke up the next morning naked in Conrad’s bed.
Conrad had been the aggressor in the relationship. Miller who had no previous sexual experience of any kind did not know what had happened. He was desperate to maintain the friendship so he went along, even though he knew it was wrong. The incident in which Miller saved Conrad from the attack by the jilted boyfriend and his banishment to the service ended the affair, or so Miller believed. However, years later Conrad used their encounters as leverage to keep Miller in line.
“Bernie, I’m so ashamed of what happened. I couldn’t tell Nicky that her father is not the man I led her to believe I was.”
“Nicky’s your daughter, she’ll understand. She loves you. You need to tell her.”
The older man shook his head and sighed. “I can’t,” and walked away.
“That was a long walk with Toto,” Nicky said when I entered the apartment.
“Well, actually I ran into your father. He wanted to talk.”
“About what?”
“About why he kept Bobby’s whereabouts a secret.”
“Oh, and what did he tell you?”
And then I told her.
Nicky stared at me in disbelief. “This can’t be true.”
I took her in his arms and said, “It is. You need to reach out to him. He’s afraid he will lose you forever; that you will never forgive him for being something less than he led you to think he was. He knows his failure to reunite you with Bobby was indefensible. He just doesn’t know what to do.”
She stared at me and sighed, “Does he really think I’m that shallow? That knowing this would make a difference to me?”
Later that night I picked up the phone and placed the call. “Dad, it’s Bernie,” I had decided to follow my own advice and reach out to my father.
“No, everything is fine. I just wanted to ask your advice about the campaign…”
Epilogue
I got off the Amtrak Keystone from Washington, D.C. at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia. The platform was crowded with departing passengers trying to get access to the stairway that lead to the main floor. I noticed a well-dressed young man standing next to me. He looked vaguely familiar.
“Congressman Green coming home for the weekend,” he asked.
“Yes I am. Have we met before?”
“Not formally, but our paths have crossed on occasion,” he replied.
I extended my hand and said, “Bernie Green, I’m glad to meet you.”
He shook my hand and replied, “I’m Dan Gross.”
I shook my head and smiled.
THE END
Acknowledgements
First, my sincere thanks to everyone who assisted in the research, reading, editing, promotion and publication of this novel. Especially, my Assistant Margaret McGrath, whose patience in dealing with my chronic computer-challenge syndrome saved me on numerous occasions from wiping out my entire manuscript.
In both my novels, I’ve called on friends and acquaintances to assist me with technical details and insights on the various subjects touched upon in the stories. Thanks to Bill Ross and Howard Gensler of the Newspaper Guild of Greater Philadelphia, for their journalistic expertise. And thanks to Anne Johnson Kram, Carole Zatz and Susan Kroungold for reading early drafts of book and their helpful criticism. If there are any errors of fact or procedure regarding any of the various subjects and institutions included in the story, they are a result of either my misunderstanding, or taking literary liberties to hopefully enhance the novel.
Many thanks to Mark Kram, Jr., author of ‘Like Any Normal Day’, winner of the 2013 PEN/ESPEN Award for Literary Sports Writing, for the generosity of his time and encouragement to this novice writer. Special thanks to the real Dan Gross, former gossip columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News, who allowed me to borrow his persona for this book. The real Dan is much cooler than his literary avatar.
Thanks to my son Matt, whose business savvy and advice on marketing, and never ending determination not to let me make a rash decision on the publication and promotion of the book. Thanks to my son Ben whose eye catching, artistic photographs grace the covers of both Manayunk and The Pa-la-ti-shan, and whose back page photograph of me, makes me look like a real author! I am so proud of both of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship and love and support.
Last, to Marilyn, my wonderful wife of 44 years and best friend, whose wisdom, patience and love gives me the strength to carry on. You are the heroine of my life story!
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or locales, is entirely coincidental.
About the author
Neal Goldstein was born and raised in Philadelphia. He lives with his wife in Haverford, Pennsylvania. A graduate of Central High School, Temple University and Temple University School of Law, he currently practices law in Philadelphia representing labor unions and employee benefit plans. He is also the author of Murder and Mayhem in Manayunk.
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