"I'd tell you the whole story if I knew it. I was put into the system as a really young kid. Bounced around from family to family all over the state. Lived in west Texas, east Texas, pretty much everywhere."
Amelia squeezed his hand and creased her brow. "You never met your real parents?"
"No. I've heard a few things, but I don't know what's true. One of my many social workers I had told me they were in prison. Like I said though, I don't know if it's true." He saw the concerned look on her face. "I'm not talking about it for sympathy, so don't feel bad for me, Amelia. I don't really know anything different."
"It's just hard for me to understand. I've always had family around. My mom died like fifteen years ago, but I still had my dad and of course, now I have Noah. It's an unknown world to me."
Nick looked down into her blue eyes. "I guess that's why I really care for you guys. You've let me in like I've been with your family for years. I never felt as welcomed as I do here than I did with any of the foster homes I stayed at. It really means something to me."
"Why'd they have you move around so much?"
"Different reasons. I'd clash with the foster parents. I'd clash with the other kids. I'd get into some kind of trouble. It was always something I apparently did. I learned to never get attached. Even at five, I remember knowing that it was all temporary. At eighteen I joined the army and never looked back. It was my only way to get out." He sank down and kissed her, taking her mouth hard against his. Amelia wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth and down her neck. Stopping, he brushed some of her hair from her face and smiled. "I haven't told many people about all of that. Most don't give a shit. But you look like you really care."
She nodded. "I do care. You've seen more stuff in your life than most. And yet you still are a good man."
Nick scoffed. "I've got you fooled." If she only knew about his PTSD and flashbacks. If she only knew about the men he had killed at war. He felt his heart begin to race and closed his eyes to try to brush the thought aside. He didn't want his issues to ruin the night he had planned.
"You've been amazing to my family, and especially to me. Don't you ever think differently." She put her index finger on his lip. "It sure is hot out here. What do you say we go for a dip?"
Nick was thankful for the subject change. He was on the brink of a meltdown and Amelia saved him without even realizing it. "No swimsuits? No problem."
Sitting up, he helped Amelia pull her shirt over her head. Taking his time, he admired her body as her bra slipped over her erect nipples. Reaching out, he cupped one of her breasts, but she slapped his hand away. "No sir. Not yet. Let me help you get your shirt off."
They threw their clothes in a pile on the tailgate and slowly walked to the edge of the water. Dipping his foot in, the water was warm, but refreshing. Edging in, he grabbed her hand, pulling her in with him. The water wasn't too deep, only coming up to their chests at the deepest. Pulling her in, he explored her as they splashed around. He couldn't keep his hands off of her and his kisses went from her lips, to her ears, down her neck, and back up to her lips where they didn't break free.
Walking across the pond, he led her to the far edge that was lined with a hill and some large rocks. Pushing her back, he found leverage against a boulder with a smooth side, both of them still submerged in the water. Grabbing her arms, he grasped both of her wrists together, keeping them above her head as his other hand explored between her legs. The water provided resistance and he admired her as she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip from the pleasure he was giving her.
"You ever make love in a pond before?" he asked, still restraining her arms, giving him a decent view of her breasts and nipples that were peeking out from the surface of the water. He positioned himself at her entrance, only inserting the tip, waiting on her answer. He wasn't sure if he could wait on her. He was ready to take her.
"No," she replied between pants, and Nick felt her hips rise to try to meet him.
"Me either."
Slipping inside, he pushed as deep as he could when he felt her legs wrap around him, tightening as he shoved in, pushing her back against the rock. He feared that it hurt her, but she cried out for more. The water felt like suction, so Nick had to thrust harder than usual. Her breasts bounced up and down, and with her entire upper body exposed to him, he took in the amazing view. He continued to drive up between her legs, feeling her walls contort and fit around him.
She arched her back and moaned loud enough that it echoed off of the nearby trees, and within seconds he was with her, finishing deep inside of her. Releasing her arms, he rested his head on hers, feeling a chill as her fingers ran through his hair. She kept her legs around him, even after he pulled out, neither willing to let go of each other. Looking into her eyes, he stared at her for awhile, both finally able to get their breathing under control.
"You thanked me earlier at the truck, Amelia." He swiped her wet hair from her forehead, each still lying against the rock.
"And I meant it."
"I should be thanking you."
She ran her thumb over his mouth and kissed his forehead. "Thanking me for what?"
"I never thought love was real until I met you."
Amelia smiled and kissed him. It was starting to get cool, but Nick still did not want to let her go. This felt so right. Everything was perfect. Even the worry about the ranch troubles had faded, and he didn’t want to bring them up. Maybe her ex was just talking. Maybe he was just trying to make her look bad. None of that mattered at that moment. He was with Amelia, the woman he was falling for.
“What are you thinking about?” Amelia asked, smoothing her fingers down his cheek.
“Lot’s of things,” Nick replied as he rested his forehead against hers again. The water sloshed around them. “Stay with me tonight?”
“Of course. I can get up early and get back to the house before Noah and Dad get up.”
They both climbed out of the water and grabbed their clothes. Nick couldn’t help but laugh at the trail they had left from the truck to the edge of the water. Picking up her bra, he twirled it on his finger before he said, “I think this is yours.”
Amelia swiped it away and giggled. “It’s like we’re two lovesick teenagers or something.”
Nick stopped at the truck before climbing in, grabbing her hand. Though he wasn’t sure it was the appropriate time, it was something that had been weighing on his mind long before any other concern. Kissing her palm, he forced a smile.
“You mentioned Noah and your dad. When did you wanna tell them about us?”
Amelia arched her eyebrow and leaned against the truck. A furrowed brow replaced her cheerful smile as she thought about his question. Nick was hoping it wasn’t that complicated of a question, but the more time it took for her to answer, the more he realized there was more riding on the situation than telling them she was now seeing the ranch hand.
“I’m not meaning to put you on the spot or nothing. I was just sort of wondering, you know?”
She nodded and brushed back her hair. Her clothes hung against her damp body and it took everything Nick had to not get distracted by her beauty. This was a serious thing they had to talk about to progress the relationship. Now he debated on if he should’ve waited.
“Well, Nick, what news should I tell them about us?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not sure where we stand. We sort of hopped right to sleeping with each other without really talking about it. I was always scared to ask in fear of seeming too clingy, but now that you brought it up, I think we need to, you know, not put a label on it, but clarify what this is that we have going.”
Nick let out a deep breath. He had been with lots of women, but most never got to the point of discussing a relationship. He had commitment issues in the past, but with Amelia, all of those fears weren’t there. He had never felt more certain about anything. His worry was that she might not feel the same. Rejection was har
d. How horrible would it be if she rejected him and he still had to work with her?
To hell with it. How would he know if he didn’t try? “I want a relationship, Amelia.”
Her creased brow relaxed and she smiled again. “Me too, Nick.”
Leaning in, he cupped the back of her head and kissed her deeper than he ever had. Pushing her body against the cab of the truck, he tasted her, took her in, and felt her amazing body against his. She pulled away first, looking deep in his eyes.
Breaking the silence, Nick said, “Will you be my girlfriend, Amelia?”
She laughed so loud that it echoed against the night sky. “Of course, Nick. That’s so adorable.”
“You did mention being love sick teenagers. I figured I’d live up to the comparison by asking you that way.”
“As for Noah and my dad. I’m honestly not sure what to expect with that. Noah is still young. He can adjust, but he still has somewhat of a good view of his father, though he is starting to see how he really is. He really seems to like you.”
“And your dad?” Nick asked. From his experience, dads always had a hard time with the men their daughter dated. He wasn’t a dad yet, but he got why it was that way. Had he proved enough to Mr. Tucker to show that his daughter was in good hands?
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He just worries about me because of my ex. I’m sure daddy sees you’re nothing like him. He’ll just want me to tread lightly.”
Nick opened the door to the truck and let her climb in first. Putting it in gear, he looked back to her, glad that they had shared such an amazing evening. “You tell them whenever you’re ready, Amelia. You know what’s right for your family.”
“It’ll be soon, Nick. Now that I know we’re not just some fling, I’m more open to letting more people know. I can’t let Noah’s heart get broken again. I can’t let daddy go through the pain we felt with my divorce.”
“I’ll never break your heart, Amelia, I promise.” Despite the fact that he never made promises he couldn’t keep, it terrified him. The smile on her face at that moment would be his motivation to stay true to what he had just said to the first woman he ever truly loved.
Chapter Eleven
Nick’s bed was possibly the warmest and safest place that Amelia had been in a long time. After a quick shower, she snuggled up next to him, wearing one of his shirts that served as a nightgown for her. She hugged him, feeling his smooth skin and his muscular chest. She felt his body relax under the warm blankets. He smelled so good – whatever soap he used was musky and the scent alone was enough to turn her on again. She was so tired that she could fall asleep at any second.
Turning over, Nick faced her. He ran his fingers through her wet hair and traced her jaw line. “Seeing you skinny dip was amazing, but seeing you in my shirt is just downright sexy.” His warm breath tickled her neck as he nipped at her collarbone.
“Being in your bed is sexy. I might have to trade with you. I’ve never been this relaxed in mine.”
He arched his thick eyebrow and a boyish expression flashed on his rugged features. She could stare at him all day and be satisfied. “Well, it’s a no brainer why your bed hasn’t been all that great,” he said as his hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer.
“And why is that?”
“I wasn’t there.” His green eyes were bright, even in the dimly lit room.
“We’ll have to do something about that, won’t we, Nick?”
She fanned her fingers through his soft hair and he shivered from her touch. His lips were so plump as she pressed hers against him. She gently bit down on his bottom lip and he moaned from it.
Pulling away, he reached toward the nightstand and flicked the lamp off. “Thank you for tonight, Amelia. I needed this.” They remained locked in each other’s arms, and she was certain he’d be asleep in no time.
“Me too, Nick. I’m glad this is happening.”
He didn’t respond and she felt his breathing grow deeper. His body was motionless, and a small snore escaped his nose. She buried her face in his chest, taking every bit of that moment in. His scent, his silky skin, his strong arms that continued to hold her tight, and the fact that she could officially call Nick Miller hers. This wasn’t a fling like she had feared it would be when it first started. She wasn’t just some other woman he could sleep with. His intentions were made and for the first time in a long time, they matched what she wanted.
She felt her body relax into the mattress. All of the worries she had been dealing with had faded, at least at that moment. How would Nick take news of the ranch financial problems and the loan shark? He didn’t deserve to be dragged into it. She’d have to tell him soon, but feared that would change the status of their relationship. Would he be the type of man to leave? He’d likely stay and help, but she didn’t want to put that on him. He already had dealt with John, and she was amazed that he was managing fine with the injuries from the fight. His black eye was obvious, but she had forgotten about his sore ribs. Either they were healing fast or he was good at hiding the pain.
Nick shifted in bed, letting out a low murmur before being still again. She smiled at what she could see of him in the dark. He was handsome, but at that moment, dead asleep, he was adorable. She admired him a few more seconds before she finally slowed her mind down enough to doze. Within a few more seconds, she drifted off into a deep sleep.
“Stop! I’m coming to get you! Stay there, Johnson!”
Amelia rolled over, jolting out of sleep at the sound of Nick’s voice. Leaning on her elbow, she squinted to check on him. He was still asleep, but was sweating and raising his arms, as if he was shielding himself from something. Was the poor guy having a nightmare? She wondered if she should wake him. She always heard that doing that was the worst thing for someone, but he looked distressed.
“Take cover!”
His legs kicked out and his body tightened, and he quickly sat up, his eyes shooting open. Nick looked right at her, but from the expression on his face, it was evident that he was confused. Did he not know who she was?
“Nick? It’s me, Amelia. Are you okay?” She reached out to touch his arm, but he quickly pulled it away. “You were having a dream. Are you awake now?”
Blinking, he finally spoke, “Oh my God.” He raked his hand through his hair and looked away, obviously embarrassed about what just happened.
“Are you okay?” Amelia asked again, this time, making contact with his back. He shivered under her fingers. “Do you want me to leave?” She wasn’t sure what was going on. He suddenly clammed up, not even able to look at her. Was she making it worse? She got off the bed and began to gather her clothes, hoping he’d stop her.
“I’m sorry, Amelia. You don’t have to go.” Nick spoke quietly, but she was happy to hear his voice.
Dropping her shirt back onto the pile, she found his and pulled it over her head, taking in the musky cologne still in the fabric. Sitting next to him, she clasped her fingers in his. “I can if you want me to.”
He shook his head and clamped down on her hand, his palms clammy. “I want you to stay. I was hoping you’d never have to witness that.” He forced a smile and looked down at the floor. “What all did you hear?”
“Something about Johnson. You were pretty flustered.”
Nick nodded and sighed. “Not very many people know this, but I dream a lot about some shit that happened over there in Iraq. I don’t say much about it, but every now and then, it sneaks up on me out of nowhere.”
Reaching out, she fanned her fingers through his moist hair. He was so vulnerable, like a kid in trouble, and all she wanted to do was make sure she was there for him. It pained her to see him this way. He had done everything to be here for her and her and her family. Hopefully he’d lean on her.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do,” she replied. She had heard about PTSD being prominent in veterans coming back from combat zones, but had never experienced it first hand. W
as this what Nick had? She wouldn’t dare suggest it to him, since it was such a touchy subject, but it felt like it.
“Johnson was a guy in my company. He got sidetracked. Part of their defense over there is using children to pull us away from our missions. Johnson saw a bomb strapped to one. Next thing I know, I’m too late in saving him.” He paused as he swiped his hand over the back of his neck. “One of the many casualties I witnessed, but the main one that haunts me. He was a private first class. It was his first tour, right out of boot camp and AIT. Proud to wear the uniform. Ready to serve his country. He didn’t make it four weeks over there.”
“That’s awful, Nick, but at least he died doing what he was proud of. He did serve the country. That’s a straight ticket to heaven.”
He scoffed and released Amelia’s hand as he stood up and walked to the window. “And what about guys who make it out? Guys like me who do tons of killing, but for some reason, are spared to come back to the states and can’t find work?”
Amelia joined him at the window, eyeing him as the light from the moon lit up the room. He was obviously hurting, and she wondered how long he had kept this all bottled up inside. She should feel special that he was opening up to her. “You were supposed to make it back. That was all in your plan.”
“But not Johnson’s.”
Amelia wasn’t sure if he was asking or if it was a statement, and she didn’t want to get religious with him. “You made it back here so we could find each other. You’re helping with this ranch. I know I can’t pay you what you deserve, but I’m so glad that I’ve found you. You’ve been my saving grace, Nick, and don’t think any differently.”
He turned to face her, his gaze intense. The anger he was once feeling was replace with a smoldering hunger. “You’ve been mine too, Amelia. You should’ve never had to see what just happened. I’ve been good at keeping it to myself.”
Her Lifeline: (A Romantic Suspense) Page 10
