by Alexis Anne
I rolled my eyes but secretly loved him for it. “Just tell me if it’s Lonnie.”
I was waiting for my agent to call with word on my next project. Or at least what I hoped would be my next one. I scheduled a big blockbuster part to follow my four grueling months of shooting an overly artsy piece in the hopes they would balance each other out. A little street cred for my acting, a little box office shine for my name.
But then my family drama happened and suddenly the studio was no longer interested in working with a liability with questionable talent, like me. Thank goodness for Ted. His production company was just beginning casting on their epic Western family saga and since he had pull, he’d pushed my name to the top of the list for the lead.
“It’s not Lonnie,” he said, turning the phone over and setting it on the table furthest from me—a clear sign the message was not good.
My stomach knotted.
“My sister?” Elizabeth was in the middle of globetrotting with her Formula 1 engineer husband.
“Edita.”
My lawyer. “What is it now?”
“Nothing you need to worry about. She’s just updating you on the state of the lawsuit and—” he glared at my phone as it vibrated a second time. “And the current headlines. All things that can wait. Go get dressed and I’ll give Edita a call letting her know you’re going offline for the rest of the trip. Then I’m putting it in airplane mode. You can have it back for your date if you promise to only turn on the cell service in case of emergency.”
I wrinkled my nose. I really wanted to know what was going on so I could manage it, but if there was anything I’d learned on this trip, it was that I wasn’t actually managing any of it. I was worrying and watching and worrying some more. So I clasped my itchy fingers and pushed my anxiety into the background. “No. You keep it. He’s taking me to the Starboard. It will be very public and if I’m worried I’ll have security walk me back.”
Ted scowled at me but agreed. “Fine. I’ll have them check on you in a couple of hours as long as you promise to have fun. You do remember how, right?”
I’d become so focused on breaking out of the box Hollywood had put me in that I think I’d forgotten what it was like to throw caution to the wind and feel . . . free.
Because that was what it really was. I didn’t feel free to be anything other than the super professional, hard working, serious actress I wanted them to see me as. One misplaced photograph, one word misunderstood, and everything I’d been working for was out the window.
That was how Hollywood worked.
So I watched everything I said, never partied, always kept my game face on. It was fucking exhausting. It was also incredibly limiting. I didn’t feel free to be myself anymore—because Lily Lawrence was an image, not a person.
“I will have fun tonight,” I promised. “Wait . . . are you trying to get rid of me so you can harass that poor woman without my interference?”
He chuckled. “No Princess. I miss seeing you smile and I know you’re going to get this part in my movie and be incredibly amazing—but entirely too serious again. So before it all goes back to being crazy I want to see you smile. Please?”
He really was an incredible best friend. I kissed his forehead as I stood up. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now go. While the night is still young.”
CHAPTER 3
I hadn’t been on a first date of any kind in months. I was too busy and quite frankly at this point in my life, a guy needed to be worth my time to go to the effort of putting myself out there. First dates were tricky. Did you dress up or down? Have a drink or stay stone cold sober? Kiss?
I was hoping one day that men wouldn’t seem so damn confusing. I wasn’t expecting that day to come on vacation with a guy I never planned on seeing again.
As I got dressed for dinner I just knew tonight would be fun. I got the feeling Colt wouldn’t care one way or the other what I wore. I didn’t find myself fixating on details. I wasn’t nervous.
If anything, I was excited and that was a really nice change of pace.
The sun had dipped toward the horizon as I walked across the grass lawn that surrounded the gazebo. The evening breeze caught the skirt of my sundress and set it swirling around my bare legs. I could just make out the shadow of a tall cowboy leaning against the opposite arch.
My heart fluttered with anticipation as I drew up in front of him.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he murmured, leaning down to drop a soft kiss on my cheek. “You look beautiful.” He was sweet but guarded as he greeted me.
“Thank you. You look very nice as well.” His hair was still damp from a shower and brushed back from his face. He wore grey trousers made from a very light material and a white linen shirt. It accentuated his tan and it looked really good on him. There was no hat.
Shame.
What would I have done two years ago if I’d been on this date? The old, more carefree Lily would have probably already made a suggestive comment and slipped her arm around his. And while there was definitely something to be said for how upfront I used to be, in this moment I was grateful for experience. The signals I kept getting from Colt told me he was more serious and maybe even a little out of practice when it came to dating. And wary. Definitely wary.
He reminded me of some of the people I loved most in the world, and how each one of them required time and patience to lower their guard around new people. They didn’t trust and there was a reason for that. Someone, somewhere, had taught them that trust was something that had to be earned. I respected that even if I didn’t operate the same way, and I was happy to ease Colt in carefully if it meant getting to know the man underneath.
Because I had a feeling that man was very much worth knowing.
“Are you ready or would you like to get a drink first?”
I smiled because he was really very sweet. “I’m comfortable with you, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I was. I always like to make sure my dates know they can end them at any time.”
“Duly noted.” I clasped my hands behind my back and rose up on my toes to plant a kiss on his soft, freshly shaven cheek. “And just so you know, you can do the same.”
He offered me his elbow. “I feel safer already.”
I slipped my hands around his elbow and nestled closer to his side. He was warm and solid. The kind of guy who made you feel safer just by being around him, which was odd considering I’d never particularly looked to a man to make me feel safe, and yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was exactly what I felt as I walked beside Colt into the Starboard restaurant.
“Good evening.” The hostess smiled at us both in turn. “Two of you tonight, Colt?”
He gave an easy, friendly smile. “It is. Please don’t look too shocked.”
She grabbed two menus and shook her head. “You have to be the nicest patron we’ve ever had. And I’m sure Miss . . . ”
“Annie,” he said simply.
“Annie would agree that you make it easy to be around you.” She stopped at a small table in front of the giant glass windows that looked out over the beach. “He’s been cracking up the whole staff all week.”
Colt hurried over and held my chair, which I thought was incredibly nice, even if it was unnecessary, but he seemed to have an ingrained set of manners that operated almost on instinct.
“Thank you,” I said as I sat.
He guided my chair expertly, his fingers just barely brushing my arms as he stood up. “You’re welcome.”
“The fish of the day is Mahi Mahi and our vegetable is squash. Gerald will be serving you again tonight.” She handed Colt his menu and turned away.
“You really know how to work a room,” I laughed. “Everyone here is taken with you.”
He shifted on his chair, avoiding my gaze as he snapped open his menu. “I like to get to know people.”
“And you’re on vacation alone.”
He smiled without looking up. “And I’m
on vacation alone.” He pretended to look over the menu, which he totally wasn’t doing based on the way his eyes wandered without stopping on anything, then sighed and closed it, meeting my gaze. “I’ve found that life is a lot more interesting when you get to know the people around you—even the people serving your food.”
That made everything inside me tingle with awareness. Colt wasn’t like anyone else I’d ever met. He was kind and sweet to me, but he was also friendly and accommodating to everyone, it seemed. It made me want to know more about him even if it was a pointless endeavor. Like he just said, it would make life more interesting.
“And yet your work is stressing you out. You’re an interesting man, Colt.”
His eyes unfocused and his smile dropped. “No number of friends or interesting days can make obligations disappear. You’ve just got to get through them.”
“Isn’t that the truth?” I whispered, feeling the weight of his words.
His hand slid across the table and he touched my fingertips. “I’m sorry.” He waited for me to look up and when I did the concern there took my breath away. His soft gaze, his easy smile . . . he didn’t know me or my troubles, but he understood just the same.
“I guess the best we can do is make the most of this vacation, huh?”
He nodded, pulling his hand back. I immediately regretted saying anything. Maybe if I’d remained silent he would have kept his hand on mine and I would have gotten to enjoy a few more moments of whatever warm, wonderful sensation it was that seemed to flow from him to me each time we touched.
“What is it you expect from this dinner, Colt?” The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted to spend time with him. It was like getting a taste of my favorite chocolate mousse. One bite was delicious, but the more I had the more I wanted, even after my stomach started to hurt.
“Your company,” he said quietly. “Nothing more, nothing less.”
“And if I said I wanted more than company?” Dear god, what had just come over me? I never said things like this, never made the first move. Certainly not after a few minutes.
He stiffened and I knew immediately that I’d made a mistake. “Can’t we just enjoy dinner before we start talking about dessert?” Then he shot me a smile that was totally in contradiction with the stiff way he held his body. His smile was damned disarming and had probably gotten him laid many, many a time. It was about to get him laid again if the way my belly flipped was any indication. That is, if I could get him to let down that guard of his.
“I was simply curious, Colt. I wasn’t suggesting we make plans now. The way a man reacts to a proposition like that is very revealing.”
That got his attention. “And what did I just reveal?”
Everything. Colt was one of the good guys. I could feel it in my bones. “You don’t do one night stands. You’re the kind of guy who walks women home and makes sure they get safely inside.” I set my menu down and leaned forward, attempting to be seductive but not intimidating, so I dropped my voice to a near whisper. “You have things to worry about that are more important to you than your own wellbeing.”
The color drained from his face a little, telling me I’d nailed him. The good news was that he wasn’t running for the nearest exit. If I was lucky my delivery was just forceful enough to break through that tough exterior of his, but soft enough for him to realize I wasn’t there to use him any more than he was there to use me.
“And here I was going to say the same thing about you.” His voice was a low, protective rumble that shot straight down to my soul and shocked the hell out of me.
I wasn’t expecting that. “Excuse me?”
He didn’t look away even though he seemed to be overwhelmed by everything.
“You have things to worry about that are more important to you than your own wellbeing,” he repeated, boring into me with his deep blue eyes. “You care about the people in your life, almost too much. And the idea of fucking me on vacation is something that terrifies you as much as you crave it.”
I swallowed hard.
Well damn. So much for the quiet, well-mannered guy I was imagining. Colt might be those things, but he was also commanding. “So we understand each other.” Colt wanted to fuck me and that terrified him. I knew why it had my nerves rattling, but why were his?
“We do.”
“And how does that make you feel?” Dang, I sounded breathy. I was so turned on by this conversation it wasn’t even funny.
“Confused.”
“Why?” I needed to know. This was the critical piece of information that would tell me whether Colt was a good idea or not. Anyone could have a fling on vacation and walk away without looking back, but Colt was already more to me. When I flew home to my mess it would be with memories of his smile and his kindness, with questions about my future and whether I needed to find a spot for a rough around the edges cowboy who liked poetry.
Whether I liked it or not, Colt was already under my skin.
“If I tell you it will probably ruin dinner and we haven’t even ordered drinks yet.” Then he grinned. “Actually this is probably the perfect time. That way if it freaks you out you can leave before we get any further into this.”
Well this was interesting. “And what makes you think I’d leave you to eat all alone?” God, I wished I could stop studying the way his strong shoulders filled out his white shirt, or the way his chin would fit in the palm of my hand. What was wrong with me?
“I’ve never had a one-night stand before. Or a two-night stand, for that matter.” He said quickly, sitting back and placing his hands on the table. It was almost as if he was saying this is me, all of me, take it or leave it. “And I don’t think I’d be very good at it.”
No, I imagined Colt was more of a one-woman, she’s-all-mine, I-like-to-have-it-all kind of guy. He didn’t scream ladies man, despite all that masculine sex appeal. “And that prevents us from having dinner?”
His eyebrows shot up. “No, but if you were expecting a man to put the moves on you and seduce you into his bed, you’re looking at the wrong man.”
“Too late.” Oh, how he had it all wrong. “You already ‘put the moves on me’ and I’m already pretty damned seduced by you simply being you, Colt.”
He blinked at me in surprise just as Gerald approached the table with a bottle of wine. “Good evening, Colt. Good to see you again. I took the liberty of getting your favorite wine ready. Would the lady like anything different?” He smiled at me warmly as he held out the bottle for my inspection.
I liked Gerald. He was a distinctive looking man with a nice smile and a short beard. He was mostly bald on top and had the rest of his hair shaved down short so that it nearly matched. I glanced at the Pinot Noir. “I’ll have what he’s having, thank you.”
“Any appetizers tonight? We have a wonderful Ahi Tuna plate,” he said as he poured my glass.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Colt’s shocked gaze. “I love tuna.”
“Tuna it is, then.” He finally looked away to smile at Gerald, who, I might add, chuckled like he saw and understood everything that had just happened.
“So the question is,” I said the moment Gerald was out of earshot, “are you freaked out by the idea that I enjoy your company?”
He took a sip of the wine and cracked his neck. “Not freaked out. Confused.”
“That a handsome man with a penchant for getting to know people would be attractive?”
His cheeks brightened just a little. “That you’d be attracted to a workaholic with no fling experience.”
Oh, if he only knew how much more attractive that made him. “You have a life you need to get back to. I have a life that has taken over everything. I need this vacation if I’m going to survive the stress. What I need more than anything is to have fun for the next two days with someone who doesn’t need anything from me. Because I have nothing to give.”
His eyes darkened and that protective look came back over his face. “You have plenty to offer that doe
sn’t require giving anything that you need.” His jaw ticked as he glanced out the picture window at the sun setting into the ocean. “I hate hearing that you feel otherwise.”
And that was part of what I couldn’t figure out. Why did he care? And why did I care about him? We didn’t know each other and yet . . . we understood, and that seemed to be more important than anything else.
“In my real life, that’s the just the way it is. Everything is a currency. There is nothing that comes for free.”
“I’m free.” He said it like he was angry, his eyes flicking from the sunset to mine. “I can’t offer you much, but that is yours. Whatever time we spend together, whatever we do, it’s given freely and without expectation.”
I took a steadying breath because my entire body seemed to have grown hot under Colt’s intense stare. “It’s the same for me. Please don’t think I’m here for anything from you.”
He held my gaze, not saying anything and not looking away. And then, just when I didn’t think I’d ever be able to breath again, “I know, Annie.”
And by the tone in his voice, the conviction of those three simple words, I knew he meant it. Knowing that he understood hit me harder than I expected. No one ever believed me. Fuck, they barely even listened to me. They took what they needed and then they asked for more. To be seen so easily and clearly was damn near unbelievable, and yet here he was, looking right at me.
I was grateful when Gerald returned with our appetizer. We needed the break to recover. Plus food seemed like a really good idea with my head swirling and my pulse pounding like a drum in a really intense rock band.
Colt slowly relaxed and then his smile returned as he joked with Gerald about something they’d both seen the day before. I wasn’t really paying attention to their words because I was so caught up in the way Colt smiled and interacted with our waiter. He was so genuine. So friendly. I found that I wanted to spend more time around him simply because I enjoyed the way I felt being around someone who cared about someone other than himself.
