by Alexis Anne
He knew, he just didn’t want to admit he knew me that well. “Too nervous.” I could play along if it made him feel more comfortable.
He grunted and moved safely around to the other side of the counter.
I followed him. “Why are you awake?” I hated that he was avoiding looking at me.
“Trouble sleeping. I have a lot on my mind.”
I stopped in front of him and brushed the hair over his ears. “Work or me?”
His eyes snapped up to mine. “Both.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you?”
Since I was feeling bold and little bit desperate, I did something a little on the crazy side. I pulled him into me and kissed the crap out of him. “Yes.”
“Oh,” he said between kisses. Each one more fervent than the one before it. Maybe, just maybe I could make him forget both for a few minutes. And maybe forgetting would help him remember that we were pretty amazing together.
The next thing I knew I was on the counter. His capable hands lifting me, spreading me, taking me deeper and deeper into the dirtiest kiss I could ever remember. Our clothes were still on but I could feel him everywhere.
“Stop,” he gasped, stepping back.
I immediately felt empty and cold, but I stopped. “I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that,” he snapped.
“Well, I am.” I crossed my legs, mostly to help calm the throbbing, but also to draw his attention back to my legs. “Have you thought about me?”
He looked at me as if I were nuts. “Do you honestly think I can concentrate on anything else?” he yelled. “You make working very difficult.”
Well that was encouraging. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you, either. I was looking forward to seeing you again . . . I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.” Not that six and half months was soon. God no. It was entirely too long. “It’s been torture.”
“You didn’t email.”
“You said it was for emergencies,” I shot back.
I watched as he moved around the worktops, opening an industrial refrigerator, pulling out containers, bread, and a knife. “Then things have been going well?”
That was a loaded question. “No, but they’ve been moving forward. And you?”
He half shrugged. “It’s really hard to stay in my office these days. Someone reminded me I have a lot to enjoy.” He shot me a wry grin that was damn near boyish.
Fuck it looked good on him. Every single time he let the weight of the world melt away his hot factor quadrupled.
“But you’re still a workaholic.”
“I am.” He closed the sandwich and slid it my way. “Eat.”
“How do you know I’ll like it?”
He cocked a mischievous eyebrow. “I remember.”
I took a bite. It was the exact same sandwich from our waterfall picnic. Cold chicken, mayo, green onions, lettuce, and a touch of mustard. It was a perfect midnight snack. All it was missing was passionate sex under the sky.
“Thank you.”
He grunted again as he made a second sandwich.
“Were you really going to go back?” I didn’t need to explain that I meant The Westerly.
“I gave you my reservation number.”
I couldn’t count the number of times I’d looked at it over the months, wondering if he’d be there, wondering if I’d go.
“You live here all alone?” It was a lot of house for a bachelor.
“I do.”
“Is it lonely?”
“All the damn time.”
Ancestral family home. I got it. But I also didn’t. “Why?”
He took a giant bite and let the question hang between us, all while studying me. “Are you asking why it’s lonely or why I live here alone?”
“Both.”
He scowled. “It’s lonely because until my father died this was a house full of people. All those people have either died or moved and now it’s just me, holding it all together. I live here because this is my home and if I’m going to maintain the Landry family legacy, I might as well do it here.”
I didn’t want to push too far too fast, but I also wanted to know everything now that there was nothing between us. I know that sounds pretty hypocritical considering how much I wasn’t sharing with him, but it was what it was.
“Is our being here a good thing or a bad thing?”
He shrugged, looking a little lost. “It’s just a thing.” Then he cleared his throat. “How are you finding your room?”
“It’s amazing. I love it.”
“Good. I should walk you back. It’s late.” He cleared the plates and wiped off the counter before taking my hand and leading me out.
It was an intimate gesture, but also cold. As if he wanted more—wanted to be right back where we were the last time we saw each other—but also not ready. We walked silently through the dark halls, stopping at my closed door.
He brushed my long hair over my shoulders, then ran a thumb over my cheek, his eyes studying everything without actually looking at me. “Good night Lily Lawrence.”
I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. “What happens next?”
“You make a movie and I . . . work. Just like we would have if we hadn’t run into each other.”
In other words, no romance.
But he also wasn’t turning me away. “Will I see you around?”
His thumb moved to my lower lip, his touch feather soft. “Would it make you happy, even if it were only for conversations?”
My eyes shot up because—what did that even mean? Was he accusing me of only wanting his body?
“Of course. I miss you.”
“Hmmm . . . I’m a very busy man. Maybe you’ll see me. Maybe you won’t.”
He was playing with me. I pushed away. “Please don’t put yourself out on my count. I wouldn’t want to interfere with your work.”
“Any more than I want to interfere with yours.” Then he backed me into my own door and kissed me lightly on the lips—all without touching me anywhere else.
“Goodnight Annie.”
CHAPTER 12
I stared at the ceiling most of the night.
Meaning I didn’t sleep a wink.
Meaning I looked like shit the next day.
“You have to promise me you’ll get some more sleep tonight. There’s only so much makeup can do.” My makeup artist Wanda was brilliant and I had no doubt in her ability, but that didn’t mean I needed to make her job harder than it already was.
“Sorry. New place, new bed, new job . . . it’s a lot.”
“I get it. But your job is to look the same everyday so do whatever you have to do to get into a routine as fast as you can.”
Usually I was good at this part. I had a pattern. Get in a couple of days early, sleep like crazy, run, sleep, eat, and then settle into a rigorous daily workout. The workout helped clear my head and exhaust my body, thus ensuring good sleep and maximum creativity each day.
But thanks to Ted I didn’t arrive early—something I now knew was his plan to surprise Colt and I into a torrid new love affair.
So now I wasn’t ready and I didn’t have the guy.
But no worries. I would get both . . . eventually. I had a feeling Colt would take more than a couple of conversations to win over, but I would win him over.
“Today is just test shots,” I said as if that would excuse looking like shit.
“Yes, and those test shots will determine lighting, costume and makeup adjustments, and a hell of a lot more. It’s okay, it’s not like you have a black eye or something really bad, but if you keep this up you’ll make continuity a bitch.”
All things I knew. All things she knew I knew, but this was her job, too.
“I will get my sleep. Promise.”
If only I’d known then how hard that promise would be to keep.
My first clue would come six hours later in the south pasture where we would shoot all our horse training scenes. The mai
n characters Jacqueline and John fell in love while breaking a horse, so these scenes were critical to the plot. The director and stunt coordinator walked us all through the current plans for shooting the scenes, including early blocking. Most of this would change as we actually got into shooting, but at least we all had an idea of what the goal was and what our expectations were.
The director and cinematographer were discussing whether they wanted a series of wide shots when someone called my name.
“Lily? Lily Lawrence?” It was a soft, feminine voice coming from somewhere behind me.
I appreciated that my clothes for these scenes were practical blue jeans, a red blouse, and cowboy boots that I’d been breaking in for the last month. Being comfortable was a nice change. “Can I help you?”
The woman was petite with raven black hair that was pulled back in a long, loose, unmistakably feminine French braid. I knew exactly who she was when I got closer. The family resemblance was that clear. She was a Landry and my money was on her being Colt’s sister.
“Hi,” she grinned, sticking out her hand. “I’m Christina Landry, it’s good to meet you.”
She was every bit Colt’s opposite. Bright, bubbly, and infectiously happy.
“Good to meet you as well.” I leaned over the paddock railing.
Christina was dressed in jeans and boots, holding the reigns of a gorgeous black horse. I didn’t know jack about horses, but this one was beautiful and seemed to adore her. I could tell by the way it kept nuzzling her affectionately.
“Can I steal you away for a few minutes? Is now a good time?”
I turned to Penny, the director’s assistant. “I’m taking five.”
Her eyes darted to Christina and she gave me a quick nod. “For Christina, you can have all the time you need.”
Well there you have it. Money can buy you a heck of a lot. “Seems I’m all yours.”
She shot me a cheeky grin. “I bribed the crew with chocolate caramels this morning. It’s earned me a lot of leverage.”
Okay, so maybe I was wrong. Maybe chocolate was the key to the world.
“Where’s mine?” I joked, but she immediately replied.
“Waiting on your bed. You’re in the O’Hara room. My favorite!”
She really was a delightful little fairy. “Umm. . . thank you.”
“No, thank you. That’s why I came over.” She pulled me to a stop a good distance from the crew. “My brother came home from vacation a different man. I understand I have you to thank for that.”
I blushed. “I think you should probably be thanking yourself. You’re the one that sent him away.”
Her eyes glittered. “The fact that you know that says Colt felt very comfortable around you. He doesn’t share anything with anyone.”
That awful ache that I seemed to get every time I thought about Colt came rushing back. “Trust issues?”
“Well earned,” she said quietly.
My heart skipped a beat, angry that anyone would hurt Colt.
“And that,” she murmured. “You care about him.”
I was apparently transparent to all the Landry’s. “We were on vacation for similar reasons. We clicked because of that.”
“I know. I’m a huge fan of your grandmother’s.” She kind of let that sentence hang partially finished.
“Does Colt know?”
“No,” she said quickly. “He never pays any attention to gossip. If it isn’t in his business news it doesn’t exist. In speaking with him yesterday I realized how very little he actually knew about you. I assumed there was a reason?”
She gave me space, focusing on her horse, petting his nose and feeding him something from her hand. It was a very smart tactic for making my feel comfortable during questioning.
Because let’s be clear. This was a questioning. There might not be a two-way mirror and a spotlight, but the intention was the same.
“As I’m sure you’re well aware, my family situation is complicated.” I watched her reaction to this. I learned long ago that the way people did or did not fan-girl and conspiracy-theory told me a lot about whether they were curious people or intrusive super fans.
“Coming from a complicated family, I fully understand why you might feel compelled to be careful with strangers.”
I let out a relieved breath. Christina got it. “Careful and,” I was taking a chance on revealing this part, “protective of Colt. He’s been just as careful with me as I’ve been with him. So I don’t want to add anything to his plate.”
She smiled. “I like you. Very much. This is why I’ll help you.”
“Help me?” I ran back our conversation and nope. There was no part where I asked for this.
“I love my brother more than anything else in this world. And One Night in New York was one of my favorite movies of all time, but Mine to Keep is the one I watch over and over again.”
I blushed again. One Night in New York was my grandmother’s biggest movie. It was a classic. I expected that when people told me they were fans of hers. But Mine to Keep was my movie. It was my favorite even though it was more of a cult classic. It had a very small box office and was ignored by the critics. And yet, it had word of mouth and now had a dedicated, rabid following of fans.
“So?”
“So I want to see Colt happy and I really like the idea of him being happy with one of my favorite movies stars.”
And this was the thing I didn’t quite get. Ted was doing the exact same thing—forcing me together with Colt even though we had only known each other a few days. “May I ask why? You’ve known me all of two minutes.”
She grinned and then launched herself up into the saddle with the kind of deftness you expect from someone who grew up around horses. “Even if I never met you I’d want this. I don’t need to know anything about you, Lily. All I needed was the look on my brother’s face.”
* * *
HIS SISTER SEEMED to think she had the answers, so I figured I’d call mine for some insight.
“We’ve had a ridiculous life.”
She snorted. “Understatement.”
Considering she answered my call in the middle of the night, her time, she had a point. She and her husband Adam were currently in Azerbaijan, sleeping in a castle ahead of the next Formula 1 Grand Prix.
“We’ve had a ridiculous life and yet,” I sighed, “and yet this seems insane.”
“What?” she was half asleep and yawning. “The falling for a hottie part? Get over it. You totally deserve a hottie.”
“No. The fact I met him on vacation.”
“I met Adam on vacation.”
Technically Adam was on vacation and Liz was just working. “You had two whole weeks together before you started leaping into talking about feelings.”
That made her laugh. “I was an emotionally stunted, exploited, extorted ex-celebrity in hiding. Two weeks for me is the equivalent of two hours for everyone else. Besides now that I have the benefit of retrospect, I can tell you I probably knew Adam was perfect after two minutes and I was absolutely head over heels for him after two days, I just wasn’t capable of recognizing any of those emotions until later.”
My life was weird, but Liz’s was a thousand times weirder. She shielded me from a lot of what our parents did. And even though I knew the parties were raging in our living rooms I didn’t understand that there were drugs and sex happening all over the house because Liz kept us hidden.
She was the adult when our parents couldn’t manage to be responsible.
“He doesn’t know,” I whispered.
The line fell silent and I knew I didn’t need to explain.
“Think of it this way, Lil. You found one of the few people on this planet who don’t have their noses up our asses. This may be the only time you get to tell your story in your own way . . . but don’t wait too long. People will talk and you want him to hear it from you.”
She was right. I knew she was right, but it didn’t make it any easier to find the words. “H
ow did you tell Adam?” It was probably simpler for her considering Adam’s family was even more in the public eye than ours was, especially since his lifetime-senator grandfather had been elected president three years earlier. If anyone was going to understand a weird public life, it was a guy whose family was considered political royalty.
I heard sheets rustling and the rumbly voice of my brother-in-law. “Hey Lil. Love you,” he mumbled.
Liz hushed him. “Hold on. I’m going out to the couch.” There was more rustling and the soft click of a door.
“I’m sorry I’ve got you up in the middle of the night.”
But she brushed me right off. “Whatever. We have no schedule. I just want him to get a good night of sleep. Tomorrow is qualifying and he needs his whole brain.”
A couple of years ago Adam took on his own new Formula 1 team under the umbrella of his old team. Instead of working on the engineering staff he was now the head of the whole team and in direct competition with his old team. It was a weird dynamic I didn’t totally understand but they told me it had something to do with innovation and pushing design.
Whatever.
“Adam knew exactly who I was as soon as I told him,” she said quickly. “But I was lucky. He knew my story but he didn’t make assumptions. He waited patiently while I told him what I could. It took a while.”
Would Colt give me the same courtesy? Given the fact we were already on rocky ground, I had my doubts. Besides, he had that whole protective vibe going and I had a feeling if I told him about the parties, the money, and the scams he’d go into overdrive and blast right past caring and into angry monster mode.
Well, that was if he cared at all.
And I was pretty sure under his hurt he cared about me just as much as I cared about him.
“Where do I even start?” I plopped back onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. Had Maureen O’Hara done the same thing? Probably not. She was pretty bad ass. Staring at ceilings would have been beneath her.
“What are you most afraid of him finding out?” Liz asked.
“Everything.”
She laughed. “Yeah. You’ve got to get over that. You could have run away and changed your name like me but you didn’t. You wanted to stay and conquer. And I know you will. You have the strength that I didn’t.”
