“Tiffany Jane, button it,” her mother snapped. “You’re not helping matters.”
Tiffany huffed, then popped to her feet, anger sparking in her gold eyes. “I can’t, because I’ve been witness to Chad manipulating her way too many times. Far more than you. The guy is like a barnacle on the hull of her mind, one she can’t scrape off no matter what disgusting thing he does to her. Can’t you people see that? Hell, last night he held her at gunpoint, yet today she’s worried about his black soul? That’s warped thinking in anyone’s book. Including The Book.” She stalked off toward the open door of the plane and left.
Christian cleared his throat then stood. “Maybe I’d better go after her.”
“I think I’ll join you,” Asa said.
Chelsie glanced his way as he rose, her heart plummeting when she saw the disgust in his eyes. “Asa, Tiffany is wrong. This is very complicated. Please let me explain.”
He stared at her for several moments, disappointment growing in his gaze, then he shook his head slowly, side to side. “You’re nowhere near ready to explain anything, Chelsie, because you don’t have things clear in your own mind yet.”
“My mind is quite clear, Asa. Chad’s where he belongs. All I’m saying is I feel bad about the way I got him there because I lied to do it.”
“Yes, you did. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. You lied to me once again, and I’m sick of it. It’s time you start coming clean with people about the problems in your life instead of trying to protect everyone at the cost of your own. When you get that straight in your head, let me know.” He stalked off then exited the plane.
The ache squeezing her heart following his sharp words was unquestionably the worst she’d ever suffered. Chelsie clamped a shaky hand over her mouth. She could not loose Asa over this. Somehow, she had to convince him that her feelings for Chad were merely sympathetic.
He was right about one thing though. She had lied to him repeatedly—first about her cancer, then about Chad’s abuse, and of course her plans to nail Chad. Her reasons had nothing to do with trust. Chelsie trusted him. She’d just been trying to protect him and her family. Why couldn’t he see that?
Her mother pulled her hand away from her mouth and squeezed it. “It will be okay. Asa is angry because he was scared for you. Give him time to cool down, honey.”
Chelsie stared at her mom for a few seconds, then dropped her gaze to her lap. Her mother might be a mated vampire, but she didn’t know nearly as much as Chelsie did about the life mate bond, which could be extremely tenuous when one member of the couple was still human. Right now, Asa thought her affections were divided. Because vampire males were far more jealous by nature than humans, he would need solid proof she’d cut all emotional ties to Chad.
The problem was, she hadn’t, and she might never be able to because there was a tiny part of her heart that would always care for Chad. They’d made a soul tie years ago that could never be completely severed, sick as that reality might be.
If Asa had been human, he might be able to accept that. Being vampire, the notion simply wouldn’t compute. Born vampires only fell in love once. Therefore, it was difficult, if not impossible for them to understand that their life mate had loved before. Then add to that the fact that she had lied to him about nearly everything recently. No wonder he was angry and disgusted with her.
She lifted her head and stared at her mom. “Maybe he’ll come around, but not easily. A part of me will always care for Chad. I doubt Asa will ever be able to accept that. My concern for Chad seems like a betrayal to him. You’d just have to understand how the mind of a born male vampire works.”
Her mother pursed her lips, then said, “Whether a male of our kind is born or made is irrelevant, Chelsie. When they commit to taking a life mate, they never waver. Asa will come around. Just give him time. He was right though about lies. If you’ve been keeping things from him, those lies of omission are just as hurtful as bold-face ones.”
“I just didn’t want to upset him. Sometimes the truth is best held in check if it can hurt others.”
“I’m not quite sure I know what you mean specifically by that, but keeping the truth from those whom love you will always cause hurt, because those persons will think you didn’t trust them enough to confide in them about what you’re dealing with. Lies are never good no matter if you think there’s a noble cause behind them or not.”
Her mother was right. She’d been hiding the truth from so many people for so long at this point, she could scarcely discern truth from the tales she’d made up to keep her cancer a secret. It was time to come clean.
“And, sweetheart, one more thing. Give your feelings for Chad serious introspection. If there is anything left in your heart for Chad beyond concern for his soul, you can’t give it to Asa.”
Chelsie blinked at her, knowing she was right. She’d had such a love/hate relationship with Chad for so many years, peeling those two emotions apart were going to be a monumental task. She did need to take some time to dissect what she truly felt for Chad. Her love for him was long gone, but there was something there that needed to be taken down from the shelf and dusted off, because logically she should be feeling satisfaction and relief for what she’d done to Chad, not guilt. Chelsie just prayed she could figure things out, put them into perspective, and Asa would accept the results.
Her mother had given her a hard, but refreshing, new take on things. Namely, that Chelsie had become a practiced liar. The thought made her cringe. There was only one way to remedy the situation. Chelsie knew what she had to do.
She inhaled a deep breath for courage then said, “Mom. There’s something I need to tell you that has nothing to do with Asa or Chad. I’ve been hiding something from you and the rest of the family.” She paused there to let her mother respond.
“Okay. Go ahead. You know you can tell me anything. I won’t judge you.”
“It’s not about something I’ve done, Mom. It’s about something that’s happened to me. About two months ago, I went to my PCP for these severe headaches I’d been having. Long story short, she sent me to a neurologist who diagnosed me with a stage four brain tumor.”
“Oh, dear God!” her mother exclaimed then slapped a hand over her mouth.
Chelsie rushed on to get it all out there before she lost her nerve. “It’s inoperable at this point, and most treatments available may not even put it into remission. There is no cure but one.”
The horror in her mother’s features abated slightly. “Then there is a cure. That’s wonderful. What is it?”
“I’m having it done a week from this Sunday. And if I haven’t trashed what I have with Asa, he’ll be doing the procedure to turn me vampire. That’s the cure, Mom. Turning is the only thing that will destroy the cancer.”
So many emotions rushed across her mother’s face, Chelsie couldn’t keep up with them. Finally, her mom took her hand, blinked back tears, and smiled. “I’m not even going to ask you if turning is what you want, because I don’t care. If it will save your life, then you have to do it.”
Chelsie nodded. “To be honest with you, I wanted to turn before I knew I had cancer. Now that there’s Asa, I want it more than ever for personal reasons, but I need to do it in order to have a chance at life. I’m sorry it took so long for me to tell you, but I wanted to wait until I knew I had a cure so the news wouldn’t be so devastating to you and the rest of the family.”
Her mother made a tsk. “You mean you’ve been dealing with this news for two months now on your own?”
“Asa knows now. He accidentally discovered the truth the first night we spoke mind to mind.”
“Which means you didn’t plan to tell him?”
“No. He had to pry the truth out of me. I’m sorry, Mom, but unless you’ve walked in these shoes, you can’t imagine how hard it is to tell the people who love you that you’re going to die. I just couldn’t face it in the beginning. I didn’t want to believe it myself. Talking about it just seemed like it woul
d make it so much more real. When it finally dawned on me that turning might save me, I didn’t feel I could say anything then either until I had the procedure scheduled because I’d waited so long to say something in the first place.”
“But you could have, Chelsie, because everyone would have wanted to know so they could be there to support you and help you make decisions. Don’t you see what you’ve done? You keep alienating the people you love with lies and lies of omission. It only drives a wedge between people. It does nothing to cover or protect. That’s why Asa is angry with you—because he feels just as I do. You didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth. You have to trust that the people you love can handle the truth even when it’s horrible. If they love you, they’ll stand by you. If they don’t, then they weren’t worth your love. I hope you see what I’m getting at.”
“I do, and I’m sorry for waiting so long to tell you this.”
Her mother patted her forearm. “It’s okay; you’re dealing with a terminal disease. There’s no good way to deal with that. I’m not angry or hurt you left me out of the loop, just sad you didn’t include me so I could help. But enough of me. I was actually talking about Asa. Once he cools down, you owe him an apology, honey. You’re embarking on a life together, and you shouldn’t have lied to him about Chad hitting you or this plan you had for Chad. Soon the decisions you two make in life will have to be made together. You see what I mean?”
Did she ever. “Thanks, Mom. Thanks for listening and understanding.”
“You’re welcome. As for Asa, give him some space. He’ll come around, I promise.”
Chelsie hoped so.
***
Chelsie pulled into the alley behind Cajun Refugees, chose a parking spot, and killed the engine of her Lexus. She glanced over the vehicles in the employee parking area, but saw none of the band members’ present. She was a bit early for this meeting, so it didn’t concern her. What did have acid churning in her stomach was the prospect of telling them the real reason Chad had been arrested and that he would mostly likely not be returning to the band until the majority of their children were in college.
How ironic. All of them, Chad included, thought she’d be the stumbling block to prevent the band from achieving stardom. In the end, it had been Chad. Even if she hadn’t taken it upon herself to do what she did today, the law would have caught up with him eventually.
She sighed. “What a horrible day.” And it wasn’t over yet.
The flight back to NOLA had been worse than the one to Springfield. Asa hadn’t spoken a single word to her the entire time. He just stared out the window with a tight, angry expression. She didn’t dare try and coax him out of his foul mood. Instead, Chelsie decided to take her mother’s advice and give him time to cool off. She didn’t know him well enough to have any idea how long she should wait, but if she didn’t hear from him by Sunday, she’d call him then.
“What a mess.” Her stupid plan had caused so much chaos and hurt. She’d never been more frustrated with herself in her life. If Asa wrote her off for all her lies, it would destroy her. All she could do was pray that their life mate bond was real and he loved her as much as she loved him. This couldn’t be the end for them. Asa would see that. At least she hoped.
Tears welled in her eyes, stinging them. How was she going to get Asa to see her side of things? Surely, he couldn’t believe she still had feelings for Chad. If he’d just talk to her, she’d convince him otherwise and profusely apologize for hiding the truth from him.
“Please give me a chance to explain everything, Asa. Please.”
She reached over the console, grabbed her purse, and dug out some prescription eye drops. She hated contacts. They made her eyes burn and itch like crazy, and these tears didn’t help. The day she became vampire couldn’t arrive soon enough—for many reasons. When it did, she intended to burn her glasses and contacts. She would have far better than 20/20 vision and never a need for those inhibiting, visual crutches again.
She heard the rumble of a diesel engine and glanced toward the alley entrance, spotting Colt’s pimped out, red F250 pulling in. She got out and walked to the front of her car to wait for him.
Moments after it came to park, he stepped out along with Wayne and Randy. Apparently, they’d carpooled. They converged around her, wearing various expressions of apprehension.
“So what’s going on with Chad? Do you know when he’s going to be released?” Colt asked then reached up and adjusted his cowboy hat.
She sucked in a breath for fortification, because this information would be the final axe fall to blow all their dreams sky high. “Probably not for a while. Chad wasn’t arrested for the reason I told you. He was arrested for assault and rape, and he’s in the Greene County Jail at the moment.”
Shock stole into each of their expressions. A few curses were muttered.
Colt looked more confused than shocked. “What? Wanna explain that?”
Not at all. But they deserved to know what they’d be dealing with. “About eight months ago, Chad raped a woman in Springfield—some girl he picked up at a bar. She pressed charges and apparently, he’s had a warrant for some time on the charge. I suspect that might be the primary reason he was so hell-bent on getting all of you to come to New Orleans.”
Randy took off his cowboy hat and scratched his head. “A part of me really wants to say I can’t believe he’d do something like that, but in all honesty, I can’t. He’s been going downhill fast and hard for several years. I’m not just talking about the drinking and carousing. He’s been doing meth. We didn’t want to tell you, because you wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with him.” He paused there and cleared his throat, guilt creasing his features. “Mostly, we didn’t want it to be an issue that would keep you from staying with the band.”
Chelsie glared at him and clenched her teeth. Chad’s inability to listen and focus now made sense. The fact she hadn’t recognized the signs infuriated her, but Chad had always been high-strung and flighty, even as a kid.
As far as her so-called friends, her sympathy for the three went up in smoke. “God Almighty, Randy. You know what that crap does to a person! I thought all of you were my friends, but I’m starting to think all of you are just as selfish as Chad. That information would have given me a good deal of insight on his behavior of late and might have helped me make some crucial decisions. Thanks to your ill-placed allegiance to him, he went on another unraveling bend that caused me some serious injury.”
“What did he do?” Cody demanded.
“What difference does it make? Even if you didn’t know he had these charges against him, you must have known about his violence toward women.”
Wayne exclaimed, “We did not, Chels! I swear. He was never abusive with Rose.”
“Not that you know of. Ever witness any bruises on her?”
No one had anything to say to that. Men! Were they all really so clueless? Or had the guys turned a blind eye on purpose?
“Never mind. It’s water under the bridge at this point.” They wouldn’t be able to see the bruise on her face in the scant light of the alley. Plus, she’d taken a heavy hand with her makeup tonight to disguise it. At the moment, she was so disillusioned with them, she doubted they’d even care. “The important thing for you to know is Chad will probably be spending a good long time in jail, which means that contract is toast. I’m sorry for all of you, but not nearly as sorry as I was before I found out all of you were protecting a drug addict in order to achieve your own purposes. I thought all of you were my friends, Chad’s too, yet you enabled him when you should have taken a stand long ago.”
Wayne took a couple steps toward her, his features steeped with pain and regret. He’d always been closer to Chad than the others. “We tried, Chels. Time after time. You probably know better than any of us, being a doctor, the grip that drug gets on a person. He’d back off of it for a while, and I’d think maybe I’d gotten through to him. You can’t imagine how much shit I gave him over it.
Then it would start all over again, and the paranoia, crazy thinking would follow. How was I supposed to stop him? Honestly?”
Chelsie scowled at him then huffed. Any intervention was only as effective as the final and proper decision of the person being intervened for. “None of you could have, I suppose, but that doesn’t excuse your dishonesty with me. You knew Chad was determined to get back together with me. Do you think I’d want a man like that? This news aside, it was never going to happen, because I grew up and he didn’t, but he didn’t understand that. No wonder he couldn’t hear anything I ever told him. He’s been residing in an alternate universe, and now I realize the source that orbited him there. It would have been nice if someone had clued me into that fact.”
Wayne hardened his jaw, and he glanced at the night sky briefly, then back at her. “We were selfish, no doubt, but not completely for ourselves and the band. For Chad. Yeah, Chad lied to us about y’all’s relationship, but we thought it was real at the time. You’ve always been the one person in his life that could nail an ounce of sense into his head. We were counting on you to do it again.”
“Oh, my Lord,” she muttered then clamped a hand across her forehead. They’d counted wrong. Way wrong. Her actions today had done just the opposite.
She’d done a great deal of thinking on that flight and afterward, with her thoughts and emotions vacillating so fast and hard, she’d finally had enough and forced herself to take a mental time-out so she could regain her sanity and get in a nap before the band played tonight.
First, she’d accepted the fact she couldn’t undo what she’d done. Her motives had been wrong, but the end result had been right. Chad was in jail for a crime he’d committed. She might have accelerated the timing, but he would have ended up there eventually. Learning he was addicted to one of the worst drugs on the planet salved her conscience a bit. He’d get clean and sober there quickly, and he’d have time to think about his destructive choices in life. If there had been even a shred of truth in his claim to change, prison would give him time and opportunity to revisit the notion.
Deadly Secrets (Forever and a Night Book 3) Page 17
