"Are you trying to make me jealous?"
"Not one bit being it's always going to be you."
We both wore matching grins as we walked hand in hand into the house after the long ride back. I think we were both anxious as to what the rest of the night had in store. I had never felt so full of everything. I know that doesn't really make sense to you but when you go from feeling completely empty to having something that truly completes you, it can do amazing things and I wanted to pay him back the only way I knew would solidify what we had when we were together.
He thought he had a surprise for me but what I had for him was something just as special.
Canyon turned on the TV while we laid on the couch cuddling but my mind was racing with the thoughts of how I was going to pull this off. Eventually I rolled over on my side facing him and said, "I'm going to go change into something more comfortable."
He was so engrossed with what he was watching that he barely murmured an, "Okay "while I slipped out of his grasp.
Climbing the stairs I kept thinking about how awkward this all was. I wasn't a virgin and I seriously doubted he was either but something about what was going to happen had me more nervous than the first time I ever had sex.
I took off my clothes and grabbed the sexiest underwear I owned. What I couldn't decide on was if I should cover it all up or prance down the stairs and see his reaction. Most girls would prefer the man to take this decision from them and let them make the first move. Well, I'm not like most girls and the need to make this moment perfect for him was all I could focus on.
I decided that the barely naked approach was the way to go.
I reapplied my makeup and shook my curls out a little bit, trying to make myself more confident than he'd ever seen me. I got to the top step though and then ran back into the bedroom for my boots. If anything was going to make a cowboy blush it was his girl in nothing but her boots.
Back at the steps I started to doubt myself and the whole idea. What if I tripped and fell? I mean, how stupid would I look? I told myself it would be okay and I just had to go for it. Each step was better than the one before. My confidence grew higher and by the last one I felt on top of the world. Only Canyon never looked away from the TV. I stood there holding onto the banister for what felt like forever until finally I cleared my throat.
He was watching the PBR and I couldn't expect him to know what I was up to but a simple glance in my direction would have at least been something. The longer I stood there the more aggravated I got. I cleared my throat again and watched him once again completely ignore me while he picked up his beer and took a drink.
I decided the subtle approach wasn't working so instead, I walked in front of the television. Watching Canyon's eyes swell bigger than saucers was worth its weight in gold. Getting beer spit all over me was not.
I was speechless if you can only imagine, shaking my arms attempting to rid myself of the drops of beer now covering me.
"Holy shit!"
"You could say that. This is so not how I pictured this moment going."
Canyon was up off the couch and dashing to the kitchen, for what I was unsure of, until he brought back a roll of paper towels and began patting my body down.
"I can do that." He ignored me and continued to try to dry me. "Canyon, I got it!"
He was down on his knees when I ripped the towels out of his hand.
"Hey! Don't get mad at me because you decided to come down here naked. What the heck did you expect me to do?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just embarrassed."
I was wiping off my stomach when Canyon grabbed my hand and stopped me.
"What are you doing?"
"Why would I let it go to waste?"
He brought his face to my stomach and then drug his tongue from my navel all the way up to the underside of my breast and holy crap did it feel good. I felt his hands grab onto my hips and pull me forward as his tongue went back to cleaning off my body. He rose up on his knees while his hands climbed up my back until he grabbed onto my bra strap and I felt the tension release. One strap at a time fell from my shoulders as I stood there covered in goosebumps.
This was not how I planned this at all but I couldn't think much because the next thing I knew, Canyon had both of my breasts in his hands.
"Tell me you came down here for me so I could do this to you."
His tongue flicked the tip of my breast and made me want to scream.
"Yes."
He kissed the other one dragging his tongue between the two.
"Ari?"
"Yes?"
"Can I take you to bed?"
"Please."
He rose up to meet me at eye level with a look in his eye I had never seen. It was primal. I thought he would take my hand and lead me up the stairs but instead he scooped me up in his arms and carried me the entire way.
We never let each other go with our eyes as he laid me down softy on his bed and then stood at the end of it.
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life."
"Come here."
He crawled onto the bed, hovering over me until he brought his sweet lips down to mine. I loved the taste of him. The slow pulls he took to my bottom lip. I loved everything about this man and the idea of what he would do entranced me.
"This time I'm not going stop this from happening. I'm going to make the sweetest love to you that both of us will ever know."
He backed off the bed, taking my panties and boots off in the process before I watched as he slowly stripped off his clothes. The body that first caught my attention long ago out in the fields was now standing before me completely bare.
"Tell me you want me, Ari."
His weight sunk into the bed as he climbed back up me.
"It's all I will ever want."
When he lined himself up in between my legs I thought I might pass out by the trauma my body was about to ensue from the size of him alone. It had been months, but it felt as though I had never experienced anything being inside me as he began to stretch me from the inside out.
His arms gripped onto me as he buried his head in my shoulder. Another slow push came. This time I thought I was going to split open. Canyon lifted up as my hands fell to his waist and each time he would move forward I would use resistance against him.
"You have to calm down, darlin’. I promise I will never hurt you, just trust me to make you feel good."
He pushed again and this time I screamed bloody murder as his end became one with my beginning. We both didn't move for a second letting nature work its magic while my body adjusted to comfort with his size.
Canyon looked down into my watering eyes and then kissed the tip of my nose.
"I love you so much, Ari."
"I love you too. So much it actually hurts at the moment."
He started to shake and I knew it was from the laughter he was holding in. I didn't even try to restrain myself. I needed the distraction and laughing did just what I needed it to.
"I can't believe we're laughing right now. I haven't been with a girl in so long and the first time I'm back in the game, I make you laugh."
I rose up on my elbows and grabbed his cheeks.
"If we can't laugh, what is there left?"
He pulled slightly out of me and then plunged back bringing with it the most incredible sensation.
"I will show you what's left."
I fell back down to the bed and closed my eyes while I fell into a euphoric coma as he rocked in and out of me.
"Don't close your eyes. Open them up and stay with me."
My eyes opened and set their focus on the most beautiful man bringing levels of pleasure to me I had never reached. The pain disappeared leaving in its wake the most sensual experience of my life. I let my hands wander across his body, feeling every dip and curve along with the tightness of each muscle as he used them. With one legged wrapped around his back and the other left straight I had access to the point we came together. Slowly, I rocked with him as my
right hand came down and began to rub myself.
"Holy shit! Don’t do that. You’re going to make me…"
“I’ll stop. I just wanted to make you…”
“You being under me right now makes everything the best it can be. Now let me take care of you.”
No more words were needed as the pace we had been maintaining went all to hell when Canyon grabbed ahold of my leg, lifted it over his shoulder and began his assault on me. My climax was building out of control and I knew Canyon was holding back to let me finish.
"OH MY GOD! Get there, baby, because I'm going to lose it."
Seconds later I was in climax bliss squeezing on to him in a rhythm only a female body possesses.
"Ooohhhhhhuuuuuuhhhhh!"
He pulled out, falling on top me, taking my mouth like he had just taken my body as he finished.
"That was the most amazing thing I've ever felt. Thank you."
He looked like he was going to say something equally as sweet but he got distracted.
"Damn, let me get a towel."
The second he lifted up I agreed, feeling the remains of what he left behind.
"I probably could have told you I'm on the shot."
He looked at me like I had just spoken Spanish.
"The shot is a form of birth control."
I watched the light bulb go on and began to laugh.
"Don't laugh at me. I should have worn a condom but I forgot all about it when I saw you downstairs. Which is why I couldn't hold out for crap."
"You don't need one is what I'm trying to say. Wait, that was fast for you?"
He grew hard again and my eyes practically popped out of my head.
"No way!"
"What do you mean no way? You just told me I can ride bareback, darlin'. Those are words every man lives to hear."
He lowered himself back down on to me and for the next few hours we discovered what true love making was until our bodies decided we had no choice but to stop. As I lay there wrapped in Canyon's arms all I could think about was how nothing in the world could compare to being this happy.
"Hey, are you asleep?"
I lifted my head from his chest. "No, but I should be. I have no energy left."
"Let me up for a minute. I want to go grab something."
I rolled over allowing him to slide out from under me. While he got up and left the room I nuzzled back into a cozy spot and drifted off before I knew it.
I woke to the sound of guitar strings. Nothing could have taken me more by surprise then Canyon sitting down on the bed playing “Don't Close Your Eyes" to me. I sat up and scooted myself back until I could rest my body against the headboard, clutching a pillow in my lap as I watched him sing the most amazing lyrics come from the man that I loved. I know this song isn't romantic. If anything it's a tear jerker but as I've said before, joy can arise from heartache and sometimes it can be the most powerful kind.
When he played the last chord, I crawled across the bed to kiss him sweetly.
"What happened to 'Thinking Out Loud'?"
"I asked for your favorite for a reason."
"I will forever be grateful for that song, Canyon. Thank you for that."
"Oh I know how you can thank me."
"Seriously?"
"Absolutely!"
Only this time when he grabbed ahold of me he simply pulled me to him, wrapped his arms around me and said, "Goodnight, baby girl."
Hours later I woke up to a sound I had never heard before. I was so exhausted that I tried to play it off as a dream and go back to sleep but when I heard it again, there was no mistaking real from fantasy and if anything this was an all-out nightmare.
I sat up quickly and saw light coming from what should have been a coal black night. I shoved Canyon and screamed, "Wake up" as I jumped out of bed and ran to the window.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! CANYON!"
Not another word was needed before he was out of bed and running to see what had me so upset while I was grabbing for my clothes.
A scream came from outside that broke both of us.
"NOOOO!"
It was almost impossible to breathe as I watched the man I love crumble into a thousand pieces as he threw on a pair of pants and ran out of the room. I wasn't far behind him with only his shirt and a pair of panties.
When I got to the back door it was swinging shut from Canyon running through it straight for the barn that was completely engulfed in flames. The animals were trapped and screaming for their lives and there was nothing we could do. I ran after Canyon, trying to pull him back but he threw me off, making every attempt he could to get inside. The blaze was too high and completely out of control.
I ran back in to the house and grabbed the phone. My hands were shaking so badly that even dialing 9-1-1 was difficult. I told the operator the address followed by, "Get out here! There's a fire and we need help!" before I hung up and ran back out to a night sky now blocked out from the smoke billowing from the inferno.
"Canyon!"
I could no longer see him.
"CANYON!"
I ran around the barn trying to find him, screaming his name over and over again but I never got a response. I fell to the ground and covered my ears, rocking back and forth trying to block out the sound of the death happening before me.
"CANYON!"
He was inside. I knew in my gut I had lost him too and nothing can allow me to describe the pain ripping me apart.
Chapter 28
I could hear the sirens in the distance coming our way but it didn't matter. The sounds coming from the barn were drowning them out.
Everything I loved was gone.
Firetrucks pulled into the driveway and men started running around the building that was now collapsing within itself using hoses to spray it down but nothing was helping. I sat back and wondered, how can God be so cruel?
"Ma’am, excuse me, ma’am, I need you to come with me."
I didn't move. There was no reason. If anything I only wished I had been brave enough to run into the fire too. At least my misery would be over.
I heard the firemen coming in and out of the barn but I didn't really listen. I didn't care about anything anymore.
"Ma’am, I'm going to have to move you."
He scooped me up, taking away my choice and brought me around to the front of the barn where the ambulance was waiting to take away the one man who stole my heart, vowing to never leave me but did anyway.
When I was set down on the steps, I noticed everyone running to the back. I didn't care to live, more or less move. The horses, Canyon, I had lost everything.
"Get the stretcher over here now!"
I looked up and saw them laying Canyon's body on the ground off in the distance. My entire body began to shake as two men lifted the stretcher and started to carry him toward me.
I whispered to myself, "Please don't. Please. I can't see this, I just can't" before I got up to run into the house but a woman grabbed my arm.
"We're taking him now. Would you like to ride with us?"
I couldn't believe she would ask me to do something like that. I shook my head back and forth when words wouldn't form, feeling even worse for being so selfish. Canyon would never have let me go no matter how awful it was.
"Honey, he just might need your strength."
"What kind of sick person are you?"
"Look it's up to you but either way we're leaving. Do you want to come or not?"
Something about her agitation made me think. "Are you telling me he's alive?"
"Yes, dear, that’s exactly what I'm saying and he's going to need you."
I was up and running as fast as I could for the ambulance they had loaded him in. As soon as I reached the back, I climbed in and crawled straight to his side.
He had a few burns that weren't nearly as bad as I expected them to be but he wasn't responding when I touched him. I looked at the paramedic on the other side of Canyon and asked, "Why isn't he..."
I
was shaking so badly, afraid to finish my sentence.
"We sedated him. He suffered from severe smoke inhalation and needs oxygen."
I wiped the tears from my face and tried to steady my hands while I asked, "How did he even survive being in there?"
"They found him in the tack room along with a young foal. He had them both covered with a fireproof blanket."
"So he saved a horse too?"
"She's a fighter, I tell ya."
I looked down at my hero and grabbed ahold of his hand.
"Thank God for that blanket."
"You can say that again."
When we got to the hospital they took him from me again. I didn't want to let him go but the ICU wouldn't allow me in. Instead I was taken to a room full of scrubs. I hadn’t once thought about the fact that I was still only in Canyon's shirt and my panties. Who would think about what they were wearing in a situation like I was in?
I changed and then made my way to the waiting room when I realized that I had no one to call. No one to lean on. All we had were each other and I wondered if he thought about that before he ran into the barn. That thought triggered memories I wasn't ready to reminisce. We lost everything but ourselves. It wasn't as if the animals were mine but I loved them equally and their pain in death crushed me to a core I hadn't known existed prior to that day.
I tried drinking some coffee, hoping to hear something from the staff but in the end sleep won out.
Hours later I was being shaken awake by a nurse with bright red hair. The second I opened my eyes and saw her all I thought about was...
"Oh my God, Shelby!"
"I'm sorry, dear, who?"
It all came crashing down on me. The animals, almost losing Canyon...
"Excuse me."
I ran straight to the bathroom located across the hall. Throwing a stall door open, I hit my knees on the cold tile floor and violently began to vomit. When I had expelled all there was I sat back on my heels and screamed at the top of my lungs. The nurse from the lobby scared me when cold hands graze my neck before pulling my hair from my face.
Let It Be Me Page 25
