by Dani Wyatt
Angels have nothing on her face, and I’m as nervous as I’ve ever been.
Bruce and I are standing in the hallway leading to the activity room. She hasn’t noticed us yet, and my stomach is in fourteen kinds of knots being this close to her and realizing what I almost lost.
What I may or may not get back.
Bruce’s low voice hums next to my ear. “She’s laid on the damn couch for a week. Pitiful. Both of you are a pain in my ass; you know that? She wouldn’t even unpack the boxes you shipped back. And,” he raises his eyebrows and jabs a finger into my shoulder, “that was cold. Sending her stuff back like that.” He shakes his head at me. “All her paintings are still in the crates. She left her mattress on the floor along with her clothes. My apartment is a damn nightmare because of you two.”
“Sorry, man,” I whisper over my shoulder, unwilling to look away from her. “My head was fucked.”
“Well, I can’t take much more of you two. I’m just sayin’.” He clears his throat before he continues, his voice dropping, and I hear the concern. “I wasn’t sure she was gonna make it. Losing Jordan and you in the same day. When they let her say goodbye to him, I had to carry her out of that bitch Lydia’s office. She didn’t eat for six days. I threatened to put her in a damn room here if she didn’t take a shower and eat a damn protein bar.”
He’s back to his boyish laughter with a stomp of his foot.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” I say with deep gratitude. “You took care of her when I didn’t. I don’t know if you know how much that means to me. It’s everything. Thanks, man.”
I shift my eyes toward the perpetually smiling man to look him straight in the eye. He deserves my attention, my respect and more.
I hold out my hand, and he reluctantly gives me a quick shake.
“Geeeeeez-us, don’t go all girl on me. I need to go. She does this reading group on her own time, so you interrupt all you want, makes no difference to me.” He pauses, giving me an affectionate look that is also chastising. “Good to have you back.”
With that, he turns with a snort. He’s got someone else in his sights, and his voice is booming down the hall with its usual humor.
My legs feel like they’ve been packed full of lead buckshot. I don’t remember the last time I was this fucking scared. But, I’m not sure what’s about to happen, and she’s got the rest of my life in her hands.
Don’t pussy out, man. Gird your loins, because she may come at you with both barrels, and you deserve that shit. Take it like a man.
With a twitch of my neck, I push off from my hiding place in the doorway. “Hey, I’m sorry everyone.” I take my first strides into the activity room with my most commanding voice, and a wave of heat comes up from my toes and doesn’t stop until I am covered in it “You see, I hate to interrupt, but I need to tell a story of my own.”
Promise’s head darts around, and her eyes flash fire at me, her lips pulling to the side. Her brow furrows, and I can imagine her launching off her seat at me like a cat.
She isn’t screaming. I’ll take that as a win.
There are ten wrinkled faces staring and glaring at me. I take a gulp of air and push on because it’s my only choice.
“See, everyone, this girl here? I took her on our first date a month ago. I know that doesn’t seem like a long time.” I’m two steps from her now, and she looks away, arms crossed tight over her chest. I get a breath of her, and it sends my head swimming.
“Go away,” she whispers toward the window.
I look at the confused crowd. It’s not every day that a six foot four-inch man with half a face in full Military dress breaks up your book club.
It had taken me a good hour to decide how this was going to go down. I’d thought about wearing a suit or just keeping it real with jeans, but no. She deserves the most respect I can give her, and this is it. My chest is half covered in colored ribbons and clanking medals, but none of it matters if she’s not with me.
I carry on with my story ignoring her dismissal.
“The thing is, I’ve loved more in that month than I have in my entire life. I’ve also hurt her, and she’s probably madder than a wet cat right now because I didn’t trust her. The way I always asked her to trust me.”
Her head flips around, and when her eyes hit mine, I lose my balance.
“Just go away. You’re making a fool out of yourself. We don’t have anything to talk about. Remember? You wrote it down and slipped it under the door.” She sneers but I hear the little catch in her voice and my chest tightens.
I look back at the little group. They’re mesmerized by the drama unfolding in front of them.
“She’s right.” I address what I hope will be my support group over the next few minutes because I need them. “I am making a fool out of myself. So, since I have you all here to help me, I need some advice.” I take a few steps around until I’m behind her chair and watch her shift in her seat and let out a deep puff of air, looking straight ahead. “How do I win her back?”
“You don’t,” she snaps. “Just go. Please, Beck.” The pain in her voice cuts me in those soft places only she can.
My name. Her lips. Win number two.
“This is too hard, too much,” she says in a softer whisper as she pulls a shoulder up toward her left ear. “You were right, I am broken.” She spins to look up to where I’m hovering behind her, and I feel her pain.
My soul darkens knowing I’ve contributed to what hurts her.
“Tell her you love her. Tell her you’re sorry,” chimes one smiling, little lady with a lavender blouse and a crucifix around her neck.
“That’s not enough,” another cute, round, wrinkled face adds, sounding more like Promise. “You are going to have to make it up to her. Ten times over. You can’t hurt someone and just expect it all to be forgiven because you waltz in here in your fancy uniform making a spectacle in front of a bunch of old people. Show her something is different. Show her, don’t tell her.”
The crowd stares at me, then Promise, then each other again as they take a silent vote on my worthiness. Before I know it, there is a full, passionate debate raging. Raised voices fill the room, and I’ve lost complete control of the crowd.
My fingertips graze ever so lightly on the sides of her hair. I can’t stop myself. She’s so close, and every part of me feels as bound to her right now as when we gave ourselves to each other.
“Please, Promise, just talk to me.” There’s a hitch in my voice, and I have to swallow hard to continue. “I’ve never been so wrong about anything in my life as I was that day I left you in that police station. Just let me tell you how sorry I am and if you want, I’ll go.”
Her body is as still as carved ivory. My hands caress the silk of her hair, and my senses fill with her sweet floral scent. I have to close my eyes, and I say a little prayer.
“You left me there.” Her voice makes me draw in a quick breath, and I open my eyes. She doesn’t turn or move. “You said you would never leave me. I guess I misunderstood the word never.” Her voice goes from pained to accusatory, and I can feel my heart being carved from my chest because she’s right.
“I’ve never been so sorry for anything in my life.” I spin around in front of her, crouching down because when she’s ready to talk again, I want her to know I’m listening. “I got lost. I went dark, and I just wish you would have told me. When we said we would never hide anything from each other. Then I found out . . . it broke me. Knowing you couldn’t trust me with that. Couldn’t tell me everything. Give me everything. It hurt so much; I didn’t know how to live with it.”
Her hands clutch the leather bound copy of Gulliver’s Travels in her lap, the same one she read to my dad that last night, and she finally looks right into my eyes.
“I’ve never told the truth to anyone. I’ve always lied. I’ve always held something back. I don’t know why, I just do. It just feels safer. I’m sorry about that, I am. But, I knew if I told you, you’d leave. I’ve don
e awful things. I killed your family—” Her voice breaks and tears explode down her cheeks. “That was me, Beckett. You won’t ever be able to live with that. I can’t.”
Her cheeks darken with the coursing tears, and the pain in her voice feels like it’s ripping me open.
“I can live with it. I will because that’s not what matters. I made you promises, and I’m here to keep them. I’m not the premium package myself. I’ve never been able to love anyone before, but I love you. I love you like the word was made for us. But, I’ve never done this before. I got fucking scared, babe. Scared. So, it’s on me, okay? I’m here to be your champion, your anchor. The place you call home. I failed you.”
I’m falling again. Plunging into whatever she is. I fall into her with a whoosh, and I never want to come back up for air. I want to live here inside this moment when I see that flicker in her eyes, the one reserved just for when she looks at me.
The first upward curve of her lips lights me up like a fucking rocket, and I’ve got her swooped up out of that chair against me before she changes her mind.
She lights up the room with a squeal. Her fists raise a pitiful fight as the crowd in front of us forgets their squabble and the room ignites with applause and Promise’s wind-chime laughter.
“I never realized how handsome you’d look in your uniform.” She’s looking me in the eye, and I want to tell her she just saved my life. “You’re going all Richard Gere on me.” Her voice is like a love potion, and it’s running straight down into my dick.
“What do you think, folks? Should she take me back?” I spin around and give the ten members of my support group a smile.
There are giggles and the room fills with “yes” and “awwww.”
“You’re an idiot, Captain Fitzgerald.” Promise’s voice is light, and I feel the weight of our combined grief lifting.
“So does that mean you’ll take me back?” All I can do is stare at her lips, waiting to see if they form the word I need to hear.
“Yes, idiot.”
Our fan club lights up the room with more claps and cheers. But, I’m not done. I wasn’t sure how this little reunion was going to go, but I’ve got her where I want her, and I decide it’s go-big-or-go-home time.
“Okay, ladies!” I try to get the little group back on my team with a smile and a wink. “I have one more question.” I grin at Promise and set my lips quickly onto hers, trying to memorize how she tastes at this moment.
“What are you doing now?” She bites her lip to stop her grin. She’s trying to be so serious. She knows something is coming, and she tightens her arms around my neck. I’ve still got her held against me, her feet a foot off the floor.
“This is important.” I clear my throat and wait for the room to go quiet. The group sets eyes on me, and I feel my throat tighten.
Go time.
“Okay. You guys are my good luck charm. So, here’s the next question for all of you.” I take a deep breath, and I know she must be able to feel the way my heart is cracking my damn ribs right now. I can barely keep my voice from shaking. “Do you think . . .”
I look down and her eyes narrow, the wheels turning in her head, wondering what I’m up to.
The group leans forward in unison, and I give Promise a quick lift in my arms to bring her nose to nose with me.
Deep breath.
Everything is in slow motion. I focus. I don’t want there to be any doubt about what I’m about to ask. Finally, I clear my throat and stare down at the girl that holds me inside her heart. “Do you think she should marry me?”
The group lights up again, but I don’t hear them. I’m staring at her. Waiting to see something in her eyes, whatever it is.
I detect the flush of blood under her skin. I can feel it, the possessive predator in me sending me signals just from the change in her heartbeat.
“Is that how you ask me to marry you?” Her rebuke lacks sincerity, and I think I’m about to grab the damn brass ring.
“Yes. Reach into my inside pocket.” I nod down toward the right side of my chest.
Her hand comes down from around my neck, and I set her gently on the ground. I feel every movement of her fingers. Wherever she touches me, she leaves a trail of warmth.
She dips inside my jacket, the row of medals moving as she digs inside.
She slowly draws the small, white, velvet, drawstring bag out. It’s embroidered with the word “Promise” in the same blue as her eyes.
Her hands are shaking as she cradles the little bag like it’s alive.
I lift it from her palm, loosen the strings opening it, and take her left hand. Dropping to a knee, I say a little prayer.
Alright, God. You’ve had your fun, now I need you to have my back.
“Babe, I’ve known you were mine since the first moment I saw you. And, I’m no one if I’m not yours.” The lump in my throat is the size of a watermelon, and I choke on the last four words. “Will you marry me?””
She looks at the ceiling, and I feel like I’m sinking into the floor. Her cheeks turn bright, and I start to count the seconds, waiting for her lips to move.
“Babe . . . don’t make me beg.” I break into a huge smile and turn my eyes toward the silent crowd awaiting her answer, then just as quickly, I’m back on her.
Her eyelashes flutter and finally her eyes land on mine, full of wavering tears ready to spill over. My body is hot and cold, shaking and paralyzed as each second feels like years.
“You’re impossible.” I’m pretty sure her lips turn up at the corners, and every cell in my body explodes. “I should make you beg, but I won’t. Not in front of all these people. Yes, dang it. Yes, I’ll marry you, you idiot—”
I don’t wait for more words. I slip the ring on her finger. I went big, and she hardly notices. I should be pissed, I mean, I went five karats, that’s a lot of years of hazard pay, but what the fuck do I care? But, I’m not pissed, I love her more because she wouldn’t have reacted any differently if I’m come out with a brown chip of a diamond on a copper band.
I’ve got her around the waist, up and onto me with my lips, giving her no chance to change her mind.
I carry her out of the cheering room and down the hall, engraving her “yes” right onto my heart.
Bruce is giving us a long, slow clap as we come down the hall toward the front door.
“You gonna get her stuff out of my apartment again?” He raises both eyebrows before busting out a laugh. “You’re both a mess.”
With that, he shakes his head and is off. Walking as fast as most people run. His mouth already four subjects down the road, and we are long forgotten.
I settle her feet back on the ground, taking her left hand and admiring how the platinum band shines against her pale skin.
“You’re giving me goosebumps,” Promise says wistfully as I trace my fingertips over the ring and up her arm.
“You’re giving me heart palpitations.” I smile then hug her into my side.
I can only explain what I feel for her as fierce, abiding love. I’m a warrior for her.
For us.
Since the night the fire stole everything from me, I have never felt at home. Until now. She’s my home, and I will breathe my last breath making a happy one for us.
Beckett
I’m trying to be quiet, but it’s impossible.
I love her sounds.
God, I love them.
She’s the only woman who can make me moan as loud as she does and I’m not even inside her yet.
“Like that, babe?”
I slide one finger down through the soft warmth and slip inside her, feeling the delicious clutch of her walls. My mouth just left her tits with her nipples hard and high, and she’s uttering intelligible nonsense, just the way I like it.
Her back arches off the bed.
“God, you’re so wet. I love you wet.” A low groan escapes my chest as I sink two fingers deep, listening, feeling and watching how beautiful she is like this.
I sink my face into the crook of her shoulder, making a long, slow trail of alternating kisses and licks up the stretched tendon of her distended neck.
My fingers are working. Devilishly teasing her slowly, in and out, increasing my speed and friction until I see her legs spread to their limit, giving me all of her.
“That’s it . . . good girl.”
My thumb traces over her hard nub, spinning and pushing until I hear a continuous line of “oh my god’s” and “please, please don’t stop’s.”
This is the moment I live for. Right now.
A rush of moisture floods my hand as her body trembles and her mouth forgets how to form words. She is primitive, instinctual and completely mine.
She cums with a raspy whimper that turns to near sobs as I sink teeth into flesh. Leaving a deep, rose-colored mark on her shoulder before lowering my face and replacing my thumb with my lips, kissing her to another climax as I taste the wicked flavor that haunts my dreams.
I hum into her clit as I kiss and suck. “Good girl.”
Neither of us wants the day to begin, but it must. Not before I settle her mind, though. It’s six am, and I woke her with my kisses.
My cock is never far from ready for her even when I’m asleep, but today, I’m as hard as I’ve ever been. Not just because she is still as stunning to me today as she was four months ago when she gave me the honor of taking her the first time, but because today I get to help her face her demons. The protective beast in me is on its highest alert, and that always translates straight to my ever-vigilant dick.
I give her soft strokes up and down her body, letting her take a moment, and my eyes glide over her near-translucent skin, drinking her in even in the dim light.
We’ve fallen in a dance of pure joy day to day. She wanders the loft, unaware of how beautiful she is naked and without the former, self-conscious questions that plagued her mind.
When we are here alone, she wears nothing but her smile, or a rose-colored, satin robe on occasion. I want her like this with nothing between us, completely and utterly mine, and what I give her in return is all of me. Every second of every day, my mind wanders and races with how to make her life better—what is best for her, how to give her pleasure. How to keep her from harm.
