“Yes,” I tell her and I hear Ariana let out a deep breath and I wasn’t aware she was holding.
“Well, where have you been, crazy?” she asks me which causes me to laugh.
“I haven’t been able to make it, but I’m here now, and I don’t plan on leaving for that long ever again.” She smiles at me and nods her head as we exit the room Ariana looks over to me.
“Well, that was mortifying.” And I can’t help but laugh as we walk down the stairs.
“So, prince and princess.” I’m making fun of her now.
“Shut it,” she says to me as she swats at my stomach, “It was my of explaining to her what happened, and I was hoping that one day she would figure it out, didn’t realize that she would so soon, I’m going to blame that on you because I definitely wasn’t that smart at her age, and you have the smart mouth.”
“I will beg to differ on that one.” I tell her smiling at her.
Chapter Fifteen
Ariana
We stayed in Vegas for another week, seeing the sights, doing all of the tourist things, and with Chase at my side I had never had more fun than I was at that moment. He lightened my life, and I knew that I would never forget this summer; it had only been over a month since l had left South Carolina, and over a month that I had been on the road with Chase. He made me feel complete and at times that feeling was so incredibly overwhelming that I didn’t know to compete with the emotions sometimes I would pull back from him, not talking to him for hours just sitting next to him with whatever we were doing and completely staying in my own little world. I was lying on the bed reading a book that I had bought from a store around the corner when he bounded in the door,
“I have a surprise, get dressed,” he was grinning from ear to ear. I had gotten used to his outbursts; he did them frequently and he loved surprising me, I quickly got off of the bed and started getting dressed.
“Where are we going?” I asked him as I pull on a shirt over my head.
“I told you it’s a surprise.” I was constantly doing things with Chase that l never even thought of doing without him, case and point was the swimming in the bay, I would have never stripped my clothing off and jumped in for just anyone, there was just this special gift that he managed to have that could get me to do anything.
“Fine,” I grumbled as I pulled on my shorts and he is grinning the whole time, he walks up to me and cups my face in his hands, pulling me in to him and letting his mouth fall to mine, when he pulls back at first I think that he is going to say something, something that I think I want to hear from him I can see the words dancing around in his head but instead he smiles and shakes his head.
Minutes later he is dragging me by the hand out of the hotel and down the road. “Chase, where are we going?” I ask him as we make our way through the strip.
“There” he tells me pointing up to one of the tallest hotels on the strip.
“Why are we going there?” I question him.
“You’ve never seen how they have the rides on top?” I shake my head as we enter and ride up to the top of the hotel. When we walk out onto the top I feel the thin air; it seems too high up for me. My knees begin to wobble and I think that I’m going to pass out. Then I feel his grip tighten around my hand and I know that I am safe.
“Chase, I can’t.” I say on wobbly knees.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I’m afraid of heights.” I tell him as place my hand on his arm trying to stabilize myself.
“Don’t worry, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, but look there’s people already out here, it means it must be safe.” I nod my head, terrified, agreeing with him as he smiles and kisses my cheek. “Now, I’m going to show you something that I am going to do later, you have time to decide but I won’t make you do it alright?” I nod my head again. He moves me over to the side of the building. We walk inside of a room and he smiles at me, it’s a nervous smile, “I had no idea you were afraid of heights.”
“What is that?” I ask him as we walk into a room.
“Well, I’m going to jump from the side of the building.” He says it as if it’s a normal sentence to say.
“You’re going to do what?” I nearly shout at him. He laughs at me.
“Not by myself, they are going to strap me in and it’s a free fall but you have a harness that will slow you down fifteen feet from the ground.” He explains, but his explanation doesn’t make me feel any better.
“Oh,” is the only word that I can think of to say as he leans over and places a kiss on my cheek and then leads me back up to the top. We ride the rides, as terrified as I am. I’m hoping that today takes time because I don’t know if I can do the free fall jump, but before I know it I am again standing in the room feeling my knees shake underneath me.
“Do you want to do it?” I stare at him for what seems like hours before I nod my head and he looks at me stunned. “Are you sure, because you don’t have to?”
“Yeah, you jump, l jump.” I smiled to him and he laughs again, “Plus, why not conquer my fear.” The paperwork takes no time and before I know it I see Chase walking over to the room, he smiles at me and kisses me so gently I can’t help but wonder if it’s the last time that I will ever see him. I sit in the room and watch the door, waiting for a panic stricken attendant to come running out, but he doesn’t Moments later I am ushered back to where Chase disappeared from and I can feel my stomach in my throat. The attendant looks to me and smiles.
“Are you alright?” he asks
“Yeah,” I squeak out.
“Are you sure because you look really pale,” he looks at me concerned.
“Yeah, I just might throw up on the way down.” I admit and he laughs.
“You’re not going to throw up; it’s not as bad as you think it is.” He smiles to me and his smile somewhat calms me I want to ask about Chase’s jump but I can’t think once he lets me step out onto the platform, I can feel the wind rushing around me; it terrifies me even more. He tells me to step up to the ledge and I think my legs are going to buckle. I’m not sure how I am going to jump at all; I just may end up falling over the edge of this platform. When I look over I think that I am going to pass out, but I look to my sides and how secure the harness is and silently I know that I can do this.
“Are you ready?” I shake my head no and he laughs, “Take a few more deep breaths, and let me know.”
Deep breath, I can’t do this, look how high up I am, I’m going to die. I can’t I can’t….
Deep breath, Well I am strapped in, I’m sure they would have this up here if people actually died on it.
Deep breath, I can do this. Chase is down there and I just want to get back to him and never leave his side.
“Alright,” I tell him after three breaths.
“3… 2… 1…” he says and I feel my feet leave the platform, I feel an instant rush, and I feel completely free. This is everything I have been looking for in my life, this summer, this jump, Chase, all of the these things have come to show me how to live again, to show me what it feels like to be whole. Chase makes me whole and I love him for it. Falling 108 stories will do that to a person, make them think about everything, with only wind passing your ears you tend to clear your mind, if only for the thirty seconds that it takes me to fall to the ground I finally let myself feel for the first time since I was fifteen.
I feel myself slow and when I look up I see Chase standing there smiling, and my legs don’t give out like I think that they would want to instead I smile at him, a wider smile than I have had in a long time. He has taught me how to live again. When I’m unbuckled I run into his arms and kiss him.
“I’m guessing that you liked it?” he asked pulling me into his embrace and I quickly nod my head. “Good, we could go actually bungee jumping.”
“One step at a time,” I tell him which causes him to laugh out.
It has been six weeks since Chase has come back knocking at my door, two weeks he stuc
k around coming by everyday watching Av when I had to work, unfortunately he has to actually go back to work, which I found out that he moved to Orlando, we never talk about us, but we talk about Av all the time, and I can’t help but to notice how great he is with her. He tells us that we have to come down for Thanksgiving next month, and I tell him that we will. Thanksgiving every year for us has not been great, since my father isn’t around it’s usually just Av an I. Hannah goes home to see her family, and we are stuck Watching really bad cartoons and having to tolerate my awful cooking.
I am good at many things... cooking does not seem to be one of them. My phone rings as I am driving home from school, getting ready to stop to pick up Av, and looking down I see that it is Chase.
“Hello,” I say pressing the Bluetooth button on my steering wheel.
“Good afternoon, baby momma.” He makes me laugh with his good mood. I’m not sure why he feels the need to call me that
“What are you doing?” I ask, laughing.
“Well, I just got off the phone with my mother,” he pauses but he doesn’t continue.
“Alright, I’ll bite and. . . wait, when did you start talking to your mother again?” I ask sounding shocked.
“Well after California, I went home, I actually stayed home for some time before I headed back to Florida, and we have been working on our relationship since, it isn’t an easy fix, but we are trying.” He tells me and then starts again, “Anyways, she says that it’s too cold to stay in Tennessee for Thanksgiving, that they are expecting a foot of snow.”
“Okay,” I say out loud in the emptiness of my car as I pull into the parking lot, “I’m confused.”
“What is really happening is she doesn’t want to ask if she can come to my house for Thanksgiving,”
“I’m still lost.” I admit to him.
“I’m not going to lie; she already knew about you, she knew that I was trying to find you that I was going out of my mind to find you, well when I got back here I had called her telling her that I found you, she was through the roof excited, in my mother’s weird sort of excitement, but she asked a lot of questions, I tried to explain to her that the situation was now complicated. When she asked how I had to tell her about Av, that’s why she wants to come to Thanksgiving, because I told her that the two of you were coming.”
“Oh, well that’s great, I guess.” I could hear his amusement through the phone.
“I can tell her no, if you guys want me too.” I think that he sounds hopeful that I don’t want her there.
“No, I mean, well it’s just awkward, but she has a right to meet Avery.” I shrug to no one in particular.
“I’m just going to warn you now that she is interesting.”
The only thing I ever remember Chase telling me about his mother was how he thought she secretly hated him for killing Matt.
Chase
My mother, Avery, and Ariana, in the same room; GREAT this is going to interesting.
After I hang up with Ariana I dial my mother’s number.
“Chase,” she answers coldly. Although we were working on our relationship it was still slightly estranged.
“Hey mom; if you want to come here for Thanksgiving you is more than welcome.”
“I don’t want to intrude.” She infuriates me.
“No, I just called and talked with Ariana, you know just so it wouldn’t be a shock and all to her. Plus, she is bringing Avery all the way here."
“Alright, if you insist, she is alright with me coming,” she asks me.
“Yes, mom she is.” I tell her knowing that she is just really trying to get me to beg her to come.
“Alright well when should I fly in.” there isn’t the slightest bit of excitement in her voice.
“What about the 21st?” I offer.
“But that’s the day before Thanksgiving,” she scoffs.
“Yeah mom, they are getting here on the 18, so they have some time to get settled in and comfortable.” I know that she doesn’t care if I’m annoyed.
“Well, fine I’ll just be the last relative to come in.” she’s trying to guilt trip me.
“Mom, it’s only going to be the four of us. I just want to make sure that they are comfortable.” I try to explain to her.
“Well what are the sleeping arrangements going to he?” she is interested by this. She’s fishing to see if we are together.
“Well first mom,” I’m sure that I sound cold, but I don’t care, “I’m not sure how that’s any of your business seeing as it is my house, but if you must know l am not sure, We still haven’t talked about us.”
“Well why not?” She asks.
“Because life got into the way,” l raise my voice slightly at her.
“There is no need to yell at me Chase.” And she hangs up. I switch my screens over to text Ariana and send. . .
Reconsidering the invite to my mother… warning in advance she can be a handful
Ariana- Ha, I understand frustrating parents
It made me remember that she did understand. I’m not sure that anyone else understands how I feel about her.
Chapter sixteen
Ariana
Since Chase came back into my life all I have been able to recall about my life are parts that include him.
When we left Vegas I was sad. I had never had more fun than when we were there. Chase had convinced me to do so many interesting things, jumping off of a building just happened to be one of them. We were finally headed for California and the summer was growing old by then. We knew that soon we would have to go our separate ways, but neither one of us would talk about it. l am watching the desert at our side slide past us when Chase finally speaks up, the first time that either one of us has talked in over an hour, we had this great relationship where we could go hours without speaking. The darkness is starring to close in around us.
“So, Carolina?” he asks me and I can hear the slight sadness in his voice.
“Yeah,” neither one of us had talked about what we were going to do when the summer ended, “It’s where my dad graduated from so-,” I trail off knowing that he will put the pieces together without me saying them out loud.
“You got forced to go there?” he says.
“Something like that.” I tell him.
“Have you thought about Florida State?” I hear the hesitation in his voice as he asks me. It is actually pretty fucking adorable.
“Well I hadn’t,” I don’t want to tell him that when I got there. .. with him. . . then I wondered.
“Well, I’m just brain storming over here, but what about transferring there in the spring?” I smile and look over to him.
“Do you want me at the same school with you?” I tease him, smiling.
“Well it’s a really good school,” he pauses, looking slightly embarrassed, and my grin widens. “And yes, I want you at the same school as me.” And then as life decides to ruin the moment I hear a noise and when I look up to the front of the car I see smoke billowing out of the engine.
“Um, Chase,” I say pointing to the front of the car as he slows down and jumps out. I watch as he pries open the hood and looks inside.
“SHIT,” he shouts fanning smoke away.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him slowly opening the door and walking around the front of the car.
“Fucking blown head gasket.” He says as he slams the hood back down causing me to jump.
“Well, can you fix it?” I ask him wondering.
“Sure, if there was an auto parts store any fucking where around us.” He snaps at me. I cut my eyes at him before I walk over to the door and open it again.
“So, what are we going to do until then?” I asked him curiously.
“Well, I don’t fucking know, just wait until the morning.” He’s still snapping at me as if I caused this.
“We can’t call a cab?” I ask him.
“Ariana,” my name cuts me, “look around do you think that there are any cab companies out here? Plus we bot
h thought that it was an ingenious idea to leave both of our cellphones so I can’t call one to come and get us.” he bites our at me, I then decide that instead of taking anymore shit I’m just going to sit in the car and not talk to him. I swing open the door and slide inside quickly. I rummage in the backseat only momentarily, to find my IPOD and ear buds, and slip them into my ears, quickly turning on the music to drain him out. I watch him in the mirrors for moment as he paces the car and kicks the wheels. I sigh leaning the seat back and propping my feet on the dashboard. I turn up my music as I begin to hear him cursing at the car. I think I fall asleep some point shortly after because I wake up to Chase shaking me as my eyes flutter open he seems calmer. I see his mouth move but I cannot understand what he is saying.
“What?” I ask him. I see him laughs but it sounds like a hollow laugh and then he reaches over and pulls out my ear bud that I had forgotten I had put in.
“I’m sorry I’m an asshole, come here.” He says smiling and holding out his hand. I reluctantly take a hold of it and let him pull me out of the car. He smiles and then leans over and kisses me on the cheek.
He leads me through the emptiness and I feel the chill starting to sink into my skin. When he stops I look around confused until I look down and see the blankets that he has spread out on the ground before us. Like Dr. Jekyll and fucking Mr. Hyde.
“I figured since we are in a bad situation we could make the best out of it.” I smile to him and nod my head. “Lay down with me?” he asks me and he sits down at me feet. I move to the blankets with him. He pulls up one of the blankets and wraps us in them.
“I’m sorry I overreacted like that.” He whispers into my ear and I nod my head. “No, Ariana, look I really am sorry. That car is the only thing that I really have.”
Up for the Chase Page 8
