“Thank you,” I whisper to Ariana, before she lets out a fit of laughter.
Right before we get ready to leave I decide that I need to use the restroom, and if you have never used a bathroom in a kindergarten hallway, I advise you never to try to, because they are, indeed, made for a six year old. Which would also be easier to use if I didn’t try and use the urinal.
As I am walking out of the restroom I see the same mother from the classroom stopped in the hallways as I panic as I look around trying to find as exit from the hallway immediately, but before I am able to; she stalks over to me and blocks my exit. Like a gazelle would that is about to eat her pray.
“I know the two of you are not together.” She insists.
“I don’t know what you mean?” She pins me on the wall. I’m panicking.
“I’m just saying big boy, if you ever want to be shown how a real woman works come find me,” she says right before she licks my face. I can’t help the cringe that shows on my face.
We’re driving home and I hear Ariana laughing to my side.
“She did what?” She whispers to me.
“She licked my face.” I tell her horrified but she finds this situation to be funnier than anyone could imagine.
“Oh god that is priceless, I wish I could have seen your face.” I glare over to her before she begins to laugh again.
When we arrive to her house I am trying not to smile, I have arranged a party for her because of her graduation tomorrow. She pushes open the door, still laughing about my face being licked, and flips on the lights as everyone jumps out to yell “Surprise.” She looks to me and I smile.
This time she mouths a thank you to me.
After Av is well in bed and the party has dwindles down to a select few people I walk over to Ariana and lean down to whisper into her ear, “Will you meet me out back in ten minutes,” she turns to look up to me and nods.
I am sitting outside terrified of what I am going to say, it all sounds amazing in my mind but I know that once I start talking I will stumble over my words. I am staring up to the stars when she walks outside and sits down next to me.
“Why did you want me to come out here?” She asks.
“I wanted to give you your present.” I tell her.
“My present? Chase the party was enough.” She insists.
“No, it wasn’t. Ariana, you are extraordinary and you deserve so much more.” I pause as I look back to the stars, “I cannot look at the stars for long periods of time without thinking about coyotes; do you know that?” She laughs and looks down. “Here’s your present,” I hand her the wrapped Tiffany’s box and she gasps.
“Chase, you shouldn’t have.”
“You haven’t even opened it yet.” She smiles as she pulls the bow and opens the box to reveal the sterling silver heart with the rose gold lock on it; the pendant is on a silver chain.
“Chase,” she gasps and she places a hand over
“Ariana, I know that I fuck things up, again, but I love you, and I’m not expecting anything from this. I just want you to know that you have my heart; you always have, it has always only been you. My heart is yours, even if I don’t deserve yours.”
She stares at me as I look up to her and her fingers cover mine as the alcohol begins to consume me and I pull her to me. I kiss her hard on the mouth as she stands up and pulls me up with her. We push through the house and for a split second I worry about people being in the living room, but it is empty I can only guess that everyone has gone home. I hear the creeks as we start to walk up the stairs and her bedroom door pushes open. She pushes me down onto the bed and kneels over me and as she reaches for my shirt she stops and pulls back.
“Chase,”
“What?” I am panting for her; I have never wanted anyone so bad in my life.
“l love you, but we are terrible for one another.” I cannot control my laugher as she looks confused to me.
“I’m alright with that. You can be my drug.” I say grabbing her by the hips and flipping her onto her back.
Ariana
I didn’t drink that much tonight, so as I am watching Chase leaning over my body as he undresses me I know that I am completely sober. Although I am naked lying in front of him before I even know it.
“Ariana, you are incredible.” I blush slightly as he trails kisses on my body all the way down to my hips and he lightly bits on each side, which causes me to moan out, I try to stay quiet not wanting to wake up Av. When I feel the warmth of his mouth around me I feel as if it is too much to bear, having not had sex since November. He sucks on me and I already feel as if my insides are going to collapse. I thrash my head back onto the bed and I feel my nails begin to dig into his back as his tongue darts to find all the right places and I explode around it. “and you taste incredible as well.” he tells me as he places kisses all along my body back up to my mouth and without warning me beforehand he thrust himself into me and I can help and I cry out. “God, baby, you feel better than I remember,” he whispers as he thrusts into my body and I feel him reaching deeper and deeper. He picks up my legs and flips me over to where I am on my knees and I bite down on my lip even if he cannot see it. I pull myself up onto the headboard and as he pumps his hips into me and pushes me harder and harder up against it
Mere seconds after I feel our release simultaneously we collapse onto the bed, and he lies staring at me right before I get up to walk into the bathroom.
When I let myself emerge I see Chase putting on his clothing and starting to walk out the door
“Where are you going?” I ask him.
“Look, I know what you meant by we’re terrible together, and I guess in a way you are right,” I can see the sadness and hurt all over his face, “I meant it when I told you that I love you. You have my heart Ariana, you always will.” He turns to walk out of the room and down the hall. I stand at the door frame watching him make his way out of the house and I want to ask him to stop I want to tell him not to leave. I lean my head against that doorframe as I hear the door shut and I let myself slide to the bottom whispering, “I love you, too.”
I let myself sit as minutes pass by and I finally pull myself up off the floor at two in the morning. Walking to the front door and locking it and then walking out to the backyard, I had left the box outside when we came in and I snatch it off the table and lock the door behind me as I make my way up to the bedroom.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ariana
I’m finally graduating from college today, but I’m not happy. Last night when Chase left I felt a part of me leave as well. I finish my make up as I reach into the box and clasp the necklace he gave me last night around my neck and tuck in under my blouse.
The day passes before I even realize it, and I wish that I could slow it down so that I would be able to enjoy it, but before I know it we are all in the car and heading back to my house. Chase is next to me, and I can’t stop my hands from fidgeting.
“Why are you so nervous?” I hear Hannah ask as I walk into my house.
“What?” I pause looking around, “Oh, no reason.”
She gasps as she looks to me and pulls me into the kitchen, “You slept with him.” She almost shouts and I look around the room making sure that no one heard her.
“Shh,” I hush her.
“Ariana,” I watch as the grin begins to form on her lips.
“Ugh, I made a terrible decision.” I tell her as l lean over the island in the kitchen.
“Terrible? I would say probably the best decision you’ve made since you decision to travel across the country with him.” I’m shocked that she would say that.
“What do you mean?” I ask her.
“I mean that you two are idiots. You guys are made for each other but both of you are too stubborn to even try, because of Avery.” She mocks me.
“She doesn’t deserve to be confused every time we get into a fight.” I explain to her
“Really R, listen to yourself.” She stops and look
s to me, and it reminds me of the way my mother used to scold me. “You two are meant to be together.”
“How can you say that we are perfect for each other?” I ask.
“If anyone is perfect for one another it’s you and Chase. He loves you more than I have ever seen anyone love someone, hell he found you when you made sure no one would.”
“But we are terrible for one another, we drive one another crazy, and we always end up fighting.” I tell her.
“R, I’m going to tell you this as your best friend. Stop thinking so much just try living for a little bit.”
“But I have a six-year old.” I defend myself.
“Oh, that’s a copout. Even when you have a child you still need to do things for yourself.” I stare back at her and I know that she is right, but I cannot bring myself to admit it to her. Instead I just turn around and walk back into the living room. I can’t help but glance over to Chase as he is playing with Av it makes my heart swell that is until I see Hannah watching me and I quickly turn my head and look away, I see the smirk on her face.
I am walking up stairs to my bedroom as Chase comes out of Avery’s bedroom from putting her to sleep.
“Hey,” he mumbles out as I smirk. Then right before I am able to seek coverage in my bedroom I hear him say, “Ariana, do we need to talk?”
I sigh and look to him nodding my head as l open the door trying to tell him that it is alright. We both sit down on the bed next to one another, and for whatever reason I cannot seem to get the images of last night out of my mind.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen last night when I gave you the necklace.” He doesn’t even look over to me.
“Chase don’t we just have to accept that we aren’t any good for one another.” I say twisting my head to look at him.
“Bullshit Ariana, you’re a liar.” He gets up and paces to the other side of the room.
“Excuse me?” I say standing up and look over to him.
“You heard me, you are a fucking liar. You know just as well as I do that we fucking perfect together, do we aggravate that shit out of one another, sure. Do we sometimes what to shake one another so hard because We get so angry, yes, but who doesn't.” He’s starting to yell. d
“It’s just that with everything I’m not sure if it’s something that we should try again.” I tell him without looking to him
“Bullshit, look my in the eyes and say that.” I shake my head and I hear him take several steps toward me. ‘You can’t Ariana because as much as you don’t want to admit it you fucking love me,”
“No,” l shout at him, too loud. He smiles at me and takes a step closer to me.
“No?” he questions and I nod my head telling him that I don’t. He leans into me and snakes his hand around my waist. “Then why does your breathing quicken when I touch you?” I shrug my shoulders. “Why do I catch you watching me from across the room?” I don’t say anything but I feel my body begin to tighten up as he leans in closer to me and moves his hand up my back. His mouth is at my cheek and I can feel his breathing on my neck as he begins to whisper and it sends chills down my body. “Why did you kiss me last night?” I know he isn’t exactly asking me these questions anymore. Then I feel him tug at the necklace that is still hidden by my shirt. “And why do you have the necklace on right now?” He smiles and then pulls back looking to me, he lets me go and begins to walk to the door.
“Why did you leave last night?” I finally work up the nerve to say, and he laughs.
“Because I couldn’t take it if you threw me out again especially after what had just happened,”
“Which is what you are getting ready to do again even after you just called me out on all my shit?”
“What are you saying?” he turns around and looks to me.
“I’m saying that you’re right. I’m saying that I do fucking love you.”
“Then what is it?” He asks stalking closer to me.
“You’re terrible for me, and not like oh you’re an awful person, but for whatever reason with you I lose my sense of judgment.”
“Is that entirely a bad thing?” He asks cocking his head to the side.
“Chase, I was sort of well-grounded when I met you and I somehow managed to drive across the country for three months with you. Because you thought it was a good idea.”
“Ariana, you leave out the most important part of that story.”
“And what was that?” I snap back to him.
“I showed you how to live without fear.” I feel the pad of his thumb rub across my cheek, his voice lowers slightly, “Ariana look at me,” I let my eyes roam back up to his. “If I could go back to that day I would, I would change everything that I did. I have ran through it a million times, what things would have been like if I would have stayed, what would have happened had I told you that I loved you. We made each other better that summer, hell we still make each other better. You just have to let yourself admit it.” I know that he is right, but I don’t want to admit it. I cannot let myself become hurt by him again. I can’t let him have that power over me again.
“Chase, we are terrible for each other.” I whisper out, “It doesn’t matter if we love one another. We will never work out.” I say, but for whatever reason I can't manage to look him in the eye. I hear him chuckle under his breath, but it’s not as if he is finding the situation funny. It’s a sad laugh.
“Whatever Ariana,” he opens my bedroom door and begins to walk out, but before he makes it all the way out he stops and looks over his shoulder, “If you change your mind my flight is at noon tomorrow.” And he leaves. I don’t sit and cry at the door this time, because I know that even though I hear him closing the door I know that I am the one who is walking away.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chase
When I left Ariana’s house last night, I knew that she wasn’t going to show up at the airport; mainly because she is too stubborn to let me know that I was right. It is one of the many traits that I completely love about her, she isn’t afraid to stand her ground, but sometimes it fucking pisses me off more than anything. The day that she threw me out of her house I should have told her no, I should have told her that we were doing well and she wasn’t going to get away from me again. I shouldn’t have let her just push me out, but I did and now I have to figure out how I am going to convince her to let me stay around this time.
I don’t sleep all night, but yet I stay awake and stare out the window of my hotel room. I can see Ariana’s house from here, not in a weird way like I did it on purpose I just happened to get a room facing her house. I look out the window in her direction and I see her light stays on the majority of the night. When I finally decide to lay down and try to sleep I can’t help but dream of her.
It was the last day that I was in California; I woke her up as the light was falling over her face, she looked up at me and I could see the love filling her eyes. l could handle the look in her eyes that morning, but something about hearing her confirm them scared the hell out of me. I remember looking at her and thinking just how completely beautiful that she was; I still feel that way.
Nine comes before I want it too, and although I haven’t gone to sleep yet I still take my time getting out of bed. When I finally arrive at the airport; two hours early like most crazy people do, I am standing in line waiting.
After an hour, and after I am through security I see more people filling in the seats around me.
Ariana
“What do you mean you sent him away?” I hear Hannah shout in my ear as I shut the fridge door and walk over to my coffee and pour the creamer into it.
“I mean I told him that we were terrible together.” I explain to Hannah.
“How do you figure?” I hear her ask me as I sit down on the barstool that sits at my island.
“I mean that I have a complete lack of judgment when he is around.”
“R, that doesn’t mean that you are terrible for one another.” She tells me.
“Then what does it mean?” I ask her now really interested in what she is going to say.
Chase
Ariana fills my mind, I can’t stop thinking about her, and I am consciously looking around hoping that I find her walking up to me, which I know is absurd because she isn’t allowed back to this point.
“Afraid of flying?” I hear someone ask to my side as I look over I see an elderly man staring next to me.
“No,” I mumble to him.
“Ahh, than it is a girl.” He doesn’t ask it as a question but he tells me as a statement.
“Am I that transparent?” I ask him.
“Son, there’s two reasons why someone has that nervous look on their face in an airport; it’s either because they are terrified of flying, or they know that they are making a terrible decision and leaving something important.” I know he’s right.
“She doesn’t want me to stay.” I tell him.
“The way that you are looking for her, I bet you she does and that she’s just too afraid to admit it to herself. Son, in my life I have learned that women are beyond stubborn.” I look to him and I smile.
Ariana
“Have you ever thought that the reason you don’t think is because you know that you can trust him with your life. R, there are not many people like that out there. You two are made for each other, and if you can’t work it out than I don’t know what the rest of us are going to do.” I feel my eyes getting wider as I hear her tell me the things that I already know but have never wanted to admit to myself.
“Dear god, Han, I’m making a terrible decision aren’t I?” I finally realize.
“Yes, R, you are an idiot.”
Up for the Chase Page 12
