She ignored the shouted cusswords as she turned and ran for her car. Her stomach twisted and her face burned, and all she wanted to do right then and there was die. She just wanted to fucking die, leave this world, leave all the hurt and disappointment behind. But as she started up the car, as she sped past Frank as he helped Christina back to her feet, she found herself driving toward Judy’s.
Judy’s car was in the driveway, but her husband’s wasn’t. For that, Cecilia was grateful. This encounter would be strange and awkward enough without him here. She sat in her idling car, parked at the curb, and stared at the house. The drapes were drawn, but she thought she saw movement within.
What the hell am I going to say? she thought. Hey, Judy, remember that dead baby you were trying to give me? You still got it?
But the first thing she had to do was meet this child. Judy’s youngest, the one that supposedly was given to her by a fairy.
A fairy? What in the hell is wrong with me?
Even as she exited her car and walked toward the front door, she couldn’t believe what she was going to do, couldn’t believe she was buying into this. But it was something. At this point, she would try anything, and if someone like Judy believed in this fairy, then who’s to say it’s not real?
The sound of her knuckles against the door seemed to echo off the surrounding houses. She thought she saw a flutter at the window beside the door, but when she turned to look, nothing was there.
She knocked again.
“It’s not a good time, Celia.” The voice sounded tired, pathetic almost.
“I’m here about…about what we talked about last night.”
A long pause. “I told you, I was tired. I apologized, okay? Can we just drop it?”
“Please, Judy. Can I come in? I…I’m sorry I reacted the way I did, all right? I’m willing to try it. I’m willing to try anything.” She saw Frank in her mind again, his arm wrapped lovingly around Christina’s waist.
The knob turned, but the door opened just a crack. “We can talk about this later. It really is a bad time. My—”
“Can I meet him? Your son? Please, Judy, I just want to see for myself.”
Right on cue, there was a high-pitched squeal from the depths of the house. Judy flinched, turned her head, eyes toward the ceiling. Her hand, visibly quivering, went to her forehead. “Come in. But you can’t stay long,” she said. “If Cliff gets here and sees you, he’ll have a cow.”
Cecilia nodded, entered the home as Judy opened the door wider. Another piercing shriek from upstairs. Judy whimpered, took a deep breath, then smiled at Cecilia.
“He can be a handful sometimes, but it’s worth it.”
The home was warm, with the smell of cinnamon-apple air freshener lingering about, and a hint of something burning.
“Are you cooking something?”
Judy threw her hands in the air. “Oh shit, it’s ruined now.” She went toward the kitchen, but when Cecilia tried to follow, she put up her hands. “No, no. I’ve got it.” She laughed, eyes darting back upstairs. “Just, uh…just stay right here, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Judy rushed into the kitchen, pulling a pan from the stove, waving her hand over it. Gray smoke billowed from it, thickened the air with a sour cooked-meat smell. Judy blurted a few expletives, then tossed whatever it was into the sink.
Pounding footsteps from above.
Cecilia inched toward the staircase, looked up at the second floor.
The boy smiled down at her, eyes wide and unblinking. He gripped the wooden poles of the railing like a prisoner in his cell, glared down at Cecilia. The boy’s baby teeth gleamed, a string of drool stretching from his bottom lip. Then he slid his face, left to right then right to left, across the poles: thunk thunk thunk thunk. Back and forth, again and again, his smile never faltering. Thunk thunk thunk thunk.
“That’s Billy.”
Cecilia yelped, held her hand to her chest, turned to face Judy who now stood beside her, gazing at her son.
“He’s…he’s adorable. Looks very much like you.”
The boy stood, never blinking, never unfastening his smile, and ran off out of sight. There were some pounding sounds, followed by a cacophony of squeals and grunts.
“He’s just hungry,” Judy said. “Got him in a cranky mood.”
“And you…you got him from a fairy?” Just saying the words made Cecilia feel ridiculous, and she couldn’t help but titter.
“I think maybe we need to sit down.”
They made their way into the living room where they sat on the sofa beside each other.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“Please, Judy, what the hell is going on? Help me understand all of this.”
Judy sighed, gripped her knees, and half faced Cecilia. “I tried to explain it to you last night, but I understand your apprehension. Hell, when I first heard about it, I laughed it off. But Billy is proof. The fairy is real, and he can help you.”
“But…a fairy? Really? You mean like an angel?”
Judy flared her nostrils. “No, not exactly. It’s not something I can really describe, but he’s real. That much I can tell you.”
“Why would I put a dead baby under my pillow? It’s so…”
“I know. Believe me, none of this is pleasant. None of it. But think about it like childbirth. After all the pain, after it’s all said and done, it’ll be worth it. You’ll have your baby.”
All the pain?
Judy stared at the floor, squinting, lost in some memory. “I’m not sure why you have to put it under your pillow. Maybe that’s just how fairies work, I don’t know. All I know is that you have to. He won’t come if you don’t. And you have to hang the placenta outside of your window so he knows to enter. Think of it as an invitation.
“And then…and then he’ll come. He’ll take the baby…and…and he eats it. He eats it right then and there. And…”
Cecilia shook her head. “Judy, I’m doing my best to have an open mind here. I really am…but come on—”
“You came here because you wanted to know, now shut up and listen. He eats it, and then he impregnates you.” She covered her face with both palms.
“Impregnates you?”
Judy turned and faced Cecilia, eyes wide and red rimmed. “He fucks you. He fucks you until the job is done, until you’re pregnant. And it works, Celia. It works.”
Another squeal.
“I have to feed Billy. And Cliff should be home soon.” She scooted closer, reached over and squeezed Cecilia’s thigh. “I have something for you. Just wait here.”
Judy hurried off. The air filled with the same savory smell, and Cecilia was reminded of how hungry she was. But even with her stomach churning, she knew she wouldn’t be able to eat. Not now…not today.
Judy returned with a small cooler, set it at Cecilia’s feet.
“Is this…?”
“You know what it is. I had a feeling you’d be back. Your maternal instinct…it’s impossible to ignore, Celia. And yours is strong. You deserve this, deserve a baby of your own.”
Cecilia stood, almost ran out of the house, leaving the cooler behind and pretending none of this was happening. But she reached down and picked it up.
“Be strong. You can get through it, and when it’s all over, just think of how happy you’ll be.”
Cecilia nodded, hugged her friend with her free arm. “Th-thank you. This is—”
“Go. And good luck.”
The door clicked shut behind her the moment she had crossed over the threshold. She hurried to her car, slid into the driver’s seat, set the cooler in the passenger seat, and just stared at it. Red fingerprints stained the lid, and a gamey scent swirled off of it.
Just then, a green SUV pulled into the driveway. Cliff stepped out of the car, the sun deepening the lines on hi
s haggard face. He stood there in the driveway for a moment, stared at the upstairs window, stayed that way for a few minutes, not moving a muscle. He finally strode to the door and disappeared behind it.
Cecilia reached over, lifted the lid just enough to get a peek. She saw a loop of umbilical cord, thick and purple and glistening, and one bloody foot. She slammed the lid shut, thrust her head backwards against the headrest. Her hand went to her belly—flat and lifeless—and she knew she had to do this.
She would invite the fairy into her bedroom tonight.
And then she could finally be the mother she always knew she could be.
Cecilia hammered a nail outside of her bedroom window, hung the placenta from it, tying the cord into a small bow to hold it up. Dark blood dripped from the sac, leaving streaks down her siding like black tears.
“Come and get it,” she said, then pulled herself back into the house, leaving the window open just a crack. The baby still sat in the cooler, and she decided she would put it under her pillow just before going to bed. She didn’t know if it was a requirement to actually lay her head on the pillow, or if she could use a different one, but she didn’t want to take any chances. Judy had mentioned that she had felt the baby under her head, so that’s what Cecilia would do, just the way she used to when she was a girl and lost a tooth. She remembered how excited she used to get, couldn’t wait to wake up the next morning and see how much money the fairy had left her.
Her body shook and she paced the room. She had checked herself in the mirror probably a hundred times by now, but she strode to the bathroom again, inspected her reflection. The red-lace nightie she used to wear for Frank on special occasions was draped over her body; she always felt sexy in it, loved the way it accentuated her curves. She puckered her lips, covered in red, then checked her teeth one more time to make sure there weren’t any lipstick marks. Her finger- and toenails gleamed, freshly painted red to match her lips.
Whoever this fairy was, she wanted to look good for him. She couldn’t help but imagine an angel. A fairy sounded too…girly, too pink. In her mind, she saw a muscular man, pecs rippling and bulging, wearing nothing but a loincloth. He would sweep into her room, great white wings like an eagle, and would float down on top of her, make love to her gently, lovingly. She would wrap her legs around his waist, run her fingers through his blond, feathery hair.
He’ll take the baby…and…and he eats it. He eats it right then and there.
The fantasy disintegrated and left Cecilia full of anxiety and confusion. She strode to the kitchen where she poured her third glass of wine. Skittles yelped from the backyard, scraping the glass of the sliding back door.
“Sorry, honey. Not tonight. Tonight Mama needs her privacy.”
Skittles whined, left snotty streaks across the glass surface with her nose.
A light rapping sound clicked from her bedroom, and she hurried down the hall, fixing her hair as she went. But it was just the window being swayed by the breeze.
Relax, Cecilia. Just calm down.
Besides, the baby was still in the cooler. Judy said he wouldn’t come unless the baby was under her pillow.
She downed the rest of her wine, took a long, deep breath and plucked the cold, slippery fetus from the cooler. It looked like a big cherry gummy bear, and she cradled it as if it were her own child, mentally apologizing to it for using it in this way, for feeding it to…to the fairy.
After gently laying the baby down on the bed, then lightly pressing her pillow over it, she laid her head on top and sighed. She could feel its tiny form under her, but she did her best to ignore it, tried to allow sleep to take her.
Cecilia thought about her mother, how she would sit on the edge of Cecilia’s bed after she’d lost a tooth. “You have to go to sleep,” she would say. “Otherwise, the tooth fairy won’t come.” And she remembered squeezing her eyes shut and saying her ABCs over and over and over again, until finally her excitement lost the battle against her sleepiness, and she would drift off into slumberland.
So she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling fan go round and round. “A b c d e f g…” she whispered the letters, clutched at her stomach to try and stop the fluttering, “…h i j k l m n o p…” her eyes rolled toward the window, and she could just see the gleam of the hanging placenta; she could only hope she’d done everything right, that the fairy would accept her invitation, “…q r s t u v w x y and z.”
She clamped her eyes shut, repeated the song. And finally, after what felt like a lifetime, she conked out.
A fluttering sound, like a thousand hummingbirds.
Cecilia’s eyes popped open. At first, the room was too dark to see anything, but she blinked the fog away, looked toward the window.
Which stood wide open.
As her vision adjusted to the night, she saw him. Or it.
The fairy was the size of a man, but he floated there, just inside of the window. The wings moved so fast they were just a blur, and the sound they made sent tickling fingers down Cecilia’s back, like scraping a ceramic plate with a fork. It had four wings from what she could tell, like a dragonfly, and an equal amount of eyes that stared at her through a milky film, tiny black pupils trained on her, studying her.
It opened its mouth, shrieked, the sound like a bird of prey, and then it zoomed toward her.
Cecilia screamed, turned her head, but didn’t run. She knew she had to be strong, had to let this play out. It was the only way.
The fairy hovered above her, and she could get an even better look now. Beams of silver moonlight strobed into the room, illuminated the fairy’s pinkish flesh, the color and wetness of raw chicken. It had no lips, its black teeth flat and sharp like razor blades, and its humanlike tongue slithered out, slid across the front of them.
It reached down with its clawed, three-fingered hand, lifted the pillow. Cecilia shut her eyes, let her body roll to the side as the creature claimed its prize. A smell like freshly cut pumpkin wafted from the creature’s flesh, and though not entirely unpleasant, it still turned Cecilia’s stomach.
Then her head rolled back as the pillow was set down; she kept her eyes closed, refused to watch what she knew came next. She could feel that the baby was no longer there, and she held her breath, clenched shaking fists at her sides.
A wet lapping sound, much like Skittles when she licked her paws. A low moan was just audible below the licking, and the maddening humming of the wings was ever-present.
When she heard the first crunch, she shuddered, whimpered, but didn’t move her position. The chewing continued, each crunch making her flinch, making her regret her decision. She cursed Judy in her mind, couldn’t believe her friend would make her do this, would instruct her to invite this monster into her bedroom.
It’s the only way. You know that. After this, you’ll have your baby, what you’ve always wanted. You can finally be a mother.
But no matter how many times she told herself that, no matter how necessary she knew this was, it still didn’t seem right. This repulsive creature couldn’t possibly give her a child. She thought about Billy, his unblinking eyes and wide smile. The boy looked normal—for the most part—resembled Judy even. This is going to work, she thought. It has to.
Then the humming of the wings stopped. Just halted all of a sudden. The quiet of the room was maddening, and Cecilia opened her eyes to make sure the fairy hadn’t left, though she wasn’t sure if she would be disappointed or relieved if it had.
The creature stood at the foot of her bed, a bloody arm hanging from its mouth like a string of spaghetti it was about to slurp. It tilted its head back and swallowed, licked the fluid from the front of its teeth. The fairy’s stomach was caved in, hairless and webbed with thin blue veins that spread across the flesh like cracked glass. Its ribs pressed tight against the skin, bulging as it breathed.
“Please…please don’t hurt m-me.” Cecilia cou
ldn’t help but back away from the creature as it lifted itself onto the bed and crawled after her.
It reached out and gripped her hips, pulled her closer. The claws of its hand bit into her flesh, penetrated the skin, dug deeper as she struggled against its grasp. The thing’s four pupils darted from her face to her groin, its tiny nostril holes widening with every breath. Her nightie was pulled up; the fairy leaned in and sniffed, rubbed its face against her sex. The claws pressed deeper still, and Cecilia let out a cry, her fingernails scraping jagged red lines down her face.
Then the nightie was torn away, exposing her nude body, now covered in sweat. The fairy leaned back, stood on its knees. Another shriek exploded from its throat; the four translucent wings flitted once.
Below its emaciated belly, a slit opened up, like a giant eye awakening from a deep slumber. Something began to extrude from the opening, pushing forward, thick and venous.
“No…no, please. Please don’t.”
The fairy yanked her across the bed, tearing her flesh. Its tongue lolled from between its teeth, its chest heaving with terrible rhythm. When its long member touched the inside of Cecilia’s thigh, sizzling her flesh like a hot curling iron, she screamed, tried to pull away, but the fairy held her tight.
And then it was in her, deep, stirring her viscera. The fairy’s wings fluttered with every scalding thrust, and each one felt like a branding iron being shoved inside of her. She reached up to try and push him away, but it was like pushing up against a brick wall. The creature was unmovable, and as it continued to ravish her, dig into her, it leaned over and ran its tongue over her neck, sniffed her hair.
Cecilia whimpered, cried through clenched teeth. Sweat poured from her face, gluing strands of hair to her forehead and neck. Blood oozed from the wounds at her hips, soaked into the sheets.
She thought for sure she would die, that there was no possible way she could survive this. The heat inside of her, pumping in and out with a quickening pace, was surely melting her innards, liquefying her from within.
She screamed again, reached up and grabbed the fairy by the head. Her throat felt torn to shreds as the scream exploded out of her, ripped open her esophagus as if the shriek itself were acidic and coated with broken glass.
Fairy Page 4
