by J. S. Cooper
“Oh, honey.” Sally’s eyes widened in response to what I’d said. “You need to just leave him. You need to forget this whole arrangement. He’s not good for your heart. I know you love him, but if he’s making you feel bad about yourself, he’s not worth it. There will be other men, Mila. You are beautiful. You are generous. You’re funny. Smart. Shit, you’re the perfect girl. Any man would be happy to be with you. Trust me. You will fall for someone much better.”
“But none of them will be TJ,” I said, my voice bleak.
“They will be better than TJ.”
“There is no one better than TJ.” I gulped. “He’s my everything.”
“But you’re not his everything,” Sally said softly, her face sympathetic. “Don’t you want a man who will make you his everything?”
“I just want TJ to love me.”
“Oh, we’re messes.” Sally sighed and grabbed my hand. “How did we get to this place? Both of us in love with men who can’t seem to love us. What are we doing to ourselves?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t want to be single forever.” Sally’s lips pursed. “And I don’t want to be waiting on Cody forever either. What if it never happens? What if he never falls for me? What if I end up at fifty, never married, no kids, no loves, no nothing because I just waited around on him?”
“That won’t happen,” I said, but then as I spoke the words I realized the same thing could happen to me. What if I just waited around on TJ to somehow fall in love with me and be okay with it? How long would I wait? What if it never happened? What if he fell in love with someone else while I was here waiting? It would crush me, and even thinking about it made me feel sick. Imagining him with someone else, falling in love, telling her he adored her, holding her close, kissing her—oh, God, that would kill me. I would be devastated.
“What are you thinking about, Mila?” Sally asked softly. “You look like you just found out someone died.”
“What if TJ falls in love with someone else? Marries her? What if TJ’s not the problem? What if it’s me? What if he just can’t fall in love with me because I’m not the one for him?
“Let’s see how tonight goes and then we should have a serious conversation. Neither of us can just stay in these positions. It’s not healthy for us.”
“I know.” I nodded. “I need to talk to TJ as well. Need to tell him some stuff. Need to just be free to accept whatever happens next. I don’t want to be living in this emotional turmoil anymore.”
“Yeah, it’s not healthy,” Sally agreed and we just stared at each other for a few moments, both of us wondering what it was going to take to get the other one to step off of the ledge.
***
“Well, don’t you two look pretty?” TJ walked over to me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as he got home. Then he walked over to Sally and gave her a hug. “Looks like I got home just in time.”
“Yeah, just in time to not cook anything.” I shook my head at him. “Lucky you.”
“Did you really want my help cooking?”
“No,” I laughed and he grinned down at me, his eyes glowing.
“I’m just going to go and change quickly,” he said with a laugh and walked towards the bedroom. “I’ll be back.”
“Okay,” I said and looked at Sally, who was smiling.
“Don’t miss me too much,” he said with another laugh and I shook my head at him.
“I’ll try not to.” I giggled and grabbed Sally’s hand. “Let’s go and get a drink. We deserve one.”
“I’m down for that,” she agreed and we headed towards the kitchen. “So, TJ seems like he is in a good mood.”
“Yeah, he does,” I agreed happily. “It’s been nice this last week.”
“That’s good.” She nodded. “How’s it been going with his business deal? Have you met many of the shareholders and partners? How’s his dad been?”
“To be honest, I haven’t really seen his dad or anyone else since that party.” I shrugged. “And every time I bring it up to TJ, he changes the subject.”
“That’s weird.”
“Yeah, it is.” I nodded and held up a bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. “What’s your poison?”
“I need liquid courage tonight.” Sally grinned. “I’ll have a vodka-Sprite.”
“I think I’ll have the same.” I laughed and put the bottle of wine down. “So yeah, I’m not really sure how it’s going.”
“Four weeks is going to be up soon, though.” Sally looked thoughtful. “I’m guessing that this arrangement is going to last longer, then?”
“We haven’t really discussed it.” I shrugged, but I knew that I was hopeful inside. I was hopeful that it would last forever. Well, not the engagement. I was hoping the engagement would last long enough to become real and then we’d get married.
“I guess nothing’s happening yet?” she said uncertainly. “What about work? Are your parents doing better?”
“I don’t think so.” I sighed. “And I know they don’t want to tell Nonno and worry him.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t think so.” I shook my head. “That’s up to my parents.”
“Yeah, I guess so. But aren’t you majority owner?”
“I don’t really like bringing that up.” I bit down on my lower lip. “And it’s not like it means much until I’m thirty anyways. That’s when the shares vest.”
“That just means that’s when you can access the money. You still have all the rights as majority shareholder, Mila.” Sally pursed her lips. “Maybe you should ask TJ if he can give you some advice and help.”
“I don’t want to do that.” I shook my head. “It seems like it would be overstepping.”
“That’s not overstepping.” She sighed. “Maybe he can help.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Any word on Barbie?” she asked casually and I shook my head.
“I have no care to ever hear her name again.” I made a face and handed Sally her drink before downing mine. “No care at all.”
“Yeah.” She laughed and downed her drink as well.
Ding dong.
“I guess Cody’s here,” I said as I put my drink down and walked towards the front door. “You going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” Sally said as she took a deep breath. “God, I hope I don’t make a fool of myself.”
“You won’t.” I grinned at her. “I’ll make sure you don’t.” I winked at her and then continued on my way and opened the door. “Hey, bro,” I said and gave him a hug.
“Hey, you.” He kissed me on the cheek and surveyed my face. “You look happy.”
“I am happy.” I nodded and then noticed that there were two guys standing next to him. “Hi, I’m Mila,” I said as I stepped away from him.
“Oh, yeah, this is Brody and this is James,” Cody said as he nodded to his two handsome friends. “I hope you don’t mind that I invited them.”
“It’s no problem.” I smiled at him, but inside I was shouting. I hoped I had made enough food.
“Great,” he said and grinned at me. I saw his eyes searching inside the apartment and then he stopped when he saw Sally. “Hey, Sally, I was wondering if you were going to be here.”
“She’s my best friend, of course she was going to be here,” I said, answering for her. “Are there going to be any other surprise guests tonight?” I gave Cody a look and he looked confused.
“Like who?”
“Barbie?” I hissed.
“Oh, she’s got a boyfriend.” He shrugged. “I guess she’s dating some rich, older dude.”
“What?” I frowned. “Already?”
“I don’t know the story, but she had my watch and I wanted it back and, well, she said her ‘rich, older boyfriend’ wouldn’t appreciate me coming over to get it.”
“Okay.” I shook my head but didn’t continue the conversation. I didn’t want Sally to hear us talking about Ba
rbie and be reminded of his dalliance.
“Hi, guys.” Sally did a sexy strut towards the four of us and I could see that all of the guys’ attention was on her and her long legs in the heels she was wearing.
“Hi, I’m Brody.” The tall, stocky blond guy stood forward and shook her hand.
“Hi, Brody.” Sally gave him a dazzling smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too, my dear, you too.” He was grinning at her and continued to stand close to her.
“And this is James.” Cody looked at Brody with an annoyed expression on his face.
“Nice to meet you, James.” Sally smiled at him as well and he gave her a soft smile before turning to me.
“Hi, I’m James,” he said, his big blue eyes sparkling as he gazed at me.
“Mila. Cody’s sister, if you didn’t figure that out yet.”
“You’re much prettier than him,” he said, and I laughed.
“That’s good to hear. Thank you.” I blushed as he continued to smile at me.
“You’re very welcome,” he said as he ran his hand through his short, wavy brown hair. “Thanks for having us.”
“You’re very welcome,” I said.
“He’s very welcome for what?” TJ’s voice came booming into the room.
“For Mila being so gracious as to have me over for dinner,” James spoke up, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Sorry, who are you?” TJ frowned as he gazed at James and then at Brody.
“TJ, this is Brody and this is James. They are in my baseball league. We were batting earlier and I figured they could come for dinner as well. The more the merrier, right?” Cody said nonchalantly and I could see TJ’s eyes narrowing at him. Hmm, I wonder what was going on there.
“Sure.” TJ shrugged and walked over to me and kissed me on the lips. “I hope you didn’t miss me too much.”
“I didn’t.” I smiled up at him and his eyes narrowed.
“That’s what you say now,” he said softly, then turned back around. “Okay, who wants a drink?”
“I thought you wouldn’t ask, bro.” Brody laughed and then looked at Sally. “What are you drinking tonight, beautiful?”
“I think I’m sticking with vodka-Sprites for now.” Sally beamed at him and I could see Cody frowning at their exchange.
“And what about you?” James looked at me. “Actually, let me guess.”
“Go on, then.” I smiled as we all walked farther into the apartment. TJ was standing to my left and James was standing to my right.
“I think you look like a white-wine girl. Am I right?” He stared into my eyes with a teasing expression and I laughed.
“Actually tonight I’m drinking vodka as well.” I smiled back at him and I felt TJ’s hand on my arm.
“And she prefers red wine to white wine,” TJ spoke up. “Nice guess, though. What do you want, James?” TJ had a smile on his face, but his voice was slightly gruff.
“I’ll take a whiskey neat,” James replied, a huge smile still on his face. “What is cooking, by the way? It smells amazing in here.”
“I’m making my famous roast chicken with roast potatoes and baked macaroni and cheese with a salad.”
“Oh, my God, that sounds amazing.” James licked his lips. “Marry me.”
“Hahaha,” I laughed and blushed.
“Mila, let’s get the drinks,” TJ said and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the kitchen.
“Okay,” I said, annoyed at his attitude. “What do you want, Brody?”
“I’ll have a whiskey as well.”
“I’ll take a beerski,” Cody said and I saw Sally giving him a quick glance.
“Sounds good,” I said and walked over to the fridge.
“Are you paying attention to the food?” TJ said as I took a beer out.
“Sorry, what?” I looked at him, confused.
“Maybe pay more attention to the food and less time to flirting,” TJ said as he grabbed his decanter of whiskey. “I don’t think any of us want burnt food for dinner.”
“I am paying attention to the food,” I said, annoyed. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m just making sure,” he said as he put two ice cubes in his glass and poured.
“Well, thanks for making sure,” I said and left the kitchen and handed Cody his beer. “Here you go.” I handed it to Cody, but he wasn’t paying attention to me, as he was too busy watching Brody flirting with Sally, who was laughing her head off at something he was saying.
“Here are the whiskeys.” TJ followed me out and handed a glass to James and Brody. They nodded their thanks and both started sipping their drinks.
"So are you guys hungry? I have bread and cheese for an appetizer.” I looked at James and Brody.
"You had me at ‘cheese’," James said and I smiled at him.
"Well you're easy to please, then." I laughed. "And to clarify, it's French bread and brie."
"Even better." He grinned. "Tell me that you have strawberry or raspberry jam as well and I'll be an extremely happy man."
"I think we do." I laughed. "Though I'll have to check."
"I have strawberry jam," TJ said thinly. "Mila just moved in with me, so she doesn't know the complete contents of my fridge yet."
"You guys roommates?" James asked curiously.
"Something like that." I laughed and TJ scowled.
"What do you do, James?" TJ asked him, stepping closer to him. “Dustbin man?” he said under his breath, and I gave him a quick glance.
“Sorry, what?” James asked with a cheery smile.
“What’s your job?” TJ asked again and his eyes looked at me as he spoke.
“Oh, I’m an attorney. Patent litigation.” James grinned. “You’re in business, right? Cody was telling us.”
“Yeah.” TJ nodded and then smiled. “Mila’s in retail therapy.”
“Sorry, what?” James looked at me and half-smiled. “You work in retail?”
“Somewhat,” I said and tried not to glare at TJ. “I work for my family company.”
“She kinda works,” TJ said. “She likes to shop a lot more. So any guy she dates should have a lot of credit cards.”
“TJ.” Sally spoke up for me and glared at him. “Stop being an asshole.”
“I’m just joking,” he said and laughed, though he still looked slightly pissed off.
“I don’t mind spoiling my girlfriends,” James said as he walked closer to me. “In fact, I consider it a pleasure.”
“Oh yeah?” I smiled at him, trying to be beguiling, trying to annoy TJ for embarrassing me like that.
“So do I,” Brody said to Sally with a huge grin as he sidled up closer to her. “In fact, I think I plan a pretty good first date as well.”
“Oh yeah?” she said with a grin.
“Yeah.” He stared into her eyes. “I’d like to take you on one sometime.”
“Brody.” Cody slapped his friend around the shoulder. “Sally doesn’t want a player like you,” he said with a smile on his face, but as I stared at my brother’s tense face, I had the feeling that he was very jealous. Hmm, interesting.
“Mila, is the food nearly ready?” TJ asked me, his eyes narrowed. “I think we’re all ready to eat.”
“I’m not hungry for food,” Brody said and licked his lips as he stared at Sally’s legs, and I watched as Cody glared at him.
“Don’t be a pig,” James said and gave me a small smile. “Excuse my friend. He can’t contain himself around a beautiful girl.”
“And you can?” Brody said with a laugh.
“I’m doing so right now, aren’t I?” James answered and then looked at me. “I think I’m being a gentleman—right, Mila?”
“Oh yes, I think—”
“Mila, let’s go and check the food.” TJ grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the kitchen. I followed behind him quickly, feeling slightly amused that he was jealous. “Is it ready?” he asked me, glaring at me as we walked into the kitchen.<
br />
“Unlikely,” I said as I rolled my eyes at him and opened the oven. “There’s no need to be rude to our guests, TJ.”
“I’m not being rude,” he said as he stood there and poured some more whiskey. “I’m sure they’re hungry, just as I am.”
“Yeah, you weren’t complaining of hunger when you got home.”
“I didn’t want to be rude.” He shrugged.
“TJ.” I rolled my eyes at him. “You’re jealous.”
“Jealous of what?” He shook his head at me, his eyes looking slightly pissed still.
“Nothing,” I said as I ladled some gravy over the chicken to baste it, before covering it again and pushing it back into the oven. ‘It’s not ready, like I said.”
“Well, just make sure you’re paying attention to the guests as well as the food.”
“Yes, sir, no sir, three bags full, sir.”
“Keep calling me, sir, Mila.” TJ’s eyes sparkled at me.
“And what will happen if I do?” I put my hands on my hips and stared at him. “Huh?”
“You really wanna know?” His lips tilted up to the right.
“Yes, sir,” I said and licked my lips naughtily at him.
“Come with me,” he growled and grabbed my hand.
“Where are we going?” I opened my eyes innocently at him.
“I should take you to the living room, and give everyone a show.” He pulled me towards him and leaned down and kissed me roughly. “But I’m not going to do that.”
“I wouldn’t let you do that.” I kissed him back passionately and bit down on his lower lip.
“You wouldn’t let me, huh?” he said before sucking on my tongue. I reached my hands up and ran my fingers through his hair and pulled on his silky tresses as I pushed my body against his chest and felt his warmness against me.
“Nope,” I whispered against his lips, and he groaned.
“Come,” he said and he pulled me out of the kitchen and down towards the bedroom.
“TJ,” I whispered. “Where are we going?”
