I craved the focus Brett had shown me all evening, but my secret kept me from enjoying it. I’d never needed to hide things from him, and this should be no different. I had to come clean, but I couldn’t find a way to ease it into the conversation.
I had never allowed Brett to spend the night; it would have been too easy to have sex with him that way, and I wasn’t ready to commit my body to anyone else. The stress of the day had exhausted me, and after seeing me yawn several times, he got up to leave. I stopped him, pulling him back down. I refused to let him go without being up front with him, and there was no easy way to say it.
I blurted out, “He called me from the church today.”
“Who did?” My abrupt proclamation confused him.
“Gray.”
“Gray called you from the church…today?” The fury threatened to boil over. His chiseled cheeks flushed an angry crimson red, and his thick muscled arms wrapped around my waist. “What the hell did he want? Why was he calling you on his wedding day?” His attempt at tempering his irritation was not lost on me.
Certain parts of the male physique attracted most women: arms, legs, butts, chests…dicks. I, however, was a sucker for eyes that told a story. Brett had eyes that could write epic sagas. The beautiful, stormy emerald green with little flecks of gold sprinkled around had a smoldering look that was softened by the sweetness that lingered in them; they were soulful. His thoughts and his mood were written in the color of the irises and the lines on the skin around them—he appeared threatened and upset.
“He called me about ten minutes before the ceremony started, or was scheduled to start.”
“Why?”
“He wanted me to tell him I love him. He said if I did, he would leave her; he wouldn’t marry her.” It was the truth, but one I hadn’t wanted to share. I didn’t think I needed the emotions behind the words. The panic in my race to rid myself of the words should have indicated how I felt.
“What did you say?” He cautiously pulled back and put distance between us.
I caught his hand on my waist, held it in place, and reached for his cheek with my other hand. His anger had turned to fear with a hint of sadness. He doubted how I felt about him, and that was more crushing than dealing with Gray. I’d carelessly thought I’d shown him how much I loved him with my actions even if I’d never said the words.
“He still married her, so I didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.”
“But what did you tell him?” Green eyes frantically searched my face for an answer.
A soft smile graced my lips in an attempt to comfort him. “I told him it wasn’t my decision to make and if he didn’t want to marry her, he should do it for himself, not me. I’m with you and no longer an option for him.”
“He accepted that?”
“I didn’t give him a chance not to. I hung up and turned off my phone. I haven’t turned it back on since.” I slid my thumb along his high cheekbone, trying to reassure him with my touch and hoping he could see the truth in my eyes.
“You chose me over Gray, the love of your life?” His eyes brimmed with unshed tears as he fought off the emotion.
“No, Brett, I chose the love of my life over Gray. I should have told you before now. I don’t know why I haven’t. Those three little words are insignificant by themselves, separately none of them means much—but when you string them together, they have power no other phrase in the English language has. I love you, Brett. I wanted to ensure I showed you and forgot I needed to tell you, too.”
He jerked me to him, kissing me with an undeniable passion. I wasn’t certain I’d made the right decision with Gray, or if I had made the right decision by telling Brett, but I knew I had decided. I moved on with life after Gray, and that life only included Brett. Gray would always hold a place in my heart, just like Will—they were parts of my life—memories, lessons learned. The force that had bound Gray and me together hadn’t just disappeared because he got married, rather I had shifted it to the side in favor of something better—me.
In one swift movement, Brett scooped me into his arms and started toward my bedroom. He allowed me time to stop him, to turn him back toward the front door—I did neither. Instead, I sealed my physical relationship with Brett the night Gray sealed his legal relationship with Amber. The intensity of being with Brett differed from anything I’d ever experienced with Gray or Will—it was slow, methodical lovemaking. He was huge, almost uncomfortably so, but he was so tender and took his time, cherishing every touch.
He’d fallen asleep sated, and I listened to him breathe in the dark. My thoughts drifted over our relationship and the fact that Brett had just become the first man to spend the night in my bed since Gray, but also the first to spend the night in the house I’d given to myself to start fresh and heal. He was the third man I’d ever trusted, but I knew this time was right. Brett would never take advantage of my heart or my trust—he’d given himself to me completely. He’d waited patiently for me, proving he was in for the long haul.
He was four years my senior and had also only had two serious relationships prior to me. He’d waited for over a year for this night to happen, for us to consummate our relationship. At thirty to my newly twenty-six, he had never married or even gotten engaged. Brett had waited for me. Whether or not he knew it was me he had waited for was an arguable point, but the fact remained, he didn’t take commitment lightly.
Lynn and Brett conspired for months behind my back after Gray and I had called it quits for good. She’d known he was interested, but I wasn’t in a place I would receive his advances, and she put him off. As I shifted on the bed and in his arms, my fingers lightly stroked his jaw. A smile formed on my lips thinking about Jenny and Lynn staging their rescue mission. They had loved me enough to carefully orchestrate a plan with Lynn leading the charge. There had been nothing coincidental about the events, or that Gray and Topher would be there. Brett had taken the chance to be a pawn in her game, hopeful I’d see there were other people out there. Even if he only had one night with me, he was okay with my being a drunken, sweaty mess on a dance floor. Life had brought me exactly what I thought I didn’t need at precisely the moment I needed it most. Lying beside him tonight was proof of that. I’d come through the storm, and he’d provided the umbrella.
He was the one who brought me through the mess with Gray, not because I became dependent upon him, but because he had allowed me to live, just being me—I breathed freely. Brett had encouraged me to grow and appreciated the things about me that Gray loathed. He had never experienced the drugs because I’d never touched them again after that morning Gray found them in the bathroom. Brett had never rushed my heart or my touch. He’d waited patiently for me to be strong enough to stand on solid ground before he had asked me to move forward. He had eased into my life slowly, seeping between the cracks, hardening like cement, the fragments that remained in the aftermath that was Gray. Brett’s only goal: to set me free to be me. He hadn’t tried to convince me verbally of his love but had shown me day in and day out through his actions. With each bit of trust I put in him, he had rewarded me with a heart that was pure and true. The only desire Brett had was to give me his best.
He shifted next to me, his warm breath tickling my nose as he exhaled. As I watched him sleep, my body relaxed. I knew he was committed—it showed in everything he did, right down to waiting for tonight to happen. Brett and I had taken our time—we weren’t hot and heavy before tonight, not like Gray and I were. The attraction was there, mutually, but he had followed my lead without pressure. Each day he gave me free of expectation was another day that helped rebuild my self-esteem.
Sex brought me a connection I couldn’t undo, and for me, that connection had been tied to abusive circumstances and my inability to take care of myself before I worried about another. As weak as I sometimes felt, I had fought against the days I wanted to ravage him, in favor of an unbreakable friendship—I couldn’t handle a sex life that defined us—not before now. We had messed ar
ound, and I had confessed my worries to him. He knew I was terrified of how this connection would change us and my anxiety over what would happen if I never conceded. But he still never crossed the line or indicated he was frustrated by my self-imposed celibacy. With each conversation came a little more detail of my sexual past and his understanding.
I’d promised myself a year in therapy without clouding my judgment by a sexual relationship with anything more than what we were doing, and he knew that. I’d held him off with an abundance of petting, but damn, he could wet my panties with a simple kiss, and there were nights it took every ounce of willpower I had not to break the covenant I had with myself. My imagination had run wild with thoughts of Brett completely naked consuming me.
Tonight, he’d made every one of those dreams come true.
Twenty-four hours before the wedding
Typically, it’s the bride, who gets so excited in anticipation of her wedding day, she can’t sleep. I had never been geared that way; however, Brett apparently was. I had no trouble sleeping and nerves about the big day hadn’t hit me. Brett, on the other hand, had been running around like he was jacked up on coke. We had to leave for the airport early in the morning, and he’d been darting all over the house double checking our bags, loading the car, making sure he had our passports. The list was endless. I loved the man, but he needed to calm down before I became nervous and jittery.
I’d tried for the last hour to get him to come to bed to no avail; it was time to pull out all the stops. I wanted my man in my bed, so I could curl up next to him and go to sleep. He refused to join me, so I went to him—naked. Stripped bare, I left a pile of clothes on the bedroom floor and crept down the stairs. He was in the kitchen getting the coffee ready to brew in the morning and hadn’t heard my approach as I tiptoed down the hall. His back was to me, so I propped myself in the doorway on my elbow tipped behind my head twirling a lock of hair. I waited, casually posed like a sexy flamingo, for his attention.
He turned and jumped, not expecting to have company lingering in the doorway. “Jesus, Annie. You scared the crap out of me.”
I continued to twist a bit of my hair and waited for his reaction.
He stopped, stone-still, not a muscle in his body moved, but his shorts twitched. I waited as a coy smile formed on my lips.
“Damn, you’re gorgeous,” he murmured as if there were no one else in the room to hear his observation.
In a come-hither fashion, I crooked my finger at him, silently requesting his presence. I didn’t have to ask twice before he was instantly at my side, his hands splayed on my butt, pulling my body tightly to him. His arousal pressed through his shorts, but I didn’t want him here. I wanted him in our bed, upstairs, naked, with me. He leaned down to capture my lips, but I pulled apart just before he made contact. Turning toward the stairs, I assumed he’d follow, but when I reached the base of the stairs, I heard him laugh.
“You’re in for it; you better run.”
I took off up the stairs like a bat out of hell, laughing, out of breath, all the way down the hall to our room. I clutched my breasts with one arm to keep them from bouncing while I slid on the hardwood floors rounding the corner to our room. He was right on my heels and grabbed me by the waist just before I reached the sanctuary of our bed. He tossed me over his shoulder, and gave me a loud slap on the rump, leaving a rosy red palm print. Afraid to ask him, I bit down on his side, hoping to elicit the same response. I got what I’d hoped for.
“What the hell,” he tossed out confused. He wasn’t mad but had never seen this side of me.
I didn’t know how to respond and didn’t want to attempt an explanation, so I kept baiting him. Still thrown over his shoulder, I reached over to his opposite side and nibbled a little harder. Again, he rewarded me with a smack, this one harder than the last. Before I could stop myself, I let out a moan of pleasure. He stilled until he raised his hands to my waist and lowered me gently to the floor. He tipped my chin up as I blushed into a crimson flower. Keeping me close to him, his hands rested on my butt, their heat intensifying the sting his slaps had left. The burning sensation, coupled with his caress was soothing.
“Do you like that?” he asked timidly.
I didn’t have an answer for him. I’d never experienced it, but I was riding a high right now I didn’t want to come down from. My hand guided his to the evidence of my arousal unsure of where it came from. My teeth worried my bottom lip, scared of what appealed to me, but more so of what my fiancé was thinking. He hadn’t removed his hand. In fact, he’d continued to ensure I stayed excited, but this was unchartered territory, for both Brett and me.
He turned to sit on the bed, unsure of how to proceed. His face appeared blank, as though he’d lost interest. I hadn’t meant to scare him…or myself. Nothing about sex for me was ever normal, and I typically had to be coaxed into new experiences. I didn’t want to read into why the pain resulted in pleasure, and I wasn’t sure where a conversation would even lead, but I didn’t want to have it now.
Standing in front of him, I weaved my fingers through his hair and tilted his head back to reassure him with a kiss. Kissing Brett was like working with a perfectly timed director—he knew the precise moment to explore deeply, when to pull back, and when to break, but I adored the way he tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth as though he’d been cued.
Once I initiated, he always took over, and this time was no different. His body sprung to life before my eyes, but where I was after something carnal, tenderness lingered in Brett’s stare. I removed his shorts, climbed onto his lap to straddle him, and lowered myself down to a piece of heaven. Once settled, my head dropped back, and I used my knees for leverage and rolled my hips into him. We found a lazy rhythm together that drove us both to the brink, but didn’t quite push us over the edge. Brett was drawing this out, and I needed more friction.
There had never been a time Brett hadn’t given me exactly what I needed, and this was no different. Clutching me tightly to his chest, he flipped us both over, leaving him hovering over me.
“Hold on.”
I heeded his warning and clutched the rungs of the headboard. With the first plunge, I cried out in pleasure, and Brett gave me exactly what I’d craved.
Gingerly, I pulled my legs from around him, and he laid down next to me. He offered his shoulder for me to curl into. I rested my head in the nook, the one made just for me, the spot I fit perfectly, right where his shoulder met his neck. He coiled his arm around my waist once I situated myself and drew me as close as possible before he dropped a kiss on my forehead.
“I love you, baby. I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle in twenty-four hours.”
Just as I nodded off, he whispered one final thought.
“And we will talk about that spanking earlier.”
I couldn’t see his face in the darkness and couldn’t read his tone, but when I felt him smile, I thought he might be excited to explore instead of judgmental.
Brett nudged me to consciousness with sparse kisses to my forehead and gentle coos.
“It’s time to get up,” he murmured.
Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, it was 5:30 am. Groaning, I threw back the covers and trudged to the bathroom. In a trance, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and then brushed my teeth. I went through the motions of putting on jeans, a T-shirt, and my black Docs before he lured me to the kitchen with the robust smell of freshly-brewed coffee.
My fiancé stood waiting for me with a travel mug in one hand and a bagel with cream cheese in the other—breakfast of champions. “The car is packed whenever you’re ready to go.”
Before I took his offerings, my arms found his waist, and I laid my head on his chest. He automatically circled me in a heartfelt embrace, and he kissed my temple.
“Bless your heart, early mornings just aren’t your thing, are they?”
I shook my head and enjoyed standing there just a moment longer before I allowed him to hand me my breakfast. Our fli
ght left at 7:10 am and would put us in Montego Bay around noon. That left us six hours before the sunset ceremony that would officially make us husband and wife. That thought perked me up enough to get me motivated and out the door.
There weren’t many people on the plane, but there could have been a massive horde, and I wouldn’t have known it. I was asleep on Brett’s shoulder before they pulled up the landing gear. I woke to the stewardess instructing me to put my seat upright and prepare for landing. Wiping the drool from my mouth, I gazed up at Brett to see the look of adoration he always showed me. Smiling, I acknowledged just how grateful I was that fate intervened with better plans than those I had for myself—I’d been given the perfect partner.
The terminal was bustling with people. I couldn’t help but notice the way women stared at Brett and glanced down to our intertwined hands. They didn’t even try to mask the looks of disbelief as they scowled their judgment in my direction. I had no problem admitting, Brett and I did not look like a matched pair. Brett could’ve graced the cover of GQ, while I would’ve been better suited for Rolling Stone. He was breathtakingly beautiful with piercing-green eyes while I was the girl next door with a big smile. He was unfazed by it, and most of the time, I tried to ignore it.
I watched in awe as Brett raised his arm to hail a cab, seeing the confident way he moved regardless of what he was doing. The two of us were equally anxious, but once inside the cab Brett’s bouncing knee set him apart.
Reaching over, I placed my hand on Brett’s thigh to halt his movement. “Are you nervous?” I asked him.
“Absolutely not. I’m counting the minutes. I’ve been waiting forever for this, longer than you can imagine. It’s the adrenaline that has me pumped up.” He softly squeezed my hand and brushed his lips against my temple. “How could you possibly think I’d be nervous? I’m about to make you my wife.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want you to think we rushed into this. We got engaged a week ago and will be married by sundown.”
Freed (Bound Duet Book 2) Page 3
