“You need to get her something significant. Something she can treasure. One way or another, today is monumental for you guys.”
“What about jewelry?” Nothing said I loved her like dropping a mint on something sparkly.
“Have you met your wife? The closest she gets to dressed up is a new concert T-shirt and dark washed jeans.”
She had a point. Annie never took off her wedding rings, but other than that, she wore tiny diamond studs in her ears she never exchanged, and that was it. I watched as Lynn’s fingers danced on the keyboard, clearly searching for something.
“What are you doing?”
She shushed me and waved her hand in the air. Her eyes scanned the screen, moving too quickly to read every word on the page. When they stopped, and she smiled, I was hopeful she had a suggestion.
“A tiger’s eye.”
“Isn’t that an ugly brown and yellow looking rock?”
“First of all, you wouldn’t be buying it in a raw form. Second, it’s symbolic. She doesn’t have to wear it.”
“Why, does it have some special power?” I scoffed.
“Actually, yes. It’s believed to bring together the energies of the sun and the Earth to help alleviate depression and foster optimism. It helps fill the gap between wishing and having. It’s also known for stimulating reproduction. Seems rather perfect, regardless of the outcome.”
Her words seeped in, and a smile crossed my lips. She was right, it was perfect, and it was Annie. “Where the hell am I going to find a Tiger’s Eye?”
“The Miner’s Mart downtown.”
I looked at her like she’d sprouted a third eye.
“It’s one of those places kids go to for their birthday parties. Damn, Brett. You need to get in the know if you’re going to have a baby.” She winked at me and wrote down the address.
I kissed her on the cheek and promised to have Annie call her. Lynn was a good girl and had been a good friend to Annie. She’d also been good to me. There was no way I was letting her slip through the cracks because we had a lot going on.
The gem store was exactly where Lynn said it would be, and I was amazed I’d never noticed it before. The place was huge and set directly on Main Street. I’d walked by their front door hundreds of times and never so much as glanced inside. The place smelled like dirt when I walked in. It wasn’t dirty, but there was a section of the store where kids could mine for stones, and the dirt had a pungent scent. Immediately, I was greeted by someone who could have passed for Jenny’s twin. The little bohemian chick welcomed me to the store and asked me if I had anything in mind. Within minutes, I had picked what I wanted and watched her tie it up. It seemed perfect, but I wasn’t sure Annie wouldn’t use it to hit me.
I sent Lissa a text on my way to her house. I didn’t want to scare them showing up unannounced. My text indicated I’d like to steal her away for a bit. Lissa agreed that would be a good idea which worried me. Annie had been closed off the last few days which was never good. She’d been to see her therapist, but I never asked about those visits. If she needed them, I wanted her to go unencumbered. And if she’d wanted me with her, she would have asked me to tag along. Maybe I should have pushed her to talk, but I’d always tried to respect her privacy.
They were sitting on the front porch when I pulled up. I loved Lissa’s house. It was so out of place in the country, at least in South Carolina. The little cottage would be better suited on the countryside in Ireland. But here it sat.
When I got out of the car, Annie stood and walked toward me.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t think you were coming until this afternoon.”
The first genuine smile I’d seen on her face in days warmed me to the core.
“I couldn’t stay focused and wanted to see if I could hijack you for a little while.”
“Take her!” Lissa yelled from the front porch.
“Apparently, I’m free. Did you have anything in mind?”
“Just wanted to be with you. And I have a little something for you.”
“Want to go for a walk? There are miles of country roads available.”
I nodded and took her hand. When we reached the gravel road, the crunch of the rocks under foot and the sounds of nature filled the air. The sky seemed bluer, and the sun shone brighter. I was hesitantly optimistic the world had orchestrated the perfect day. Annie had never been big on gifts or surprises. She said they made her feel awkward, so I wasn’t surprised she hadn’t begged for me to hand over my peace offering. The longer we walked, the more I regretted my choice. It seemed stupid now.
“Penny for your thoughts?” She nudged me with her shoulder and stopped. Still holding my hand, she turned toward me using her free fingers to shield her eyes from the sun until she found a spot in my shadow.
“I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you.”
Annie didn’t need elaborate explanations. She knew what I was referring to, and she simply accepted my apology. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little bag the clerk had given me.
My face scrunched in nervous doubt. “It’s not much. Actually, you’re probably going to hate it, but I really tried.”
“What is it?” she asked as she took the bag from my hand.
I didn’t answer and waited for her to unwrap the tissue paper before launching into my explanation. The confusion was followed by a smile.
“Do you know what it means?” Annie was smart. It wouldn’t surprise me if she already knew the significance.
“Nope. But I love that you didn’t buy me some expensive piece of jewelry I’d never wear because it doesn’t go with a single thing I own.” She slid the bracelet over her wrist and held it out for me to slide the cords to adjust to her arm. The disk sat flat on her skin, and the sun caught it when she held up her hand to admire it. Even if the meaning was stupid, she liked the bracelet. “So?”
“It’s believed to fill the gap between wishing and wanting.”
Her arms went around my neck, and she said, “Today, we fill that gap.”
Annie’s optimism had been spot on. At four o’clock, the four of us sat huddled around Lissa’s dining room table with Annie’s phone on speaker between us. We were anxious for HCG levels. Without them, there was no pregnancy, fifty indicated one baby, two hundred or higher, and we were having multiples. All four of us had prayed for multiples.
Holding hands in a circle, we waited for the nurse to pick up the line.
“Hey, guys.” Her voice was chipper when it finally replaced the hold music. “Do we have everyone on the line?”
I took the lead. Annie was squeezing the circulation from my hand, and I wasn’t sure she’d be able to speak. “Yeah, all four of us are here.”
“Let me pull up Lissa’s file. Give me just a second.”
I had hoped her tone was an indication of her good news, but it didn’t seem she’d even looked at the labs.
“Everything looks good, guys. Labs are great.”
Annie took a deep breath beside me but hadn’t let it back out.
“HCG levels?” I asked.
“Looks like fifty-two. Congratulations. You guys have made it over the first hurdle. We’ll need to do another blood test in a few days to ensure the HCG levels are continuing to rise, but other than that, the next step is to schedule an ultrasound for Lissa at the six-and-a-half-week mark to check for the heartbeat, but this is all very encouraging.”
She transferred the call to the appointment desk. I turned to Annie who was sitting straight up, tears flowing down her face. We were all disappointed there wasn’t more than one, but we’d beaten the odds having success on the first try.
Just before I asked her if she was all right, she turned to Lissa. Annie placed her hand on her heart and blinked away the pools that filled her eyes.
“Thank you.”
Her ragged breath scared me.
“I’ll never be able to repay you for what you’re doing for us.”
The smile
she gave Lissa made my heart soar. The rest of us were disappointed there was only one viable pregnancy, but Annie was elated she’d finally get her baby.
“I’m sorry it’s not twins, Annie.” Lissa expressed what the rest of us were thinking with remorse.
“Oh no, don’t be. I would have been thrilled with twins, but I’m so excited with one, I could explode.” Annie rose from the table and went to her friend. They hugged for an eternity before my wife pulled back. Through heart-felt laughter, she said, “Only thirty-eight more weeks to go.”
Dan and I groaned simultaneously, but I knew he was happy for us. Annie and I went home that night and celebrated with each other’s bodies for hours.
“Brett, you have got to calm the fuck down. You can’t fight with him at work. You’re going to get your ass fired.” Dan had me backed up against the cement wall in the back of the DC. His forearm pressed into my chest painfully as my lungs struggled to fill with air fast enough.
I glared at the smug bastard walking away with his buddies. “So, I’m just supposed to let him keep fucking with Annie?”
“No, you’re supposed to deal with it off the clock. What the fuck is going on? And why haven’t you told me about it?”
Gray had been diligent in his pursuit of my wife. And he wasn’t trying to be discreet anymore either. Her phone went off at all hours of the day and night, text messages, phone calls, drunk voicemails. Graphic drunk messages about what he wanted to do to her sexually. It made me cringe he had that level of knowledge, but I couldn’t change her past and wouldn’t crucify her for it. When she finally blocked his number, the letters and flowers started arriving at her office and the house. I’d kept my mouth shut. Annie wanted the chance to deal with it on her own, so I tried to give that to her. But enough was enough. He’d shown up drunk at my house knowing I was in Atlanta for work. That fucker had scared the shit out of my wife, and I’d be damned if it didn’t stop today.
Dan had dragged me back to my office and listened to all the gory details of what had taken place since Gray’s divorce hearing.
“Does he know you guys are having a baby? Surely that would stop this shit.”
“Honestly, Dan, I don’t know what he knows. Annie hasn’t responded to him. His showing up last night was it for me, though. She’s so stressed out, she’s throwing up and doesn’t want to leave the house. She called me in tears. I drove three hours home at eleven o’clock last night. That fucker showed up that late.”
“How’d she finally get him to leave?”
I was so fucking proud of my wife. Knowing where she was with this douchebag years ago, how he controlled her every emotion and drove her self-worth into the ground, I never dreamed she’d be capable of doing anything to hurt him in return. It just wasn’t in her—she loved unconditionally, and some part of her still wanted him to be happy. “She called the police.”
“You’re kidding! Annie called the cops on Gray? I always miss out on the good stuff.” He shook his head in disbelief before saying, “Wait. Why didn’t she call me?”
“She doesn’t want Lissa to know. And since you’re shoved up Lissa’s ass, she knew you’d either be with Lissa or tell her and refused to risk anything happening to the baby.”
“So, what did the cops do?”
“He left before they got there. He’s lucky he didn’t get arrested for a DUI. They told her to file a trespassing order against him. Useless pieces of paper. I’m telling you, Dan, I’m going to kill the mother fucker if he comes near my wife again.”
“Don’t tell me that shit. Then it’s premeditated if I have to get on a witness stand. We just need to find him in a dark alley and express our desire for him to leave her alone. I’m quite sure we can get that message across and not do it on the clock.”
“You’d flip shit if someone was pulling this shit with Lissa.” I don’t know why I kept arguing. He had my back, but for whatever reason, I needed someone to justify my desire to pummel the hell out of Gray Dearsley.
“You’re right. I have a hard enough time with her going to work and not being with her every second of the day.”
“Why? She’s never given you a reason not to trust her.” My focus instantly shifted away from my hatred of Gray to my best friend’s reason for going crazy on his girlfriend.
“It’s not a trust issue at all. It’s that baby.”
“You’re worse than Annie. I thought I’d have to drag her away from Lissa, kicking and screaming, to keep her from driving Lissa insane. Annie’s shocked the shit out of me with how laid back she’s been up to this point, and you’re acting like a damn girl. What gives?”
“I don’t know, man. I knew I loved her before all of this. I tossed around thoughts of marriage, but I didn’t give them any real credence until she told us she didn’t want kids. Finding a woman like her, who didn’t want children, and loved me back, is a once in a lifetime opportunity. But something clicked inside me when the four of us were hovered over her dining room table waiting to find out if she was pregnant with my best friends’ baby. The lengths she’s gone to—what she’s doing for you guys—because she wanted to. She has no other motivation. I don’t want her to get away. Now that she’s pregnant, I know that baby isn’t mine and hers, but this natural instinct has just taken over, and I want to protect her—and the baby—at all cost. That’s hard to do when I live in a separate house and go to a job daily.”
I’d never seen my best friend like this. He was distressed over his inability to watch over her and take care of her the way he thought he should be.
“Put a ring on it,” I declared as though I’d suggested he send her flowers.
“I’m going too, but not until the baby’s born. But I want her with me in the same house until then.”
“Why do you want to wait until the baby gets here? She’s only twenty weeks. You’ve got twenty to go.”
“Because childbirth is going to be a bitch, and whether she wants children or not, giving away the life she’s been carrying and nurturing will be hard as hell. I want to be able to give her a gift when she gives you yours.”
If I were a girl, I’d be choked up. Dan wasn’t a sentimental guy, and he had never considered any woman’s feelings before Lissa. That one statement told me how committed he was to her and her happiness.
“So, you think you’re going to convince her to move in with you? She’s never going to leave that house without a commitment from you.”
“She might if we bought one together.” The hope glimmered in his eyes. “That’s a huge commitment. Us purchasing a house together is legally binding. It’s just not marriage.”
“Worth a shot, dude. Get Annie on your side, and you’ll be able to make it happen. But if Annie thinks you’re trying to get the milk without buying the cow, you don’t stand a chance in hell.”
“How do I do that without telling her my plan?”
“Make an offer on the house next door to mine.”
Just like that, Dan and I had conspired against our women together. Never in all the years we’d known each other had we ever hatched any sort of devious plan, but in my mind, this was perfect for everyone. It would put our best friends next door, the baby’s godparents within spitting distance, and Lissa would be one step closer to the life she wanted with Dan.
Chapter Fourteen
Annie
Brett hadn’t wanted to admit he’d gotten into a fight with Gray at work, but it came out when he told me Dan was going to ask Lissa to move in with him. I didn’t think she’d go for it until he said he wanted to buy the house next door. As thrilled as I was, stress and anxiety had me on edge. The issues with Gray left me uncomfortable and worried that he’d show up at random times, and I’d be alone. I couldn’t stand he was doing this crap to me, but Brett being involved escalated it to a level no one wanted to experience.
I was in this weird state of hovering between the life that was, the life that is, and the life that was coming. Maybe it would have been different if I had act
ually been carrying the child, but as it was, Lissa’s pregnancy was like an anticipated holiday. I was excited, but it wasn’t my reality. I’d gone with her to every appointment, made sure she had everything she needed and never had to ask, took her shopping for maternity clothes, and tried to make this fun for her. And while I loved watching her grow, it wasn’t the same experience as carrying the baby myself. It sounded ungrateful as hell, and I didn’t mean for it to, so I kept it to myself.
I was running myself ragged between work, being present for everything baby related, trying to be a good wife, and handling Gray’s shit storm. All I wanted to do was sleep, but my stomach was tied in knots. Brett’s admission made my stomach surge, and I ran to the bathroom. I had no coping mechanism anymore. Drugs were off the radar, we’d all agreed no alcohol since Lissa was pregnant, and I had no other vice. I didn’t want to burden anyone else with my petty concerns, so they were manifesting into physical illness to get me to slow down.
When I returned from the bathroom, Brett asked me if I was all right.
“Yeah, I’m fine. My stomach’s just been in knots. The ultrasound is Monday, you’re fighting with Gray at work, Lissa and Dan are probably moving in together. It’s just a lot.”
“Let’s break this down. Why are you concerned about the ultrasound?”
There was no use in trying to hide my feelings, so I tried the best I could to explain how I wasn’t feeling connected to the pregnancy and was afraid of what that would mean when the baby got here.
“I think that’s how most men feel when their wives are pregnant. They have nothing tangible to cling to, and it’s just an idea brewing for nine months. I think it’s normal, and once the baby gets here, you’ll bond instantly.”
“I don’t want to find out the sex of the baby.” I’d held it in as long as possible and fully expected to let everyone else have their way when it came time.
“Really? Why not?”
“Because I want to be the first to know. I know that’s selfish as hell.” My head hung in shame.
Our situation was probably more normal than we believed it to be, but it seemed unusual to me. Since hospitals were particular about the number of people in the delivery room, and there were three of us in addition to Lissa, we’d all decided on a home birth. More specifically, a water birth. We’d hired a midwife who was working with our OBGYN. She would be at the house with us, but if something came up, we had Dr. Matthews ready for the hospital as well. Yes, we were paying twice as much, but we only had one shot—none of us wanted to miss out. Lissa had decided on the water birth, which gave me the opportunity to be the one in the water to catch the baby, thereby allowing me to be the first to hold him or her before giving the little slippery infant to Lissa. Brett would cut the cord, and Dan would be there for moral support.
Freed (Bound Duet Book 2) Page 21
