***
I was in a meadow. It was night, the sky a deep bruised purple. There were no stars and no moon, yet it wasn’t truly dark. Why wasn’t it dark? I frowned. I’d thought that before. I looked around and realised that I'd been here before. My mind felt confused, everything was a jumble but I was here for a reason, wasn’t I?
I looked around, anxiety clawing at my guts. The utter stillness of the place was unnerving. I looked down at myself and saw unfamiliar clothes, a dress made of some coarse, moss green fabric, tied with a braided leather belt. Another braid circled my wrist and there was a symbol burnt onto the leather, a key.
The key! My mind latched on to the thought like a life line - I’d been here before because I was the key, this was Erebus. The thought was momentarily reassuring until I realised I was being watched. I could feel the weight of eyes upon me and the knowledge crawled over my skin. I shuddered and turned around full circle, but all I could see was more of the same meadow sweeping into infinity. I swallowed, my throat tight with fear, and noticed movement at the corner of my eye. Every time I turned my head it was gone, but it was definitely there, a malevolent shadow, and it was getting closer. I focused forward, watching the movements out of the corner of my eye, and realised with a jolt of fear, that it wasn’t one shadow, but hundreds. Before another thought could enter my head, I was off and running. My feet were bare and the hard ground was mercifully free of stones, but the grasses slashed savagely around my ankles and calves, making my skin itch and sting.
I ran for what seemed like hours. Sweat poured down my face, my feet and ankles were bleeding from a thousand tiny cuts and my lungs stretched like they would burst. Finally it was too much and I collapsed in a heap, sobbing, utterly exhausted and completely beaten. I had run as hard and as fast as I could and though I could no longer see the shadows, I knew that they would find me again. Yet for all my running, the meadow stretched on into the horizon, as dead and unchanging as a photograph. I laid down on the floor, my chest heaving with fear and exertion and fell into an exhausted sleep.
I awoke on a bare dirt floor and I looked around in astonishment. The meadow had gone but what had replaced it was no more encouraging. Behind me lay miles of dead ground, dry and dusty and in front, a sea of mud. Well whatever I was here for I felt compelled to carry on, I couldn’t go back, so hitching up my dress, I waded into the cold, sticky mud.
I struggled through the mud for hours, until I saw water shimmering on the horizon. The sky had darkened and it was hard to see where I was going but a small wooden jetty appeared to my left and I headed purposely towards it. As I got closer I began to notice something in the mud, under my feet. I suppressed a whimper of fear and told myself that it was only tree roots - despite the fact that the landscape had been flat and clear, without a tree in sight. The roots were cold and sharp and felt like they were grasping at my feet, pulling me down. I yelped, struggling desperately for the last few feet and hauled myself onto the jetty. I stood up and turned just in time to see a skeletal hand sinking back into the mud. My legs seemed to fold under me and I collapsed onto the wood platform, too terrified to scream … until I looked around and saw I wasn’t alone.
“Where is your payment?”
My shriek faded into the darkness as with horror slithering under my flesh, I stared at the figure in front of me. He was utterly emaciated, the leathery grey skin drawn tight across his bones and filthy rags that must have once been clothes, hanging from his frame. Black eyes, devoid of anything, regarded me with dull disinterest.
“P--payment?” I stuttered.
“If you want to cross, you must pay the toll.” He waved a hand in the direction of a dilapidated wooden boat, tied at the end of the jetty.
Out of nowhere, I began to choke as a wave of nausea overwhelmed me and I retched onto the rotten wood. A single gold coin fell from my mouth and rolled to the creature’s feet. I stared down at it stupidly, but he simply bent and picked up the coin, apparently unsurprised and gestured for me to get on the boat.
“You’re, Charon,” I said to him, as his name slid into my mind. “You ferry the dead across the river Styx.”
He nodded, dead eyes gliding over me “But you are not dead.” It sounded like an accusation.
“No.” I only hoped I was going to be able to keep it that way.
As he pushed away from the jetty and into the mist rising off the water, I was able to catch my breath for a moment. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my heart. I was here for a reason that much I remembered. I searched my mind for something solid, a purpose, and found blue eyes. Corvus. I was here for Corvus … and for myself, to remember my past. These were nothing more than memories, and yet, as I heard the water slapping the sides of the boat and watched the ghastly figure of Charon guiding us across the misty river, I found it hard to believe.
“Have you seen me before?” I asked, hearing my voice echo across the water and away into the misty darkness that swirled around us.
Charon nodded with barely a glance in my direction.
“How many times?”
“Once only.”
“When, and why only once?” I demanded, puzzled. “I thought souls had many lives.”
“Most do. You were favoured.” An unpleasant grin stretched his skin so far I was afraid it would split across his face.
“How long was I here?”
“Not long enough it would seem.” There was amusement in his voice though I failed to find it funny myself.
He guided the boat onto an identical jetty to the one we had left. My heart sank as I clambered out of the and looked out over another inhospitable landscape.
“Where do I go now?” I shouted, as he began his return journey. He shrugged and turned his back on me.
“I am the ferryman, not a guide.”
As his voice floated back over the black water he disappeared into the mist and I turned to face an arid land. It was a desert, with great cracks that split the ground and belched blue flames that rose for miles into the white sky. The further I walked, the brighter the light became until my eyes watered under the strain. The temperature was unbearable and the rough fabric of the dress irritated my overheated skin. I had never been so thirsty in my life and I decided that if this was a memory, I’d just as soon get onto the next one. So I lay down and closed my eyes, hoping for a new scene to appear just as had happened when I slept in the meadow.
I heard a voice, a deep masculine voice. It was musical and unnervingly familiar. “So you’ve come back to me, little one.”
I awoke with a start to find I was standing behind a tree.
“Jéhnina!” cried a child’s voice. “Found you!” A little boy of about six years old was jumping up and down triumphantly and pointing at me.
“Found you, found you!” He was cute, with freckles, green eyes and hair the same deep red as my own. With a sudden spark of clarity I understood and gasped in shock. He was my brother! I picked him up and swung him into an embrace.
“Nina, stop it.” He giggled and pretended to push me away until his laughter stopped abruptly and he pulled on my arm as we both heard the sound of horses trotting towards us.
“Soldiers, Nina. Hide!” Fear widened his big eyes as he tugged me down behind a fallen tree. We lay sprawled in the dirt as an army came marching past. The sun glinted off brightly polished armour as I peered cautiously over the tree, and my breath caught in my throat at the vision of the might of the Roman army in all its splendour. Banners flew on the summer breeze and thousands of men were marching in columns that stretched as far as I could see. At the head of it all was a magnificent commander on a massive black horse. White feathers danced on his helmet as he turned his head in our direction … and blue eyes met mine.
My heart skipped in my chest and I gasped as his mouth twitched into a smile and he turned his head away, pretending he hadn’t seen us. Corvus! The boy squeaked in fright and pushed my head to the floor, holding it down with all his might until h
e was sure the last of the soldiers had passed by. He stood up and glared at me.
“Nina! The goddess must have been watching over you. I swear he looked straight at us.”
I smiled at him. “Yes I think you’re right.”
Then, before I could cry out at the loss of a brother I didn’t know I had, I was standing in the dark.
“Jenny… Jenny, my love. Come back to me.”
It was the voice again. This time there was teasing affection and a touch of reproach in his tone and it was followed by a soft chuckle that, for some reason, made my heart beat faster.
“Who’s there?” I yelled. Who the hell was he? The darkness around me began to recede and I saw that I was in some kind of temple. An altar stood before me but my attention was taken by the woman standing in front of it. Hekatê!
Her expression was warm as she greeted me. “Well, my dear, it seems that you are on the right path.”
I looked at her feeling more than a little bewildered. Was this a memory? Was I Jéhenne, now or Jéhnina?
“Come now, my dear, don’t look so lost. Surely this place is familiar to you?”
Hekatê smiled at me kindly and I glanced around the temple. It was filled with candles and flowers, exotic blooms of colours and varieties I had never seen in England or France, but which were as familiar to me as my own hands.
“You always took pleasure in arranging the temple,” she said, her voice soft as she moved behind me, her white robes swishing quietly in the serene calm of her sanctified place. “Do you remember?” she asked.
I nodded, I did remember. “Is this a memory?” I looked back at her, feeling perplexed.
She chuckled and shook her head. “It is rather more than that, don’t you think Jéhenne?”
Jéhenne … at least she’d used my real name, which was reassuring.
“It seems real.”
“You are back in the Underworld, Jéhenne,” she confirmed and I felt something slide into place in my mind. Yes, I had been here. Corvus had been right all along. I turned my attention back to the goddess as she spoke again. “I needed to speak to you again, so I took the opportunity. You were here before, for a very long time.”
I nodded, finally ready to accept it. “But I was Jéhnina?”
“Yes, you were Jéhnina and you were not supposed to die when you did. Your time was cut short. You were killed by the Knife of Belial or I would have intervened. As it was there was nothing I could do.”
My blood chilled beneath my flesh at her words. I looked at her, a goddess standing in her own temple, and felt my breath coming in sudden little gasps, I had known Jéhnina was murdered with a knife, but knowing an abstract person had died two thousand years ago was one thing, knowing you were that person and that you’d been murdered with an enchanted weapon was something else entirely.
“There, there, child,” she said, a touch of amusement in her voice. Hekatê moved fluidly towards me and placed her hand softly on my head. I felt the fear melt away in the golden glow that poured over me from her hand and breathed out in relief as my body relaxed.
“Better now?”
“Thank you,” I nodded. “But tell me why? Why did I die like that, what happened?”
Hekatê frowned. “We had entrusted you with an mission, Jéhenne, you had a destiny that was going to change our world. There were some who did not want those changes and so they interfered, but it is time to set things right, as they should have been before.”
I felt anxiety churn in my stomach, remembering what Corin had told me about my powers and what Remé had said about the gods having plans for me.
“If I was so important why didn’t I get returned to the mortal world immediately?” I demanded.
She snorted, which seemed an oddly human gesture from a goddess. “Because I was not allowed to, you were favoured and your presence in the Underworld was deemed more important than my concerns, or indeed the concerns of other gods.”
It was clear I had touched a nerve and I hesitated before asking the obvious. “Who favoured me?”
She looked at me with narrowed eyes, considering. “You do not remember?”
I shook my head. “No, since I’ve been here I’ve heard a voice in my head. He calls me Jenny, but I don’t know who he is.”
Hekatê threw back her head and roared with laughter. “Well, that is a sweet little revenge at least.” Her amusement chilled me as I heard the cruelty in that laugh and I wondered what was so damn funny. She saw my scowl and patted my arm. “I’ve no doubt you will remember in time my dear, but in the meantime I will enjoy his discomfort.”
“But Hekatê, I need to know!” I protested. “Who is this man? Did I love him?”
There was a snort of derision. “Oh love!” she replied in disgust, while systematically pulling the petals from a beautiful pink and scarlet lily. “I have no time for love and neither do you. You came here to remember your life and so you shall.”
With that she dropped the broken bloom, put her finger to my forehead and closed her eyes. I gasped at the parade of images that flew through my mind. I saw my mother - Jéhnina’s mother, with flashing green eyes and red hair like my own. I was her hope for the future, so my younger sisters and my brother in particular were ignored - as a male child he was deemed unimportant. So it was me who loved him and took care of him. I saw the power of my craft, honed by years of practice, I had begun to learn from the time I was a tiny child. I saw myself summoning a kelpie, a dangerous water spirit. The great black horse strode proudly out of the deep river waters bending his head in submission to do my bidding. Kelpies were known to be unpredictable and deadly and I wondered what on earth I’d been doing, toying with such power.
I saw the moment of my death, Tacitus as he flung the blade at me and heard my last words, my promise to Corvus that we would be together again. Then Hekatê withdrew her touch and the pictures stopped. I dropped to my hands and knees, breathing heavily … this was all getting too much, I wanted to go back! I wanted my own time, my own life. I felt the tears welling in my eyes and swallowed hard, unwilling to show any weakness before Hekatê. She seemed kind enough, even seemed fond of me, and yet I knew I was just a tool. For some reason I was her means of getting what she wanted and if I displeased her she’d pull me apart as easily as the broken flower. I steeled myself and stood up straight, all be it a trifle unsteadily.
“Why am I the key Hekatê?”
She frowned, her face serious as she began to pace the floor of her temple. “Events were put in motion to ensure that you would die before my plans came to fruition. The creature that did this thing has plans of his own. He instructed Tacitus to worship one of my daughters and in this Tacitus has been a loyal subject for many centuries. The vampire has a great many followers now and my daughter believes she is becoming more powerful than her mother, who is forgotten by the modern world.” Hekatê turned away, obviously distressed. “I held the second of two keys, the first is held by Dis Pater himself, the Lord of the Underworld. They would have never dared to go against him, but it seems their mother was not afforded the same respect.”
In a sudden fury she lashed out and three crystal vases smashed to the ground. Tiny shards of glass skittered across the marble floor and lay twinkling in the candle light amongst the bruised blooms. With her back to me she smoothed a hand over her hair and straightened her shoulders before turning to face me, looking composed and regal once more.
“The key was in danger, I was afraid Dis Pater was in league with them. I have long believed he meant to take the key from me and I could not hold it against him, so I hid it within you. I finally had enough influence to get you returned to the mortal world and where better to hide the key than in full view of the man who plotted with my daughter to steal it from me.”
“But when I came back, Tacitus knew who I was immediately,” I objected. “He would have killed me.”
She shook her head. “I have seen the way your vampire mourned you, child. I knew Corv
us would protect you, and besides,” she shrugged with a dismissive wave of her elegant hand. “Even if he had succeeded it would have done him little good. The key is attached to your soul, so if you die, you both return to me. At worst it bought me a little more time.”
“But how do I get rid of it!” The notion of this key being somehow joined to my soul was horrific.
“You don’t!” she replied her tone hard now. “Unless I choose to take it from you.”
Just fantastic, I thought savagely. Even if I somehow defeated Tacitus, and the how was way beyond me just at the moment, if news of it ever got out, I’d have every demon and evil spirit in the universe out for my soul. I considered my options for a moment, it didn’t take long as I didn’t actually have any.
I watched her carefully as I posed the question. “And if I choose to use the power of the key myself?”
Hekatê whirled around to face me, her eyes flashing with rage. “I would not recommend that,” she snapped. “It would greatly displease me!”
Well, that cleared that up. Hekatê smiled and was suddenly all graciousness and good will once again. “Don’t worry, my child, I’m sure that between your new alliance with Sariel, the protection from Corvus and your own powers, you will find a way to defeat Tacitus.”
At least one of us was confident.
“That is all I ask of you,” she said, with another airy wave of her hand. “Rid me of that cursed creature and I will take the key from you as you desire.”
Oh is that all? I raged inwardly. She gave me a beatific smile and it was all I could do not to slap her. The impossibility of the task weighed me down and I felt tired to the very depths of my bones.
“I will give you a little gift, my dear, Jéhenne.” Hekatê said, all sweetness once more. I looked at her with suspicion. Gifts from the gods were something I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into, bearing in mind the trouble I was having with her last little trinket.
“Oh come now, wouldn’t you like to see your lover when he was still human?” Her eyes twinkled at me, full of girlish humour. I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her, but I did want to see Corvus. I bit my lip and she chuckled. “That’s what I thought.”
I felt a rush of warm air sweep past me and found myself laying in a meadow. It wasn’t the lifeless meadow in which I had begun this journey though. I could hear bees humming lazily around me and the cicadas chirruping and then … a deep contented sigh. I turned my head and saw Corvus beside me. He was lying on his side with his head propped on his elbow. He smiled down at me and my heart felt like it gave a great leap in my chest. As I tried frantically to adjust to this new turn of events he leaned over and kissed me. I put my hand on his bare chest and almost gasped out loud, not only was his skin hot and damp, but I could feel the steady thump of his heart beating against my palm.
“I wish I didn’t have to go,” he said. The words murmured against my lips as I just stared at him in awe. He sat up and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on over his head. I opened my mouth to speak just as it dawned on me what I'd just missed, so I quickly closed it again to prevent me from calling Hekatê every name under the sun. I knew damn well she thought she was being funny. Ha bloody ha.
A frown creased his brow and he reached out, cupping my face with his big, warm hand. “Are you well, my heart?”
I nodded and smiled at him as best I could. It was hard to focus on anything though as I simply couldn’t take my eyes off him. His skin was deeply tanned and his hair almost white-blond in the sun. To see Corvus as a mortal man was incredible enough but in the sunlight as well, it was more than my poor brain or heart could cope with.
“You haven’t changed your mind already have you?” he said with a smile, though there was anxiety in his eyes. “You do love me?”
My throat went tight and I found I couldn't speak. The concern in his eyes grew. “Jéhnina?”
He was looking really anxious now and I tried to push the words past the lump in my throat.
“Yes” I breathed, nodding and finding tears filling my eyes. They slid down my cheeks in a hot stream and his frown deepened. Apparently the tears hadn't helped as he didn’t look the slightest bit reassured, so I raised my arms and slid my hands behind his neck, snaking my fingers into his hair.
“I love you,” I said again, making sure he could hear I meant it this time. “Of course I love you, more than anything else in the world.” And as I said it, I realised that it was absolutely true, both in this lifetime and my own. I felt his body relax and he pulled me into a kiss, and suddenly it didn’t matter who or when I was, Jéhenne or Jéhnina, we were one and the same and we both loved him. Nothing else mattered apart from being with him. Warmth pooled in my stomach and spread through me, right down to my toes and I sighed blissfully as his lips left my mouth and trailed down my neck.
From out of nowhere a breeze blew up, rushing over me and ripping me from his arms before dropping me heavily to the ground. I stumbled and fell to my knees on a grassy floor and looked up to see a magnificent white building towering in front of me.
“You mean bitch, Hekatê!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, frustration burning through my veins like acid. In reply I heard feminine laughter, sweet as candy floss, drift softly through my mind. Putting Hekatê firmly at the number one position of people I hated most in the world, I got to my feet and dusted myself off while cursing her with great enthusiasm.
Feeling deeply aggrieved and hard done by, I stood up and looked around me. There was plenty to see. The building itself was beautiful, a palace set amongst the most glorious scenery. Not that I knew anything about architecture, and my geography was pretty poor too, but it definitely looked Mediterranean to me, perhaps Greek, and it was set on the edge of a great cliff. As I looked gingerly over the edge, I saw wide, shallow steps leading down to a golden sandy beach. The cobalt sky was swallowed up into the vivid blue sea, and it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. Looking back towards the palace, I sighed inwardly and started to walk towards it. I was obviously here to see something, so I might as well get on with it.
The closer I got the more familiar the place became. I walked into a beautiful garden with fountains splashing cheerfully and red roses climbing up an elegant, white marble pergola. The ocean view between the pillars, framed by the roses was simply the most breathtaking thing I had ever seen. I sat for a moment on a curved stone bench and just looked. It was serenely beautiful and as I sat studying the endless blue, I remembered that I had done this countless times before. It was a place that had always calmed me and brought me comfort. This was my place, my home. The thought broke through my peace like an arrow and I swung around to stare at the great palace. There was no way on earth that place was my home … was there?
I took a hesitant step towards the palace and stopped, my heart thudding heavily. Part of me was longing to go in as I felt it was a place of safety and refuge, a place where I had been … content. I just wasn’t sure I trusted these feelings or whether I wanted to know about this place, even if it had been a place where I’d been happy… maybe especially then.
I eventually decided I had to take a look inside. After all, it was only a house, no matter how splendid and I figured I wouldn’t be going anywhere else until I’d done what I was supposed to.
I walked in through the giant front doors, looking warily for signs of life but the place appeared to be deserted. I passed through a spectacular entrance hall with vast ceilings and a golden marble floor, but I didn’t take in any of the details that were around me. My attention was focused solely on a large, solid oak door. It looked the same as the gateway to the Underworld, but whereas that had been ancient and dusty, this was deeply polished and gleaming. I waited in front of the door, unsure of what to do next when I noticed it … a delicious scent curled around me, full of exotic spices and the smooth aroma of fine wine. Cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves enveloped me, with a tang of orange and something deeper, more subtle. I put my hands flat
on the door and with a shock realised that it was warm, a living thing. I tried to draw my hands away but the voice drifted through my head like melted chocolate, deep and rich.
“Come to me now, Jenny. It has been too long.”
More than anything I wanted to open the door, but the scent enclosed me too tightly, I couldn’t breathe and I struggled against it.
“Little one, please.”
The voice was reproachful now and a little annoyed, but I continued to resist its seductive call. Whatever was behind that door was powerful, more powerful than Corvus, more powerful than Hekatê or even both of them combined. What was behind the door was beyond imagination.
Using all the strength and willpower I could muster, I tore my hands away and turned and fled back through the palace.
I ran as hard and as fast as I could, bare feet slipping on the polished marble. I flew through the front doors and careered through the gardens, heading towards the cliff. I felt the anger of whatever it was building behind me and I ran towards the edge with no other thought in my mind than to escape and then… I jumped.
The Key to Erebus (The French Vampire Legend. Book 1) Page 38
